getting blitzed

Random (mostly domestic) Blitzstone headcanons:

  • Blitzen loves pumpkin spice. Absolutely loves it. Hearthstone doesn’t get it but he always buys him some when he can anyway, whether Blitz asked him to or not.
  • Hearth loves Blitzen’s hair. He loves feeling it and will play with it when he gets the chance. 
  • Blitz complains about him killing his hair/hurting his head when he plays with it but lets him do it anyway.
  • When Blitzen finds out about stop motion animation he is super impressed with the technical aspects of it and loves it.
  • Hearth is such a freaking cuddler, but he’s only comfortable when he’s the one to initiate contact with people.
  • (big spoon all the way)
  • They kind of wanted to get Magnus birthday presents, but they both feel like they can’t because they couldn’t keep him alive on his last one.
  • They didn’t need to say it, they both felt it separately and didn’t want to bring it up because they feel too guilty about failing to protect him, even if he is happy now. 
  • Hearth is a little older.
  • Blitzen starts watching mortal TV and gets hooked on Project Runway// and Say Yes to the Dress// (One’s his drama show, the other’s his comfort show)
  • This gets him thinking about how many weddings he knows end in violent battles and he starts designing a line of Battle Ready Wedding Wear.
  • Hearth cries at movies with found family plots. A lot.
  • Neither of them actually consume that much media, they’re usually too busy with their work/magic pursuits. 
  • They had a lot of free time and nothing to do when they were hiding out in the safe house so they got into most of it then.
  • After enough time has passed, Blitzen can’t get away with anything because Hearth pulls the, “Last time you didn’t listen to me you almost died in my arms” card.
2

“Okay, so I tried to murder a teacher and I’m still talking about my mother sending me away in favour of her admirers some 70 years later, but trauma? Agony? Me? Nah, I’m fine. Totally fine. And in no way scarred by my experiences.”

(with thanks to Brigid Mahony - brigidichka - over on Twitter for this one!)

Bad news: Quantico wont be finished tonight

Good news: because I got caught up in a scene where Sculy essentially attempts to fuck Mulder’s demons out and I suspect you perverse monkeys will enjoy the longer version of that more than the brief allusion I had planned :’D

  • imagine hearth & blitz getting closer and closer to kissing or confessing or something like that but hearth being worried and continually pulling away bc he doesn’t think he can be happy bc he’s an empty cup & he doesn’t want to hurt blitz
  • and eventually blitz confronts him about why he’s sabotaging their relationship, bc blitz knows that hearth loves him too so why does he keep backing away?
  • and hearth tries to pretend nothing’s wrong or that he’s not avoiding blitz and the situation but eventually he admits that he’s afraid learning magic & accepting being an empty cup means he can’t be happy and if they try, something awful might happen and he doesn’t want to risk that, doesn’t want to risk blitz, their friendship, the best thing he’s ever had in his life
  • and blitz just kind of shakes his head and calls him “you silly elf”
  • “if something like that happens, we’ll deal with it the way we always have- together
  • and hearth leans down and kisses him, near tears, and even though hearth is leaning down blitz still has to stand on his tippy toes, and he’s grabbing onto hearth’s scarf like hearth might try to pull away again, but he doesn’t. and he never does again. 
CALLING FOR GUEST ARTISTS!

Hello! RetailPony needs some guest artists to keep the blog active for a while. Unfortunately, mod has 3 jobs and also studies, so RetailPony has to be placed on the back-burner for a while, art-wise. I just don’t have the willpower just at the moment!


Please either contact me here or go to my mod blog, @thesolarsister and send an ask or message if you’re interested in doing a post or two! You can go as detailed or as basic as you wish - I will provide you with an ask (or more, if you would like) and Blitz’s response, and you can take it as you would like from there.


I’d really, really appreciate it, and as a thank you, I’ll either sketch your OC in a variety of poses (or a pony of your choice)…

Or, if you help produce multiple blog posts, I will make your OC (or another pony of your choice) an integral part of the next story progression! This part of the story will introduce Blitz back into her flying - something I cannot do until most current questions have been answered. Your pony can either be:
- flight instructors (non-pegasus ponies are fine!)
- other ponies also learning to fly (again, non-pegasus is fine!)
- desk workers

Also, all who contribute will have their OC as a spectator in some way or another when Blitz attempts her flying.

