giant boss

Suddenly.. BADGERS!

The Druid had just summoned eight giant badgers into a boss fight.

Me: Fear. The. Hufflepuffs!

DM: You know what, I’m not even gonna roll for this. They get average everything.

Two minutes later.
DM: Goddamnit [Druid], your badgers haven’t missed any of these.

All of us: *Start singing the badger song*

DM: [Druid], you are never allowed to take a turn again.


miscellaneous raz doodles from tonight 👌

The Astral is an MMO

Or at least, it’s a lot like an MMO.

Some people can’t even figure out how to log on, let alone afford to pay the subscription. Sometimes their computers are too old or their graphics card isn’t right, which makes the image blurry and the animation choppy and it crashes every couple of minutes.

Most people start out at level one, and they have to grind through the really boring story stuff.  Lots of times these people are confused and misled, but also amazed by the open world, and they run around a lot without getting anything done.  Many of those people will level up for a while without ever making any friends or joining any guilds, which is a totally perfect and valid way to play.

Some people have one of those instant level 99 tokens, and they level up instantly, and are kind of overwhelmed by how difficult the game was right off the bat.  Sometimes those people decide it’s in their best interest to quit now before they stress themselves out, and that’s okay.

Some people get in the game and they already have friends who are in pretty high-ranking guilds, so they’re pulled into giant awesome boss fights.  And man, are the boss fights awesome.  They play their role naturally and have a really great and fun time doing it.  Everyone in the guild really feels how fun and exciting it is, and the people watching them stream the game are also pretty excited, even if they’re a bit removed from the situation.

And the next day, when they’re talking to their IRL friends and they say, “Oh man, killing Archimonde last night was so cool,” their guild friends will totally relate, and agree with them!  But their IRL friends, who have never touched an MMO, will just kind of say, “Yeah, that sounds pretty cool,” even though they can’t relate at all.  They feel a little left out and almost like they’re expected to play the MMO, even though they can’t really commit the time to learn how to play.

And meanwhile, there are thousands of other players who have beaten the same bosses, played the same games, earned the same trinkets, and had guilds of their own.  Some people have explored most of the game without ever beating a boss.  Some people spend their time on the market earning gold. Some people play on a trackpad on their laptop and some people own a Razor Naga mouse.  And some people never even pick up the game at all.

And all of this is totally and completely valid.

Just because you’re not beating the biggest baddest boss in the game once a week, doesn’t mean your astral travel is less cool or less valid.  Do what makes you feel good, and what your abilities allow for, and don’t feel like you have to meet any extra expectations to have a good time.

First day nerves.

day five of Malec week  - non supernatural Au

Alec Lightwood said a silent prayer that his nerves wouldn’t get the best of him as he got off the elevator and into the offices of the advertising agency that he was about to have his first day of work with.

He went up to the high reception desk, it was all polished wood and stainless steel and told them who he was. The pretty young girl with a thick mane of long red hair directed him to a waiting area and he sat down on a hard-black leather sofa, probably designed to keep people from getting too comfortable.  The view from the floor to ceiling windows was spectacular, a complete vista of the bustling city below.

“Mr Lightwood, Mr Bane will see you now, please follow me.” Alec got up, pushing his dark framed glasses back up his nose and followed the pretty redheaded receptionist up a hall way to his right. As they walked, Alec couldn’t help but notice the size of the heels on the girl’s shoes as the clicked on the tiled floor. He was so glad that he wasn’t female and have to deal with such seemingly impossible tasks such as walking on high heels. He could be so uncoordinated at times, he’s probably break his neck if he’d have to of done it.

They stopped at a set of clouded glass double doors, a stylized letter ‘B’ etched in the glass. The girl knock softly before opening the door and walking through. Alec took a deep breath as he heard her tell the boss that he was here. She opened the door wider and waved him through.

Alec squared his shoulders and tried to seem as confident as possible before he entered the office.

