So I read your post on why phan didn't split in 2012 but it keeps bothering me that Dan put on this act of being a dick? Like why would he do that? I know that it was probably just an act and a way to build up a barrier with his audience but if you look at him now he is the sweetest person? I don't understand why he would do that, that's obviously not Dan back in 2012-2013 era... I hope I'm making sense
I get you anon. (post for context)
I mean you can look at all his videos throughout that time, and watch the liveshows and he’s still the Dan we know today. But try to put yourself in his shoes in that time:
Reaching 1 million subscribers,
His audience bullying his brother,
His integrity being tied
There was lots of pressure on him, he realized that there is only so much he can control. And also he took himself dropping out of law school really hard. Because he wanted to do something that no one else has heard of, and what if it failed? What if his youtube career never took off? You can see how hard he tried in those times, making videos weekly (or haha as close to weekly as he could) he joined contests, and giveaways, literally everything just so he didn’t sink. It was his form of income. Let’s also not forget how much they were nearly struggling for the first few months when they moved to London.
He was stressed out of his mind. Of course he had to build a barrier, toughen himself up, make this mask for himself to feel safe behind because when you have hundreds of thousands of people coming after you, yelling at you, yelling at your family, wanting this relationship to be real and pronounced, that’s terrifying. Something so dear and personal to both of them needed to be tucked away for a bit just so they can build themselves up without the whole world knowing.
Dan wasn’t always a dick, he was, what I’d say, a roasted marshmallow: crispy on the outside but gooey on the inside. Daniel Howell is still this marshmallow of a person, who isn’t afraid anymore because he’s grown comfortable with his audience, knows how to moderately control his audience with what he does, and finally okay with showing what he loves. It’s a long road, but it’s a beautiful one. Because we’re all growing as people, and it’s okay to change, even if you have to put on a face that isn’t yours for a bit. If it helps you get where you need to be, it’s worth it.