getting-off-the-internet-now

oh okay one last thing before I get off the internet–

I’ve been thinking lately about tumblr, and how its mostly-female users appeal to over-the-top emotional language (e.g., my feels, i can’t, cries, ARGH, and variants thereof.)

And it’s interesting, because most of us exist in societies that see excessive emotion as worthy of ridicule, an indication of irrationality, and “hysteric.” Feelings have become feminized, and what is feminine is deviant, Other, lesser. Pathos used to be a valid argumentative strategy–now, an argument rooted in emotion isn’t just bad, it’s invalid. And what is invalid can be dismissed without thought. (It’s unworthy of thought.)

But on tumblr, emotion is linked to power. Explicitly so. Feels can kill, feels can hurt, feels drive the creation of graphics/meta/fic and fierce battles over canonicity or interpretations. Feels are the currency with which you buy your right to fannishness.

Our reaction to a society that dismisses emotion as baseless is to crank that shit up to eleven and make it the gate through which you must pass to enter the community.

we’ve weaponized emotion.

how cool is that?

anonymous asked:

So if I were to offer you a bowl of metaphorical skittles with the chance of some being poisoned, you would eat them? If so, you put the safety of yourself, your fellow countrymen, the culture and the country itself at risk. That's with ignoring the overwhelming evidence that the so called "refugees" are not refugees but economic migrants, rapists and terrorists. Or all 3. So unless you want a repeat of Cologne, Paris or Nice, don't be such a retard.

The fucking bullshit skittles nonsense?  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?

You fucking idiot, we just dealt with your bullshit skittles metaphor.  Which, by the way, was originally coined by Julius Steicher, who was demonizing Jews.  Yes, the same Julius Steicher that was hung at Nuremberg.  Fucking read something before you make a total ass of yourself next time.

Overwhelming evidence that refugees are rapists & terrorists?  Show & prove, son.  Because in Germany (you know, the country taking in more refugees than any other European country), it turns out that there is absolutely zero correlation between refugees and any increase in sex crimes.  In fact, German crime stats show that despite giving shelter to 1.2 million refugees, there has been no uptick in crime whatsover.  Well, with the exception for a five-fold increase in attacks on refugee shelters by dipshit xenophobes like you. 

Has there been any terrorist attacks committed by actual refugees on their host countries?  Not in Cologne, not in Paris, and not in Nice, motherfucker.  None of those assholes were refugees.  Get your facts straight.    

The U.S. has harboured 750,000 refugees over the last 15 years.  Guess how many have committed an act of terror in the U.S.?  ZERO!

If you’re soooooo worried about terrorists, you fucking racist liar, then you should be pressing to deport nazi shits like yourself, since in the U.S. they are twice as likely to kill people in terror attacks than any sort of “jihadist”; in Europe bigots like yourself are five times more likely to kill someone in a terror attack than any kind of religiously-motivated terrorist.

Us, we’re more worried about what would happen if we didn’t take in refugees.  For example, the four Syrian refugees in Hamilton, Canada that stopped an arson attack & caught the arsonist wouldn’t have been around to put out the fire and arrest the asshole.  Or the Syrian refugees that, even though they basically have nothing themselves, raised money to help the people of Fort MacMurray, Canada when their entire town caught fire.  “We understand what they’re feeling. When you lose everything, you have to start from zero. You lose your memories, your items. It’s not easy. It’s something very sad. We can totally understand their feeling,” said Syrian refugee & fundraising organizer Rita Khanchet.  Yeah, I bet Canadians really regret letting her into their country.  

Economic migrants?  Fuck off with that.  There are now 59.5 million refugees in the world.  63% of them originate from Afghanistan, the DRC, Somalia, Sudan, and Syria. You think people leave their whole lives behind and take just what they can carry and risk their lives & the lives of their families for kicks?  Ask someone to slap some sense into your empty, entitled head.      

Oh, you’re worried about how refugees will affect your precious country’s culture?  Like we said not two weeks ago, prioritizing your country’s “culture” (which we guess is like a precious museum piece that must be kept in a magic cultural vacuum lest it be HORRIBLY CORRUPTED SHOULD ANY INFLUENCE OUTSIDE OF ITS PRECIOUS BORDERS LEAKED IN!  BETTER GET OFF THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE & YOU RUIN YOUR COUNTRY’S CULTURE FOREVER!!!) over the lives of other human beings is the most fucking cowardly, shitty thing we can imagine.  What kind of monster would say “sorry refugees, you’ll have to continue to risk your lives because I don’t want you introducing different food or folk dances or whatever to my magical fairy-country that has no cultural influences from outside of its borders?”  

Sitting behind your keyboard, fabricating lies & pathetic excuses about why you shouldn’t literally save people’s lives by helping them find a safe place for them and their families to live after fleeing horrors that you’ll be lucky to never experience in your life - you are a cowardly, disgusting, sorry excuse for a human being.  

Fuck you.