A large desk with a glass top sat in front of the same huge windows as the reception area. Aa high backed office chair was turned backwards behind it and he could hear a deep male voice talking from behind it. He took the opportunity to look around. The office seemed bigger than his own apartment. There were shelves with various expensive looking glass ware and figurines on them and the white walls had antique advertising posters on them. There was even a pair of white leather sofas and a glass coffee table to one side. A door stood slightly ajar on one side of the room where a glimpse of tiled floor showed through which looked like a bathroom. Alec snapped back to reality when he heard the man behind the chair finish off his conversation. Here we go, he thought and took in a deep breath.

The chair spun around and the man occupying it was the hottest guy Alec had ever seen in his life. He really had to fight with himself to maintain control of himself. Black hair that was cut very short at the side of his head was longer on the top and fell over one side of his brow. His skin was a light mocha and its smooth surface made Alec’s fingers itch to feel it beneath his fingertips. His eyes were a deep enough brown that the pupils weren’t visible from where he was standing and his small nose and perfect mouth completed his handsome face. He wore a suit that was perfectly tailored for him and Alec knew it would of cost more than he made in a month. He stood up and buttoned the jacket with long elegant fingers which were adorned with several rings.  He came around from behind the desk to greet him. He seemed to move his tall frame with a fluid motion of a dancer. He smiled, curving those fabulous lips up at the corners and stuck out a hand.

“Alec Lightwood? Magnus Bane. Welcome to the company.” Alec took his hand in his own. He almost lost control when he felt the soft skin against his. He’d been so right about that.

“Thank you, Mr Bane. I’m happy to be here.” He said, hoping his voice didn’t betray the way he felt inside. Now he was this he could take in the smell of his exotic aftershave or cologne, it made his already racing heart beat even faster.

Those bottomless brown eyes seemed to bore into him and Alec prayed he wouldn’t blush. Did the man always look at new employees like that?

“Let me show you to your office and you can get started then. And please, call me Magnus.” He walked to the door and pulled it open waving Alec through and the headed back up the hallway and back through the reception area to another hall way. Alec noticed heads turning as they went. Not that he could blame them Magnus bane was hard to miss.

The stopped at the third door on the left-hand side and Magnus opened it for him. The room held a desk, computer and a set of shelves. A sloped drawing board sat to the left of the desk and faced a large window. Wow, he was going to have a view.

“I hope you find everything to your liking. I’ll get our office manager to come in and give you all the details you’ll need and show you around the rest of the office. I hope you’ll be happy with us. I’ve heard great things about you.” Magnus told him.

That’s very kind of you, thanks I’m sure I’ll have everything I need.” Alec pushed his glasses back up his nose again. He could have sworn he saw a small smirk tilt his lips before he headed for the door. He paused in the hallway and turned back to face him.

“I hope to see you around, Alexander.” He said before disappearing back up the hall way.

Alec fell into his chair and put a hand over his chest feeling the rapid thump of his heart. Wow, that was totally unexpected. It was going to make things difficult for him to be the new guy and have a giant crush on the boss.

Alec settled in to his work and was pleased to be able to immerse himself in it so it left very little time for his thought to stray to the exceptional Magnus Bane.

Just before lunch, Alec had gathered a pile of papers he needed to copy and he scooped them up from his desk and headed for the door, rifling through them as he went. He collided with a hard surface that also smelt very familiar. His head flew up to see Magnus Bane only an inch in front of him. His paperwork fell to the floor in a flurry of paper, clouding the floor. He felt like a deer caught in a set of headlights, dazed and temporarily rendered immobile. God, why did the man have to smell so damn good? He had little choice but to look directly into his eyes and he thought he saw something flicker in them. Alec realised that magnus had moved his face slightly closer to him and he felt a warm heat rising from deep with in him. Holy shit! Was this really happening?

Then he made the mistake of blinking and Magnus seemed to snap out of it and pull back. Alec dropped to his knees, frantically gathering his paperwork. He tilted his head up to look up at his boss. For a few seconds, Alec saw the man look down at him with gaze that was pure sin. His blood ran cold through his veins. sweet Jesus, had he really seem that?

