getting stuff

FAHC Gavin

We all know Gavin gets frustrated and impatient easily, but I didn’t realize that he gets 500x more British too. I don’t have a reason for writing this other than I just wanted to. Words taken almost directly from mc ep 313 at 17 minutes in.


The Fakes are in the middle of a tense, high-stakes heist (code for: breaking into a bank on the other side of town because the manager talked shit). This time, Trevor says, they’re gonna go stealth. Ryan boos from the back of the planning room but is ignored. The plan is to send someone in to talk to the people up front and distract them while another group sneaks into the vault through a back door.

Part one works out just fine. Jack walks in the front door wearing a wig, new suit, and speaking on her phone the whole time as she orders the workers around. Entitled customer: check.

Alfredo rigs a device out of wires and tape that honestly, none of them can explain, but it keeps the cameras looping and that’s all that matters. Michael knocks out the back guards without a sound. The Battle Buddies are ready in a nearby alley with an escape car. The rest of the crew hangs out nearby, ready to provide the back up that Trevor insists they won’t need.

Then Gavin is sent in to pick the back lock. Seems like the perfect plan since he tends to be…more subtle than some other crew members.

Jack is definitely distracting the workers (they aren’t getting paid enough to deal with this, especially with the dangers of working at a bank in this city), but Gavin is taking awhile with the door. Michael joins him where he kneels, glaring at the lockpick in his hands. All the crew can hear over the mic is irritated muttering.

“Uh, Gav? You okay there buddy?” Michael asks.

Gavin’s only response is one of his infamous, irritated squawks.

Another minute passes and Trevor starts to regret letting Gavin have an important role.

“You know, if you need someone else to get the lock-”

“Suck my penis!” Gavin hisses, his words clearly addressed to the lock, but also effectively cutting Michael off. He just sighs and sits down on the floor.

“Why don’t we just go to plan Z?” Jeremy asks.

“I love plan Z!” Ryan exclaims, tapping a finger against the grenades on his belt. Plan Z was “blow everything up,” which is why it was the last possible letter. The group had found that you can’t get much money out of a raging fire, although that hardly mattered to the Vagabond.

The pick slips out of Gavin’s hand and clatters metallically on the floor.

“Oh, I’m getting so impatient, and it’s pissing me right off-”

“Why don’t you just calm down-”

“And I’m squeezing my pick well hard, son!” he says, his voice getting louder with each word.

There’s laughter from the mics, Matt especially making no effort to contain his amusement. Gavin yells in confidence and then annoyance as he almost gets it, but fails the lock again.

“You remember how long it took you to pick that padlock the other day, Matt?” Jeremy asks.

“I-well, I was very drunk.”

“Oh, right, Matt and I were hammered.”

“You’ve done this drunk??” Gavin asks despite himself.

“Well you did it too, Jeremy, I want to say it was three minutes?”

“I did do the whole thing drunk.”

“Su-suck my penis!” Gavin yells again, so frustrated with himself that he can hardly get the words out. Michael claps a hand over his mouth as Matt taunts him in the mic.

“You trying to alert every guard in this place?”

Gavin fights him off (pitifully) and picks up his tools with renewed determination.

“Just calm down,” Michael advises.

Gavin carefully starts again, and Michael turns to scan the area behind them. He just starts to sigh in relief as no guards appear to arrest them, when from behind him, Gavin lets out an angry scream. Michael spins back around and basically tackles his friend to the ground, covering his mouth with both hands. The others are complaining about volume, joking about going deaf and how Gavin is always the one to bitch about loud noises, but Jack’s background chatter as she talked to the workers has stopped.

“Uh, guys,” she says, “I heard that from in here. And so did everyone else.”

There are shouts and running footsteps from behind them, and back up security rushes around the corner. Michael leaps up with his gun, leaving Gavin laying on the floor contemplating his life.

Gunshots begin to ring through the air, echoing in the mics. Jack pulls a handgun on the man working on the register, who hits the alarm before she can even shoot him.

“So, Plan Z?” Ryan asks happily.

Trevor sighs heavily, exhaustion and defeat dripping from one sound.

“Plan Z.”


Pairing: usuk

Rating: G

Summary: The King and Queen were both reckless, in their own ways. Both awfully protective of the other, too.ย 

Based off of this post by @not-aph-england

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