april, you are the most awesome person i have ever known in my entire life. i vow to protect you. from danger. and i don’t care if i have to fight an ultimate fighter, or a bear, or him. you’re mom. i would take them down. i’m getting mad right now even telling you. i wanna spend the rest of my life, every minute with you, and i am the luckiest man in the galaxy.
Ben told you to finish the website, and if you don’t do it, I swear to God I’m going to murder you in your sleep. I know where you live – fourteenth street, right? (Getting quieter and quieter) I’m going to get a melon baller and scoop your eyes out and eat them and your Congressman uncle is going to have to buy you a dog to drag your eyeless face around. Do you understand me? (Slowly kisses him on the nose, then slaps him.) Do it.