gettin' in my way


  • “What should we drink to, sir?”
  • “So, who are your three handsome escorts?”
  • “I’m a little surprised how tall you were in real life. I mean, you’re a little fellow, but not circus-midget little, as your reputation would suggest.”
  • “I love rumours! Facts can be so misleading, where rumours, true or false, are often revealing.”
  • “Just keep your fuckin’ mouth shut. In fact, why don’t you start practising, right now!”
  • “There’s a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch.”
  • “I’ve had a gun pointed at your balls since you sat down.”
  • “But you fucked her anyway?”
  • “There ain’t nothing you want to tell me before we get out of this car, is there?” 
  • “This you and me talking, is this like a lawyer-client thing, and you can’t repeat nothing I tell you?”
  • “Hey, keep your fucking mouth shut, all right? I mean it, not one fucking word!”
  • “You keep fuckin’ with me, you’re gonna be asleep forever.”
  • “What the fuck you doin’ knockin on the door like the god damn police? You wanna die?”
  • “Is she dead, yes or no?”
  • “God damn girl, you gettin’ high already?”
  • “Shut your raggedy-ass up, and sit the fuck down!”
  • “My ass may be dumb, but I ain’t no dumbass.”
  • “So, what does it feel like to kill a man with your bare hands? It’s a topic I’m very interested in.”
  • “That’s a pretty fucking good milkshake. I don’t know if it’s worth five dollars but it’s pretty fucking good.” 
  • “Nobody kills anyone in my store except me.”
  • “Any time of the day is a good time for pie.”
  • “It’s none of your business, mister!” 
  • “Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I’m in a transitional period so I don’t wanna kill you, I wanna help you.” 
  • “You lookin at something, friend?” 
  • “Tell that fuckin’ bitch to chill!”
  • “What’s more chickenshit than fucking with a man’s automobile? I mean, don’t fuck with another man’s vehicle.”
  • “This is not my fuckin’ problem, man!”
  • “I think I cracked a rib.” 
  • “I hate to shatter your ego, but this is not the first time I’ve had a gun pointed at me.” 
  • “I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that’s when motherfuckers accidentally get shot.”
  • “Did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits that he’s wrong that he is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings?”
  • “Oh, man, I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked-up repugnant shit.” 
  • “If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.” 
  • “Well, let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.”
  • “I’m pretty fuckin’ far from okay.” 
  • “Say ‘what’ again. Say 'what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more God damn time!” 
  • “English, motherfucker, do you speak it?”
  • “I’m gonna fuckin’ die! I’m gonna fuckin’ die!”
  • “Hey, I’ve changed my mind. Shoot this piece of shit, will ya?”
  • “Motherfucker, I’m trying to watch 'The Lost Boys’!”
  • “Was that as good for you as it was for me?”
  • “You wanna fuck with me? I’ll show ya who you’re fuckin’ with!”
  • “If I was a butt cowboy, I wouldn’t even throw you to the posse.”
  • “Excuse me for not being the world’s biggest Madonna fan.”
  • “Let me tell you what 'Like a Virgin’ is about. It’s all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The entire song. It’s a metaphor for big dicks.”
  • “Are you gonna bark all day little doggie? Or are you gonna bite?”
  • “You almost killed me! Asshole! If I knew what kind of a guy you were, I never would’ve agreed to work with you!”
  • “What the fuck are you talking about?”
  • “I don’t wanna kill anybody. But if I gotta get out that door, and you’re standing in my way, one way or the other, you’re gettin’ outta my way.”
  • “You keep talking like a bitch, I’m gonna slap you like a bitch.”
  • “Listen kid, I’m not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don’t give a good fuck what you know, or don’t know, but I’m gonna torture you anyway, regardless.”
  • “Let me get this straight: you don’t ever tip?”
  • “You kill anybody?”

anonymous asked:

sorry weird question... do you know which of the Champions know each other names? are they all public or secret, or are some secret not others?

it’s fine, anon!

