getting this shit signed

WHY YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR SIGN
  • Aries: You play all the time, and you play to win. You are a cheerful and a happy person but god help the ones who do you wrong or the ones you love. You know how to party and you know how to have fun. You always give great compliments. You have a great body and great physical looks. Your smile is sexy and your laughter is even sexier. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Taurus: You have an impeccable taste for literally everything, you are the biggest hedonist out there and you simply know how to live. And you love life itself which comes in many forms. You have a cheerful spirit, intriguing mentality and even a greater heart. You are capable of putting up with so much shit and staying sane, haters can just stay jealous. You have the power to crack the earth in two when you witness negativity and you will. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Gemini: Your intelligence, style and communication skills know no borders. You are always the funny one, and even while some people might think that you're a drama queen or a double-faced attention whore, you just know that it isn't true. And you don't fight them but you let them learn it themselves that you're not a double-faced backstabber who hurts people for fun. You just love supporting people and making their lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Cancer: You are literally one of the sweetest experiences one could ever have. You can teach people a lot, and you can stay strong through a lot of shit in your life. You are pure, innocent, loving and caring. You give the best hugs out there and you know how to satisfy people. You are full of positivity and you always put people's needs before yours. You can stand up and keep an insanely happy face even you're being torn apart inside. You are strong and you are one of the most sensitive people out there, which makes you really strong. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.|
  • Leo: You have this cheerful spirit and you radiate with alluring energy. People might accuse you of wanting to be the center of attention but you deserve to be the center of attention because you are special and you know what you're capable of. You just want to assure people that you're a person who's capable of many things and you can lead yourself and people to greatness. You are a natural born supporter and you simply know how to make people's lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Virgo: You are really a person who's great in many spheres of life. You're deep. People might accuse you of being overcritical and a perfectionist, but don't let them bring you down. Yes, you are critical and you are a perfectionist but that's because you just want everything to be alright. You suffer from tons of anxiety when you want to achieve something but believe me, it will pay off. Just stay strong and don't listen to people who say that you're very silent and unsuccessful because you have the potential to surpass them all. You are a great thinker, a very intelligent person and you are one of the biggest go-getters out there. Stay strong and you will succeed in whatever it is you want. You know how to fix people's problems and you are born to help. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Libra: You are a person who radiates with positive energy. You are a beacon of happiness and you are one of the most creative people out there. You know how to care for people and you know how to love. God damn it, you have impeccable style and you know how to dress. You are appealing and both your physical and mental beauty are dominant when you enter a room of new people. You are a big, big person with even a bigger heart than your body and you know how to give people an advice. Those pieces of advice you give, often fix people's problems. You are beautiful. You are admirable. You are capable of many things and you know how to get shit done. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Scorpio: You are a person who's capable of many things. People usually think that you're too intense, childish, evil and vengeful but you're not. You just know how to have fun and you love making people's lives better. You are a master of telling jokes. Your eyes can penetrate deep inside a person's soul and see the sadness inside that person. And you will help that person. You help people on a daily basis, even if they don't see it. Most of the time you are very sad and you suffer inside because you think that people don't see what you've done for them, and that is okay. But believe me, they do see what you've done for them. And if anyone wrongs you or a person you love, you can avenge yourself or that person you love. Many people think that you're cruel and unforgiving but that's not true. Don't listen to the stereotypes for Scorpios and focus on being a good person. You forgive endlessly, you just don't like showing your emotions because people might manipulate you or use them against you, so you might do some things (which you will later regret) just because you don't want to seem weak. But that's how you protect yourself. Don't worry about others' opinions, you're a great person, filled with positivity. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Sagittarius: You are a person who cares about everyone. You are not bitchy and nervous, it's just that you are sick of people doing mistakes which they will later regret. You are a born teacher and you are born to lead people into a new, better world. People need to start listening to your pieces of advice because the pieces of advice you give are priceless. You are not extreme and you are not impulsive because you want to be, you do it because you want to prove others that you're a good person and a person who honestly and sincerely cares about everything. You often suffer from anxiety and insomnia, but it's because you are a very intelligent person and your mind works a lot faster than other people's. You come off as a person whom everyone thinks that hates emotions and doesn't know how to feel, but, believe me, you know how to feel. You just can't stand it when people don't live just and you are born to fix the mistakes of yours and of other people's. