• Condesce: Who broke the coffee pot? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
  • Signless: I did. I broke it.
  • Condesce: No. No you didn't. GHB?
  • GHB: Don't look at me, look at Dualscar.
  • Dualscar: What?! I didn't break it!
  • GHB: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
  • Dualscar: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken!
  • GHB: Suspicious.
  • Dualscar: No, it's not!
  • Redglare: If it matters, probably not... Mindfang was the last one to use it.
  • Mindfang: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
  • Redglare: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Mindfang: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Redglare!
  • Signless: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Condy.
  • Condesce: No! Who broke it!?
  • Summoner: Condesce, Darkleer's been awfully quiet this whole time.
  • Darkleer: Really?!
  • (Yelling ensues)
  • (Camera pans to the Condesce)
  • Condesce: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict that ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Aw yeah I love the Homestuck ancestors

You know the ones

  • Spooky Psychic Sweetheart Wife
  • Badass Beast-Tamer Bull Husband
  • Sarcastic Sparky Psion Husband
  • Class Ass Crab Husband
  • Feline Fine Sign Wife
  • Matronly Mothergrub Wife
  • Aligned Lawful Lovely Wife
  • Irate Pirate Pilot Wife
  • Lorg Force Horse Husband
  • Mega Mirthful Maniacal Husband
  • Finely Tailored Sailor Husband
  • Fish Witch Bitch Wife 
Purple bloods: Twisted Whimsy

My personal lore of the purple bloods
Take or leave whatever ya like

The purple blood caste holds two allegiances. Their cult and the empress. While they find a strong distaste for violet bloods (seeing them as heathens and tainted purple) they see the empress as a good example of the work the Messiahs call for.
Should the empress not follow within the general principles of the cult, the caste is no way obligated to follow her orders. It just so happens that killing the weak and putting trolls above aliens is pretty much all the purple bloods expect from the empress

The caste values it’s religion highly, seeing themselves as war clerics of glory. They act like warrior priests leading and directing while not doing much paper work. They are the most up close and personal caste, unafraid of what most deem horrifying. Their boundless rage and waning mental stability makes them berserkers in battle, often leading the charge and soaking up damage and shrugging it off.

Purple blooded weaponry is based off of whimsy and the general instability of the caste leads them into developing unique and odd weapons
Spiked juggling clubs, nunchucks the size of tree trunks, etc
They are naturally the largest caste and thus typically wield the largest weapons.
(Violet bloods are more compact and dense due to water pressure. A full grown empress will be the tallest troll, always, but they always have a double trident)
A full grown adult can range from 6 10" feet to 8 5" feet tall (excluding horns). In more extreme cases some have been known to grow up to 9-10 feet tall

More often than not the purple bloods will be like the roaming death tanks leading the charge
Massive size with massive bizarre weaponry leads to a very frightening fighters

Purple bloods make up roughly 5% of the total population and can live up to 700 years

Purple bloods see their role as dark shepherds, protecting the flock, but purging the weak to make it stronger.
They generally see Lowbloods as the fuel to the fire of troll kind, cogs to the machine. They aren’t too valuable on their own, but they are needed all the same and have a place. (Not exactly worthless, but not exactly worth much)
(Rust through Yellow)

They see Midbloods as the guides, keeping things on a steady, neat course and typically doing the more precision based, mentally taxing jobs (paperwork, desk jobs, middle class)
(Olive through Cerulean/Cobalt)

They see Highbloods as the harsh rulers needed to keep the troll race great.
(Indigo through Fuchsia)

While they generally see themselves as better than all other castes, they often acknowledge everyone’s place within the Dark Carnival.
The beast tamers, the jugglers, the artists. Everyone is given a place, but as purple bloods they are the ring leaders.
More strict leaders of the cult (The Grand Highbloods) see themselves as harsh masters, bringing the carnival to reality with harshwhimsy (harshwimsy being the ability to impose your will on reality. Through actions, words, intimidation, persuasion, etc.) These are often Subjugglators. In human terms, warrior chieftains.

More relaxed members see themselves as purifiers, cleaning up the troll race. These are often laughsassins, whimsical assassins who are generally much calmer and use more precise and subtle methods. Kurloz would be one.

There are many other occupations and roles to fill.
For instance, Honkconquerors who take the role of generals in battle for holy crusades (which is to say all crusades)

Their cult sees purple bloods as the rightful followers of the Messiahs. While any land caste can be a member of the cult, purple bloods are immediately the highest in the church. They refer to their own caste as mirthbloods, a sign of their unique sovereignty.
Only purple cult members are allowed to wear their sacred face paint and it is considered dishonorable to be seen without it. Only close quadmates are allowed to see their true face, but only in privacy

They often perform rituals invoking the Dark Carnival wherein every mirthblood must demonstrate their whimsy in some way
Gamzee talked with his lusus and clown work and juggling became his go to. His lusus not being around made him awful at riding his unicycle and pretty crappy at juggling. His skills would be considered poor and could even get him culled if his attitude wasn’t whimsical and capricious.
Kurloz was trained for being a laughsassin, making him acrobatic and skilled at the grief trapeze.

Chucklevoodoos are a myth within the cult, deemed as spiritual power gifted by the Messiahs. One day the two messiahs will reincarnate themselves into a single troll. This troll will be gifted with chucklevoodoos and will change the church forever
Gamzee and Kurloz are these reincarnations

The Mirthful Messiahs were originally inspired by Calliope and Caliborn. Due to Lil Cal, Doc Scratch, and the Handmaid, over the sweeps the Messiahs have become more styled after Lord English and Doc Scratch
More calm purple bloods follow after Calliope and Caliborn
More aggressive purple bloods follow after Doc Scratch and Lord English

Grand Highblood is a title bestowed upon the top leaders of the purple bloods. Many trolls will speak of the empress by her title and violet bloods are constantly referred to as the nautical aristocracy as opposed to simply highblood.
There are 12 Grand Highbloods at any one time. Due to the sheer size of the troll empire it’s highly unlikely for most trolls to ever meet more than one Grand Highblood.
Collectively the 12 are referred to as the Court of Miracles.

That’s my personal rundown for my favorite caste! Hope you enjoyed!