getting snarky

Reasons I love Valkyrie in Thor: Ragnarok

Played by Tessa Thompson. Immediate awesome points

Finally the major supporting female character is a woman of color in a Marvel movie

Wears practical clothing/armor and doesn’t fight like a damn acrobat coughBlackWidowcough

Zero hints of any forced romance subplot with Thor

Treated with absolute respect by Thor, who doesn’t feel entitled to her attention or affection in any way

In fact Thor openly hero worships her. That’s right, the male hero has looked up to a female warrior and an all-female warrior team since childhood and doesn’t in any way feel threatened or emasculated by it

For once a female character gets to be the snarky, persistently drunk lovable asshole wash-up with a Tragic Backstory™ who needs to be persuaded by the male hero to do the right thing and fight for what’s right

Bottom line is that Valkyrie in this movie is basically a female sidekick in a male led superhero flick done right. She isn’t alternatively sexualized and loathed by the male hero, she isn’t treated as a prize the male hero is entitled to by the end of the film, her fight scenes aren’t relentlessly filtered through dismembering male gaze ass shots and she isn’t the moral “conscience” of the team there to tame all of the male egos around her like their fucking mom. Other Marvel/superhero directors take note.

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Destiel, Bi!Dean and preparing the audience for a “shocker”.

I just did a re-watch of 12x10 and it really got me thinking again about Benjamin and Cas’s talk in the car with the boys about Benjamin and his female vessel.

At the time the episode aired, I think I was so excited about the prospect of Cas being in a female vessel, and how this could potentially shift a heteronormative audiences perception of Dean and Cas that I didn’t realise just what else they were trying to do.

This is about reassurance.

This is the conversation that was had in the car:

CAS: Benjamin is always very careful. Long ago, he found a powerfully devout vessel in Madrid, and her faith, it… she gave him everything – her trust and her body.

DEAN: Wait. So Benjamin’s a woman?

CAS: Benjamin is an angel. His vessel is a woman. But it – it’s – it’s more than that. She’s not just his vessel.

Just this small exchange is important as exposition for the audience. It is about preparing the audience for what is coming up. The idea that Cas was also once ‘a woman’. Which, okay, no he wasn’t a woman, he just had a female vessel, but imagine how that would have gone down had this exchange not taken place? Imagine how a general audience would have reacted to Cas and his female vessel had Benjamin just been another angel in a male vessel?

Probably a lot like the way Dean acted here, with confusion.

By giving us the Benjamin character and this particular scene as well, the writer has successfully prepared the audience for Cas in his female vessel. Preventing raised eyebrows and confusion because the audience will remember this conversation and apply it to Cas.

“Castiel is an angel, his vessel WAS a woman. His vessel is now a man, Cas is still a dude and it’s not weird. Cool beans.”

(when I think of a general audience watching SPN lets just say that I certainly don’t think of the fandom or tumblr. I think of my brother and that is something I won’t get into here. Heteronormative doesn’t even begin to cover it.)

The fact is, making one of your three main lead male characters a woman for an episode is a weird thing to do, the kind of thing that would probably make some audience members uncomfortable. So adding in this exposition, this reassurance, removes that level of discomfort, it gets them used to the idea first, like a buffer.

See for a show like SPN, whilst its always been a bit weird with its story lines, it’s never been all that progressive. As much as we would all like to wish that all SPN viewers were like us – liberal forward thinking people who are willing and eager for TV to break a few taboos – the chances are that is very much not the case. Its an old show, it has an established audience (apparently a bipartisan audience amazingly) and therefore breaking boundaries the way more modern shows have (such as American Gods, How to Get Away with Murder and Orange is the New Black) just isn’t really in the cards. Those shows established the taboo stories, the queer main characters, the representation, from the start. They built their audience on those foundations. SPN can’t do that without isolating part of its audience – unless it thinks very carefully as to how it may present such notions.