I think Viv and Amadeus have public identities, Viv doesn’t technically have a superhero identity to begin with (@marvel get on that asap) and I’m pretty sure Scott does too, since everyone knows who his older self is and they’re, like, the same person. So everyone knows who those three are.

Kamala, Miles and Sam all have secret identities, but Sam and Miles have both told Kamala their names. She didn’t tell them hers originally, but Miles and Sam both call her by her real name in ANAD Avengers, so I think we’re meant to assume she told them off-panel. So, those three know each others’ secret identities, but Viv, Amadeus and Scott don’t (yet) (unless I’ve missed something) (which is likely)

can anyone add to this???


Pairing: Guzma/Reader
Plot: After interfering in official Team Skull business one too many times, the grunts take you back to their boss to see what he wants to do with you. He quickly figures it out, and sends the grunts on their way.
Warnings: Smut, rough sex, possible dubcon
Notes: More smut since ya’ll are so thirsty for this man lmao. Also Idk if it’s related or not but after I posted my first smut fic with Guzma I saw a ton of others posted on AO3 so God bless ya’ll, keep the porn coming

“Let go of me!” You snarl at the men holding your arms, trying to keep you from thrashing. A pink haired women in front of you only laughs, holding up your bag like a prize. “Whatever, bitch! You keep fuckin’ with us, now we gonna fuck with you,” she says, laughing and turning to walk down the dirt path, the two blue haired men dragging you after her.

Keep reading

Its still weird seeing people actively throwin my name around like “i love yer work you guys should read this!!”

Im just so used to sitting on the fringes of fandoms doing my own thing and enjoying others happy i can produce my own content ppl enjoy even if its based on others work

Random Story Time

@creamynut (*deep sighs*)

This goes out to my Yankees out there that chill with Caribbean folk. A few months ago I’m at the crib with my boy, you know, kickin’ it like black folk in they 20′s do (play music on the laptop and discuss conspiracy theories and shit) and I decide to bake mac n cheese with bacon.

So this song “So Mi Like It” by Spice comes on and I’m cookin and jammin.  The beat was sick and I’m losing my mind in this damn kitchen.  You woulda thought I was born in St. Catherine or some shit the way I was gettin down.

My boy (who happens to be Jamaican) hasn’t said a word, like dead in a funeral silent.  I turned around for a second and he’s sittin there like…

Mind you, he’s standing on my right side and didn’t catch his reaction to me dancing.  In my mind I thought “Maybe he’s just high and enjoying the vibes.”  Typical American naivete.  He taps my shoulder and was like “Yo Jay: you know that song is about ridin’ dick, right?”

I’m like “Say what now?”

Homie pauses my computer and proceeds to break down the entire song, chapter and verse like I was in Bible study.  All I can do is wince in Hebrew and take the lecture.

By the end of the song, I sat there like…

(So yeah, to my Yankee boys out there: before you start dancing to foreign music, Google the description before partaking in the culture.)


cool best friends

edit: oh my god i completely forgot the entire reason i drew this henryk and gasc bein pals was because i wanted an explanation for why the sewer rats dropped throwing knives


***Last day ✨ Took this one in a bit of a different direction. They can’t all be sunshine and rainbows right?😉 ***

“I said no and that’s final. Don’t keep askin’ me lass. That’s enough.”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest, looking away from your Old Mans stern face. The restaurant was nice, quiet and dimly lit. You appreciated the gesture, Chibs wanted to take you out for a nice dinner after he had gotten back from this last 3 week run, but you wanted to be home with him. In private. You had to spend 3 weeks without your man and you wanted to have him all to yourself. You’d asked him to leave after you’d finished your dessert and he’d agreed, but when he figured out what had you so antsy, he’d recanted his statement and said that you both would stay for some more wine.

That was a whole hour ago and the both of you were still sitting there. You’d ordered another dessert and drank 2 more cups of wine but that ache for him was only growing more intense. You’d asked to leave once again but you could tell he was growing impatient with your nagging.

You relented and picked up your fork, playing around with the mousse on your plate when he kicked you gently under the table. You looked back up at him to see his face still stern but the beginning of a smirk was tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Ya know, it’s quite rude to be so eager to leave when I set this dinner up for you.”

