oh okay one last thing before I get off the internet–

I’ve been thinking lately about tumblr, and how its mostly-female users appeal to over-the-top emotional language (e.g., my feels, i can’t, cries, ARGH, and variants thereof.)

And it’s interesting, because most of us exist in societies that see excessive emotion as worthy of ridicule, an indication of irrationality, and “hysteric.” Feelings have become feminized, and what is feminine is deviant, Other, lesser. Pathos used to be a valid argumentative strategy–now, an argument rooted in emotion isn’t just bad, it’s invalid. And what is invalid can be dismissed without thought. (It’s unworthy of thought.)

But on tumblr, emotion is linked to power. Explicitly so. Feels can kill, feels can hurt, feels drive the creation of graphics/meta/fic and fierce battles over canonicity or interpretations. Feels are the currency with which you buy your right to fannishness.

Our reaction to a society that dismisses emotion as baseless is to crank that shit up to eleven and make it the gate through which you must pass to enter the community.

we’ve weaponized emotion.

how cool is that?

that depression thing when you really want to be productive and shit but your brain is being awful and all you can do is wish that you were able to focus on something and you’re spending large amounts of energy fantasizing about hurting yourself and you want to get stuff done but you feel so terrible about yourself!!! ahhh!!!!! why!!! goddamn brain!!! stupid tired body!!!

anonymous asked:

Hey, are you alright? I'm seeing some angsty poetry and things and it seems like you're having a bad day :(

Super bad. Life is pointless and so am I. I am, to quote people in my household, a worthless, shitty person who will never amount to anything.

I’m getting off the internet now though before I spew all my suicidal thoughts and drama. It’s just… not good right now.