I hope I am explaining this in a way that makes sense. See this is of course about Bi!Dean and Destiel (as if anything on my blog WASN’T about those topics). Because here’s the thing. On any other, newer show, for Dean to come out as bisexual, for two male lead characters to enter into a homosexual relationship, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Those shows could build their audience around those concepts, because they would be ingrained into the show from the start.

For Supernatural, that sadly isn’t the case. SPN didn’t clearly establish Dean as Bisexual early on, and Destiel isn’t canon, it has always been the subject to interpretation with just enough ‘no homo’ so that anyone who chooses not to see it doesn’t have to (again, excluding 12x19 but we’ll get there)

One of the biggest hurdles to getting bi!dean and canon destiel, is for the SPN creators to overcome this fear that half their audience would reject them if they actually went there. It would be seen as coming ‘out of the blue’ and all those heteronormative people would raise their eyebrows and moan and be utterly confused by it.

That’s why Supernatural needs the buffers. It needs the gradual exposition, the subtle desensitisation of a general audience to anything even mildly “progressive”. If Supernatural wasn’t putting these buffers in place already, I would think we would have a problem. I would be much more apprehensive at even the idea that destiel could be a thing that is actually happening.

What is so fantastic, is that just like in 12x10 with the fem!Cas buffer that was Benjamin, we have already been getting buffers all throughout the last few seasons.

Here are some of my favourites:

  • Jesse x Cesar – 11x19 – These guys are my absolute favourite, they were created specifically to show the audience that you can be a gay man and also a macho man. That gay men aren’t stereotypes, that hunters can be gay and settle down and especially that gay romance doesn’t change the theme of the story. The big take away from this episode is that it shows the general audience that men like Dean Winchester can be gay/bisexual.
  • Hannah – 10x17 – This was a real eye opener for any Cas x Hannah shippers. Because Cas didn’t treat Hannah any different, and he had exactly the same warmth and affection for Hannah in her male vessel that he did in her female vessel. Basically this was a nice punch in the face for any homophobes watching. SPN doesn’t care about your heteronormative ships. You wanna ship Hannah x Cas? Fine! But Hannah’s in a dudes body now and guess what? Cas doesn’t care! How do you feel about THAT?
  • God is Bisexual – 11x20 – This was just a nice big fuck you to homophobes everywhere. Don’t like queer characters? This is NOT the show for you! Because in our world even GOD is queer! Yay for LGBT representation! It works as a buffer because once again it is sending a message to the general audience that this is the kind of thing you can expect on our show. We are changed now.
  • Dean rides Larry – 12x11 – Okay so maybe it’s not an obvious buffer, but it is kind of a subliminal message so I’m counting it. Dean riding that damn bull was the most sexual scene we have had on this show in seasons (and no that god awful thing that happened in 12x02 doesn’t count – nor does the same god awful thing from 12x08). The jokes alone, the sexual innuendos. This entire episode is loaded with subliminal messages basically screaming at the general audience to maybe just consider the fact that Dean likes guys.
  • 12x06/12x20 – Max Banes – like Jesse and Cesar Max works as a buffer because he is another way to get the general audience used to the idea that characters that are similar to Dean Winchester can be queer and it’s no big deal. Max is badass, funny, smart and charming and also 100% canonically queer (whether gay or bi we know textually that he is totally into dudes). Sam and Dean don’t bat an eyelid at his sexuality, so neither should the audience. It is just one part of his character and certainly not what his story is all about. Max is proof that you can have a queer character who is a badass and a hunter whose story is basically nothing to do with their sexuality. Their sexuality just happens to be a part of who they are.
  • And finally – Destiel – season 12 – I’m making this its own buffer because honestly? There is no way to view Dean and Cas’s relationship as non-romantic at this point. I think that the writers have slowly been turning up the dial on Destiel probably since 11x18. 12x19 really drummed it in for us though. The angel/human love themes of 12x10, the textual “I love you” in 12x12, the MIXTAPE and everything else about 12x19. This is all preparation. It is indeed a build up to a reveal. Destiel is it’s own buffer and even if people do still accuse it of ‘coming out of nowhere’ once it goes canon, all the writers have to do is gesture at season 12 and the fucking mixtape scene and say to those people “in what universe does the gifting of a mixtape between people who are not explicitly related NOT have romantic connotations?” Only a fool would argue with that if they had any knowledge of pop culture history. Sorry, but that’s the truth.