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Capricorn: You are a deeply caring person but you don't show it as most people do. Others will think that you're unfeeling and cold-blooded because of the way you show your emotions and because of your silent nature, but you are not emotionless. You are a person who cares a lot about your and other people's future. You are not materialistic and money-oriented, you are a person who is concerned with your and other people's well-being, so you work your ass off because you know where you might end up one day. Don't let people pick with you or underestimate you because you are a very sensitive and emotional person who knows how to support people and lead them to happiness. You will be made fun of, you will be insulted, you will be hated and you will be fought but you should know that you shouldn't give up of spreading positivity and working hard to achieve your goals. Don't let negative people stop you and bring you down. Learn that you are a person who knows how to function. You are not dull, as most people think. But let them think because you needn't carry about negative people's irrelevant opinions because you know who you are, and you are not dull. You are a very interesting, funny and creative person. You are a great friend, parent, partner and a lover. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Aquarius: You are an open-minded person and your intelligence is really great. You are a very understanding person and you know how to have fun. You lead people into great adventures which might seem risky, but you do it for the sake of fun. Best memories always come from great experiences, and you know how to make people experience things. You are not limited and detached as most people think, you are a person who just thinks rationally for your and the lives for the people around you. You are not argumentative as everyone thinks, you are debatable. There's a difference. You love learning and debating, you just seem argumentative because you're passionate for debates and learning new things. You are not a weirdo or a freak, you're an eccentric person. There's a difference. You are a great friend. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Pisces: You are one of the most insightful people out there and you simply know everything, because you feel everything. you have the gift of unlimited and uncontrollable emotions, which might sometimes take advantage of you but I assure you that you have the ability to control your emotions. You are one of the most intelligent people out there. You are very beautiful, both physically and mentally. You are a natural born philosopher and you're the deepest person there is. You are not weak just because you are hurt or triggered easily, you are strong and powerful beyond limits because you experience everything both with your heart, soul and mind. You absorb people's feelings and you absorb information like a sponge. You are capable of many things. No matter your easygoing, sweet, cheerful or introverted nature, you are one of the best fighters out there and you always win no matter what, because you stubbornly go to extremes and you have the ability to go to the end of the universe and back, if it's required of you to get what you want. You fight till the very end and you know how to sit on the throne. Despite most people's (stupid) opinion, you are not a wallflower. You are a natural born leader who just seems dreamy and lost most of the time but that's because you're very intelligent and you think like no-one else does. When the topic of a conversation is brought, I bet you've already been overthinking about it. You can put up with so much shit and you can go through everything, you can run through hell and fly through heaven in order to achieve your goals. You are not weak, you're just a person with the most intense emotions out there. Learn to control things and you will be unstoppable. When someone hurts you or someone you love, you will turn into a giant shark and every unjust person will feel the ocean's wrath. You are not weak because you're a forgiving person, you are just one level above all those haters and you actually understand why people made those mistakes, and that's why you forgive - when you forgive. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
the signs as walter white fuck ups
  • aries: getting pepper sprayed and arrested after yelling at a cop about his right to express his opinion
  • taurus: the pizza on the roof
  • gemini: waking up on the floor surrounded by popcorn to a voicemail from his ex-wife threatening to get a restraining order because of said pizza on the roof
  • cancer: getting high on meds and answering “which one” when skyler asked him if he’d brought his phone
  • leo: getting drunk and telling hank he was wrong about gale and heisenberg was still out there
  • virgo: his attempt at "talking with ted"
  • libra: getting fired after trying to make a move on his boss
  • scorpio: causing the 50th worst airplane crash in history
  • sagittarius: burning down half a million dollars and getting fire on his clothes when trying to put it out
  • capricorn: making a pros and cons list for murder
  • aquarius: his inspirational speech about the plane crash in front of the whole school
  • pisces: calling his son by the wrong name on his son's birthday
The Signs as RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9
  • ARIES: Eureka O'Hara
  • TAURUS: Aja
  • GEMINI: Shea Couleé
  • CANCER: Farrah Moan
  • LEO: Valentina
  • VIRGO: Sasha Velour
  • LIBRA: Kimora Blac
  • SCORPIO: Trinity Taylor
  • SAGITTARIUS: Peppermint
  • CAPRICORN: Alexis Michelle
  • AQUARIUS: Charlie Hides
  • PISCES: Nina Bo'nina Brown
Black Coffee For The Signs

