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Behold the King’s daughter, fairest among maidens. Lips red as a rose, hair black as ebony, skin white as a Keith Urban concert. No wonder a handsome foreigner was smitten when he saw her. And his love didn’t go unrequited. This is how the Tale of Beren and Luthien begins in The Silmarillion. Boom! See that misdirection? You thought it was some Snow White shit, but it wasn’t. I mean, it is that, but it’s also Tolkien.

Mortal man Beren and elf maiden Luthien Tinuviel (of the new Jersey Tinuviels) are forebears of the kings of Numenor and Gondor. Seeing as how the love story of Beren and Luthien echoes through the millennia in their great-great-many-times-great-grandchildren, it comes as no surprise that a similar fate awaits Aragorn and Arwen’s descendant, Snow White.

At this point you may be thinking that we’re smoking too much of that pipe with Gandalf, but have you noticed Snow White’s rapport with the birds and beasts of the wild? The way they listen and respond to her?

Doesn’t this suggest a deep connection with nature, as someone with Elvish blood would have?

Snow White Is A LoTR Sequel: A Mind-Blowing Theory