Anyway, that’s my thoughts on that. A show with a long established audience about to make a move that could potentially appear (but not really) out of left field would need to build up that move through a series of well thought out buffers, symbols, themes and subliminal messages before actually making it.

Like how Benjamin was the writers way of normalising Cas’s female vessel, the past two seasons have been a journey to normalise bi!dean and destiel in preparation for making both of these things explicitly canon. Yes we still have a way to go - it still needs to be stated explicitly in the text that Dean is into guys, in love with Cas bla bla bla, but we are getting there.

In summary. Destiel is endgame. Dean is bisexual. The general audience better learn to throw their heteronormative goggles in the bin because this is the state of this show right now, and it is good. 

Friendly reminder that Dean does NOT even have to be bisexual to date Cas, because:

  • Castiel literally isn’t male. It is canon that the angels in general are agender/nonbinary. I mean, obviously he’s not female either, but:

  • Dean is perfectly aware of the fact that angels are actually genderless/sexless celestial beings  (“You have been with a woman before? Or an angel, at least?”) and yet he’s slept with the angel Anna (note: the angel that was supposed to replace Cas). 

  • Even if Dean’s straight… and even if we take into consideration that Castiel’s vessel is male (which doesn’t really matter) or that he may actually identify as a male at this point or whatever: you do NOT have to be bisexual to fall in love with a person of the same gender. You can be a straight guy and still fall in love with another guy (or anyone that’s not a woman), because:

  • Love. Isn’t. About. Fucking. Yes, Castiel’s vessel is male, but it’s not like we fall in love with other people’s genitals, right? I’m terribly sorry to break it to some of you, but not everything is about dick, so like… How about we stop making everything about sex (in every sense of the word)? I’ve seen people accusing Destiel shippers of sexualizing their relationship (yes, it’s true that there are people who just desperately want them to fuck while completely ignoring the emotional aspects of their relationship, but what can we do about it), but really – if saying “Destiel would never work because Dean is straight” (meaning: “because Dean wouldn’t want to have sex with Cas”) isn’t sexualization, than I don’t know what it is. They don’t have to bang, since their relationship is about so much more than sexual tension. You don’t have to have sex for your relationship to be valid, so seriously, this is such an ignorant thing to say, guys. It’s the fact that these two support, protect, need, love and care about each other unconditionally that makes their relationship so beautiful. The fact that they would never give up on each other. That they can communicate without saying a single word. That Cas makes Dean a better person and vice versa. That they would literally die for each other. That they care and are unable to kill one another even when they’re brainwashed or corrupted. That they would shake up Heaven and Hell for each other (and Earth, and Purgatory, and all those alternative universes, too). The way they gaze at each other. Their chemistry, loyalty, tenderness, trust, the slow burn and this damn “profound bond” – so unique, I’ve honestly never seen any canon couple share this kind of connection before. I could go on for centuries, but you get the point.

What I’m trying to say is that their relationship doesn’t have to be sexual. It’s romantic - and that’s what is special about it. It isn’t about two dudes looking hot while making out - which is actually what a lot of other show and movie makers think a queer romance mainly is, no shade. That’s why Destiel going canon would be an amazing revolution in terms of the portrayal of LBGTQA+ relationships. And I honestly don’t understand what’s so wrong with it or why anyone would be against it.

I’m sorry, that’s just the way I see it, please don’t start drama. The “Destiel can’t happen because Dean is straight” argument is just so invalid to me.

“Hello, Magnus.”