Okay y’all probably hate me by now because the old one got so long, but let’s just talk about Jaspar and iconic romantic movies again

William & Anna from Notting Hill vs. Joe & Caspar

Richard & Ilsa from Casablanca vs. Joe & Caspar

(pic via @caspisnotonfire)

Baby & Johnny vs. Joe & Caspar

Okay I’m really sorry for this one

I will get off the Internet now, it will be better for all of us goodbye y’all

If Bleach’s heroes became WOL celebrities...


As requested by  insurrectionary-proletariat. :)


In this list, we will pretend that the world of the living has learned that certain Bleach characters - namely the shinigami and the Karakura Town gang - keep saving the universe. Now those heroes are major world of the living celebrities! How will the Bleach characters react to this new found fame in the human world?


1. Chad: Leverages his fame to star on Carnivore Kingdom

It’s Chad’s favorite show (Kon is a cheap knockoff of the main character). 

Chad: Look, Kon. Now there is a plushie of me as well.

Chad: This one is for you.

Kon: T-this is a little weird, man!


2. Yamamoto: Refuses to have anything to do with human world media

After all, Yamamoto believes so strongly in not getting humans involved that he didn’t even let Orihime heal his arm.

Sasakibe: Uh, sir? The paparazzi have lots of pictures of you.

Yamamoto: WHAT?!

Sasakibe: You’re shirtless in every one. They call you Mr. God-Abs.

Yamamoto: …

Yamamoto: I-I will not let my principles slip!


3. Sasakibe: Leverages his fame to get a bit part on Doctor Who

He’s one of the guys who dies.

Yamamoto: Uh, Chojiro?

Sasakibe: SORRY I’M WEAK


4. Hinamori: Uses her fame to be a good role model

She especially wants to bring more attention to depression and PTSD and to women who are the victims of violence.

Hinamori: Oh look! The hashtag #evilglasses is trending!

Shinji: Cool!

Shinji: Still a weird name, though. 


5. Hitsugaya: Does not appreciate his nickname

Hitsugaya: WHY DOES EVERY NEWS MEDIA INSIST ON REFERRING TO ME AS “CAPTAIN KID”?!

Matsumoto: I think it’s the alliteration.


6. Matsumoto: Stars in commercials

Mostly for clothing and sweets.

Hitsugaya: …you have time to star in commercials but not to do your paperwork?

Matsumoto: The commercials are WHY I don’t have time for paperwork, silly!


7. Isane: Is very embarrassed by all the attention

Kiyone: Sis, look! You made the list of “Tall Women Who Are Also Big At Heart”!

Isane: W-what??


8. Orihime: Is very embarrassed by all the adoration

Orihime: T-they’re calling me a goddess!

Ishida: You do bring people back from the dead.

Orihime:  But still!


9. Soi Fon: Orders her ninjas to avoid paparazzi cameras

She calls a squad meeting and everything.

Soi Fon: We are ninjas who operate in secrecy. Our faces must not be known.

Ninja: Okay but hypothetically what if we already got super drunk at a human world movie premier and accidentally posed for a camera in our ninja uniform and then later without our ninja uniform or any clothes at all?

Soi Fon: THIS HAD BETTER BE VERY HYPOTHETICAL


10. Renji: Loves the cameras

He doesn’t so much avoid the paparazzi as pose for them.

Byakuya: Renji, what are you wearing? I thought you only had the one human world outfit.

Renji: Turns out if you wear the same thing, the humans won’t publish any more photos of you!

Byakuya: And you want them to take pictures of you?

Renji: It seems wrong to deprive them of all this


11. Rose: Quickly develops a fanbase

It’s his youtube music videos that do it.

Kira: Here is more fan mail from humans saying they would literally die to come to Soul Society for a live concert.

Rose: I-I’m going to the human world next week!!

Kira: Fans.


12. Ichigo: Finds that the fame makes it hard to do his job

The crowds following him around are inconvenient when he’s fighting hollows.

Ichigo: MOVE OUT OF THE WAY

Ichigo: AND STOP FILMING ME OH MY GOD


13. Ukitake: Is the darling of the internet

He pretends that he doesn’t like it, but secretly he does.

Ukitake: Kiyone and Sentaro never get off the internet now.


14. Rukia: Gets way too many creepy letters

Mostly from guys who want her to stab them.

Rukia: T-that isn’t how you become a hero!

Rukia: And you people really shouldn’t be ASKING me to stab you right now!!

Rukia: And if I get ONE MORE letter with a picture of their “super big” closet, I swear to god…


15. Aizen: Gets way WAY too many creepy letters

Aizen: Are they aware that I am in prison and that I was the one trying to destroy the universe?

Kyoraku: They apparently find that sexy.

Aizen: Humans.

