getting jumped

Show Me That You Love Me

(ao3, buzzfeed article that inspired this nonsense)

(Monday, Feb 6)

Clarke: FYI, I’m telling my coworkers that we’re dating so this creep will stop hitting on me

Bellamy: You can’t just leave it at that.
How creepy are we talking?  
You know if I don’t get specifics my mind jumps straight to the worst-case scenario.

Clarke: It’s not that big a deal? Mostly just annoying
But he won’t take no for an answer so I told him I had a boyfriend

Bellamy: Not a girlfriend?

Clarke: They know I’m bi already because I ranted about gross stereotypes at the Christmas party
It’s why they instituted a two-drink limit
And if he doesn’t respect my hard “no” I doubt he’ll respect my girlfriend’s so

Bellamy: You sure you don’t want to date him? He sounds like a charmer.

Clarke: I was sure the first fifteen times he asked and my decision hasn’t wavered.
I wouldn’t have even mentioned it to you except I know Anya comes to the bar sometimes and I didn’t want you to blow my cover

Bellamy: Consider your cover secure.

Clarke: Thanks. I owe you one.

Bellamy: What are fake boyfriends for?

* * *

(Wednesday, Feb 8)

Clarke: WTF???

Bellamy: I see you got my flowers.

Clarke: They’re hard to miss seeing as they take up MY WHOLE CUBICLE
It smells like a rainforest
My allergies are killing me
Seriously. Why.

Bellamy: Can’t I just show my fake girlfriend that I appreciate her?
Why must you always assume I have ulterior motives?

Clarke: Because I know how expensive flowers can be and you’re the biggest coupon-clipping Scrooge I know

Bellamy: I’m helping!
I’m just trying to back up your story, Princess.

Clarke: You’re just trying to embarrass me in front of my coworkers is what you’re doing

Bellamy: Remember that time you made me do karaoke with you?
Some might consider us even now.

Clarke: You know Valentine’s Day is next week right? If you do something like this on a random Wednesday, you’re going to have to do something for that too or else Cage will think we’ve broken up

Bellamy: So I’m going to have to top myself is what you’re saying.

Clarke: I don’t think that’s what I said at all

Bellamy: If you insist, Princess.

Clarke: I don’t insist. I STRONGLY DO NOT INSIST.

Bellamy: Unrelated question: what song would you most like to have serenaded to you?

Clarke: If that’s how it’s gonna be then start preparing yourself
Cause it’s on, Blake

Bellamy: Dammit, I did not think this through.

Keep reading

i love how araki gets into ultra jump and immediately starts making more dick and ball jokes

like, the manga’s officially seinen now, and his reaction to being able to get away with more mature and adult content is

more dick jokes

anonymous asked:

So, in your spn au, how do Alex and Eliza actually meet? You imply that they've worked together for a while before getting together, so how does that happen?

Okay, good question! FYI, my partner in this AU crime, @minky-for-short did some kickass art for the exact moment you’re asking about!

Them meeting was actually a complete accident, they just kind of ran into each other when they were on the trail of the same monster. Alex was doing his usual MO of not being careful enough and being reckless while Eliza was tracking it calmly and cautiously, ready to do the job properly. So of course Alex gets his ass jumped and Eliza hears this roaring and these screams and goes to help, she doesn’t even think twice about it, thats just who she is. 

So she saves a battered and bruised Alex, who is lying on the ground looking very bewildered and surprised at this incredibly pretty girl who’s just saved him and sliced a vampires head off in one smooth motion? He genuinely thinks he’s dead and she’s an angel for half a second. But then his pride and arrogance catches up to him and he just mumbles, “I had it under control…”

He didn’t but that makes Eliza laugh. She offers to patch him up back at her place and they’re talking while she does and they just kind of click instantly so Eliza surprises herself when the offer for him to team up with her just kinda slips out. Alex is even more surprised with himself when he says yes. 

