getting close

hey guys! guess who’s running behind on aesthetics again??? hahahaaa this is just a small post to say sorry for how erratically i run this blog, & to let you all know that over the next couple of days i’m gonna be super busy, so whilst i’ll try to find time to make these aesthetics, it’s gonna be a lot harder than usual! thank you all for your understanding & patience, love you! 

                       the past six months have been consistent steps forward, which is unusual given the nature of the towering male. life had finally begun to treat him fairly and although he’s unsure as to WHY – he doesn’t bother to question it. some would scoff at the thought of omar getting the short end of the stick – but reality it had inevitably come c r a s h i n g down around him the moment he left the confinements of his home back in morocco. his parents weren’t there to analyze his every move or to push him out of the bed when his days felt like years. he relied on his own self-discipline to get him where he wanted to be & he’d done exactly that. 

                      but he can’t eradicate all the small bumps in between. all the one night stands he’d settled on when his heart began to miss them too much. he’d grown accustomed to waking up to strangers & lowering his expectations whenever he c r e p t into bed with them. nobody compared – NOTHING compared – to the feelings that his ex-beloved had sparked within him.  no matter how hard he TRIED – he just couldn’t shake them. his vicious cycle was broken by the glimmering hue of their eyes & how their words rushed from their lips like an ecstatic child. MISSING THEM – that’s the biggest understatement he’s ever conjured up in that chaotic cerebrum of his. 

                      right now: he’s fine. he’s the finest he’s been in months. he can think of them without getting a headrush & he likes to think that’s pretty impressive given how FUCKED UP he once was. he’s numbed the pain with working extra hours & doing extensive research on things he doesn’t necessarily need to be enveloped in. right – but it makes his breathing a little easier & his heart hurt a little less & god knows how much he needs that. he’s making the sharp turn to room 402 – having been assigned a patient with minor concerns. it’s not his favorite thing to do but he does it in order to look good. his heart sinks in his chest as his eyes meet with the familiar vessel perched uneasily upon the sizeable hospital bed. this HAD to be a joke – he absolutely HAD to be dreaming. regardless, he’d have to remain as FORMAL as he can be. cue the clearing of his throat as he mentally shakes the thoughts from out of his clouded head.        ‘     right – uh, what seems to be the problem ?   ‘

man, i always idenfied myself with Kellam from Fire Emblem Awakening, but it never gotten to this point

i was having lunch with dad earlier today and we met my aunt and her girlfriend there. she came up to my father, greeted him and asked if he was by himself. note that i was sitting right next to him. he then replied with the most puzzled expression “no, Gui is with me”, and pointed to me, and i don’t think i’ll ever forget her surprised face when she realized i was there and slowly looked in my direction. it actualy took her a few seconds to snap out of it before she greeted me as well lol 

#HIDEWEEK - Day 03 [ ♠ ] Autumn