get your jollies

Gonna get these out of my system:

“You can frisk me… only if I get to frisk you back.”

“My my… what a large truncheon you have.”

“I’m under arrest? You mean you’re gonna pin me against the wall and pull out your handcuffs? I’m in!”

“You’re welcome to ‘Roger’ me anytime, officer.”

“i’m not carrying a weapon… but judging by those pants, you certainly are.”

“please officer… show me your ‘long arm’ of the law.”

“Who gave you the right to remain sexy?”

“The only one committing a crime here is you for being unlawfully attractive.”

“Can I help you get your jollies off, Rogers?”

“Take me for a ride, officer. I’m not talking about your car.”

Okay I think i’m done… for now…


Originally posted by kinghelmsley

Characters:  Marty Scurll / Reader

Notes: I was inspired by @unabashedwwesmut fic, sneeze, so much that I had to do this! I hope you all love it!

Warnings: Nothing but fluff! A hint of language and some sexual references

Word Count: 1556

Tag List: @unabashedwwesmut @vipervenomisgoodforyou @ambrosegirlforever, @valeonmars, @thebadchic, @nickysmum1909@ortonaholic, @seths-skinny-jeans, @lakama15, @southernbelle24, @wwefangirlllll, @spiderman2289, @nickie-amore, @blondekel77, @princess3733, @toosweetme @vsturgeon5489 @jade4062022 @georgiadean37 @cfloyd776

Keep reading

If you’re ever torn about what to write, please consider a Leverage AU:

Here’s why:

You get your modern Robin Hood jollies, where you can have your characters be heroes without having to get trapped by the law.

You can have both your Team Mom/Team Dad ship and your OT3. Or literally any OTP+OT3 set.

You get to give people roles, and I know that’s always popular:

  • The Mastermind: This is the person you see planning every con, every heist, every destroyed reputation. They know their team’s skills and they know their target, and they have a way to make it all end in success.
  • The Grifter: Someone’s acting their way into every situation imaginable. Faking your own death? Getting a free pass to the Oval Office? Convincing people you’re a head of state? Sure, why not. (Stage/film acting skills not required. Really, really not required.)
  • The Hitter: Every team has the muscle. In this case, the muscle is probably also the cook, has a number of very strange skills (which they probably picked up from listening to old S/O’s talking about their interests), and can identify a gun by the sound of it from three blocks away. It’s a very distinctive gun, after all.
  • The Hacker: TBH probably the best person emotionally on the team. Very good with computers. Not just hacking either, but also photoshop and whatever else is needed to create the identity of the day. May or may not include references to nerd media in said identities.
  • The Thief: They can steal anything. Anything. Had a very inconsistent upbringing. Emotionally complicated and has trouble understanding people. May or may not drive like they learned while driving getaway cars as a preteen.

More people you can choose to add:

  • Interpol: This person isn’t really a friend or an enemy. More like… an occasional opponent who’s legally obligated to attempt to arrest you at every opportunity, but still comes to you for help to get their child out of a bad situation.
  • The Sixth Ranger Grifter: The Grifter’s friend who got called in on a favor as a replacement when the Grifter went soul-searching. They’re very good at their job, even if their ‘characters’ are often quite different from The Grifter’s, and may or may not have trained at Quantico at some point.
  • The Ex: Actually still on good terms with the Mastermind, even after the divorce. Specialist in something tangentially related to cons, like art history. Slightly confused but willing to help when they think it’s a good idea.
  • The Rival Hacker: Kind of a misogynistic jackass, but played by Wil Wheaton, who makes it hilarious. Yes, Wheaton plays them even in your AU of another series. Trust me on this.
  • The Mentor: The Thief’s old teacher. Replacement parent. Made a lot of mistakes, but knows what they’re doing. Has a cane that has either a 10,000 Volt tazer, or a 6-inch stiletto, but they’ve forgotten which.
  • The Detective: the friend on the force. Officially, they know nothing about the team’s activities. Unofficially, they know a lot and would very much like to thank the team for taking out the guys that shot them that one time.
  • Those Two FBI Guys: May or may not be guys. But there are two of them, and they are completely and utterly convinced that the Hacker and the Thief are legitimate FBI agents who do a lot of undercover work. They sometimes collaborate.
  • Quinn: I’m not even sure what to say for Quinn. Gave the Hitter an ACTUAL fight on one job. They kicked each others’ asses, but are apparently on good terms a few years later when the Hitter shows up to ask Quinn for some help on a job (with a six figure payment, of course).
  • Various others that you can check out on TvTropes

I just really love AUs and would really like to encourage you all to consider a Leverage AU at some point.

