get-it-straight

anonymous asked:

Excuse me, but... why do you hate when straight woman go to a gay bar? I'm a straight woman and I live in Madrid, and here lot of straight people like going out around the gay area (Chueca). I sometimes go with my boyfriend, with my friends, and sometimes with my gay friends, who are very happy I go out with them in Chueca. For me, going to a gay bar is like going to any other bar. Wouldn't be homophobe if I said, no way I am gonna go to a gay bar/gay area? Sorry for my english.

Hi love. Your English is fine! 

This is a complicated issue, and I will try and speak about it to the best of my ability. First off: if I said I hate when straight women go to gay bars, I was speaking hyperbolically and being reactionary, which is totally my right as a lesbian who seeks safe space the same way any gay man does. But the truth is,  that I don’t SIMPLY hate it, every time, always. I hate the way it changes how gay bars feel to me, and I hate the culture it creates and lends itself to. It’s something I have nuanced and complex feelings about. 

Like, I understand why straight women enjoy going to gay bars. I know often times straight women just want to have a good time and get away from straight men, and as someone who ALSO wants desperately to get away from straight men,  I get how gay bars can provide that space. 

However, many straight women can be super disrespectful to that space because they don’t understand the historical significance of gay bars for gay people. Here are some of the things that are really damaging that I see on the regular. Not all of them are specific things all straight women do at gay bars, but they ARE inevitable affects of the PRESENCE of straight women and straight culture within an LGBTQ space: 

1. straight women sometimes get offended when lesbians hit on them at gay bars, which is absurd because….it’s a gay bar. You’re in our space. I also regularly witness straight women acting particularly disparaging or even DISGUSTED by butch women in gay bars, which really hurts and is so cruel and disrespectful. The amount of times I’ve seen gay men band together with straight women to mock butch culture/appearances is innumerable. 

2. At least in LA, its become such a commonplace thing for LOTS of straight women to go to gay bars, that they out number the amount of lesbians/wlw. First off, this just feels awful and isolating for us, but additionally, it makes lots of wlw so uncomfortable that they don’t feel safe cruising/asking women to dance because the probability of the girl being straight is really high. Can you imagine how lonely, scary, and frustrating this would feel for wlw to go to a bar that is supposed to be FOR THEM and feel afraid and outnumbered by straight women? 

3. Lots of straight women treat gay bars like some wild tourist space.  They get to come to the gay part of town and watch the gays interact in their natural habitat, they get to see crazy wild freaky things like boys in make up and butch girls in plaid and go-go dancers and hot guys making out! How titillating and exciting and funny! Now, I’m not saying you do this, personally, but you have to understand that MANY straight women DO. It feels awful and hurtful to just want to go out and dance and be yourself AWAY from the cruelty and scrutiny of straight people, and end up at a bar where you’re getting watched like a sideshow ANYWAY. 

4. Many straight women bring their boyfriends. For numerous wlw and MANY gay men, straight men are traumatizing. They are our abusers. They’re the last thing we want to see in our safe space. NOTHING makes me feel more unsafe and invaded and shitty at a gay bar than the presence of straight men. And if there are straight women, there are likely going to be straight men, at least eventually.  Now, even aside from them making me feel flat out unsafe an horrible, it’s also just disheartening and irritating to see straight couples taking up space in an LGBTQ environment when I’m literally trying to get away from them! I don’t want to see straight people making out. I don’t to see straight people dancing. I don’t want to see straight people standing by the bar pointing at us. If I wanted all that, I wouldn’t be going to a GAY BAR.  

5. Again, at least in LA, it’s so common for straight women to go to gay bars that straight men will actually go to gay bars with the intention of finding straight women, because they KNOW it’s a place where single women congregate. I kid you not, it’s a pick up artist “trick” to go to gay bars. This means, predatory straight men in LGBTQ spaces, trying to hit on women. This INCLUDES WLW because sometimes they can’t tell the difference or literally don’t care!!! I DO NOT WANT to be around straight men, even the ones who are there with their girlfriends, so I ESPECIALLY don’t want to be around the type of straight guy who is looking for a hook up!  I don’t want to be hit on my straight men, I don’t want my bi friends or my femme friends who came to a gay bar looking for solace and to escape unwanted attention to be hit on or checked out by straight men IN THEIR OWN SPACE!!!