(Bitter doesn’t mean it’s bad)

Love can’t pay the bills; I’ll suffer hunger in my heart, instead of my stomach

Taurus, Capricorn

Loneliness is the price I gladly pay for freedom

Aries, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Perfection is a thing of fiction, but I’ll die before I stop pretending

Leo, Virgo, Pisces

It’s better to be with people who make me feel lonely than to actually be alone

Gemini, Cancer, LIBRA

the signs as either ryan, shane or the cameraman from buzzfeed unsolved (based off of my interactions with the signs)


Aries: Shane

Taurus: Ryan

Gemini: SHANE

Cancer: Ryan

Leo: Shane

Virgo: Cameraman

Libra: Cameraman

Scorpio: Shane

Sagittarius: Cameraman

Capricorn: Ryan

Aquarius: Shane

Pisces: Ryan

You can kinda infer what's the current brazilian situation by our latest hits I mean
  • 2012: Oh if I catch you, oh, oh, if I catch you
  • 2014: *random lepo lepo lepo lepo nonsense*
  • 2016: AND THE MACHINE GUN GOES TRAAA, TRRRA, TRÁ
  • 2017, January: CHECK THE GAS
  • 2017, March: looooooooook at tHEEE EXPLOSION!!!

anonymous asked:

For McHanzo, who would propose to who? (I saw the proposing video in your blog lol )

*In the midst of a raging battle* *on private comm channel*

Hanzo: *snipes someone* A formal partnership, you say.

McCree: Yeah, so’s we can get Winston to put us in a bigger room, an’ I can getcha on my health insurance. Cut through a bunch of red tape, that sorta thing. *Fans the hammer*

Hanzo:  And what is required of us in order to obtain this partnership? McCree,  watch your six.

McCree: *Headshots someone* Sonovabitch crept up on me, thanks darlin’. I dunno, probably sign some shit, get it notarized. You know, nice an’ legal.

Hanzo: Hmm…

McCree: You got some headin’ your way, sugar. Left side. 

Hanzo: *insta-scatter arrow kill* Neutralized. McCree, this ‘formal partnership’ sounds much like…marriage.

McCree: *Long pause*

McCree: Huh. It does sound an awful lot like that. *Throws flashbang*

Hanzo: Indeed. 

McCree: So how about it? You an’ me. 

Hanzo: I am not averse to the idea. It may be the most practical solution for us. *Releases sonic arrow* The payload has stopped.

McCree: Alrighty, let’s get this goddamn payload movin’, and then have ourselves a drink ‘cause that sounded like a yes, sweetheart.

Hanzo:  A resounding yes.

McCree:

McCree: I’m gonna give it to you so good when we get back.

4

been wanting to use this dumb scene since forever but it looks like itll never happen in my fics so here take my mediocre art instead 👌

guys…. you do realize the voice actors literally have NO say on what gets written into the show, right?

I swear, one more “lol men are mediocre” post crosses my dash and I’m going to completely lose it. 

Like… is that something you’d say to the face of the men in your life? There is probably at least one guy you care about, whether it’s a family member or a friend or a former mentor. Could you really look that person in the face and go ‘lmao men are mediocre’?

And if not, can you maybe consider that they might stumble across your stupid, stupid, stupid poorly-considered rant and think that it’s about them? 

And that’s not all. Most of y’all who post this crap consider yourselves to be SJWs. Fighting for the fucking side of right, all that. If you do this- if you constantly post about how men are terrible and mediocre- you’re fucking terrible at social justice. 

Have you considered that your ‘PROTECT [XYZ GROUP] AT ALL COSTS’ rhetoric is completely empty and shallow if you’re not willing to protect all members of that group? Have you fucking considered that some men are POC or queer or trans or disabled?

 If you post “DISABLED PEOPLE ARE AWESOME” and “QUEER PEOPLE ARE AWESOME” every five minutes and then follow it up with “LOL MEN THO”, we know how you really feel. Your ‘support’ for disabled people or queer people only extends to vague internet platitudes. When it comes to, you know, not triggering people with depression, or anxiety, or impostor syndrome? Haha, who cares, there are men to make fun of on the internet! 

In less pretentious language: your support means jackshit. 

Social justice is supposed to be about making the world a less shitty place. It’s supposed to be about making the world a place where no one gets hurt for things they can’t help, no matter what race, creed, or gender they happen to be. 

If you’re not willing to do that? If you’re more interested in petty, mean bullshit against a group you don’t like than helping people?  If your “SJ” is more about sticking it to men or white people or str8s or The Cis than it is about helping raise the people you want to help out?  You fucking fail at justice. You’re looking for an excuse to be mean.

Either admit that you just want an excuse to be mean, or stop doing this. Shit or get off the pot.  

