gif: princess diaries

reasons why the princess diaries 2 is actually the best movie ever made

ok so i know that when we were all young fanchildren we all watched this movie and sighed dreamily. but i am here to tell u that this movie is even better than u remember

1. the main conflict in the movie is the arranged marriage. i’m gonna stop right here, because princesses in arranged marriages are a classic fanfiction trope that we are all trash for. don’t lie to yourself. but it gets BETTER. not only is there an arranged marriage… the guy she’s arranged to marry is actually a really chill dude. u like this dude. u know they would be good friends and partners. he would make a good king. but sHE DOESNT LOVE HIM!!! she doesn’t love him. and it would be so easy for the narrative to say ~oh look at this selfish girl she has a handsome titled good man ready to marry her she’s so SELFISH for wanting passion and true love, so naive~ (see fuckboys: i’m so nice and handsome why doesn’t she love me she’s horrible) instead the narrative presents her not marrying him as a perfectly valid choice and one the viewer sides with her on. the narrative supports her choice and makes it clear it was the right decision. ADDITIONALLY, the solution presented to fix the arranged marriage problem is to DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY. like???? don’t fuck with me this movie is perfect

2. literally the other main conflict is the love interest. he’s essentially a conman trying to convince mia to fall passionately in love with him so he can steal the throne. but along the way… he falls in love with her. THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT OF THREE THOUSAND FANFICTIONS PEOPLE

3. speaking of fanfiction…this movie is one. like, i’m not even joking. the first princess diaries movie essentially compiled the first 3 books into a movie, but the sequel wasn’t based on the books at all. disney just pulled something out of their asses and was like “this will make the fangirls happy”

4. at the beginning of the movie mia graduates from princeton’s woodrow wilson school of international affairs… literally one of the best international studies programs on the planet.. then she’s flown to a castle…where she’s a princess..and has hot men falling all over her…and wears ballgowns…like…mia is such a mary sue but somehow the movie manages to avoid making her one AT ALL

5. also holy shit??! mia doesn’t just stand around looking pretty as a princess.. she’s clearly really smart and genuinely cares about the people of genovia and does her best to serve them well even to it’s hard work… like damn mia is fucking committed to being a good queen she’s not just a princess because castles make good backdrops for romances

6. the queen/joe YAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS u fucking know u shipped that shit

7. THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT FUCKING THE PATRIARCHY. MIA IS PORTRAYED AS KIND AND SENSITIVE BUT THAT ADDS TO HER APPEAL AS A RULER NOT DETRACTS FROM IT. AT THE END OF THE MOVIE SHE’S LIKE “fuck these rules written by old white men, i’m gonna make my own less sexist rules” AND THEN SHE FUCKING DOES?!? SHE FUCKING CALLS OUT THE SEXISM OF THE LAWS AND THEN CHANGES THEM. HELLO WOMEN IN PARLIAMENT! GOODBYE BOYS CLUBS! A WOMAN IS FULLY CAPABLE OF RULING ON HER OWN WITHOUT A MAN AND SHE FUCKING DRILLS THAT INTO THEIR GODDAMN HEADS

8. chris pine. what a hot piece of ass amiright

9. the number of times something fucking bizarre happens to mia and she theoretically looks into the camera like she’s on the office is comedic gold honestly. the maids?? flirting with her arranged husband?? climbing out a window?? the fAKE LEG!? mia is just trying to live her life but the universe keeps fucking it up. i feel u mia. 

in sum i have n o idea how the fuck this movie got made but goddamn is it not god’s gift to man

7

Let’s talk about Whitney Houston the conduit.

When I say I want to be a conduit of opportunity, Whitney Elizabeth Houston is one of the gold standards to me of creating and opening doors for other performers.

This is the woman who declined performing the role of Cinderella as was originally offered, promoting Brandy for the role in her place. The woman who could have done another fire solo soundtrack for Waiting To Exhale, but brought on over fourteen additional artists to perform tracks (many of which became hits and quiet storm staples). As a filmmaker she produced The Princess Diaries films, the Sparkle remake, and - yes, hunty - Cheetah Girls 1&2. #strutlikeyoumeanit

In 1999 she helped Mary J. Blige’s explosion into the mainstream stratosphere by bringing her onstage as a special guest during Vh1 Divas Live ‘99 - still a record-breaking broadcast that is a large reason Mary became a household name outside of the hip hop and R&B audience. In the studio and on stages she would pass the mic to Monica, Kelly Price, Karen Clark Sheard, and others, an unabashed fan of vocals and technique.

This was a woman who loved being a woman, who loved being Black, and, despite mounting obstacles in her personal life, still promoted quality entertainers and produced quality content that showed positive images of other women and other Black people AND other Black women. Who can forget Raven-Symoné (back when we didn’t have the problems we do now) dropping and posing in heels and skintights while weighing more than her Cheetah peers and the film allowed her to be thought of as driven, desirable and accessible as a contemporary lead who was not Hollywood conventional - something we didn’t really get again until Annalise Keating showed up on our screens two years ago.

Too often she’s been reduced to her voice or her issues. Here’s to just another facet of an American Black Diamond. Here’s to Whitney the conduit. Black history is world history. Salute.