The Permission Slip

Because @anghraine mentioned PTA AU, and her brain went one place and mine went another.

The Permission Slip

Jyn opened the door as quietly as possible and slid into the school library. Not that she really should have bothered with stealth. The big room echoed with chatter and laughter and suddenly, happy shrieking as something went pop!

She leaned her back against the wall, looking around. She vaguely remembered coming here on a long-ago Parent Night. At the time, the posters had been dusty and faded, the shelves looming, and the tables dirty. Not to mention a sour librarian who’d been quick to tell her that Lyra refused to stick to books at her grade level, and hadn’t taken it well when Jyn had snapped back that maybe the librarian shouldn’t be giving her kid boring-ass shit she didn’t want to read.

Now it looked bright and warm, the tables all pushed together at one end, sunlight streaming in through the windows. The new librarian had been making changes. Impressive considering he split his time between here and the high school.

The top half of the shelves were empty, all the books moved down. She wondered where the rest of them had gone. Still, there were enough books to make her itchy. She’d kicked the dust of school off her Doc Martens ten years ago, and while she’d gotten her GED, she still wasn’t a fan of scholastic environments in general.

Lyra, she reminded herself. She was here for Lyra. For Lyra, she’d walk over hot coals and swallow live scorpions and -

And take the afternoon off work to tell her kid’s school librarian a thing or two.

Keep reading

supersayanaxd  asked:

okay people, we all want to hug Bendy, but you are hurting him, so stop, plz

‘Hurt me’?!  Are you nuts? You saps couldn’t hurt me if you tried with everything ya got. All at onceWho are you to speak for me anyway? And whaddaya mean you ‘all wanna hug me’?! You’re a #$%&?@* creep, ya know that? I think I’m goin’ back to just doin’ it for kids. Some of you guys are just downright sick. I don’t want or need your sympathy or understandin’, I need you to leave me alone. I take back what I said before about bein’ on board with being touched, okay?!”



thiickreigns  asked:

Can you do a Roman drabble with the quote 67 I believe, "Stop being so cute"? If not, that's fine lol. Thank you 💜

“Stop being so cute” Roman smiled, pulling your hips to his after you had just gone on a tangent about Braun attacking him. “It’s all part of the brawl”

“He could have really hurt you!” You mock frowned, trying not to smile. He would always taunt you about being paranoid when it came injuries.

“Babydoll..” He was still smiling as he hooked a finger under your chin. “He may be a giant beast, but I am the big dog”

“And it’s your yard!” You winked, pulling back. “How was that?”

“You take on the role very well” He reached for your waist, pulling you back to him. “I know you get your jollies teasing me about fans”

“I know there are fans out there who know a good portion of what happens is discussed or laid out, but the fans who truly think any hit will harm you are laughable!”

“Baby, you need to be careful, your bitch is coming out” He rolled his eyes, laughing.

“Mr. Reigns should be careful in what he says, because his girlfriend could revoke very important roles in the bedroom” You teased him with a smirk, raising an eyebrow.

“Mmm..I like when baby gets feisty” He growled dipping his teeth into your bottom lip, pulling gently.

“Who’s my big dog?” Your hands sauntered over his pecks, gliding up to his shoulders, behind his neck and back down.

“That’s me baby” His hands grazed down to either side of your bottom, cupping each cheek in his hand, lifting you off the ground.

“Oh yes, it is” Your legs hooked at his hips, balancing there. “My big strong man”

“How about I remind you just how strong your man is” There was a glint in his eyes that always sent the thrill of anticipation down to your center. He never was one to disappoint.

anonymous asked:

How long are you going to keep begging? It's every fucking month. Learn how to shop effectively. Like honestly from the amount you've said before you get for food stamps is enough to buy staple ingredients for over a month.

How long are you going to keep harassing me for asking for help on my own fucking blog? You do this every time. If you’re following me, unfollow me. If you’re not following me, stop stalking my blog to bitch.

Like, seriously, I have explained this repeatedly. Our shopping habits are not the fucking problem, our lack of reliable transportation is. We have one store within walking distance and it’s outrageously expensive and poorly stocked. It doesn’t even carry many basic “staple ingredients”.