“I’m so sorry Mr Bane. I should have been looking where I was going.” He stuttered and he slowly stood back up clutching the shambled papers to his chest.

“That’s fine, Alexander, and please call me Magnus. How are things going?” he asked.

“It’s been great so far, thanks.”

“I’ll let you get back to it then. Hope to bump into you again sometime.” He said, smiling back at him. Alec’s knees wanted to give way.

“Ha-ha, yeah me too.” He laughed nervously. Magnus continued to move down the hall way and headed for the copy room. When he reached it, he closed the door behind him and dumped the papers on top of one of the machines before leaning his arms over the top and resting his head on them.

Had that really happened? Was he imagining things or did that gorgeous hunk of a man look like he was tempted to kiss him? Of all the ways he had thought his first day would go, this wasn’t even a possibility. He pulled himself together and took a couple of deep breaths before he got on with the task he had gone there for.

The afternoon passed quickly and as it got nearer to the end of his day, Alec realised he was disappointed that there had been no more chance meetings with Magnus. He straightened his desk and was turning off his computer when a knock on his door made him look up. The red headed receptionist came into his office.

“Mr Bane would like to see you before you go, Mr Lightwood.” She said and then left. OH God, here were go, he was probably going to get fired for being a  bumbling idiot and stuffing something up. Alec over looked his clothes and buttoned his suit jacket and headed up the hall way.

The office had grown quiet, most of the other employees having already gone for the day. He walked passed the reception desk and saw that even it was empty. Alec paused half way up the hall. Oh no, what if Magnus had picked up on his attraction to him and he was going to tell him it wasn’t going to work out if he felt that way? Maybe he had imagined everything from earlier that day, that it had all been just his over active imagination. He swallowed hard and headed for the two glass doors.

He knocked and heard Magnus tell him to come in. He stepped through the door and it closed behind him with a click. Magnus was leaning on the front of his desk, his butt just resting on the surface. He had taken off his jacket and was only in shirt and tie, his long legs clad in the dark material of his pants were stuck out at an angle, ankles crossed.

“Please Alexander, come in.” he encouraged and Alec walked a few more steps into the room, close enough to be able to admire those broad shoulders and the way the material of his shirt hugged his biceps. No, stop it! He had to quit that. If it didn’t get him fired now it would eventually, he was sure.

“So, how did your first day go?’ Magnus asked, slowly undoing the knot of his tie. Alec wished he would stop doing that. Why it was affecting him so much he had no idea.

“It was great, thanks. I really enjoyed it.” He said and he was dismayed to hear the slight tremor in his voice.

Magnus got up from the desk, his tie in his hand, and walked over to him. Alec felt his breath hitch and then stop completely.

“You know, when I saw your resume I had no idea how good looking you were.” He said, his voice low and deep. Wait, what? When Alec didn’t reply, he went on.

“Am I right to presume you feel something similar about me?” Magnus was now standing an inch from him. His hand came up and fingered the lapel of his jacket, his eyes capturing his full attention. Alec couldn’t think straight anymore. This was too surreal. He felt his head nodding and he automatically raised his hand to push his glasses up on his nose. Magnus took in a deep breath, closing his eyes in a slow blink.

“Do you have any idea how hot that is? But I bet you look even better without them.” He reached up and removed Alec’s glasses making him blink rapidly to refocus his eyes.

“I was right, you are. There’s something I’ve wanted to do all day, since you stepped foot into my office.” He half whispered. Alec could feel his whole body bunched up tightly, dare he ask?

“What’s that?”

“this.” Magnus plunged that beautiful mouth down on his, kissing him with a force that had Alec wanting to melt in a puddle at his feet. A hand came up behind the back of his neck, fingers digging into the skin. Alec found his own arms circling his narrow waist, feeling the firmness of his solid body below the material of his shirt. When Magnus finally raised his head, his eyes shiny with need, Alec gulped in some hard breaths. How had he not taken a breath for that long? A slow smile played across his whole face. Magnus returned his look.

“Welcome to the company, Alexander. I can tell you have a lot of promise.”  Alec have a short laugh.