(Of course, Blitz will retain her retail jobs. This is just a fun way to break up the pattern of work-work-work.)


So anyway. Guest artists, please contact me!

Other Skaters Perspective on Yuri Katsuki

So…Almost every skater at least at the GPF last season, has to wonder what is up with Yuri, right? His public appearances and track record are ridiculous and unpredictable. Like from their perspective this young Japanese ice skater:

1)qualifies for the GPF, implodes on his performance and gets last place

2) gets blitzed at the after party

3) Challenges people to dance offs and wins most if not all of them with his tango/salsa, ballet and break dancing

4) Sexually pole dances with one of the most upfront and sexual characters in this show

5) Grinds against the most notable ice skater, Victor and invites him to his hot spring and begs him to be his coach

6) Uploads a video of him, perfectly performing Victor’s routine which goes viral

7) Has the 5 time Grand Prix Winner, Victor, halt his career and travel from freaking Russia to Japan to train him for months on end

8) Has an impromptu ice skating battle with russian Yuri with Victor as Judge and wins

9) Pretty consistently gains over 100 points in his short program for his VERY sexual Eros routine and surprises people with his performance regularly.

10) Is known for having amazing stamina and saving his jumps/quads in the latter half of his performance

11) Has sudden, frequent displays of affection with Victor

12) Went on a freaking hugging spree

13) Is now engaged to Victor Nikiforov

And then when they talk to him hes all shy and modest, how is their response not:

“WE ALL KNOW THERE’S WAY MORE TO YOU THAN THAT, WE’VE SEEN YOU DO SO MUCH BOTH ON AND OFF THE ICE. OVER THIS LAST YEAR, YOU HAVE VERY MUCH CHANGED THE ICE SKATING SCENE WITH IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT FROM YOU ANYMORE. ARE YOU GONNA BLOW IT AT THE GPF? ARE YOU GOING TO BLOW OUR MINDS AND EXPECTATIONS? OR ARE YOU GOING TO LITERALLY BLOW VICTOR IN FRONT OF US?!! OR ALL OF THE ABOVE? SERIOUSLY WE WONT KNOW WHAT YOU DO UNTIL YOU DO IT. THE ONLY GUARANTEES ARE THAT WE WONT BE EXPECTING IT AND WE WONT BE ABLE TO STOP YOU”

Blitzstone cheek kisses are seriously the cutest thing to me.

Casually affectionate Blitzstone that say goodbye with cheek kisses.

Hearth having to bend down to Blitz’s height.

Blitz refusing to admit he needs to stand on his toes to reach Hearth.

They don’t care if other people see cause it’s only for a second.

But a couple times when they’re in front of other people and Hearth kisses him on the lips instead Blitz is SO glad he has dark skin because he can feel himself blushing like crazy because he’s easily embarrassed by that sort of thing.

Umineko Valentine’s Dates

Beatrice and Battler: Battler takes Beatrice out to a fancy restaurant. They sip wine all night, talk shit about the family, Beatrice teases Battler and picks a fight with someone. Ronove has to come bail them out of jail.

Maria and Sakutaro: Build a fort, eat snacks, tell ghost stories. The Stakes stand outside the fort all night waiting for a chance to cuddle bomb Sakutaro.

Ange and Mammon: Study magic, get blitzed on bourbon, sloppy sex, lots of shit talking about like literally everyone.

Ange and Amakusa: See above, but without the magical study.

Shannon and George: Go to a tea house and just have pleasant small talk all night.

Jessica and Kanon: Jessica drags Kanon to a rock concert. Jessica jumps in the mosh pit. Kanon has to drag her out because she’s beat the shit out of everyone else in it. Jessica teases him, then forces him into the bathroom and fucks his brains out before they even make it to the car.\

Rudolph and Kyrie: Make a sex tape.

Ronove and Virgilia: Fine wine, a waltz, and sensual love making by the fire.

Hideyoshi and Eva: Dinner and a movie. Afterwards, come home, Hideyoshi encourages Eva to talk about her day, all while giving her a massage.

Erika and Dlanor: Erika spend the whole night talking about herself. Dlanor eventually shuts her up with a forceful kiss. Erika is shocked at first, but eventually lets Dlanor have her way with her.