We end up spending too much there waiting for someone with a vehicle to get us to the grocery store. This is the REGULAR problem, add to that the magical way the universe seems to align specifically to FUCK us sometimes, like this month when welfare magically didn’t receive the paperwork Bas sent in to them… until of course he called and bitched at someone in the office and then all of a sudden they “magically” found the paperwork they swore up and down they didn’t receive.

But of course since the 9th of April landed on a Sunday last month, the office wasn’t open and he had to wait to call in until Monday morning. It then took them THREE FUCKING DAYS to file the paperwork they had received but not filed because they’re all incompetent, overworked shills - so when he finally got his food stamps reinstated they docked them by 60$. We got 60$ less than we usually get in a month to feed ourselves and I still managed to get us closer to our payday than usual so fuck you.

Fuck your obsessive bullshit and fuck your classism.

We are in a really bad position right now and I am going to need to ask for help sometimes. If you can’t deal with that get off my blog. I don’t ask UNTIL we need it and the money that is sent goes to exactly what I say it’s going to. If you’re not interested in helping that’s fine, I don’t mind, but don’t be an asshole about it. Just move on with your life, Jesus. I am doing everything I fucking can to fix our situation and you’re whining because I dare to have the audacity to ask for help on my own mother fucking blog.

Grow up.

Take a magnifying glass and go get your jollies tormenting ants, why don’t you?

To all of the people who do help us, thank you. You have no idea how much of a difference you make for us. It’s a world of difference, it really is and we appreciate it so much more than I can ever say. Thank you so much.

people on here love to talk about how it’s bad to make fun of “bad” art drawn by kids (which is true) but then will turn around and laugh at people for having art styles that look too much like steven universe or whatever and there’s almost zero difference, you’re still getting your jollies from making fun of totally harmless art (usually made by young people!) and thats bad no matter how you slice it

A Disturbing Day

I’m almost at a loss for words after the troll action today on IG. Almost but not quite. 😜It’s very disturbing to see these trolls in action. Seeing their accounts get deleted, seeing them create new accounts and escalate their harassment and then see them attacking those who are reporting them. They are harder to eliminate than a nest of snakes.

One of them appeared to create a new account, post 3 hateful comments then deleted her own account. The comments were there but the account was closed. Another posted a death wish this evening. I (and others) reported her and she is gone now.

The data lounge sock puppet reappeared under a new but similar name and spewed the same tired, old lies.

Marina617 went to her Twitter account asking for help reporting the person who has been actively calling her out on IG and was probably instrumental in getting her account closed. I mean if IG agreed her account was bullying how could they call the person who reported her a bully? She’s the lovely person who has had more than one con pic taken with Sam. SMH over that one. I don’t know how someone can be a Sam super fan and ridicule his girlfriend like she does.

Kim denying she is OL2013 takes the cake. Maybe she has her different accounts so compartmentalized in her mind that she forgot. Did she really think her name is Shipper McShipperson at that moment in time? It doesn’t matter because all her various accounts add up to an obsession with Sam and as she says in her bio she’ll ship it no matter what. She doesn’t have to spread the lie that Sam and Cait got married in Dec ‘15 to keep shipping however. That was done to provoke and she typed that comment with glee. What a sicko.

Another lovely account that has since been taken down called MM a whore and said her job for Sam involved performing a sex act on him. Another said neither Sam nor Mac were good enough for Cait 🙄and that Sam was a loser dating a loser! (She spelled it “looser”) It makes me laugh out loud to type that because it’s so childish and ridiculous. Is she proud of being a fan of a loser? I wish I had that pic of Sam at Baftas Scotland in 2015 when he didn’t win and had a photo taken with his hand making an L on his forehead!

Then there are the comments and posts accusing NSTs of being the hateful ones! JHRC is that one rich! Do any NSTs have IG accounts mocking anyone or shippers? Of course not. I blog about the hate accounts because they can’t be allowed to bully Mac with impunity. I call out Tumblr posts that spread misinformation but that is usually when an anon brings it to my attentions. I try to leave them alone.

I report the abusive comments on IG. It’s OK to police my own fandom. I’m not reporting shippers for shipping. I’m reporting and calling out the bullies and the liars. I’m not reporting anyone to MPC unless they make a specific MPC rule violation. So far I haven’t seen any and I hope other people leave MPC alone. The actors’ charities can’t scrutinize each donation, they are just happy to get the money to help children and others with cancer. WCC, WCCUSA, Bloodwise and MPC need to be left alone.

