giant cockroaches

A family doesn’t have to be a mom, a dad, and kids

A family can be a trash-hu(l)(n)k husband, a metal husband, a son-husband who’s also a giant cockroach who lives in a quantum state and may or may not exist, a ghost son, a son you just adopted bc he happened to be in the pocket heaven dimension you created, 998 coffee tin sons, and you; the Final Pam Who Death Forgot

Is it a trilobite back from extinction—or is it a very large cockroach? Neither. These giant isopods (Bathynomus giganteus) are crustaceans and related to decapods like shrimp and crabs as well as to pill bugs. They rule the deep, chilly waters of the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, and are considered a good example of deep-sea gigantism—a phenomenon where invertebrates in deep waters are much larger than their shallow-water relatives. This species can grow to be over 16 inches long and have compound eyes with over 4,000 individual facets, making them extremely sensitive to fast movements in dark waters.  
Photo: Orin Zebest

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I let Romeo explore my desk, and he would not completely let go of my hand the whole time. Roaches are deeply unsettled by open, unnaturally flat spaces, so I’m thinking millipedes probably feel the same way.

i had to battle this giant ass cockroach today that had the AUDACITY of getting in my bathroom and running LAPS around the walls like some kind of early cycling olympics i didn’t know my bathroom previously won and is now hosting, this big-ass, 24-hours-in-the-gym, pumping-iron-like-crazy, protein-shakes-after-every-meal ass-clown cockroach that could apparently fucking FLY (and you don’t want to know how i had the pleasure of finding that out), this DUDEBRO of the underworld that could evade my every move and wouldn’t die no matter what i did, and the conclusion i arrived at after i prevailed upon this 1v1 irl pvp was: i’d be such a shitty superhero. such an absolutely useless superhero. no, fuck that. not even a superhero, it’s the sidekicks that have to deal with all the shit while the big guys punch it out away from the cockroaches. what if my mentor had a villain called Insectman? Roachman. Superroach. what the fuck? what the fuck? let him bring his apocalypse plans to fruition, let the world burn if that’s what it takes. i’m weak. i’m so gdamn WEAK

Why is there no fandom?

Why is there no fandom for The Underland Chronicles? It’s my favorite book series of all time, but no one has read it!

If you don’t know what it is (which most people won’t) it’s a series of books following Gregor and his two year old sister, Boots, as they fall through a grate in their laundry room in New York, and end up in The Underland.

The Underland is a world filled with giant creatures, rats, cockroaches, spiders, bats, and other animals. Humans live there as well, except they are not giant like all the other inhabitants, but they do have violet eyes, white (or very pale) skin, and silver hair. They have a series of prophecies about an Overland (Overland = our world) warrior, who will save them from their enemy. Of course, they think this “warrior” is Gregor, so he’s off on a quest, (but he’s really only going to find his dad who disappeared several years before).

And, I know what you’re thinking “Oh, great, another one of those stories” I agree that the plot line is starting to become overused, but trust me, this is a unique story.

Reasons to read:

1. Gregor brings his two year old sister on a quest in which they will most likely die

2. Some of the characters are giant rats, bats, cockroaches, spiders, and mice,

3. rootbeer can save lives

4. well-written prophecies

5. people making questionable actions

6. Ripred

7. This book was written by Susan Collins, but it is nothing like The Hunger Games

8. In depth characters

9. A plot that actually has layers to it

10. good development, motivation, interactions

11. Questionable actions from the “good” side

12. Ripred. He remains one of my favorite characters of all time.


Anyway, I have no clue where the fandom is, but it needs to exist.

anonymous asked:

Steve gets invited to the annual reunion the USO showgirls have.

There are only nine of them left, not including Steve. He’d been closest to Judy, a petite woman who’d had long dark curls back when they’d met. She’s now even smaller, the top of her head level just with Steve’s sternum, but as much of a card as she’d ever been.

When Steve arrives at Rita’s house early with a bouquet of daffodils, Judy trips him with her cane as he comes in. “Gotcha,” she says, and winks at Steve.

“Hi, Judy,” he replies, leaning down and kissing her cheek. “Been a while, huh?”

“Three months, two weeks, and four days, to be exact. You missed my Christmas party.”

