Phew…Alright, here goes nothin’.
First’f all, I’m not one for sappy apologies, so don’t you dare take this th’ wrong way, but for once I’m gonna say sorry for takin’ so long to answer this ask. At first I brushed it off as somethin’ for Dipper and Mabel, y’know? Considerin’ my experience with “friends” is limited to, like, two guys at the fishin’ lodge and a dead-eyed, rusty gold miner…
However, uh, recent…events…yeah, th-they’ve changed my mind or whatever. So yeah, hopin’ this is still relevant t’you, anon. And if it’s not, well—just shut your yaps, alright? I give fantastic great uncle-y…advice.
Let’s just be honest right off the bat: Gettin’ close to people can be th’ best and worst thing that can ever happen t’you. You end up experiencin’ a lot together, both good and bad, and those great times are totally worth it. Still, the last thing on your mind is endin’ up in a bad place with someone you trust so much. And as much as we hate it, y’know, it…it happens sometimes.
People go their separate ways, some in more screwy ways than others, believe me. And all that stuff you mentioned? Ignorin’ you? Backstabbin’ you with other friends? Y’know what, you’ve got every right t’be upset about that! Heck, I’d be tempted give ‘em a good left hook with the ol’ brass knuckles! (Don’t do that, trust me, lawsuits will follow).
However, the issue comes when you start lettin’ it control your life.
It’s dauntin’ when y’got all these mutual friends floatin’ around while you’re tryin’ to recover; it’s a big issue’f mine, too. You might be afraid that this ex-friend is gonna start talkin’ bad about you, or they’re gonna be brought up in conversation, or that they’re just gonna flat out steal these mutual people in your life with their nerdy board games and science gloves—
Sorry, gettin’ off-topic.
In the end though, your true friends are gonna understand that your issues with this other chump are between you and that person, and over time, they’ll respect you guys’ distance. And sometimes, distance is what y’need. If you know that ex-friend’s gonna hurt you, don’t hurt yourself by tryin’ to rekindle the old flame. It’s okay to cut off communication if you haven’t already.
It’s gonna be hard, but the process is kinda like a mosquito bite: It ain’t gonna heal if you keep scratchin’ at it.
Finally, there’s gonna be a period of time—could be a week, could be…I dunno, thirty years—where you’re gonna get all fixated on your mistakes. You’ll stay up at night wonderin’ if you could’ve done somethin’ better, if you guys’ rift was your fault t’begin with, and you’ll just end up beatin’ yourself up over things you couldn’t control.
I’m gonna let you in on somethin’ I should’ve realized a long time ago, though:
Whoever that person was and whatever that person did?
…It doesn’t define you.
I’m not gonna deny that both’f you might’ve made mistakes, cause frankly, I don’t know the situation. But accepting your faults and lettin’ them go—not dwellin’ on them—is what makes you the bigger person. Whatever anyone says about you from here on out—especially this ex-friend—doesn’t change a lick about who you are now.
So yeah, anon, all this garbage is gonna hurt. But you’re gonna be able to move on. And when it’s all said and done, just proves you’re a decent person for carin’ in the first place.
And the best part? Other people are gonna see that. Whenever you feel alone? You just wait, you’re gonna make more friends someday, friends that you never even saw comin’! And you can bet your bottom dollar that those guys are gonna give you the treatment you deserve.
Cause if an old man like me’s still got someone at his side…
…Then trust me, kid; so do you.