I remember the first time a straight man hit on me at a gay bar, I started dancing with him, close and kind of sexy, because it’s not uncommon for lesbians to dance with gay men like that in a playful way. Then, he started touching me, and I thought it was a little weird but was like “whatever he’s probably gay” and THEN HE KISSED ME and it was like my fucking world came crashing down. I felt so terrified and unsafe and dirty, and when I tried to scramble away and was like “Oh my god I’m gay stop” he literally said, and I will never forget this, “I don’t care. You didn’t a minute ago.” 

Whether or not you realize it, the presence of straight women in LGBTQ spaces leads to the eventual normalization of this type of behavior. Straight people and particularly straight men are ALWAYS coopting space that doesn’t belong to them and making it unsafe for LGBTQ people, who are ostracized outsiders who live in danger everywhere else. If I can’t go to a gay bar to get away from these types of men, where can I go? If my friends can’t go to a gay bar to pick up women, where can they go? 

NOW, you mentioned you were from Spain. I have never been to Spain and have relatively no idea what the gay scene/bar scene is like there. Some of this might not be relevant to you personally, and I’m sensitive to the fact I’m speaking from the experience of someone who grew up clubbing in West Hollywood/LA, so this might not apply to you. It might be different in Spain, and I get that you want to support your gay friend when you go out with him. That makes sense to me, and I know there are ways straight women can be respectful in LGBTQ spaces. 

But please, consider all of this. Also, you said something that really stuck out to me: “ For me, going to a gay bar is like going to any other bar.”

That stings, because for us, going to a gay bar is NOT like going to any other bar. Going to a gay bar is like going home, or it should be. You have to understand we don’t get to feel safe or supported most of the time when we exist in the world. We have to seek out those safe spaces, so when those safe spaces get infiltrated by the people who make the rest of the world unsafe for us, IT HURTS. We don’t want gay bars to be like any other bar, they need to be treated as the very specific, historically significant, cultural phenomenon that they are. It’s not just a rainbow on the wall that makes a gay bar a gay bar. I hope that makes sense. 

Further reading here! 

Erased (Pt.7)

Erased [part SEVEN]

part ONE | part TWO | part THREE | part FOUR | part FIVE | part SIX |

Warnings: Language, some nsfw and unhealthy situations throughout the series.

Author’s Note: This wasn’t meant to become anything more than a small ficlet, but then it did end up becoming something more. And in a different writing style from my previous fics.

Additional Note: I am so sorry.

—————

Yomo had made the arrangements to get Touka away from Kaneki’s radar, hours away and try to gather a group together. Hoping to find Aogiri to bring back Ayato and Hinami, if that was at all possible.

Nishiki had done what he said he would, having gone back to her place to gather some of her things and found no sign of Kaneki, even though he was itching to have a one on one with him.

Touka though had been unsure of this plan, knowing that once Kaneki realized she was gone he would go through all the trouble in the world to find her, especially if his plans involved in her capture.

How did it come to this?

Keep reading

“I have been in the Hetalia fandom for years and I still cannot understand how people ship Germany and Italy. Their personalities don’t work well together. Don’t get me wrong, I like them as friends but just not romantically together.

I feel like Germany needs someone who is easy-going, gets straight to the point, and when he is overworking himself, help him relax. He needs someone who can fend for themselves but can also rely on him at times, and someone who can pitch ideas to him. Someone like Italy, in my opinion, wouldn’t help him and just stress him out further. It would also be a bonus if they can keep up with his workouts.

