gif:da

A brief summary of inquisition characters
  • Cole : Precious cinnamon roll. Too good, too pure for this world.
  • Solas : *Sound of sobbing lavellans in the distance*
  • Varric : Hawkes no.1 fan, also head of the cole protection club
  • Dorian : His moustache brings all the boys to the yard
  • Iron bull : Bigass quanari hulksmash, lil bit gay for dorian though
  • Krem : He's ACLASSI guy *badum tsh*
  • Vivienne : Anti-Mage Mage. Disapproval intensifies.
  • Sera : *Throws a jar of bees at a dragon* Aesthetic
  • Cassandra : Secretly a fangirl. DON'T tell varric
  • Blackwall : 100% grey warden, the greyest of all wardens. In peace, vigilance. In war, victory. *looks at smudged writing on hand* in dying, sacrificial
  • Cullen : No longer complete with noodle curls. Bless you, andraste, bless you
  • Josephine : Sweet angel (until she's not.) Still waiting on that marble bath though
  • Leliana : I am a mysterious spy, nothing ca- *hundreds of photos of schmooples the nug fall from her robes* CRAP NO I WAS JUST
  • Morrigan : Heheheh I'm back bitches, demon child in tow. Remember? From the scene that scarred all the Alistair romancers back in origins? YEEEEE BOI.
  • Hawke : I'M BACK TOO AND VIRTUALLY IRRELEVANT TO THE PLOT!
  • Anders : Oh wait, no one knows where the HELL HE IS RIGHT NOW
  • Inquisitor : My hand freaking glows. I have the power to literally punch the fade AND corpheoheouhus in the dick, simultaneously. But, y'know what I still don't have enough of? ELFROOT. Let's go do that first!
My sisters reaction to Dragon Age characters

My sister never played any Dragon Age and I introduced her to some characters.

Cassandra:
My sis: He looks like a girl.
Me: She is a girl
My sis: Oh… She looks like a boy

Shale:
My sis: Its a stone…

Morrigan: 
My sis:
*Silence* …. a woman.

Anders:
My sis:
He looks like Dj Bobo

Cole:
My sis:
He looks like a bogle

Corypheus:
My sis:
Is his face made of car parts?

Cullen:
My sis:
Hes cute

Sera:
*Long silence*
Me: Shes a lesbian
My sis: Yeah thats pretty obvious

Isabela:
My sis:
is that a gypsy?

Iron Bull:
Me: Hes one of my favs
My sis: Is that a tree on his head?
Me: ….Its horns
My sis: And a slug on his eye?

Alistair:
My sis:
Hes just as ugly as boris becker

Samson:
My sis:
Eww wth, I wouldnt want to run into him at night

Sebastian:
My sis:
Okay hes handsome thats mine, can I have him?

Solas:
My sis:
Oh look, Voldemort found his nose

Josephine:
My sis:
Theres a candle

Merrill:
My sis:
I dont like her tattoos

Fenris:
Me:
And this is my husband
My sis: He looks like he ripped out his bones and smeared them onto his skin.
Me: …..These markings are painful to him you know?
My sis: Hes cute tho.

Dorian:
My sis:
He looks like Johnny Depp with a weird beard.

Varric:
My sis:
Hes cross eyed, I bet his aiming is horrible.
Me: Oh, you wanna say that to his face?
My sis: You think he could even see me with those eyes?

  • Bioware: Hey guys, here's our fun new fantasy RPG series Dragon Age! And guess what! You can choose what race and background you have AND choose who you have a relationship with! So many choices, this will truly make a diverse fan base!
  • 99% of DA fans: Makes a female Cousland that romances Alistair, makes a pro-mage sarcastic mage-class female Hawke that romances Fenris, makes a sharp-tonged shem-hating mage-class elf-and-mage-rights female Lavellan that romances either Cullen or Solas