getting old


I bet you thought u probably weren’t getting anything from me @quirky-artzy-muffin . With your ugly slow self, I am jk. Really though try and have a good day and enjoy yourself. I know you wanted me to draw chu like this for a while so ye, it has become your birthday gift. Happy birthday to you and I will skype you later today. Woopty woop, you are now 19. 

  • 10 year old son:Mom can I download this game?
  • Me:Let me check it out real quick first, sometimes games look like they are for kids when they really aren't. What ages does it say it's for?
  • 10 year old son:Oh...oh wait, it says 21+...I don't think...I don't think it is for kids.
  • Me:It says 21 and up? Like, it isn't recommended until three years after you are a legal adult? I don't get it, is it like a drinking game or something?
  • 10 year old son:Well...I guess some day when I'm a real old guy in a robe that's too short, with a pipe and a wife and a glass of wine I will finally be able to download this app.
  • Me:Well buddy, I'm just glad to hear you have life goals.

You eventually start to lose your hatred for “sell-outs” and “company men.” People who suffer in shitty, soul-draining jobs because they can’t sack up and try for something more. Don’t get me wrong. I still hate sycophantic hacks who compensate for their mediocrity with kiss-up bullshit, too scared to live and die based on their merit, but I don’t resent people for how they pay the bills. Like, sure, it might seem easy to criticize Ann Coulter for professionally spreading misinformation and hatred for a living, but perhaps she’s saving up to pay off her medical bills from the surgical removal of her heart and soul.

5 Things You Judge Less Harshly When You’re Old

Got My Haircut Yesterday

When your regular hairstylist gasps as she’s cutting your hair, you know it’s bad.   And, it was. She said, “OMG. In the six weeks since you were last in, you’ve developed a tiny patch of gray hair by your right ear.”

It’s only a patch of about 5 hairs but this is how it starts.

*Cue tears.*
Scientists have finally identified the gene involved in turning hair grey
This one gene could predict whether you'll go grey.
By Fiona MacDonald

For the first time, researchers have identified a gene that’s involved in hair turning grey. And only people with European ancestry carried it, which could explain why some people can keep their nature colour into old age, while the rest of us start seeing grey hairs before our 30th birthdays (thank you, parents).

Scientists have long understood how our hair turns grey - as we age, stop producing as much of a pigment called melanin - but they haven’t been able to figure out why, or, more importantly, how to stop it. Understanding the gene involved in the process could change that, and could potentially lead to new treatments to avoid grey hair altogether.

“We already know several genes involved in balding and hair colour but this is the first time a gene for greying has been identified in humans, as well as other genes influencing hair shape and density,” said one of the researchers, Kaustubh Adhikari, from University College London.

I Wanted to Cut Her

My insurance company and my previous doctor parted ways so I met with my new internist today. Our relationship did not get off to a warm start.

During my physical, as she was taking my medical history, she pointed to a line on my face and asked, “How did you get that scar?" 

Ummm, that’s not a scar. It’s technically a nasolabial fold or in layman’s terms, "a laugh line”. As Wikipedia points out:

With ageing the fold may become more pronounced. 

And just between us peeps, if I’m being totally honest, when I hear the word, nasolabial, the face isn’t the first part of the body that comes to mind. 

Getting old really sucks labias or nasos or both.