Italy needs someone who is just as adventurous as him but can bring him back to reality when he spaces out. With Germany, he has a set routine and likes to follow it but Italy just goes along with whatever is thrown at him. He needs someone who also shares a passion for art and can sit through his ramblings. Italy’s s/o also needs to be okay with him talking to others and wouldn’t get jealous easily as he sometimes might accidentally flirt with people (as someone who is half Italian, I can confirm that even if you are in a relationship, flirting with others is most of the time harmless and more teasing than anything).

I honestly think that Germany x Italy  wouldn’t work as a romantic relationship and I can’t see them getting together.“

let’s get one thing straight: no one’s ever going to tell me who to write as/who I cannot write as that turns me off from everything you are and ever will be so fast, I’m the ice-cube in the freezer that’s been waiting for a glass.

I don’t care if you’ve been a long-time friend of if I’ve known you for five minutes: don’t tell me what to do or who to write as.

don’t do it don’t ever do it and don’t try and direct me/navigate me/tell me what to do, ever.

this has been a public service announcement of the pissed-off sort and this will circulate only once more, in the afternoon.

thank you and good-night

I guess while I’m in the middle of getting all my shit straight I’ll introduce myself.  My name is Elena.  Not to be confused with that other one.  I’m here for pre med.  Though what I’m not here to do is care about your petty problems or listen to a bunch of people whine and complain.  I’ve done that my whole life and I’m sick of it so save your woe is me’s for someone else.  I’m very honest and blunt about everything and no I don’t care if it bothers you.  I’m sure there’s a bunch of people who have joined here and said the same thing but guarantee you’ll find me the one to never change like I’m sure they did.  You want a real cut and dry opinion, come to me and you’ll get the real opinion you don’t want to hear but you need to hear.  You can try and tell me what to do but I do what I want when I want and fuck your rules to be completely honest.  Talk to me, introduce yourselves, or don’t it’s no skin off my nose I can promise you.

anonymous asked:

Hi, that I love and live on this blog is a given, so I will get straight to the point - Would you happen to know any good unrequitedlove! (from either John's or Sherlock's side, preferably the latter) fanfics ? Especially some really heartbreaking ones, ones that will give you immense pain ?

Ohhh, Nonny… My goodness…. Hmm. Well, you might find some on my Pining Sherlock fic rec list, but otherwise, I’m still sorting and haven’t come across any additional ones yet… I actually don’t really care for any fics that don’t have Sherlock and John together at the end (it always feels incomplete for me) so I don’t know if I would have anything you would like… anyone have anything? :)

greensphynx

Actually whenever the ‘Take what they need’ it usually just screws with the autorities, like Duncan conscripting Alistair under the grand-cleric’s nose or conscripting a mage or Tabris while they were about to get hauled off to a prison. Half of the Grey Wardens get conscripted straight from the local gallows and boy are the authorities pissed

and that is bad why fuck authorities fuck the policE DESTROY THE FUCKING SYSTEM *throws candy wrapper into the paper only bin*

No, Taylor did not cheat; in fact, I might have an explanation for this entire reputation era.

Our best friend Taylor Swift is a mastermind, and we’ve become pretty good at figuring out the rules of her little games, but this era, we have failed pretty miserably thus far.

After Taylor released Gorgeous, my dash went crazy. To be expected when a new song is released, right? But this time, it wasn’t so good. Everyone needed to know if Taylor cheated on Calvin or Tom and when she met Joe – including me.

It took a few listens, but then it clicked. Here’s what I think:

Taylor wrote each song of reputation with clues – but not the kind we’re used to looking for; on reputation, Taylor uses each song to twist her truth with her reputation. She’s so good at it, we didn’t even really notice.

I think that every song on reputation is going to be this way, except, probably the last one. Taylor has to include a purely Taylor song on the album, so it makes sense that it would be at the very end.

The media doesn’t care about getting their facts straight, so Taylor is done with it too. That doesn’t mean she’s lying; she’s just playing the game better than they do.

This is the New Taylor’s idea of revenge. Instead of giving us sweet clues like Maple Lattes (RIP), she’s telling the stories of the past two years in her own way from the power position. If Taylor had given us the literal story of how she met Joe, the media would have found a way to rip her to shreds… so why not take what they are already saying about her and run with that? 