He looks up from his phone and stands as Maryse draws nears, her footsteps careful on the pavement as she glances hesitantly at the mundanes around her, their hands waving as they sip at tea and lattes on the Brooklyn street. There’s a bite in the air, that first brisk hint of a breeze that comes with tumble-down leaves and New York City, and Magnus can feel it fresh on his skin.

“Maryse, how are you?” he asks mildly, sitting back down as she pulls her chair out. “Shall we order coffee?”

Magnus flags the waitress down with a raised hand, smiling at the young woman who drops by the table, blonde hair scattered over her forehead, pen tucked behind her ear. Maryse orders an Americano, and Magnus stares at her in mild surprise as he orders the same.

She smiles slowly, a careful, sincere thing that Magnus recognizes in a heartbeat. It’s Isabelle’s smile, and Alexander’s smile, though older, more fatigued, more world-weary. Exhausted, maybe, but beautiful still.

“Coffee is something we have in common, I suppose,” she says.

Something besides Alec, Magnus thinks.

The waitress returns, steaming mugs in her hands as she sets the coffee down with a pretty grin. Magnus wraps his fingers around the ceramic, the heat seeping into his hands even as the breeze tickles his nose with the chill. He takes a slow breath as he watches Maryse take a tiny sip, head bowed over her cup.

“I called you because I wanted to talk about Alexander,” he says without preamble.

Maryse freezes, cup hovering halfway between the table and her lips. Her jaw tenses, face immediately going stiff as she puts her drink down and sits up straight, fingers digging into the smooth white tablecloth like she’s already prepared for a bloody battle.

“What about Alec?” Her voice is hard, like heat-treated steel and diamond all melded into one.

Magnus watches her as he rubs his thumb idly over the handle of his cup, breathing in the bitter, cutting scent of coffee. Maryse’s hackles are raised, parental instincts activated from the moment he mentions her son’s name. Something inside his chest clenches at the sight of it, and Magnus wonders… they haven’t talked about it, but…

Someday. Maybe.

“I wanted to let you know that I’m going to ask Alexander to marry me.”

For an instant, it’s like Brooklyn stops around them, the bustle of people slowing to a standstill as Maryse’s eyes widen, as her fingers claw into fists, nails digging crescents into her palms as she stares at Magnus.

“Marry,” she says bluntly, though not unkindly. “Marry you.”

“Yes.”

A modicum of tension seeps away from her muscles. “You… have you –”

“No, I haven’t asked yet.” Magnus sets his cup down and plants his elbows firmly on the edge of the table, arms crossing as he leans forward, drawing just a bit closer to her. “And I’m not asking for your permission. I just want you to be aware, because regardless of our history, we’ve reached a common ground, and…  I do respect you, Maryse. I’d rather you know than be blindsided should he say yes.”

Maryse swallows, throat working, and suddenly the remaining pressure in her body evaporates like helium disappeared from a balloon. She hunches over her coffee, staring into its liquid brown depths. Magnus feels concern bubbling up inside of him, and he starts to get out of his chair to reach for her.

She looks up, eyes soft as she smiles, gentle and a little bit sad. “I’m fine. I’m just thinking,” she says simply.

The silence that follows hovers between comfortable and strange, the emptiness punctuated by clinking glass and hesitant slurps of coffee. Magnus glances up at Maryse, almost amused at the way she stares back at him, unyielding, the exchange like a silent conversation in their heads about the man they both love. Her eyes say marriage won’t be easy, and Magnus answers with I know.

“Do you have the ring with you?” she asks suddenly, face going faintly pink at the curiosity in her question.

Magnus smiles at pats at his coat pocket where a little wooden box is nestled in the velvet lining, something he’s been carrying around with him for weeks now. “I do,” he tells Maryse. “But I’d rather Alec see it first.”

She draws back. “Right.”

Magnus sighs, putting his hand in his pocket and playing with the hard edges of the box, thinking of the simple gold ring that sits inside. “If… if Alexander says yes, I’m sure you’ll be among the first to see it.”

