Give peace a chance...

First let me apologize for the delay in responding to the article written by Bernadette Giacomazzo. As some of you may have read on my blog, today was spent with a dear friend who suddenly lost her sister while speaking with her on the phone two days ago. I’m sure you can all understand that while responding to this as I said I would is important, my friend came first.
Earlier today, Bernadette and I engaged in a very civil, courteous conversation via Twitter. Some of you may have followed along, but for those that didn’t, let me fill you in. Last week an email claiming to be from a private investigator was sent to my former employer alleging that I had engaged in targeted harassment of Bernadette while on company time. The email said I had sent an email to Bernadette’s employer asking for her to be fired for writing an article regarding Sam and Cait. Let me state that I have not, nor would I ever, do such a thing. On my parents’ graves I did not write that email. I think doing such a thing reaches incredibly far over the line and is abhorrent. This was why I challenged Bernadette and her friend Vince DeMello, who was involved in this email being sent, about it. Both know my feelings and the facts regarding this email, so I don’t think rehashing it here serves any further purpose.
Over the course of many months it’s been clear that the relationship between myself and Bernadette has been contentious at best. At its worst, it was horrid. Today for some fortunate reason, we were able to put aside our differences and tempers and actually hear each other. Bernadette shared some very personal things, not just with me, but with the Twitterverse. I think it showed courage and strength. It gave me insight that I didn’t have before. That insight has allowed me to see that I have added to her pain and for that I am truly sorry. As Bernadette stated in her article, she has hit back hard at shippers many times, and some of us have hit just as hard in return. Myself included. We are human beings first, fans second, and while I can’t speak for anyone but myself, I know that I often forgot that. I reacted to attacks, mocking, and tattling. And while I may have felt I was doing right at the time, I now see I was part of the problem and not part of the solution. That’s not a feeling I enjoy. I doubt many of us do.
Bernadette and I reached an agreement today that we both will refrain from speaking about each other in any manner but peace. No more personal attacks, no more mocking or ridiculing the way either of us fan. Bernadette has agreed that she will allow shippers to fan the way they choose, and to let us ship Sam and Cait in peace. She is free to report about the Outlander show and Sam and Cait, or other cast members. But she will not write anymore articles discussing or defaming shippers for how they fan. Nor will she engage in or agree with anyone who does so. In short, that is off limits. I have agreed that I will refrain from attacks or mocking of non-shippers as well.
We both ask that our followers follow this example and cease these things immediately. I also ask any accounts engaging, either on Twitter or Instagram, in harassment of Sam, Cait, or anyone in their circle of friends to stop. It’s wrong and hurtful. As a gesture of goodwill, I ask that, in turn, all Twitter or Instagram accounts created to name and shame shippers be closed. This type of inflammatory online policing only serves to create dissension and contention. It serves no other purpose.
Now, I must clarify a comment made by Bernadette in her article. In her apology to myself, Sherri, Kim, and Nipuna, Bernadette stated that we are her mother’s age. Actually, we are very close in age to Bernadette. None of us are over 50. At the end of the day, all any of us wants and deserves is to feel that somehow, we matter to someone. We all have the right to be heard but we don’t always have to be screaming at one another. Sometimes we need to stop screaming so we can be heard. Sometimes we all need to be reminded that we need to give a little to gain a lot. My hope, and I think it’s Bernadette’s as well, is that we realize this and going forward, we learn to coexist with respect for each other and ourselves.

Last Anons about IG situation

I don’t want to be rude to my lovely Anons, but I don’t want to keep answering questions about this so I will put it all in one post.

1. About the selective deletions of posts on someone’s IG - I don’t know what that is all about. Personally, I would delete all of them. I haven’t looked but if it is true, I think it is sort of silly, honestly. Quite foolish on her part.

2. My take on the awful messages - absolutely appalled! It’s disgraceful and it is beyond my understanding why people would go to her IG, or BM’s IG, and worse, why celeb minions and “journalists” would get involved in stupid fandom drama. Especially those latter two, who really should know better, only inflame the situation, they are not exactly level headed.

3. For shippers, Anons, Antis in my inbox - don’t bother asking me if I have changed my mind about Sam and Cait. I haven’t!! Not in the slightest! My ship is sailing!

