keith whenever he hears a weird sound: mothman pidge: i knew he’d show
keith always gets her peanut preferences mixed up and thinks she likes peanuts but hates peanut butter flavored foods and pidge doesn’t have the heart to tell him he’s wrong
pidge, with tears in her eyes and a mouthful of peanuts: i love them…they’re my favorite legumes
even though keith isn’t that short he is still technically the second tiniest and pidge holds this fact near and dear to her
pidge, sleepily walking into the kitchen: give me a boost [keith pops her up too hard and sends her flying through the ceiling] keith: shit
they hang out in pidge’s room and when they do they put signs on the door that say “don’t enter” and “cryptids only”
when they hang out they turn out the lights and tell each other creepy stories
keith will get hungry randomly while they’re on missions and pidge just pulls out like three granola bars lance whispering to hunk: how did she get those
neither of them sleep enough so they see each other walking half dead through the ship at like 4:28 AM and they’re just like [waves weakly] hey
they’re both level 6000 roast masters so they insult each other all the time and shiro will be like “hey, hey enough of that” and they’re like “what? no we love each other”
they both are sarcastic so often that sometimes they talk to each other and they just “was that a joke” “fuck i’m not sure” “me neither”
keith: mumbles everyone: what pidge: god use your ears guys. he said he thinks the galra are going after the most densely populated planets first
[the crew goes to the beach] pidge to keith: pass me the sunscreen, scully
keith and pidge when any of the other paladins do anything annoying: men
keith: what is “truffle butter”? pidge: absolutely not
keith has a crush on zak bagans and pidge makes jokes every chance she gets
pidge: hurry up keith zak is waiting for you keith: SHUT- lance: who is “zak”… is he taller than me?
they’re both just. garbage goblins. there’s wrappers everywhere.
pidge drinks too much coffee and is all jittery and keith is the one who finally takes the mug out of her hands and is just like “that’s enough”
keith always gets minor cuts and scrapes when he trains alone and pidge and him have a routine where pidge kinda just bandages and disinfects the cuts and while she does that they gossip with each other
[pidge rubbing her hands together like a fly]
pidge: that’s morally wrong you know keith: yeah pidge: let’s do it
shiro: you two cannot just go around asking random alien bystanders if they’ve seen the chupacabra. that is so unprofessional.
pidge: were you listening to evanescence again keith, with tears in his eyes: no… pidge: give me the other earbud
pidge can rap the entire nicki minaj verse in monster and keith is just there in the back hyping her up
pidge capitalizes off the fact that lance doesn’t know who zak bagans is and is constantly making comments that imply that keith is romantically involved with him and lance keeps getting so mad and jealous and hunk is just laughing in the corner
keith finds pidge asleep in like, empty cupboards all the time and just. sighs and pulls her out and puts her in her bed
keith’s repeats the ghost adventures intro all the time bc echolalia and pidge is just like..there he is…my sweet son
I love Ghost Adventures. I will literally watch twelve hours of Ghost Adventures at a time. If you think that I won’t sit in an abandoned, haunted house on the off chance any of the Ghost Adventures crew will come by to give me one of their patented “aggravate the ghosts” speeches, then you are wrong.
I am a huge scaredy cat, but have very poor self preservation skills. I have to know. I have to. I hear something upstairs? Sounds like a murderer? Hip hip, it’s investigation time.
I love lox. Smoked salmon an everything bagel with capers and onion and cream cheese. Sign me up. I’ve had it every year for my birthday breakfast since I was 17.
One time at the beach one of my brothers got swept off the rocks by a big wave. I just stood there screaming, making no move to save him, until he washed back up on shore laughing his ass off.
I later became a lifeguard with that same brother.
Screaming freaks me out. It never used to until I became an EMT (large families are loud), but it does now. Even celebratory screaming or “so nice to see you” screaming. It automatically makes my spine rigid, my hearing super sensitive, and my muscles tense. I have to see what’s happening to relax.
I hate kazoos, actually. Someone recently invited me to a kazoo party. “It will be fun,” they said. “Over my dead body,” I told them with equal earnestness.
I have four siblings, all the same age as me! I don’t know what I’d do without them, they’re all such amazing, talented people. Every time I talk to them I am continuously amazed that due to marriage/blood/blackmail they have to like me.
I’ve been writing stories since I was eight. It started in Mrs. S’s class where we were writing fables and I wrote about why the moon is so much smaller than the sun. I ought to write her a thank you note.
I am writing this list instead of working. This list is powered by procrastination, the most powerful force in the world. We should all be afraid of procrastination. It is too mighty.