“He’ll say yes,” Maryse says without pause, voice so unexpectedly resolute that Magnus feels a smile grip him. Maryse looks at him contemplatively, lingering on his eyes, her previous melancholy gradually disappearing. “Alec… he doesn’t let anybody else call him that, you know. He won’t let me call him that anymore.” She sighs, a wry grin twisting on her face. “You’re the only one.”

You’re the only one.

Something swells in Magnus’ throat, thick and heavy so that it’s hard to swallow down the feeling welling behind his eyes. He knows Maryse can see it from the way her gaze softens, the way her lips quirk kindly, the way she looks at him like a mother looks at the man who loves her son.

“I know,” Magnus manages to say to her, the sound of his words barely a whisper above the Sunday crowd. “I know.”

Honestly can’t wait for jaime to get to winterfell..can you imagine the interactions..brienne…starks…BRAN… northerners….snarking at jon…daenerys when she finds out cersei’s not coming…

Immortal FAHC AU where instead of dying and respawning, they just don’t die.

Someone tries to poison Geoff and watches vindictively as the foam spills from his mouth… and then clears right up. Geoff simply regains his breathing, glares at the man frozen in shock and pulls a gun on him.

Jack is once held under water for twenty minutes. Her chest burns and her eyes burn and her body is too weak to fight back after some time but it just won’t let her give in to death. In the end, it’s her killer who gives up and lets her go, and he’s long gone by the time she’s done coughing all the water out.

Gavin is taken hostage, beaten, tortured. Eventually they get sick of his snarky comments and the lack of information he’s giving them. So they slit his throat. Gavin laughs hysterically at them with blood bubbling in his mouth.

Michael emerges from a misplaced explosion covered head to toe in burns. His clothes are singed, his hair missing in patches. But he still has a wicked grin on his face and his minigun in his hands.

A rival sniper once shoots Ray clean through the head. Ray doesn’t even flinch. The other sniper watches through her scope as he merely shrugs nonchalantly at the blood trickling down his nose.

Ryan in a gunfight and he’s clearly outnumbered, taking shot after shot after shot. But he never falls, despite the blood pooling at his feet. The enemy gang members just see a black skull and a figure drenched in glistening dark red.

Police drag Jeremy out of a car wreck after they drive him into a wall. His arms are broken, his leg is broken, his collarbone is broken, blood is running from a gash on his head. But he is conscious and somehow still able to fight back, get a few punches in and run for it despite his bent and misshapen limbs.

It’s terrifying and unnatural and puts everyone completely off of even trying to kill them, because they know they will be the ones who end up getting killed instead.

Because killing the Fake AH Crew is an impossible task.

the novelization of Attack of the Clones showed Shmi being happy and surrounded by people who loved her and doing stuff like instigating food fights and why couldn’t we have had a glimpse of her life like that in the movie?! 

Also she and Beru were implied to have a great pseudo-mother-daughter relationship and I feel like there needs to be more material expanding on that. Where’s my Shmi and Beru bonding time?!

I’ve discovered it’s very hard to get annoyed with screaming children in a store when you comment about it. 

And I don’t mean “Holy shit. Control Your Kid!”

Both my sister and I usually come across about one screaming child when we do the household shop for the week and we usually end up snickering when we make comments like this:

“Same.” - usually, drawn out and almost monotoned

“Well, someone hates shopping!”

“Oh, honey. I feel the same but you gotta learn to internalise that shit.” (I laughed when my sister said this)

“I know. Life is so hard.”

“Nice lungs kid!”

“I know. The world is horrible. Life sucks and taxes exist.” - This was said to the screaming child in the next checkout lane as we were paying. It made the two cashiers and the mum laugh when you could tell one of the cashiers was starting to get annoyed.

Sometimes, a kid just needs to scream. Instead of getting annoyed, make a funny comment! Sympathise with them! It’s so much better than getting pissy over something no one can really control.