In fact, today’s events strangely solidify my opinion. While Sam stepped in, because let’s face it, this was so out of hand and spreading to other celebs that he had to, his message on IG, while properly indignant, did not have a personal tone in the slightest. On twitter, he did what he always does, post an indignant tweet and then proceeded with his usual upbeat self right after that, like nothing happened. Interesting…

And so… these are my last observations regarding this issue and I will not revisit it again. 

I have called for people to stay away from the girl’s IG before (and been screen capped for it). My thanks for trying to calm things down was to then also be called a cockroach by some idiot abusive jerk on twitter who can only make his insecure self feel better by belittling women of the OL fandom and their opinions. 

I do NOT approve of the bullying but I have done all I can really and at this point am preaching to the choir.

I consider what is happening now totally irrelevant to me and my ship, as I have nothing to do with it.

I hope to never address this again.

Peace out!!!

As some of you may know..

This morning Bernadette Giacomazzo and I had a very civilized conversation on Twitter regarding the “feud” between ourselves and shippers vs non shippers in this fandom . A little while ago Bernadette wrote an article detailing her side of these issues and doing her part to broker peace between our sides. I have promised to respond with my side and I intend to , I won’t be able to do that until later tonight as I am not home and haven’t been able to read her article yet. Please know that I fully intend to respond as was our agreement and so that we can move forward from the hate and anger . Two days ago my BFF was talking on the phone with her sister who had recently had back surgery , my friend thought her sister had fallen back to sleep while talking to her , sadly she had in fact passed away . Today I am spending the day with my friend and her family at her sisters farm and not only is wifi non existent out there but I am taking care of my friend first . I am sure you understand as will Bernadette.

Worthy Charities

I want to address a discussion that has arisen today 9/7/16 as a result of Ms. Giacomazzo from the Inqisitr writing a story about Cait and WCC.

I am a medical researcher myself. I trained at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston for my post-doctoral work, so I want to say that I understand perfectly well what the cause is and what is at stake here and I am doing my part too. This critique has nothing to do with the very worthy cause that Cait and Sam are champions of.

Some discussion arose as to whether to RT the article written by Ms. Giacomazzo or not as support for WCC. I say NOT! I can support Cait, Sam, WCC and Bloodwise on my own without RTing Ms. Giacomazzo’s article.

I don’t even wish to revisit some of the completely insensitive things that she chose to tweet the day of her op-ed piece, especially in light of all that had been happening in the news, something she as a reporter should have known better than to engage in.

Not RTing her article is not being petty, it is a choice and a choice I make with dignity. Ms. Giacomazzo has shown that she does not always behave as a serious professional and her lack of decorum on twitter was absolutely not befitting her station. 

As such, there are many other wonderful ways to spread awareness and I am sure more articles will be written about Cait and her charity. 

I will wait for those and continue contributing in any way I can.

Words Matter

This is not meant to be a political post, but I will use some analogies from the world of US politics to illustrate my point. Disclaimer: I am a liberal democrat.

Mr. Trump made a mistake yesterday. To be completely fair, I don’t think that Mr. Trump meant to incite violence with his second amendment comment. What he was doing was speaking plainly, in a reality TV show manner that is popular and off the cuff. But as Hillary pointed out - “Words Matter”. How you express yourself and what you say matters because it can be misinterpreted and you can either offend others or worse. That is why not everyone is meant to be a diplomat, or a statesman/woman or a president.

Which brings me to my point about what has been happening in the OL fandom. Mr. Shatner, in fact reminds me very much of Mr. Trump. He is someone who just speaks bluntly, doesn’t care who he offends, twists things to match his side of the story (well, so does Hillary), gets into personal attacks and is rude and off-putting. 

Mr. Shatner’s words matter, very much. He refers to women in a derogatory fashion, inciting his followers to do the same. He attacks, or the way he puts it “reprimands”, members of the OL fandom by screen capping and attacking their opinions. And he refers to a whole segment of the fandom as “cray crays”. Apparently, I am a cray cray. Who knew…thank you. 

I will admit that the provocation on both sides has reached extremes and some members of the fandom have not responded with decorum, but considering the imbalance in power and visibility between Mr. Shatner and members of the shipper subgroup, I think the burden of setting a good example rests with Mr. Shatner.

