Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night, startled by something. Might be his dreams, might not. He didn’t remember enough of them to tell.
What he remembered of them usually went like this:
He woke up alone. Statics filled the air. The streets buzzed. The punches never came, and he just walked the streets until he was on the ground, in front of an alleyway. The dusty lamppost stood between him and the entrance. The light flickered the way usual household light bulbs did, but slower.
Then he woke up, alone, the newest podcast playing on loop in his ears. The light was always off.
version of me that you made up was a better person than you were
all the vile, horrible things
you drew about me (where i was weirdly sexualized, domineering and
controlling my fiancée like a dog, spitting and screaming at you
while you ‘defended’ my partner and covered her ears- you even drew
me dead, in the same shirt i was wearing when we met, mutilated. really?) the pictures meant to demean me and my relationship
because of your petty jealousy, are now nothing more than small
friendly reminders that i’m not like that. i’m not the person you
tried to turn me into, despite demonizing me (publicly and privately)
for months on end, i had your
vicious drawings rubbed in my face, and i couldn’t do anything to
fight back because you had already done so much damage. i was too
scared to stand up for myself and my relationship after you tore away
all possible support from under my feet. we all made mistakes during
those years, but it’s hard to believe that the things you posted with
'I’ll kill you’ 'I hate her’ 'Die’ were about anyone but me and
everything you thought i did wrong.
despite how much you wanted
me to fail, i’m happy, and i’m getting through life without you. here i am, still living, creating, and loving myself, my
fiancée, and my friends. my
biggest revenge! haha
this is something i’ve wanted
to talk about openly about for a long time, but it’s hard recovering
from someone who tried so hard to tear you down, who got so much
pleasure from hurting you for so long; but it’s funny– they had to
lie and deceive others to try and get them away from me, and all they
had to do was be themselves to be seen for what they were :^3