“Sorry.” Steve’s the only one tall enough to get a vase out from above the fridge, so he goes to get one and starts filling it with water.

“What was it that time?” Judy asks. “Was it the giant cockroaches, or the turtle that walked like a man?”

“Classified.”

Judy narrows her eyes at him. “International classified, or are we talking crisis-averted bio-agents?”

Steve laughs. “Classified, Jude. How are Danny and Sarah-Jean?”

“They’re teenagers,” Judy snorts, waving a hand. She probably hasn’t seen her grandchildren since Christmas, either. For that derision, Steve knows she’s proud of them; in another hour she’ll be telling him all about Danny’s clarinet recitals and Sarah-Jean’s soccer games. But she’s got that glint in her eye like she’s got something else to bring up with him. “How’s that Sam? Why didn’t you bring him? I like him better than you.”

“He’s laid up,” Steve tells her, placing the daffodils on the counter and turning them so their most attractive side faces Judy. “Some kind of flu, or something. Not quite bad enough that I needed to keep an eye on him, but bad enough.”

“I knew it!” Judy says, throwing up her hands and then pulling her scarf up so it covers her nose and mouth. “Bio-agents! We’re all going to die!” She shakes her fist at him, her eyes crinkled up in laughter over the scarf. “Don’t you come near me. You’re probably an incubator!”

Laughing, Steve walks around the island and wraps an arm around her, kissing the top of her head. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you if you get the alien flu.”

Waking up to a crinkly noise not once not twice but three times in complete darkness knowing there’s some kind of creature in your room is the most terrifying thing in the world. Turning on a flash light trying to find it and realizing it is a giant cockroach makes it even scarier. Those fuckers can fly. Also realizing I have to find something to kill it with without taking my eyes off of it otherwise it’ll probably crawl on me while I’m sleeping makes my heart drop. But I did it. I can now say I didn’t let fear take over and I killed a cockroach without needing my mom to do it. I’m officially an adult now.

It’s May 18th 2017

Here’s a good Dan song remix to listen to today: Endless 2 by Em-One

Here’s a good Grumps episode to watch today:
Batman: Batman Does Things - Part 2

Here’s a cool Dan fact for you today:
While living in Philly, Dan befriended a giant cockroach that lived in the hallway outside of his apartment. When his landlord said he got an exterminator, Dan captured the cockroach and drove it away to safety. His name was Kevin, loved by all.

Here’s a good picture of Dan to look at today:

anonymous asked:

So this is a story about my friend. We were sitting at lunch and my friend starts freaking out and pointing under the table, I look under the table only to find a giant ass cockroach crawling around. Before ya know it the whole lunch table is freaking the fuck out, our algebra 1 teacher comes over and says "calm down! Don't hurt bugs they're our friends!" And my friend screams at her "BITCH ROACHES ARENT FRIENDS" she got sent to the office and we didn't hear from her for the rest of the day.

damn

[Fabelo’s] studio at the back of the house is crammed with half-finished canvasses and assorted sculptures that have come home from exhibitions. It is hard not to miss the giant resin cockroaches with human heads on a terrace outside. The grotesque creatures were until recently attached to the façade of an art museum in Havana.

I know there are obviously exceptions and some people think they are also freaky or whatever, but it’s weird how the general populations fear and disgust for arthopods mostly just extends to ones that live on land, while Decapod crustaceans are mostly seen in a neutral light anywhere from “they are kinda gross” to “they can be cute”.

Mostly we just look at them and think they look tastey. If we didn’t eat them there would be a lot more memes on here about how Lobsters are terrifying giant cockroach-scorpions and how they are a reason why we refuse to go into the ocean

Blue Kiss

Pairing:  Hoseok x Reader
Summary: A New Year’s kiss with your best friend changes everything. 80′s AU.
Genre: mostly fluff, slight angst 
A/N: Warning, lots of terrible 80′s slang and excessive use of the word ‘like’. Also each month links to an amazing 80s jam!! Enjoy!
Word Count: 20k+

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The thing about millipedes is that they’re actually really strong. I’ve tried to hold Romeo’s head in place a few times in order to get a good picture, but he ends up using his little snoot to roll himself out of the way with great force.