Marriage Material - Part 4 - Jim Kirk

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Summary: in this chapter, what’s his is yours.

Warnings: language

A/N: i love this part


You sat atop the bathroom counter and swung your legs. You were careful not to strike Jim with your toes, smiling apologetically each time you accidentally made contact. You were even more careful to not smile for very long, though. You had an irritated facial expression to maintain.

It wasn’t that Jim took a long time slipping his command gold tunic on and brushing the blond locks that always managed to smell so clean out of his absurdly blue eyes— it was that he took an obscene amount of time to do so. Especially on the days it was his turn to go first, especially when he saw you waiting with a scowl and furrowed eyebrows.

He liked that you didn’t take your eyes from him, that you sat atop a damp counter feigning impatience, that you could have just as well waited elsewhere. He also very much liked when you offered to brush his hair for him— you said you were faster and it saved time, but he didn’t care about that. He just liked when you’d rake your fingers through for no real reason and your nails would scratch against his scalp ever so slightly. He’d caught himself humming and shutting his eyes each and every time.

Of course, it’d only been ten days and you were still in your accidental honeymoon phase— at least that’s what Leonard called it whenever he could get the opportunity to. You hated it, but you couldn’t help but admit to its validity. You’d only been living with Jim for ten days, married for eleven, and you still found his annoying quirks easy to deal with and even endearing. Furthermore, you weren’t bitterly resentful quite yet— and you knew that must have been looming.

As you watched him lean towards his reflection, narrowing his eyes at himself, you scoffed. “Seriously?”

He looked at you and raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“I think some stars were born when you started and, like, five of them have already died.” You pointed out the bathroom door at the window located several feet away, sighing, “There goes another. You know how long a star’s lifetime is, Jim?”

He smiled to himself as he slipped the gold tunic over his black undershirt. “How long, starlight?”

“On average, millions of years.” You raised your eyebrows and crossed your arms over your chest. “You’ve taken millions of years to brush your stupid teeth, dry your stupid hair, and put on your stupid uniform— and you still have to brush your hair.”

Keep reading

drawing i did for my lucisev mix 

So You Want to Write Drarry: A Google Search Starter Pack

Synonyms for ‘idiot’

Synonyms for ‘snob’

British slang for ‘angry sex’

British slang for ‘sexy brawling’

What’s that word when you’re fighting but not like fighting fighting, more like angry flirting

What’s that word when you’re fighting and it’s fighting fighting, not the other thing

Lubrication Potion or Spell

Do people even have silver eyes 

How green is verdant

Is it Aviary or Owlery

How many times can a character sneer in one paragraph before it gets old

How many times can a character shrug in one paragraph before it gets old

Is snarky a word people actually use

Define ‘tosspot’

Are Harry and Draco millennials

  • Suzaku: *kisses Lelouch breathless against Student Council wall* We should...uh, probably move this somewhere more private... *flicks eyes diagonally up*
  • Lelouch: Are you inviting yourself to my room?
  • Suzaku: Well, I'd invite you to mine, but it's ALL THE WAY across the street. And you know, logistics...
  • Lelouch: L-logistics... *starry-eyed SWOON*

Rebelcaptain RomCom Challenge - He’s Just Not That Into You

…if he’s not marrying you

Jyn is 8 years old when her father leaves her. The sight of him walking away will always haunt her - the careful steps, slow and measured, the way his body stayed facing straight ahead, like he wasn’t even tempted to look back. She sees it every time someone new walks into her life, imagines what they would look like leaving her. Except when she meets Cassian Andor.

Hesitant at first, she soon lets him into her life, and her heart. Cassian’s by her side for seven years, sharing laughter, love and lots of tea. He feels the need for nothing more, against the idea of marriage on principle. When her brother Bodhi announces his pending nuptials, Jyn’s old insecurities surface. Afraid of being left behind again, this time Jyn is the one to walk away.