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Reasons Sochi is not ready for the 2014 Winter Olympics

By all accounts Russian resort city/credit card fraud mecca, Sochi, isn’t ready for the two-days-away 2014 Winter Olympics. Here are some of the reasons why:

  • Workers have yet to figure out “how to make that flat cold stuff you can skate on.”
  • Many new bus stops have been left unfinished after workers were chased off by Sochi’s feral Ukrainian Biting Horse population.
  • Due to poor urban planning, a Quiznos was built in the middle of Sochi International Airport’s runway.
  • Downhill skiing typically requires a course of approximately 2 miles. The present course in Sochi is a 30-foot vertical drop off a cement wall onto a pile of stray dog skeletons.
  • The Olympic Village is still on fire.
  • All slalom gates have been stolen by local street gangs to use in battle with Sochi’s feral Ukrainian Biting Horse population.
  • Russian officials are scrambling after realizing they “totally forgot about curling.”
  • Internal miscommunications have resulted in a bobsled course that ends with the ski jump. Further miscommunications have lead to a ski jump course with a landing area on the biathlon’s shooting range.
  • After immediately disappearing upon arrival in Sochi, reports say the newly resurfaced Canadian hockey team look suspiciously like feral Ukrainian Biting Horses standing on their hind legs.
  • Lax security has allowed a homosexual to enter Sochi.
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The truth about reverse racism. 

Aamer Rahman (Fear of a Brown Planet) - Reverse Racism

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Nick Offerman reveals the secret to getting your indie film to Sundance. Really insightful, absolutely a must-watch for all aspiring filmmakers or writers/artists/creative people in general.