Mr. Shatner has not set a good example. Quite the contrary. He, Mr. Camuso and indeed Ms. Giacomazzo have even allowed members of the non-shipper OL fandom, such as Outlander Kat, to use gun imagery with the accompanying caption of “having Mr. Camuso’s back”. Did they mean that they would shoot someone? Of course not. But it is shockingly uncalled for, with everything that has been going on in the news…shocking!! This is no different than Mr. Trump saying he will punch someone or suggesting Russia should hack emails or indeed making an ill-advised statement about the backers of the second amendment. You know it is bad when the Secret Service decides to tweet about it.

Yes, words matter. Maybe Stephen Walters didn’t really mean to say “sod off” in any other way than to just be dismissive, but nobody likes to be told to fuck off. While this person’s tweet to Stephen W. was snarky, it was not actually rude. I could see about 50 better ways of expressing your annoyance with this person’s tweet, including the advice of “just ignore”.

Words matter. Members of the shipper fandom, many of which are highly educated professionals, do not appreciate being dismissed as just seeing things or mixing reality and fiction. If we have misunderstood, it is because there have been actions and words that have made us reach certain conclusions, because Words Matter. Saying people can’t tell reality from fiction is implying they are stupid (Yep…). I can think of a number of better ways to let us know we were mistaken, if indeed we were.

That being said, I am not entirely biased and I will admit that we, the shipper group, have not always had the most charitable of thoughts or ways to express ourselves and our opinion, but it has been pointed out to us and I feel huge strides have been made to be more careful with our language.

I wish the parties mentioned above would take this advice to heart as well.

How many people have Anti-Fan S-Shippers bullied?

There are many so it makes for a long list. The forms of bullying have included harassment, name calling, threats of violence, stalking, doxxing, and blackmail. The people who have been bullied range from fellow Outlander fans to innocent bystanders, to cast and crew members of the show.

Seeing in writing the number of people who have been bullied by s-shippers is stomach turning, so proceed with caution.  Note this list is not meant to be all inclusive or chronological, and comes from memory with the assistance of a friend who provided details of some of the most egregious acts of bullying.

Victim 1: Former S-shipper and now former friend of Jess. This victim is also a journalist.  What was her crime in the eyes of s-shippers? The  journalist went to Tony’s bar and discovered he was Cait’s SO, and published her findings. S-Shippers went after her maliciously for weeks, and the bullying didn’t stop until she deleted the post.  

Victim 2: Tony, Cait’s SO.   Although Tony has zero SM presence s-shippers put him in the spotlight, and began a campaign to dehumanize him. S-shippers were so rabid with the name calling, the comments, and accusations that Cait blocked a major s-shipper on Twitter. Even with a Cait block, s-shippers to this day vilify Tony every chance they get. 

Victim 3: The mother of a friend of Sam’s. Yes, that’s correct, the mother of Sam’s friend. The mother posted a comment on a SM post which implied that her daughter and Sam previously had a short lived personal relationship. In true anti-fan s-shipper form they pounced and accused this woman of pimping out her daughter to Hollywood in order to advance her daughters career. God forbid if the woman tried to defend herself or her daughter, s-shippers went low that day, incredibly low. 

Victim 4:  The daughter of Victim 3.  Cody was assumed by many to have dated Sam in late 2014. S-shippers repeatedly referred to her as a whore on her SM accounts for months  The bulling stopped once s-shippers were satisfied that there was no longer a relationship of any kind between Cody and Sam.

We all know that Purv took part in harassing Cody, however Purv did something that no s-shipper has ever done, she publicly apologized to Cody, and admitted that she was wrong with her behavior. I would like to see any s-shipper apologize to just one of her victims. Are any of you woman enough to do that?  Any of you? 

Victim 5:  On the heals of Cody there’s Abbie, a former girlfriend of Sam’s.  S-shippers came out swinging at Abbie early on. She was stalked, doxxed, and threatened for months. Her employer, friends, and family were contacted by a s-shipper in an attempt to terrorize her.

I don’t think it’s wise for Abbie to frequent 26 Grains now that several s-shippers also frequent this establishment under the guise of loving porridge. These s-shippers are not going to 26-G for the porridge, they are going there to be on the lookout for Abbie to do god knows what. I for one am glad that Abbie is physically fit.  She may look small but I bet she packs one hell off a punch, and would knock a s-shipper on her ass if the need arose. 