I consider myself a middling Outlander fan. I only have my personal IG and Twitter accounts and they don’t have anything Outlander in their names. I had my Twitter long before Outlander the tv show. I haven’t had my pic taken with Sam at a con and probably never will - that’s just not me. If I saw him on the street I would say hello but probably would not ask for a pic unless it was outside the stage door at a theatre where he was appearing. I’m currently reading a book that is not Outlander (I’ve read all 8 books plus the side books multiple times) and I have no trips to Scotland planned - not even the MPC Gathering even though I am a member. Events like that are just too big and cumbersome for me - too many people.

I say this because I understand many fans have a lot more emotionally invested in Sam and Cait and the show and books than I do and for much longer. Maybe they have too much invested if they can get so upset over Sam dating someone who is not Cait.

If Mac posting a photo that proves she is in SA sets you off so much that you have to rant about it on her account rather than on a closed FB group or Tumblr group then just maybe you are over invested.

If you have sock puppet accounts to enable you to troll you may be over invested.

If you get your jollies manipulating Mac’s IG posts in order to ridicule and bully her maybe you are over invested in Sam, Cait and/or Outlander and it’s time to find some balance in your life.

anonymous asked:

We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances - Ziam please

So this is slightly different than the prompt asked for, hope that’s okay. That seems to be a theme with me lately. Once again anon thank you for sending me all these amazing prompts. Hopefully I can write more later today and tomorrow

The library was Zayn’s safe place on campus, a place where he could be one with the books. Louis always made fun of him for it, even though he was partially the reason why Zayn found solace there. He could get lost in the silence of the massive building, books upon books to read. Any subject he had a question about, the answer was probably found in these old, dusty books. That was also why he was studying English as well. So many things to uncover and different ways of interpreting a single text. With maths and history answers were always concrete, you couldn’t fake your way through it. With English though, you could talk in circles and still make sense and get a passing grade. Right now was crunch time, midterms. Besides exams Zayn had three term papers to complete within the next two weeks. Louis complained that he could only study well in their room, so being the good friend that he is Zayn made his trek across the campus to his go to spot. Not that it bothered him anyway. He smiled at Niall who was manning the coffee cart outside the building, promising that he’d stop to see him after his study session. Niall was a good lad, supplied Zayn with endless amounts of caffeine during his late night cramming sessions.

He threw his bag in the table, hoping he didn’t crack the screen of his laptop. This table was his favorite, too. A secluded location on the top floor, right next to the floor to ceiling window that overlooked the art building. A building that stuck out like a sore thumb, the architecture of the building was a juxtaposition to the whole entire campus. Zayn understood it, he even thought of a minor in art history when he first enrolled. He could appreciate an abstract piece of art even when he didn’t fully understand it. He sighed as he unzipped his bag and pulled out his laptop and the book he needed to read for his English literature class. He needed to write a ten page paper comparing and contrasting female writers from the nineteenth century. Didn’t seem that hard, at least at first it didn’t. Zayn welcomed a challenge, it got his mind thinking in ways he wasn’t use to. He started up his laptop and opened up his Spotify, another perk of his isolated location. No one was around to be bothered by him playing music without using his headphones. The only other person on this floor was the student librarian, Liam. Zayn knew of Liam outside of the library, he was captain on the footie team, helping the school wins its first title in over twenty years. He was well known around campus without acting stuck up about it, which was a shock. Today he was stacking books in the back, his own headphones on as he pushed the book cart across the floor.

Half hour into his writing Zayn noticed Liam was back behind his desk, headphones now off. He wasn’t bothered by Zayn’s music seeing he clearly bobbing his head to Drake. It was comforting to know that he wasn’t disturbing anyone. He was typing fast, his brain filled with ideas and he was determined to get it all down before they got lost. He looked up when he saw someone from the corner of his eye, giving them a head nod as a greeting. They guy went down the Russian literature section that had Zayn internally groaning, that course was waiting for him next semester. He went back to writing, getting lost in his work once more. It felt good to feel this determined, to actually set a goal for himself and maybe being able to accomplish it. He was going to reward himself with a massive iced latte, with an extra shot of hazelnut as a treat. It was stupid but it was the little things that made Zayn work harder. His goal was to write five pages of one of his ten page papers and it looked like he was going to achieve his goal within the next hour. He had three and a half pages written, and hopefully written well. One and a half pages left to write and he was free until he dragged himself up here the next day to hopefully repeat today’s events.

“What the-?”

