gif:boburnham

From God's Perspective (Unfinished / Early Version)
  • From God's Perspective (Unfinished / Early Version)
  • Bo Burnham
  • Just For Laughs - 2011
Play

I’ve never written a book in my life, because your tiny brains would never get it
Me compared to Shakespeare is like Shakespeare compared to Shakespeare’s wife
I gave you everything, but I gave you simple minds so you made simple things
I gave you healthy birds, you made chicken wings
I gave you nipples, you made nipple rings

You’re not going to heaven
Why would you ever think I’d ever hang out with you?
You’re all dicks, I don’t need you
I know a million aliens cooler than you

People give me money, but I don’t know why
‘Cause my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy
I made every girl different and they’re all perfect just the way they are
People tell them different and people are smart
I just made the stars, you think you know beauty
Trust me, you don’t - I’m the one who created them
You’re overpopulated, so I slaved for days making gays and you ended up hating them

How do you get out of a song you haven’t finished? Haven’t figured it out yet, segues are weird.

…I was born in 1990 and I was sort of raised in America when it was a cult of self-expression, and I was just taught, you know, express myself and have things to say and everyone will care about them. And I think everyone was taught that and must of us found out that no one gives a shit what we think. So we flock to performers by the thousands ‘cause we’re the few that found an audience, and then I’m supposed to get up here and say “follow your dreams,” as if this was a meritocracy? It is not, okay? I had a privileged life and I got lucky and I’m unhappy. They say it’s…it’s like…the ‘me’ generation. It’s not. The arrogance is taught or it was cultivated. It’s self-conscious. That’s what it is, it’s conscious of self. Social media is just the market’s answer to a generation that demanded to perform, so the market said: “here, perform everything, to each other, all the time for no other reason.” It’s prison, it’s horrific. It’s performer and audience melded together. What do we want more than to lie in bed at the end of the day and just watch our lives as a satisfied audience member? I know very little about anything, but I do know this that if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it.
—  Bo Burnham, Make Happy
4

Bo has some words of wisdom for those looking to make it in Hollywood: don’t even bother. x 

“There’s gonna be little children singing later and they have the light of God in their eyes and they should be happy, but once you have a debit card, give up.”