gif: sometimes

No sabes lo que me causas cuando te siento cerca… ¿Es amor, es lujuria o miedo? seguramente las tres, pero es difícil respirar cuando estás tocándome allí, es difícil respirar cuando estás besándome ahí y es difícil respirar cuando no estás aquí.
—  Sometimes
The one thing I think I hate most about myself is my persistent want to be love and be loved. No matter how many times I shut such thoughts and feelings out, they always return. I always end up wrapping my arms around a pillow at midnight wishing it was a real person. I always end up feeling lonely whenever I hear a love song, secretly wishing I could understand their joy. I hate it. The desire alone makes me feel so weak and vulnerable. Then I actually open my heart and love someone and I just end up hurt. I’m angry at myself for being so foolish to let myself fall in the first place. Why would I want to give another human power to hurt me? It makes sense to shut out the desire to love, but it remains nonetheless. I suppose that makes me human. That desire to be close to people is the very definition of human. Even so, I wish I could rise above my mortal desires, but alas, here I am full of longing and lonely as ever….
—  // 10:54pm //