gi joe retaliation

the mc chris top ten movies of the year list. because you need more lists.

this list will make you angry. you will disagree and shake your fists at the screen, but keep in mind, just because i loved it doesn’t mean it’s the best ever, it just made me happy that day. it might not stand the test of time, but these films were still, nonetheless, a great day at the movies. 

10. evil dead - my zombie aficionado friends dismissed it, but i loved it. i think this is what every reboot should be. you hit the notes of the original and then you take it some place different. i think my only qualm was the mc5 shirt because that’s the kind of urban outfitters punk shirt that doesn’t make you as punk as you wish you were, but maybe that’s what they were going for. in that case kudos. i can’t believe sam raimi produced this and the great and powerful oz, which was one of the worst movies of the year if not my life. raimi, please return to horror. drag me to hell can’t be the end of it.

9. mama - sometimes when my wife and i are stressed we will watch a horror movie to release some steam. and the less we know the better. horror movies are great much like pizza and sex because even when they’re bad they’re good. but this was just good. it was a del toro production and like luc besson, if i see their name i’m game. i was beginning to think del toro, like jackson and raimi, who all had roots in horror, were losing their touch, but this felt like a return to form. we had no idea what to expect and had a great time.

8. before midnight - this movie was hard to watch. but it was one of those movies that helps you live life after you leave the theater, which is what all great movies should aspire to. my wife and i fought and agreed and thoroughly discussed this movie up and down. it felt true, it felt real, and we hope these movies keep going as long as these three people are alive. watch them back to back like we did and blow your mind to pieces.

7. gi joe retaliation - everyone hates these movies, but i have a great time, most likely because i was obsessed with gi joe as a kid. read the comic, watched the show, and bought just about all of the toys. since the last one wasn’t so hot, this one could only be an improvement. and it certainly was. it really felt like a gi joe movie this time, with tons of ninjas and also ninjas. the scene where they fight with snake eyes and jinx on the mountain ruled hard. yes there were tons of stupid bits, but overall i was so down with this. and i can’t wait for the sequel. 

6. thor the dark world - i loved the first thor and even though my friends didn’t like it i thought the sequel was pretty great. when luther runs up the bridge i was maybe the happiest i could be at the movies. i just love these movies that you don’t expect much from and then you get more than you could have hoped for. everything made sense to me. it wasn’t perfect but it was better than the first, and it gets me excited for the next captain america, avengers 2 and guardians. although that was maybe the worst sting marvel’s done so far and i thought it couldn’t get worse than schwarma. i understand why the director of this movie (who didn’t directed the post credit sting) hated it.

5. the lone ranger - this movie is on everyone’s worst list, but i think it wasn’t as bad as all that. yes it was violent and weird, but i liked that. i found it to be a perfectly acceptable origin story, where the hero starts totally different than how he ends up. and the last half hour, the last act was absolute perfection. when the william tell overture starts up and the train leaves the station i was in absolute heaven and even cried with joy. maybe it was because i thought my dad would have loved it, maybe it’s because i thought the music and the visuals were perfectly synched. i don’t know, i just completely disagree with the general consensus on this one.

4. hobbit the desolation of smaug - i loved the first one. maybe it’s because i watched it on my computer over three days. when the second one came out i watched it in a double feature. no one wanted to sit through 6 hours of hobbits so we had the theater pretty much to ourselves. i love the filler. i love radagast. i love the exploration of middle earth lore. gimme more i say! and they definitely did. it’s different than the book. there are invented characters, i know, but who cares? the book is its own great thing. why do we need movies to be checklists of what we already know? i love peter jackson, i always have, ever since i saw heavenly creatures. i want to see his interpretation of these books. the barrel chase was a great thing. i just marvel at these movies with my jaw dropped. i feel lucky to be able to see them. why wouldn’t you?

3. the wolverine - this movie was just about perfect. superman and wolverine can be boring sometimes because they’re unstoppable so this movie really made it interesting. and gave logan more depth, more challenges. i loved it. every fight left me breathless and the sting was the best sting ever. i didn’t see it coming. if only they had kept the costume reveal in the movie then i would’ve lost control of my asshole and mind all at once.

2. mud - what an awesome discovery! i watched jeff nichols other movies immediately, take shelter and shot gun stories. both great. this director is one to watch. he keeps his movies small and big at the same time. i loved the set up in mud, loved the pay off. loved the biblical allegories, the symbolism. it felt like a great short story, like all of his movies. i loved being surprised by small things and this one surprised me. i feel like it talked about life and how hard and shocking reality can be as you become a man. it made me think. it made me agree. i loved it. 

1. the worlds end - favorite movie of the year. i saw it twice while i was on tour this summer. and both times it was a highlight of my year. i stopped feeling like i was watching a movie, and started feeling like i was hanging out with old friends. i loved how tidy it was. the entire plot is delivered right away within a flash back. the cornetto trilogy plays like a puzzle and it’s fun to watch it and then go back and watch it again and catch all the clues and hints. please please please keep making movies together. spaced, hot fuzz, shaun and now this, i love it all. like linklater’s before trilogy and the films of jeff nichols, i hope it never ends. 

runner ups: frozen, the conjuring, fast and furious six, die hard five and spring breakers. all great but i guess just not good enough. movies still continue to enthrall me. they make me laugh and if they’re really lucky, even cry. here’s to next year!

ps. it should be said that i have NOT seen 12 years a slave, all is lost, blue jasmine, gravity, philomena or nebraska, but i plan to. i’m sure they’re all great.