getting old

Birthday Musings

It’s my birthday today and I always loved this little exchange between Jamie and Claire in The Fiery Cross, so great excuse to post it!

“How did ye ken what I was doing? Taking stock, as ye say?”

I let him keep hold of the hand, but shifted to set my chin in the center of his chest, where a small depression seemed made for the purpose.

“I always do that, when I have a birthday—though I generally do it the night before. More looking back, I think, reflecting a bit on the year that’s just gone. But I do check things over; I think perhaps everyone does. Just to see if you’re the same person as the day before.”

“I’m reasonably certain that I am,” he assured me. “Ye dinna see any marked changes, do ye?”

I lifted my chin from its resting place and looked him over carefully. It was in fact rather hard to look at him objectively; I was both so used to his features and so fond of them that I tended to notice tiny, dear things about him—the freckle on his earlobe, the lower incisor pushing eagerly forward, just slightly out of line with its fellows—and to respond to the slightest change of his expression—but not really to look at him as an integrated whole.

He bore my examination tranquilly, eyelids half-lowered against the growing light. His hair had come loose while he slept and feathered over his shoulders, its ruddy waves framing a face strongly marked by both humor and passion—but which possessed a paradoxical and most remarkable capacity for stillness.

“No,” I said at last, and set my chin down again with a contented sigh. “It’s still you.

  • 10 year old son:Mom can I download this game?
  • Me:Let me check it out real quick first, sometimes games look like they are for kids when they really aren't. What ages does it say it's for?
  • 10 year old son:Oh...oh wait, it says 21+...I don't think...I don't think it is for kids.
  • Me:It says 21 and up? Like, it isn't recommended until three years after you are a legal adult? I don't get it, is it like a drinking game or something?
  • 10 year old son:Well...I guess some day when I'm a real old guy in a robe that's too short, with a pipe and a wife and a glass of wine I will finally be able to download this app.
  • Me:Well buddy, I'm just glad to hear you have life goals.

You eventually start to lose your hatred for “sell-outs” and “company men.” People who suffer in shitty, soul-draining jobs because they can’t sack up and try for something more. Don’t get me wrong. I still hate sycophantic hacks who compensate for their mediocrity with kiss-up bullshit, too scared to live and die based on their merit, but I don’t resent people for how they pay the bills. Like, sure, it might seem easy to criticize Ann Coulter for professionally spreading misinformation and hatred for a living, but perhaps she’s saving up to pay off her medical bills from the surgical removal of her heart and soul.

5 Things You Judge Less Harshly When You’re Old

Got My Haircut Yesterday

When your regular hairstylist gasps as she’s cutting your hair, you know it’s bad.   And, it was. She said, “OMG. In the six weeks since you were last in, you’ve developed a tiny patch of gray hair by your right ear.”

It’s only a patch of about 5 hairs but this is how it starts.

*Cue tears.*