See, of everyone who called, very few said “We believe in you.” The overwhelming choice said I’m just a boy inside a voice and if that’s true, is it true, if it’s true, then what the fuck have I been doing the last six years? How did I end up here? How did I find love and conquer all of my fears? See, I made it out. Out from under the sun. And the truth is that I feel better because I’ve forgiven everyone.
Now I’m not scared, of a sound, or the states, or the stages. I’m not scared I’ve got friends, took my call, came courageous.
Now I feel like I am home.
One more thing, I keep having this dream, where I’m standing on a mountain looking out, on the street I can hear kids in low-income housing singing “We’re through with causing a scene”, I don’t know what it means But I too, am through with causing a scene.
I’m not sure if everyone is as self referential as I am, as Nate is, as Adam is (yeah I’m sorta alluding to Nate Ruess and Adam Duritz and I being on a first name basis). It feels like a burden, because you have to remember. Nate has to call back ‘causing a scene’, Out of the desert and into the sun. If you hadn’t been listening since the first The Format LP you wouldn’t get that. You wouldn’t get half of this, half of the stuff from this record or the “popular one” that came last year. But the problem with remembering is, maybe, knowing the way back. Sometimes we don’t want to know the way back. We’d prefer to be lost in the future. I don’t know. It means you have to stay present, and in touch with with was. Adam singing “Rain King” on 2011’s August & Everything After – Live At Town Hall is a great example of this. The old, old song and in the middle he’s present enough to maybe insert “Thunder Road” into the middle. He keeps all those old feelings right on the tip of where he is. Unless otherwise he’s expertly turned everything off just to preform but I doubt it. How do I even say what I’m trying to say? I don’t know, really. I tweeted earlier tonight that I fell like I’ve been in this same Taco Bell drive thru my whole life. That’s not really hyperbole, really.
That line: “We’ve got one last chance to make it real” Thunder Road. I feel like, man, I’ve got one last chance, and if only I could articulate what I feel, what I want, what I need, what I have to offer, what I can understand then maybe, we all come from a town full of losers, but I’m probably not pulling out of here to win. I just keep thinking if I could articulate what it is I want and need and all that shit then I could maybe speak it into being and take hold of it. I deserve a little more, maybe.