gif: pirates

When I was a very small child, my mom used to bury coins in my sandbox, leave huge boot prints in the sand, and tell me pirates had come in the night and buried treasure. I would be out there happily for hours, with my little sieve, and my mom got a quiet morning to herself for the price of a handful of pennies.

I was always kind of skeptical about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, because visiting every kid in the world did not seem reasonable. But the pirates only visited me, so they were probably real.

So that’s the story of how I ended up being an archaeologist. How about you?

Today is my 30th birthday. I thought at one point I was going to stay on trend and draw another symbol of my depression, but changed my mind and thought that perhaps I might like to give myself something positive instead.

Here’s to life being an adventure I guess…. anyway here’s some gay pirates. A couple of salty dogs (and yes Grantaire is getting a premature grey streak.) Few more pirates here.

anonymous asked:

Any pirate prompts? Like where a woman is a cptain

1) “What is this crap? It’s bad luck to have a woman on board.”
The captain feigned horror. “Oh god, you should have said so. I would never have forced you to suffer such a thing if I knew!” She looked to her crew and smiled. “Toss the poor bastard into the sea so he’s not tainted by femininity.”

2) “I was captured by these awful pirates,” she sobbed to the navy crew. Thinking fast - not about to lose this battle, or let her crew be hanged.
“It’s alright,” the naval captain said. He wrapped an arm around her. “You’re safe now. They’re never going to hurt you again.”
Suffice to say, she dined with the captain, nicked his keys, slit the crew’s throats while they were sleeping, and took the ship for her fleet. All in a day’s work. 

3) “You can’t be a pirate!” The lord’s daughter said in horror. “You saved me!”
“Darling,” she sauntered across her deck. “I acquired you. If you want to go back, I’ll ransom you for a pretty price. If you don’t-” she turned and raised her brows. “Change and welcome to the crew. You can start by scrubbing the deck.” 

PS: The majority of my prompts are gender neutral, if you want more pirate prompts!

I just rewatched Pirates of the Caribbean and decided to look up the ‘Pirate Code’

And I found a set of rules made by Black Bart (one of the most famous Pirates ever) to keep the ship and her crew from falling apart and they are the most un-pirate like rules ever:

(Taken from A General History of the Pyrates, 1724)

I. Every man has a vote in affairs of moment; has equal title to the fresh provisions, or strong liquors, at any time seized, and may use them at pleasure, unless a scarcity makes it necessary, for the good of all, to vote a retrenchment.

(Translation: The ship is a democracy, one man one vote. Also, everyone is free to the alcohol and food on board except when there are rations)

II. Every man to be called fairly in turn, by list, on board of prizes because, (over and above their proper share) they were on these occasions allowed a shift of clothes: but if they defrauded the company to the value of a dollar in plate, jewels, or money, marooning was their punishment. If the robbery was only betwixt one another, they contented themselves with slitting the ears and nose of him that was guilty, and set him on shore, not in an uninhabited place, but somewhere, where he was sure to encounter hardships.

(Translation: You can buy new clothes and stuff when we pay you your share, but if you steal from the ship’s treasure we’ll leave you to die on an island (one pistol shot and all that). If you steal from someone else, they’re allowed to cut bits off you.)

III. No person to game at cards or dice for money.

(Translation: No gambling.)

IV. The lights and candles to be put out at eight o’clock at night: if any of the crew, after that hour still remained inclined for drinking, they were to do it on the open deck.

(Translation: Lights out at 8pm. If anyone wants to stay awake, you can go up top; some people are trying to sleep.)

V. To keep their piece, pistols, and cutlass clean and fit for service.

(Translation: Have a little pride in your appearance boys. You’re pirates for God’s sake…)

VI. No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man were to be found seducing any of the latter sex, and carried her to sea, disguised, he was to suffer death.

(Translation: No women on board to distract the very lonely male crew who’ve been at sea for a long time. Note: Wives did sometimes join their husbands. And Women did end up disguising themselves and becoming pirates.)

VII. To desert the ship or their quarters in battle, was punished with death or marooning.

(Translation: Traitors and deserters will get thrown off the ship, sometimes with their blood inside their bodies)

VIII. No striking one another on board, but every man’s quarrels to be ended on shore, at sword and pistol.

(Translation: No fighting. If you do, take it outside (so to speak).)

IX. No man to talk of breaking up their way of living, till each had shared one thousand pounds. If in order to this, any man should lose a limb, or become a cripple in their service, he was to have eight hundred dollars, out of the public stock, and for lesser hurts, proportionately.

(Translation: You can’t leave the ship til you have helped plunder £1000. If you lost a limb or were badly hurt you were given £800.)

X. The Captain and Quartermaster to receive two shares of a prize: the master, boatswain, and gunner, one share and a half, and other officers one and quarter.

(Translation: Everyone is paid proportionately to their rank.)

XI. The musicians to have rest on the Sabbath Day, but the other six days and nights, none without special favor.

(Translation: Musicians get Sundays off.)

I was thinking about pirates.

Enjolras is the captain of a crew of social justice pirates (a Robin Hood kinda thing). Grantaire is the captain of a crew of bounty hunters (shh just roll with it) hired to take them down.

He keeps letting them scape on purpose because their captain is so cute.

Literally every member of each crew is pining over a member of the other crew.

anonymous asked:

Your writing is amazing! Could we have some more pirate prompts please?

1) The pirate startled to their feet as the cell door burst open, ready to make it as difficult for the bastard’s to drag him to the executioner’s block as possible. 
“Easy,” said the other person. “It would be awkward if you murdered the only person trying to save your life.” 

2) “You want to hire me?” The pirate raised their brows across the tavern table, rather bemused by this naval officer tracking them down to a port like this. “Tut tut, isn’t there a code against conspiring with pirates?” The pirate let their gaze trail over their naval office, imagining the kind of conspiracies they could get up to. 
The officer flushed. “Will you take the job or not?”
“You seem awful sure I won’t just betray you and slit your throat.” 
“No. Just desperate, captain.” 
“Oh, I do like it when you call me captain. Do it again when you beg me to help you with your little voyage.”

3) “Well, you’re an odd fish to catch.” 
The protagonist spluttered, rather busy vomiting up sea water, still half tangled in the net they’d been fished up in. They glanced up, only to freeze at the sight of black sails. It wasn’t exactly the saviours they had expected. 
“What the hell you doing in the middle of the sea?” 
They scrambled backwards, panicked, and only suceeding in getting themselves more tangled up. “Just put me back.”
“Into the ocean?” one of the pirate’s - the captain - purred. “If you’re that eager to die, you could just ask nicely, darling. I can do that for you just fine too. But I believe my man asked you a question.” They stepped forward, eyes gleaming, placing the tip of their blade to the protagonist’s throat to still them. “What is a pretty, not dead thing like you doing floating in the middle of the ocean?”