You blinked, your shoulders falling some.

“I really wanted to spend this night with you and enjoy the romantic meal, but you keep asking to leave.”

You looked down at your plate bashfully, not meaning for it to come across that way.

“I’m sorry Filip. I didn’t mean to be rude, I just-”

“What did you call me?”

You stared at him and stayed quiet, knowing exactly what it was that he wanted you to call him. In public though?

He stared back at you expectantly, waiting for you to correct yourself and leaned back in his chair when you didn’t.

“You’re just being all sorts of bratty tonight aren’t you, little one?”

You gulped and looked around. The restaurant wasn’t full, not by a long shot, but it was small and the tables were rather close together. You didn’t want anyone to hear you. You also didn’t want your first night alone with your man to be a night of punishments though and you weighed your options before closing your eyes briefly.

“I’m sorry daddy.”

Chibs stayed relaxed back in his chair but his smirk was starting to come through now.

“I’m sorry darlin’ I couldn’t hear you. What was that?”

You glanced around again and looked at the rest of the diners, all focused on their plates and their partner. You doubted they’d be listening. But what if they were?

You swallowed dryly and leaned a little closer across the table, your voice slightly louder.

“I’m sorry daddy.”

Chibs stayed in his place for several seconds before he leaned across the table as well, your faces only inches away from each other with the small table.

“You’re not really getting yourself off on a good note tonight are ya?”

You shook your head and relaxed some, his playful look easing you a bit.

“I think I deserve some kind of payment from you, don’t ya think? For having to put up with this behavior on our first night back together?”

You nodded slowly, anxiety and excitement growing as you tried to imagine what he might be hinting at. Suddenly his grin widened until his teeth were showing in a full faced smile.

“I think I know just the thing.”

He used his foot to gently press against yours under the table, pulling your heeled feet apart.

“I bet you’re wearing those pretty red panties tonight aren’t ya? The ones with the wee black bow on the back? The ones I love so much?”

You nodded again, your eyes staying on his as he leaned back in his seat again.

“Take them off.”

Your eyes were wide as you stared at him. Surely you must’ve heard him wrong. He stayed watching you though, his boot kicking at your leg once again.


You quickly glanced around and didn’t see anyone paying attention to you. Your heart was pounding in your chest and your breathing was quickened, your arousal was through the roof. You’d never done anything like this with him in public and the thought of how easily it would be for you to get caught had a small whimper slipping from your lips. With one more look around, you planted your feet flat on the floor and slowly tucked your fingers underneath your dress, hooking your finger tips into the waistband of your panties. You discretely lifted yourself up and began to slide your panties over your bottom and down your thighs, stopping when they were at your knees. You looked up at Chibs to see him still looking at you, his eyes trained on your face.

“Come on. Get them off sweet girl.”

You nodded and took your bottom lip between your teeth, bringing the panties the rest of the way down your legs. With your hand sneaking under the table, you pulled your panties from around your ankles and handed them over to Chibs under the table. He shook his head though and reached across the table, palm facing up. Balling the fabric up in your hands, you reached across the table yourself and placed them in his hand, expecting him to close his hand around them to keep them out of sight. Instead he took them from you and held them in both hands, lifting it up in plain view in front of him.

“Just as sexy as I remember them being.”

You gasped and quickly reached across the table, yanking his hands down to lay them on the table while he chuckled. With a wink, he grabbed them again and tucked them into the pocket inside his leather jacket.

“I’ll be keeping these. Don’t need anything gettin’ in my way on the ride home.”

With that, he raised his hand and signaled for the waiter.

“Check please.”

yeah heyo me again trying to figure out how to draw your friendly neighborhood wreck-gar 

I meant to draw ancestors but instead I found an expressions book and drew a lot of highbloods without reference and in an inadvisably short amount of time.  For convenient reference

Telling puns:

Being told puns:

That one friend who APPARENTLy owns an ENTIRE FUCKING BOOK of puns: