Wish I Told You

[The stage lights had been dimmed down to their lowest setting. It had been quiet for a moment, before a slow sounding melody began to play. A single light started to become brighter, and it revealed Kazuichi, who had been holding a scarf in his hands. It used to be Gundham’s.]

[Kazuichi is seen wiping his eyes multiple times, meaning he had previously been crying. He had been sitting on his knees. He wipes his eyes one more time, then he stands up. He sets it on the ground, too heartbroken to wear it. He begins to sing.]

Kazuichi: I wish I told you,

The moment I had the chance to speak, I hesitated , I dreamt of us together after we had danced, I thought it was just a mistake, A misunderstanding in my brain, All of my unexplainable hate, was just a cover up for how I really felt- It was you, not Sonia, who made my heart melt.

[Kazuichi holds a hand to his chest, closing his eyes tightly, as he sung this next line.]

I wish I told you,

I fell in love and never knew, until that night I wanted to talk to you.

[Kazuichi opens his eyes, turning his head, as if he had saw something, moving the way he turned, upon seeing nothing, he went the other way, seeing nothing still, he let himself drop onto the floor, as he sung the next few lines.]

Kazuichi: Searching for the man who made living worthwhile, I didn’t understand why being away from you felt vile.

[He laid out, on his back, completely on the stage, staring up at the ceiling. One hand reaching up, as if he had been reaching for someone. He laid his hand back down on his chest, looking towards the audience.]

Kazuichi: I now can’t help but wonder, if this is all on me, Because earlier you said, you did it to set me free. And those words made me feel so blue,

Now I Wish I Told You…

[Kazuichi stopped singing, letting the melody be heard, letting people hear the faint, yet very there, melody that sounded like the first few notes of “Just Tell Him” and “A King, Not A Queen.” He slowly stood up, then continued to sing.]

Kazuichi: I wish I would have told you, a hundred thousand times I loved you-

[His voice cracks, intentional, as it sounds like he’s choking over his sobs.]

Kazuichi: Maybe you would have thought it all over. Maybe it would have made it worse.

Kazuichi: I wish I never told you a hundred thousand times “I hate you,” and said the right thing instead.

I wish I never would have fought you, over some petty fake crush. Now you’re gone and,

[He quiets down slightly, though he can still be heard.]

Kazuichi: I don’t have the means to go on.

I wish I would have told you,

The entire time, you were my dark night, I just couldn’t get that right, and now you’re out of sight, though never out of mind!

[He looks at Gundham’s scarf on the floor, letting more tears stream from his face as he screams that line. He becomes quiet, singing the next few lines softly.]

Kazuichi: And with your absence, there to remind, me of my mistakes,

It makes me wish I told you…

I wish I would have told you how I felt, but the cards have been dealt, but if I could go back in time, to save your life, don’t even question why, Kazuichi seems insane, God life without you is so mundane, I wish someone would take away the pain!

[Kazuichi now is very quiet, letting the music play on its own for a moment. He sighs, and turns away, towards a door.]

Kazuichi: I wish I would have told you….

[He stops at the scarf, still singing.]

Kazuichi: I wish I would have told you….

[He picks it up. Looking at it, with an extremely heartbroken look. He sighs again, then wraps it around his neck once. He turn to the door again, and continues to sing.]

Kazuichi: I wish, I wish, I wish, I would have told,

[The lights start to dim, and Kazuichi looks behind him, and another light shines down, revealing Gundham, with everything except his scarf. He had a soft smile on his face, before turning away, walking towards another exit, where all the dead/executed students were waiting for him. As Gundham joins them, they all seem to be happy, as they lead him away, offstage. Kazuichi shook his head, having not seeing anything. Singing this last word, he exits, and the lights turn off, so it’s completely dark.]

Kazuichi: You…

——–


I’m not crying, you are!

But in all seriousness, @septiscapebois this is so beautiful, I can hardly function

The song is so heartfelt and the way you also described the scene itself is breaking my heart. Everything about this is perfect ♥

ghosts

ironic
I learned more
in what you didn’t say
then what you did

is it
simpler 
to walk away then
face what we did?

is it selfish
for you to protect yourself?
or 
for me to want an answer?

ghosts
we curse them
but make them
or worse

become them… 

How to Bury a Gentile

I wrote a short vaguely historical vaguely spooky ghost story about Jews and burial rites and I have to justify it existing so here it is.


“Are you the leader of the Jews?”

There was no good that ever came from that question. Rabbi Jacob stood in the doorway, one hand on the knob and the other on the frame, ready to yank it closed at a moment’s notice.

“Well, not all of the Jews.”

The man at the door made a frustrated little grunt. He was clad almost completely in dark grey clothing that seemed to fade into the shadows of the darkened street behind him. The collar of his coat was pulled up so high that it was impossible to make out more than a pair of sharp grey eyes beneath the brim of his hat, and the cloak he wore over the top of it concealed most of his body. There could be any number of guns, knives, or angry mobs hidden under there.

“But the ones in this town, yes? You are their priest, you lead prayers and weddings and so on?” the man said impatiently.

“Rabbi. Yes. I’m the rabbi, that’s correct.” Jacob said, stiffening his posture and assuming the most neutral expression he could manage. Being completely ignorant didn’t exclude someone from being completely dangerous–if anything, that heightened the risk. “What can I do for you?”

“Rabbi,” the man repeated, as if to seal it into his memory properly. One gloved hand squeezed the pommel of his walking stick. “And you preside over the funerals of your people, and perform the rites to send them to the next world?”

“Yyyyyes?” Jacob shifted his weight to his back foot, poised to slam the door in his face. This sounded unpleasantly like an opening for a death threat.

“To any of them, regardless of the sins they carried in life?” An eagerness entered the man’s voice.

“Of course. Though sin as a Jewish concept differs from the Christian…mm. Yes, of course.” The scholars of old might have debated the nature of the evil in men’s souls until the crack of dawn but Jacob had no intention of doing so at half-past midnight with a complete stranger.

The shadowed man took a half step forward and Jacob leaned back to maintain the distance between him. “What about a gentile?” the man pressed. “Would you tend to his corpse too?”

“Huh?”

“There is a man needing to be buried tonight who requires absolution. He is not a Jew, but a Jew’s prayers may be close enough for what is needed.”

“Um. It’s not usually a request I get.” Jacob tried to keep his voice calm and soothing. There was some kind of entrapment lingering in the conversation, he just knew it. That or a giant box of crazy that had managed to dress itself stylishly. Gentiles asking Jews intrusive but urgent questions never turned out well for their target–a day-long case of irritation was the best outcome the target could hope for.

The man’s hands pressed together as he completed the full step forward, making Jacob back up into the doorframe. Desperation was in his tone and Jacob was forced back over the threshold just to stay out of his grip “All I need is someone to accompany me to the cemetery to consecrate the body and pray for its soul. Barely an hour of your time. I cannot pay you with anything but my gratitude, but you will have it eternally.”

“And you came to me?”

The man sighed. Even the top hat seemed to slouch slightly as his body slumped. “I have asked every holy man in the city, Catholic and Protestant alike, and they have refused to come to the cemetery,“ he bemoaned. "The last one told me to visit you. Likely a ploy to make me leave faster, but you are all I have left.”

“What did this man do, that so many people refused him? Who was he?”

The man at the door hesitated. The sharp eyes vanished as his eyelids slid down, and then appeared a few moments later.

“Must you ask?” he said quietly. “Is it not enough that it is a corpse which can do no man harm any longer, and you will lose nothing but a half-night of sleep?”

The inside of Jacob’s head was ringing with warning bells like the frantic clanging of gongs announcing a fire. He swallowed and tried to ignore them.

“You say he wasn’t Jewish?”

“He was not…much of anything. He felt God had no interest in him, and returned a lack of interest in kind. Perhaps if he had been more attentive he wouldn’t lie in a pauper’s grave…or perhaps he would have not changed a whit.” The man’s voice was bitter and the sharp eyes briefly looked away from Jacob, to Jacob’s deep relief.

“Who was this man, to you?” he asked.

“Close. I would prefer to say no more. Please, rabbi. It must be done, and it must be tonight.”

Seminary did not prepare me for this, Jacob thought, and then thought again. There is absolutely something in the Talmud about this and I’ve just forgotten it, because I’m an idiot and I’m half asleep and there is a goy on my doorstep asking me to go out to the cemetery with him at midnight to bury a man whose name he won’t tell me.

“Look, I’ll need someone to help dig the grave.”

“Of course.”

“And a coffin. A plain pine box. And I’ll need to get my supplies from the–”

“But you’ll do it?” said the man excitedly, standing up even taller. “And do it tonight, before the cock crows?”

Jacob held up his hands to keep the man from getting even further into his personal space. “Fine. Yes. Give me half an hour and a lazy rooster.”

The cloak almost seem to inflate as the man gasped for joy. He grabbed Jacob’s hands and shook both with enthusiasm, sending Jacob stumbling. “Thank God for you, my good rabbit! Whatever God there is, thank God for you!”

The man ran off into the shadowed streets and was out of sight almost immediately.

Jacob’s hands slowly fell back to his side as he mumbled, “Rabbi,” to the darkness.

My wife is going to kill me if whatever’s at the cemetery doesn’t.

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