Ok so after like 5 days I’m finally done! I’m not tagging anyone, because it’s not pirate related. But I’d love it if people read this and smiled just a little.
The roses gently rustled in the plastic wrapping whenever the car hit a bump on the road. Zack nervously tapped the steering wheel to the rhythm of the music, his mind drifting off at the thought of having dinner at Mavis’ house. They hadn’t been dating for long, and they were still in the awkward stage of trying to get to know each other. He liked her free spirit, her constant smiling face, and how gentle she was. And there was something about her beautiful brown eyes that drew him in almost instantly.
Amidst his daydreaming, he passed by the address and slammed on the brakes, his seatbelt preventing him from going out through the windshield. He quickly backed up on the empty street and found a parking spot in front of her house. He smelled his breath a few times and thought a mint mouthwash was appropriate. He hoped she wasn’t cooking anything with garlic. He also wondered whether or not he would have the courage to finally kiss her.
He gave himself a quick glance in the rear-view mirror, grabbed the flowers, and left the car. He wasn’t sure if she would like them, or maybe she was allergic? He thought he could quickly chuck them in a trashcan if she were. The last thing he needed was to be sitting with her in the ER because he didn’t think of asking her if she could be near flowers.
In front of him was a two-storey townhouse made of red bricks with a cobblestone path that led from the sidewalk all the way to the front door. Zack took a deep breath as he reached to press the doorbell, but ended up hesitating. Why was he getting so worked up? He had dated before. Many girls at that. But it had been a while since his last relationship, and a part of him wanted things to work out. Oh God, were his hands sweating? He quickly ran them over his pants a few times. Did his breath truly smell like winter spearmint or was it just him wishfully thinking? What if she were allergic to mint too?
His heart leapt as he pressed the doorbell. A set of chimes sounded on the other side of the door, and Zack began to try and position himself. He repeatedly hid the flowers behind his back, in front of his face, on the side, and then gave up altogether. He gave himself a few taps on the face to pull himself together, wondering why he was behaving like a 17 year-old getting ready to ask a girl out to prom. He was 29.
The door clicked open momentarily, and in the space of one second he heard a shrill voice yell out, “THESPAGHETTISQUASHISBURNINGPLEASECOMEIN!”
Zack held the flowers against his chest in shock, and gently pushed the door open. He caught a glimpse of Mavis running towards the other end of the house, skidding as she turned to the left and rushing out of his sight.
I know I’m never going understand the world.
I used to think I was just going figure out life.
I used to have all these opinions you know. I used to look down on people with tattoos, because I thought they didn’t understand what they were doing. And now I admire people with tattoos because at least they thought they knew what they were doing. I crave that clarity… to walk in and say to a guy, ‘Flying pig with fire coming out of his snout. Right here. Because that’s who I am’.