For each song, Taylor takes a different rumor and makes it part of her story:

Ready For It: “She’s a heartbreaker”

Look What You Made Me Do: “She plays the victim” (+ more, if you count the music videos)

Gorgeous: “She cheated on Calvin”

Instead of writing a song about how she didn’t cheat on Calvin with Tom, Taylor wrote a song about how she wanted to cheat on Calvin with Joe, even though it’s highly unlikely they had even met.

The clues in this song affirm my suspicions. Sunset and Vine are the cross-streets for the theater where she saw Joe’s movie. That was obviously after they met. 

This song IS the story of how they got together, but it’s more than that. It’s the story of how she FELT when they met but TOLD through the lens of her reputation as a cheater.

When you think about it that way, it clarifies a lot from the other two songs we’ve heard. 

This is Taylor’s way of speaking her truth, facing the criticism, and being vulnerable. Because Taylor chose to write the album this way – which is more like a musical or novel than the diaries we’re used to – we get to totally focus on her happiness with Joe while still seeing how the rumors of the last few years affected her. 

Please reblog, spread the word, and tell everyone what we already know.

Taylor Swift is so much damn smarter than you.

anonymous asked:

Maya, I'm convinced more than ever that he has someone else working for him that we don't know about yet, because this video teaser is clearly out of the league of the people he's working with now.

This video is just perfect? Technically, visually, conceptually. The global idea, the little details, the style, the hints. It’s so good in any possible way that I’m still unable to articulate.

Alright so, let me get this straight. The fandom as a whole has been complaining since season one that we don’t have any filler episodes. Episodes where they get to have fun and relax and even do a bit of character development. But then the majority of season four is considered filler episodes (the scene with Kaltenecker. A lot of the coalition show episode, etc) but yet you guys still go and complain? 

Season four was short, it was six episodes, there wasn’t much they could do to begin with but you know what? They did a lot for a “filler” season. They brought in a major new character (Matt Holt). They gave us a major plot twist with Lotor and his generals. They gave us Allura learning to use her magic a bit more. They gave us a scene with Haggar showing her true form. They created a major alliance. They gave Keith a new motive, major development and all while keeping him in the back. They gave us a lot in this season and you guys are really still going to sit there and complain? 

I’ve seen people say that the writers have no idea what they’re doing. I’ve seen people say that the writers are ruining the show. I’ve seen somebody have the audacity to say that the show has been queerbaiting klance just because they didn’t even interact this season. And so many more complaints. Like, why are you guys wasting so much energy on being so negative about a season that was fun, entertaining and still moved the plot forward? Sure it left us with a lot of unanswered questions and a lot of new questions but so what? They still have a long way to go, and if you’re honestly going to sit there and complain season after season then do yourselves a favor and just leave the fandom and forget the show. Seriously. If you’re that upset about a show then move on from it. 

Because guess what? The show writers know exactly what they’re doing. They know exactly where they’re going and what information they’re giving to us and what they’re not. They know how they want their show to go and you have no right to say that they’re ruining it. Because they aren’t. They’re doing with the show exactly what they’ve had planned since the beginning. Since their pitch. They’re doing exactly what Dreamworks/Universal liked from their pitch and signed them onto do. 

So seriously, please, if you aren’t enjoying it then move on. This fandom is negative and toxic enough, please don’t add to it by dragging down a season that was meant to be fun and entertaining.

mike: ….so let me get this straight. you say you, richie tozier, are a free man?

richie: yep

bill: a c-casanova?

richie: that is correct

stan: a fuckboy supreme?

richie: right on.

mike: …and eddie knows about this?

richie: listen fellas, eddie knows what the deal is. he knows that he’s not the only one to have my heart. he knows i’m a free spirit, but that boy is still so whipped for me.

eddie: -walks over- hey guys

richie: -clings to eddie- i love you so much eddie you are my reason for breathing there is no other for me and i could never look at another. you and only you have my heart.

mike:

bill:

stan: ….fake ass bitch