I have days when I just don’t feel like myself. I reach inside, and I’m just not there. And it scares me, each time, that I wont come back. What’s left of me doesn’t want to live my life. And if I don’t come back, I feel like I wont have a future.
Emotional numbness is where we experience mild to severe feelings of detachment – so it’s hard for us to access normal feelings any more. This includes both negative and positive emotions as you can’t decide to shut just one feeling off. Common causes of emotional numbness include different stresses or traumas … from receiving bad news … to being in an accident … to recovering from the death of someone close … to a relationship breakup … to feeling deeply humiliated or ashamed. So how do you overcome emotional numbness and live with emotional integrity again?
1. The first thing to do is to choose to respect and allow all emotions – no matter what they are. Also, try and grasp the fact that suppressing your emotions will likely lead to heartache and problems later on (as they’ll possibly resurface at inappropriate times.)
2. Try to understand that feelings and actions are two very different, and unrelated, things. That is, you can still feel angry without becoming violent – so don’t assume your feelings will affect your actions, too.
3. Try to figure out the message behind intense emotions. Are you angry because you’ve been hurt, used or abused? Are you sad because deep down you feel that you’ll never find true love - as you can’t believe that anyone will love you for yourself?
4. Take that risk – and find the courage to ask someone for help. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know that there are those who genuinely love you like – like a true and caring friend. The important thing is not to try and isolate yourself, and to make the extra effort to prioritise self-care. You need other people to help you work through this.
5. Seek professional help if the symptoms persist. There are excellent counsellors and therapists out there who have the training and skills to help you to get free – so you can live a more fulfilling and normal, healthy life.
6. Be patient within yourself. It’s likely to take time – as you will need to learn to trust, and take some barriers down, so you can be yourself again (and that is often hard to do when you’ve experience hurt and pain).
I just want to get lost for a while. Drive into the woods… no destination in mind. No watch, no desire to know what time or day it is. No phone. Just me and the road… and a couple good books. I want to feel the freedom from detachment, expectations, and society…
Some beings will walk with you for the duration of this bodily existence, up to the very end. Some will come with bright promises, bright lights, but they fade quickly. Others come, they don’t look like they will go very far, but they are marathon runners; they’re there with you all the time. You cannot determine this… Somehow in the flow of your own unique river, you will see that everything is as it should be.
Aquarius’s detachment does not mean a lack of emotions. They are detached, apart from their emotions and this causes issues in processing them. They usually feel pain much later than others if something bad has happened and/or they also struggle to understand what they are feeling.
This detachment also leads them to fear intimacy many times and one-on-one interactions and relationships.
Aquarius is associated with the collective and understands how groups work and feels more comfortable within a group system.
Aquarius, associated with the unconventional might also interpret emotions differently than others.
Aquarius is learning to be human, accepting their individuality, but also becoming in tune with the collective.
In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty… in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.
“Cultivating spiritual awareness is an empowering act of self-love that helps us to remain deeply rooted in our wakefulness. Remaining centered in present-moment-awareness will free you from the manipulative, hypnotic trance of the ego-matrix system (mass consumerism, status quo, power and social conformity).” -Anon I mus (Spiritually Anonymous)
My guru always said that detachment does not mean that you go into a depression or holding your hands and becoming sad. All that is needed is simply that you be alert about this universe, this world and about your own physical body, that one day this has to go. When it has to go, then be prepared to just accept. That is all the alertness of detachment that is required. If we cannot have this detachment, we cannot have the peace. That’s what every teaching says.
For once, relax a little and simply become an audience to your mind’s play. Just look with a little detachment. Observe for a bit, but don’t spend too long in that cinema. Then at some point, you may just come to recognise that you have watched the show many times before, and so there is no longer a need to spend any more time and money there. You will forget about it entirely. And quite unexpectedly, you may find yourself walking along a path of unchanging joy, light and wisdom.