gif: driving lessons

beginner driver thoughts
  • me: omg its moving. the car is moving.
  • me: i don't put my right on the gas and left on the brake?
  • me: how does the wheel even work? what???
  • me: 5 mph! wheeee
  • me: 10!! 20 mph!!! it feels so fast when i'm the one driving
  • me: it's so fun driving in an empty lot
  • me: holy shit sorry i thought the gas was the brake haha
  • me: good thing there's no cars because i would have hit them
  • me: how do you turn and then continue driving straight?
  • me: i hate turning right
  • me: PARKING IS SO HARD. HOW DO YOU STAY IN THE LINES??
  • me: if there were cars in this lot, i'd hit them all
  • me: i can't park normally, how will i parallel park?? ohgod
  • me: how am i going to survive driving on the real roads?
  • me: or the freeway????
  • me: maybe i'll just stick to public transportation for life
  • me: how do you look at all the mirrors and drive?
  • me: reversing is so weird!!
  • me: shit almost hit that pole
10

“Ask yourselves this question, How is a person truly free until they can think and act for themselves? God gave us free will so that we could choose his love. You see, he wanted us to understand our commitment, to be grown-up about it. If you say to me, ‘Am I a Christian?’ I say to you, ‘If you strive to do good, then you’re a Christian.’ …If you don’t seek to hurt or betray others, you’re a Christian. If you’re true to yourself and treat others as you’d have them treat you, you’re a Christian. The more a person parades their Christianity for the benefit of others, he less I’m inclined to trust the Christianity they claim to bring. God tells us true faith is the freedom to choose truth. Now, how you express that, the way, the manner, the means at your disposal, these things are of no consequence, be you Christian or atheist, unless in your heart you are true.”

Driving Lessons (2006)

anonymous asked:

28. Dragon Queen.

Regina turns in the passenger seat and goes over the levers and dials again. Then she sits back, her white knuckles hidden beneath her black gloves. 

“I know moving your feet and your hands at the same time seems a little strange,” she starts, smiling as if that makes it all easier. “Surely it’s not that different from flying?”

Bless her foolish heart for thinking controlling this contraption is anything like flying. Perhaps someday she’ll finally agree to learn the shape-changing spell and they can reverse the lesson. 

“It’s very different,” Maleficent says, stroking the gear shift. “But since it means so means so much to you.” She pushes down the left lever with her foot, the clutch (which is an odd term, as no eggs are involved), then she shoves down the gas and turns the key. 

The poor Mercedes makes a shrieking sound like a dying goat and bucks back and forth before it dies. 

Regina shuts her eyes and shakes her head. “Not quite. Try again.”

“Again?” Mal lets go of the key. “Surely the beast has suffered enough.”

“I have a year before I’ll have Henry here and I’d rather work out all my jitters with you, thank you,” she answers with a sigh. “If I snap at you, you’ll recover.”

“You don’t think my fragile ego is wrapped up in my ability to control this thing?”

Regina really smiles now, bright and amused. “Somehow I doubt it.” 

“What about my sense of camaraderie with the Mercedes?” 

“Just try again.”