“Best first day ever.” He whispered before tasting those lips once more.

Now, Breath of the Wild is a massive game. And I truly am thankful for everything we got from it. 

But you know what would have been an awesome addition? 

… A Twili-inspired area/people/Divine Beast. 

You could have a tribe that has features from both Hylian and Twili, leading into the notion that, eventually, a second means of getting to the Twilight Realm was found, you could have a Twili Champion who was a descendant of Midna, the Divine Beast could be a giant wolf, and the boss of it could be ‘Shadowblight Ganon’ with a sick scythe or something…

… I don’t know, I recently finished the last of the Divine Beast dungeons and since BotW references so many past games from the Zelda canon, these thoughts just came into my head.

Ganon isn’t a Generic Boar

I know I didn’t reblog the unpopular opinion meme, but I’m giving one.
This is something that’s been on my mind for several years regarding the Zelda series, and with BotW, I feel I should speak out on this.

This form, right here, is the worst thing to ever happen to the Demon King Ganon.

Let me explain.

This is what Ganon is meant to be. Albeit a touch Yuga-possessed.
No, I don’t mean the blue pig-man strictly, not “they changed it so it sucks” because OoT’s was fine, I mean what he really is.
Ganon is a almighty demon warlock, driven by an unbridled and unlimited hatred, mercilessly brutal in how he operates – but he is absolutely not mindless. In fact, he is devilishly clever and underhanded. His cleverness is often regarded perhaps the most dangerous thing about him.

His being a boar is not secondary, it is his “true self”. It is the emergence of his heart’s true shape brought about through the broken power of the Triforce.

Why does this make the Twilight Princess form a problem? Well, on paper, it doesn’t. However, in hindsight coupled with the circumstances of the time, it was a really bad move.

The “Dark Beast” form is understandable within the game and considering nothing else. The design and purpose is clear: portray Ganon as an evil mirror to Wolf Link. I get that, I do. And because Wolf Link was the game’s gimmick, the Wolf Link fight couldn’t be the final phase, thus nor could Ganon. 

However, the effect of this incarnation of Ganon wasn’t restricted to this entry like it should have been. With the coming Smash Bros, this was the Ganondorf used, and this was the Ganon used for his Final Smash. Okay – 2008 title, TP was the most recent, that’s fair. However, the game before this was Wind Waker, and Wind Waker had no showing of Ganon either. Within that game, the reason was that Ganondorf was a shell of his former self, like the King of Hyrule, pitiably clinging to old ambitions and glory. However, this meant we hadn’t seen a real Ganon since the N64.

Now, with Breath of the Wild, a true Ganondorf did not make an appearance as you might expect – however, when the true form of Ganon emerged, it…was just a boar again. It reinforced the precedent you see everywhere; Ganon is treated as secondary to Ganondorf because an entire generation of gamers only have exposure to Ganon as a secondary form, a dumb animal. This coupled with the Twilight Princess setting becoming the perfect “middle ground” Zelda setting to use for anything makes this appear as what should be the case.

For those of us who grew up in the SNES days and knew the villain before Ocarina hit the big time, we know that should not be the case. Ganondorf was introduced for the sake of becoming Ganon. It tied into the origin story ALttP provided.

This is why I feel the Hyrule Warriors Ganon is absolutely perfect.

They updated his classic look but did so in such a way it blended wonderfully with modern conventions. Blue pig-man? Check. But they gave him Ganondorf’s fiery mane, gave him an upright, apelike stance coupled with several of Ganondorfs garments to visually indicate intelligence. They gave him back his epic trident, the Trident of Power that we only saw hint of last in a main title with Ganon’s three-pronged swords in OoT, his signature weapon.

Not to mention, the way they gave him “gear”. By implementing the Giant Bosses’ powers in the form of grotestque semi-transformations, they not only reintroduced Ganon as he is meant to be, but they did so in a way that heavily emphasizes the “demon” aspect made far more important since Skyward Sword.

I hope this post encourages people to try and give a bit more credit to the Demon King Ganon. He most certainly is deserving of more credit than the general public gives him.