Lambda and Bern: Snuff fetish bondage play. They take turns tying each other up, killing each other, and then resurrecting each other. By the end they’re both exhausted, all the blood is long since gone (magical clean up), but they’re dripping quim like a busted faucet.

@valuvi @ramblingsofthegoldenwitch This sound about right?

Blitzstone things:

- One of them coming off of anesthesia that Magnus had to put them under and saying/signing really lovey dovey things to the other, “who are you? did they send you on here? you’re the most beautiful man i’ve ever seen. your eyes are perfect” etc

- Hearth getting frustrated with how slow Blitz is walking, so he scoops him up and tries to carry him. He’s not strong enough, though, so Blitz just gets this devilish smile and, with his forger’s strength, picks up Hearth, no problem.

- Blitz creating a hat that shines natural light on Hearth’s face for stormy days (not super bright, bc that would make it impossible to see past the glare)

- Blitz forging and Hearth pumping the bellows and generally just them being a great team while they’re working

- Hearth trying out new spells and Blitz keeping busy across the room but always nearby, watching, to make sure that Hearth doesn’t overexert himself.

Add to this!!!!

dorrcha  asked:

"--'appy Valentine's Day, ya loser." It was then that you shoved a bouquet of flowers into her face.

The fact that he got you anything surprised you. Last year (Holy shit had it really been that long?), you were dealing with budding feelings for the very same shark. All you got was a box of chocolates ( like all his friends did), but this year, you really weren’t expecting much. Not to say you didn’t see anything positive about your lover, no you just weren’t used to being showered in gifts like this out of the blue. Even for holidays. The surprise your eyes held as you looked over the bouquet though, you even noticed a few flowers in the bunch that stuck out from the rest. Miltonia’s, how sweet.

To believe a year ago you had no clue what a flower truly looked like, how little you knew about Blitz, and how much you tried to deny loving this pink shark. Funny how life worked like that.

Still a bit startled, you took the bouquet shoved before you and gently grasped the sides, a dust of red starting to show over features. It was so obvious too given your milky white skin, which only caused the flush to show more than it should have, a small dusting rising to this tip of your ears. You were always so bashful when it came to subjects like these.

“–T-Thank you,” you stuttered out, shying your eyes to the floor to avoid contact with his for now, “It’s…great. I love it, but I hope you got a vase for ‘em. Ah who’m I kiddin’, you probably already have one in the kitchen.”

It was then that you smiled sheepishly, turning your attention to him as you laid the bouquet onto the coffee table, softly, only to forcefully latch yourself onto the sides of his face, pulling him down to bring your lips to his in a sweet kiss.

You were so thankful for this man in your life. He grew up so much the past year with you and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. He made you feel where others couldn’t, and you could always be yourself around him. You truly loved him.

HO HO HOE BITCH 👄🎄🎅🏾
get ready for the 12 days of DICKMAS🛐🍆👅💦
Be good little boys and girls for daddy🍼👱🏽🎅🏾dickmas and maybe you’ll wake up in the morning with a special present ⛓😈📿
Celebrate the cumming season🌬💦 by sharing good will and good pills 💊👀
Get blitzed 🕯👀with blitzen
When you hear jingle bells💋 at night look up in the sky and see daddy🍌🎅🏾 dickmas flying by, led by rudolf the well hung🐎🐎🚗 reindeer
Share with 5 of your ho ho hoes👯 and daddy dickmas will eat your cookies🖖🏼👅💦
Share with 10 and daddy might pack a little something extra in his stocking for you🐔😏
Share with 15 to be a good little girl or boy and if you share with 20 then daddy dickmas will leave you the most bangin gift
A dick
In
A
Box
Time is running out for the 12 days of dickmas⏱⏳
Get going🏃🏿 or daddy will have to put you on the naughty list🚬🎅🏾

Meow? The final part of the zodiac animals Collab.

Tonight I bring you Tiger the shiny Torracat, however one of these babies has an issue so if you see something (And this time it’s less obvious so look closely) wrong message me immediately. Now the stats on these precious babies:


Originally posted by shattered-earth

Torracat / Tiger / Male / Adamant / Blaze / Level 60 / Everstone

Thrash / Flamethrower / Scary Face / Flare Blitz

To get one deposit a male Eevee nicknamed Galla(Your IGN). only one per person.