Women, I’ve had a billion gins, so I’m going to give you all the advice you need for 2014:
1) Only hang out with people who make you feel comfortable and happy.
2) Get a bra you can dance in. I highly recommend the Marie-jo from Rigby & Peller. Spendy, but a life-time sex-dance investment.
3) Find what you would do for free, and try and find a way to get paid for it as your job. Everything good in the world comes from love.
4) Drink shit-tons of gin and listen to Daft Punk, Lorde, MIA, Kanye West and prime Bowie. All your revolutionary needs will be met.
5) Read as many books as you can - every book you read means you absorb another life. It’s the most pleasurable power-up ever.
6) You don’t need mascara if you’re wearing eye-liner. Spend your spare fiver on tights.
7) Never complain, never explain. No-one is paying you for either. Shine on you crazy diamond. Carry on your mission.
8) Ghostbusters is the greatest film ever because the main protagonists never fall out with each other. There is a lesson here.
9) Hair looks its best two days after washing, pumped with dry shampoo, and back-combed. YOU DON’T NEED A HAIRDRESSER.
10) A wobbly belly is the sexy birthright of all women.
12) (is it 12? I’m pissed) Always presume everyone you are dealing with has recently received bad news. Be gentle & forgiving.
13) There has never been a party better than eating a baked potato on the sofa watching “Cheers.”
14) The best eye-liner is Rimmel.
15) The best deodorant is 24-Hour Sure. Spray-ons don’t work. If you’re very sweaty, buy under-arm pads.
19) (literally lost count) full a pot with sunflower oil, salt & essential oil for the world’s cheapest shower exfoliant/moisturiser.
20) Become sweatily exhilarant at least three times a week - dancing, swimming, listening to music, walking. Exercise your body like a dog.
21) Feel fat? a) FUCK THE PATRIARCHY b) princess-line. This is the dress-shape that makes everything better.
53) When in doubt, listen to “Heroes” by David Bowie. You will always know what to do afterwards.
23) All concepts of Hell are simply the idea of you suffering for being unkind.
24) Sailors fighting in the dance-hall. Oh man, look at those cave-men go.
473) “And in the end, the love you make, is equal to the love you take.”
1974) If you don’t feel “normal”, your mission is to make your abnormal “normal”. I refer you, again, to David Bowie.
183636) Similarly, freaks, when people say, “That is not what we do,” you reply, “That is not what we do - YET.”
And then you smoke a cigarette whilst “Let’s Dance” plays.
bong) give me your hands, because you’re wonderful
48373) tights, boots, shorts, t-shirt, revolution.
HOT TRAMP I LOVE YOU SO. Mum says I have to get off the internet now.
*expansive arm gesture* PEOPLE ON STREETS *is put into bed*
“I want to do great things, as men do.”
—  Caitlin Moran welcomes 2014

There’s only one person whom Mirai stares adoringly at like they’re discount udon  like that 

and that’s

Joe: We’re not [going out].

Excuse me but

No this is not a serious post

I want to make sure I smell nice to you.

Hey Honey?

What’s up?

How’s the date going?

The worst date

My Heart Will Go On

Dirty Dancing

Me and Caspar are going to share a bedroom anyway.

You’re gonna share a bed, are you?

Yeah.

I’ve got super soft arms.

Why does that make a difference?

That’s why Joe likes them.

Everyone do the maths now

This is Caspar’s and my bed, it’s like a proper honeymoon bed

That’s me and you in the future

I’m sorry for everything I will get off the Internet now

5

GUYS I NEED ALL OF YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW THIS IS SO FUCKING SERIOUS

GO ON INSTAGRAM AND REPORT THIS USER RIGHT NOW I BEG OF YOU

THIS FUCKING SICK TWISTED PERSON HAS CREATED THIS ACCOUNT DEDICATED TO BULLYING AND TORMENTING THIS POOR GIRL WHO I DONT EVEN KNOW BUT WE MUST DEFEND

PLEASE I BEG OF YOU REPORT THE ACCOUNT AND COMMENT ON THE PHOTOS

WE MIST STOP THIS PERSON WHOEVER THEY ARE

THIS IS PURE CYBERBULLYING THAT LEADS TO SUICIDE

WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN, PLEASE GUYS WE MUST HELP, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD AND GET THIS FUCKING USER OFF THE INTERNET NOW.

http://instagram.com/i_hate_brianna_lusk_
http://instagram.com/i_hate_brianna_lusk_
http://instagram.com/i_hate_brianna_lusk_
http://instagram.com/i_hate_brianna_lusk_

PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD AND REBLOG THIS I KNOW IT DOESNT SUIT ALL YOUR BLOGS BUT FUCKING PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU ON MY KNEES PLEASE HELP STOP BULLYING NOW

I don’t even know what that is and I should not post this, but let’s name it a… Jaspar work-out themed compilation

Caspar: You’re a slut

Joe: He’s training me well

Okay, let’s talk more about training and work out

Caspar: We work out together, by the way 

OKAY, I AM INTRIGUED, TELL ME MORE

Caspar: And I dream about it, and I dream about Joe, and about how we could be… sweating together 

OKAY, YES, I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS MIGHT BE GOING cough cough

WHAT KIND OF WORK OUT COULD THIS BE

Oh.

WOW WHAT HAVE I JUST DONE

I’D BETTER GET OFF THE INTERNET NOW