Curtis Sister Imagine

Request: can you make a Curtis little sister imagine where she gets jumped on the way back from school? you don’t have to if you don’t want to

a/n- I hope this is okay, sorry for the wait. I know it’s not very good. :))) 

Today you were dying to get out of school since it was the Friday before Spring Break. You sprang out of you seat and shoved all of your stuff in your backpack as the final bell rang. You started making your way to your brother’s locker so you could walk home together, you noticed he wasn’t rummaging through his locker like usual. You groaned, remembering Pony had practice for his track meet on Saturday. You decided that you’d just walk home, since you didn’t want to wait at the school until 5 o’clock.

You made your way to the back field to tell Pony your plan. “Pony!” you called, approaching the track team. His head turned immediately upon hearing his little sister’s voice. “Hey y/n, we should be done around 5. You don’t mind waiting do you?” He smiled sheepishly. “About that Pone, I think I’m gonna walk.” He scratched the back of his head nervously. “I don’t know y/n, I’m not itching to get in a fight with Darry if I let you walk home alone and somethin’ happens to you.” 

“I bet I can catch Johnny if I hurry. Please Pony?” you asked giving him your famous puppy dogs eyes, none of your brothers could resist. “Curtis we’re starting, get over here!” the coach barked. Pony hurriedly replied, “Okay fine but you better be smart. I’ll see you at home!” Your eyes lit up, “Thanks Pone. See ya!” 

You jogged to the path to get home, and saw Johnnycake not to far up ahead. “Hey Johnny wait up!” you shouted. He jumped slightly, but stopped so you could catch up. “Hey y/n! Where’s Pone?” he asked taking your books for you. “He’s at practice as usual.” You rolled your eyes while chuckling. 

The majority of the walk you guys talked about spring break. About 5 minutes away from your neighborhood, a blue mustang slowly began to trail behind the two of you. Johnny noticed as well, giving you a nervous glance. “Just act like we haven’t noticed, if they get too close we can run to my house.” you whispered into Johnny’s ear. He nodded and you linked your arm with his. 

As soon as you were approaching the lot, 4 boys hopped out of the Mustang and your heart sank. You started to run off in the direction of your house, and Johnny began to follow. But, tripped & dropped your books all over the sidewalk. “Johnny come on, just leave em there!” He scrambled to get up and was desperately trying to pick up everything he dropped. 

One of the boys grabbed Johnny and the books flew out of his hands for the second time that day. You were torn in between running to get help or going back & rescuing Johnnycake. You sprinted back to the lot, only thinking about getting Johnny away from the dangerous situation. You grabbed the soc by the shoulder that had Johnny, and decked him. “Oh you’re going to pay for that sweetheart.”

The other 3 boys started towards you, and you put your fists up ready to defend yourself. They laughed in response and you knew you were fucking screwed. You were tiny in comparison to them, but none the less you were going to fight with everything in you. Simultaneously, they tried to pin you to the ground. You fought with all your might, fists and feet thrashing around. “Grab ‘er legs. Grab ‘er legs!” one of them shouted angrily. All of your limbs were harshly pinned against the hard gravel. 

“HEY! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” you had never been more relieved to hear Dally’s thick New York accent. The three boys were torn from you, and you sat up to see Two-Bit and Dallas team up to beat the holy hell out of them. The fourth was still whaling on Johnny, so with all of your strength you tried to get him off of Johnny. Catching him off guard, he stumbled backwards and you screamed for Johnny to run. Both of you sprinted to the Curtis house, and hoped Dal and Two would be okay. 

10 minutes later, Dallas and Keith burst into the living room sweaty and out of breath. Keith had your books and set down down on the coffee table, before collapsing on the couch, Dallas following. Luckily, nothing too serious happened to any of you. Damn, you were glad Johnny didn’t walk home by himself. You all heartily agreed not to tell the Curtis boys, not wanting to deal with their wrath. 


Mornings in St. Petersburg 
or alternatively titled: Viktor Nikiforov’s Instagram is A Katsuki Yuuri Appreciation Account

Poor Yurio can’t catch a break, even over long distance video calls (Viktor you act oblivious but we all know otherwise)


tfw you double a quad combination and so you then throw in a quad-double and a triple axel and end up with a season’s best high score