Victim 6: MM  I pity any woman who has a friendship with Sam. The vile and the hate has become increasingly worse with each woman that Sam has a friendship with. MM was harassed on her IG account for months.  In one comment s-shippers imply that she is a whore, and in the next they assert she’s bearding for him. The bullying of MM stopped only when Sam asked for it to stop. Why was a request even necessary? 

Victim 7:  Cast and Crew of Outlander. Sam, Nell, Terry, and Sam and Cait’s set drivers to name a few.  All have done something to rock the ship in s-shippers eyes.

S-shippers bullied Sam with a massive letter writing campaign to Starz and to his agent demanding public apologies from both TPTB and Sam.  What was Sam’s crime?  He liked a FB post in support of anti-bullying, and that hurt someone’s feelings. Yes, that’s correct Sam liked a SM post in favor of MM not being bullied, and the s-shippers took offense and went nuclear. Additionally Sam befriended William Shatner, and s-shippers didn’t like this, and had the gall to demand that he stop associating with WS.

S-shippers have gone so far deep into the upside down with their obsession with Sam that not only do they try to control who he dates, but they also try to control who he is permitted to be friends with. Their bullying has no limits. 

S-shippers have taken to Twitter on numerous occasions to bully. They’ve demanded that Sam and Cait’s drivers be fired. They have called Terry a drunk, and suggested that Ron physically assault her by sewing her lips shut. Poor Nell, they pulled the thirsty whore card on her with a trap-tweet. What could Nell have possibly done to deserve the bully treatment from s-shippers?  She dared to answer a tweet s-shippers tagged her in regarding Sam’s whereabouts. Her response blew a ginormous hole in the ship so they had to silence her, and yet again dehumanize someone who not only rocked the ship, but sunk it.   

Victim 8: Innocent bystanders who unknowingly get into the cross-hairs of s-shippers.  There are many and they include journalists, Lynnette Rice of EW, and Bernadette Giacomazzo of the Inquisitr. Both were bullied and vilified for interviews/articles they wrote. BG was threatened and s-shippers contacted her editor in an attempt to have her fired.

William Shatner’s assistant, Lisa Marie, was threatened with physical harm when she came to s-shippers attention though their SM data mining activity. They incorrectly believed that she may have been Sam’s new girlfriend, and they went after her. She took a lot of crap, and when threatened, WS stepped in to defend her, and s-shippers pounced on him. WS didn’t back down, and with his massive number of Twitter followers it finally came to light the extent of s-shippers bullying.

Jess messed with the wrong man when she tried to bully WS into silence with her “Shut-Up” tweet. Thank you, Jess. It is becasue of you millions of people outside of the fandom know what s-shippers are. You’re bullies, and millions know you are the biggest bully in the fandom. 

Anne Gavin from the Outlander cast blog.  AG wrote a sympathetic post on shipping but stated that she did not believe that Sam and Cait were a couple. S-shippers came at her breathing fire. The comments, harassment etc she endured was enough to have made the most stoic of personalities cry.  Anne may have cried, any of the victims may have cried, we will never know. 

Victim 9: NST’s who have been specifically targeted by s-shippers. Several NST’s have been bullied with doxxing, threats, and blackmail. If you’ve been in the fandom for at least a year you know who has been victimized so there is no need to note who they are. 

Victim 10: The Fandom. Every time s-shippers have bullied one of the above victims, and those not noted in this post they have bullied the entire fandom. Some fans have left because of the bullying, some are still around but are silent, and some will only participate though Tumblr’s anon function out of fear of being bullied by s-shippers.

I have wondered why s-shippers bully and have come to the conclusion that they do it becasue they find it entertaining and they enjoy the drama created from their behavior. These are the same people who claim love and light while at the same time actively engage in behavior to harm others. Simply put, s-shippers bully for sport. That’s not what decent people do, that’s not what fans do.

The Outlander fandom is better than what s-shippers have shown it to be. The reality is the fandom is full of decent and intelligent women who know the difference between Sam and Cait, and Jamie and Claire. Two of the named are real people with real lives outside of Outlander, and two are characters created by Diana Gabaldon a quarter of a century ago. If you don’t know the difference between the real life people and Diana’s creation, you’re part of the problem.