Signed: A queer, trans, disabled man who is so tired of your crap you don’t even know

what do u think astrology on earth c is like. like “oh you’re a kanaya? wow im a dave” its just “john” or some shit. you get your horoscope and its like “you’ll be pretty chill today” its the same horoscope youve gotten for 10 years because your sign is “dave.” “dirk”s complain about always getting angsty shit on their “signs as” posts

First of all, sorry for the slow responses! I forgot that I had to work a shift today, so I wasn’t around all afternoon. Which didn’t leave much time for me to write, but here I am, so lets do this (until I inevitably disappear to get some sleep)! Also I’ve gotten some very lovely asks but I wanted to write this down before I forgot. I thought of this headcanon while I was working and it’s too damn good not to share:


Alright, this happens at some point after CW but before Thanos shows up. The team (without Bucky, who’s still in Wakanda, working on getting his head cleared) is back in the US, having signed some form of revised accords. Steve is no longer team leader, but otherwise they’ve gotten off fairly easily with little repercussions. The tension between the old and new Avengers is obvious and especially Tony is met with outright hostility. It doesn’t help that Rhodey still isn’t in any shape to join the fights and is rarely around.

One day Clint signs Tony up for a parenting class. It’s another not-nicely-meant joke because of all the criticism Tony’s gotten for letting Peter fight. Only, the thing nobody expected? Tony actually goes. Because apparently he’s just that masochistic (apparently part of him still desperately wants to fix, to work things out between them). It earns him a lot of harsh ridicule, but Tony finishes it all the same.

Thing is, the Team Cap is so busy making fun of him, they don’t even notice when things start changing. Little things. When Steve walks into an argument between Clint and Tony and asks the latter “What have you done now?” disappointedly, Tony doesn’t snap something, get defensive or flee. He says “Have you ever noticed that you’re always immediately assuming I’m the one who has done something?”. It earns him another hurtful comment from Clint, and the incident is forgotten.

Until. Until, one day, during a debrief, Steve snaps. “She’s just a kid, Tony!” he yells when Tony keeps insisting on harder training for Wanda.

There’s a moment of silence, before, “Oh. Really? Does everyone agree with that?”

“You’re still not done catching up, Stark? So much for the futurist,” Clint sneers, and the matter is dropped. Or so it appears.

For the rest of the meeting, Tony is quiet. Thoughtful. In retrospect, they should’ve taken it for the warning it was.

That evening, when Wanda orders a new dress online, FRIDAY dispassionately informs her the transaction is impossible, as the price goes beyond her monthly allowance.

After a fruitless shouting match with the AI, she goes to Steve. Who (after a just as fruitless shouting match) goes to Tony. Who shrugs. “You told me she’s just a kid. Nobody, not even she herself, disagreed. I’m treating her like one.”

Suddenly, M-rated movies are inaccessible whenever Wanda is in the room. Once her curfew is reached, all electric devices go into sleeping modus (unless in case of an emergency of course). Talking with Tony, screaming at Tony, proves to be completely useless. Tony refuses to budge. Repeats lessons from his parenting class, about enforcing rules and teaching children boundaries.

And it doesn’t end there. The entire team is cut off from Tony’s money–Steve has to admit, he’s entitled to that, and maybe the team has gotten a bit too used to throwing Tony’s money around. That’s not the bad part anyways, they all have their own salaries from the government, they can still live. Just maybe a little more limited than before.

But suddenly the services they’ve become accustomed to are cancelled. They have to buy groceries themselves. There is no cleaning crew after Wanda throws a temper tantrum–she has to clean it herself or one of her ‘staunch defenders’, as Tony calls them, has to do it for her. New furniture doesn’t magically appear out of thin air, they have to buy it. And suddenly–suddenly the costs are starting to add up.

There’s a list pinned to the fridge one morning–on paper even–with their chores, going from doing the dishes to the laundry, that rotate every week. Who hasn’t fulfilled his one has to do all the chores the next week. FRIDAY keeps track of it, and barring missions and injuries, there are no exceptions.

Being grounded is an honest to god possibility now, including all electronics, for when they break one of the House Rules. And they are all enforced ruthlessly.

They all try to talk to Tony about it–they aren’t children, they don’t have to put up with this shit, it wasn’t funny to begin with, when is he gonna stop this already–but he remains unmoved.

It’s all “You told me Wanda is a kid,” and “I am allowed to set rules, considering you’re living under my roof. And there really is no excuse for breaking them, you are all aware they exist and why. They’re reasonable and you know it.”

And the most damning of them all. “If you’re so grown up and independent, you know where the door is. Walk out. This isn’t a prison, and you’re always welcome back, provided that you’re following the rules. You can walk away any time you want.”

Suffice to say, Clint is getting a lot of shit for signing Tony up for that parenting class. (Tony tells him he really appreciates it because clear communication is important.)