Zayn paused his typing at the sound of a groan. It was obviously loud enough that it was heard over both his typing and music. He looked around, hoping he wasn’t going crazy and hearing things. Liam was still behind his desk, typing on his own computer. Zayn stood up, stretched his arms above his head before walking over to Liam.

“Hey Zayn, what’s going on?” He asked.

“You okay?” Zayn asked, cocking his head to the right a little bit to size Liam up.

“Yeah,” he let out slowly, obviously confused over why the question was asked. “Are you?”

Zayn shook his head and smiled, now embarrassed. “S-sorry. I heard a noise and thought it was you but now I know it wasn’t and I feel incredibly stupid.”

“Don’t,” he told him, placing a hand on Zayn’s for the quick reassure. “You’ve been working for a long time, maybe you’re just getting tired.”

“True,” he laughed. “Five hours staring a screen maybe is a long time.”

Liam gave Zayn a reassuring, light hearted smile before Zayn walked back to his seat. He flipped open his reading material once more and tried to resume his writing. He was on a good roll and now he felt like it had lost it. His mojo was gone. His five page plan looked bleak, looked more like a four page plan. Which wasn’t a bad thing but Zayn didn’t want to be behind when he had so much to do in such a short period of time. He changed the music, maybe a mix up of things would get him going again. The room was now quiet, just the soft sound of Liam typing in the distance when Zayn heard the noise again. He quickly turned around at Liam who was looking at him with eyebrows raised. Okay so he wasn’t going crazy and hearing things. This time Liam walked from behind his desk and over to Zayn. He sat next to him and just waited. Waiting for what? Zayn had no idea but clearly Liam knew what he was waiting for. Sure enough, the noise could be heard again.

“Oh my god!” Liam gasped, trying to remain silent as he did so. “What the hell was that?”

“Is someone up here with us?” Zayn asked, turning off his music once more. “I’ve been so enthralled with my work that I don’t know if anyone is here.”

“I saw some guy like an hour ago,” Liam recalled. “Holy shit! Holy shit!”

“What! What!” Zayn asked, slapping Liam’s arm, hopefully getting some information out of him.

“A girl followed him up here a few minutes later,” he laughed. “Someone is having sex in the Russian literature section.”

“Pushkin gets me hot too,” Zayn joked, pushing his chair out slowly, hoping not to scrap it against the floor and make noise. He stood up and smiled down at Liam. “Come on.”

“What! No!” Liam told him. “Za-Zayn stop!”

“Come on, Leeyum,” he laughed, pulling gently on his arm. “Don’t you want to know who rudely interrupted our studying?”

“No, not really,” he replied, shaking his head. “Let’s leave them to their business and continue with ours. Okay?”

“No,” Zayn responded. “These people are not respecting the books. The books need to be respected, Liam.”

“Zayn,” Liam groaned and tried to stifle a laugh when the couple in the aisle made a similar noise. “They can’t be that much longer, yeah, so let’s just drop it.”

Zayn shook his head in dismay at Liam, how dare he just want to leave this alone. These people were clearly being disrespectful to not only Liam’s place of work but the books. The books! They couldn’t stick up for themselves so someone had to and that someone was going to be Zayn Malik. He tip toed as quietly as possible towards the shelves to catch these rude intruders. The first two shelves were clear, only six more to go. Once he approached the fourth he saw Liam sigh and give up to follow him. Good. It was better with a partner anyway. Someone to back up his story when he told Louis later. He kind of wished Louis was there with him, he’d be the first to jump out of his seat and help Zayn. Not for the respect part just because Louis was the biggest gossip he ever met.

“Welcome to the team,” Zayn greeted Liam with a smile. “Time to put these no good people in their place.”

“Oh yeah, you’ve got them shaking in their boots,” he replied dryly. “Totally going to scare them now.”

Zayn rolled his eyes and grabbed for Liam’s hand which was slightly clammy, probably nerves. They walked a few feet to the next shelf in silence, Zayn tried to hold his breath trying not make any unnecessary noise. The noise got louder and more aggressive, okay now Zayn was trying to suppress a laugh. This was all kind of a little bit ridiculous if he stopped to think about it. But he couldn’t stop to think about it now, these books demanded respect. He peeked at the next shelf and sure enough he had caught the assailants, going at it between ancient Russian romance novels and Russian history. How sexy. Zayn looked behind at Liam who was still shaking his head and rolling his eyes at him. His free hand was covering his mouth but it was evident that he was laughing behind his hand. The laugh lines by his eyes were a dead giveaway. Useless.

“Excuse me,” Zayn said harshly towards the couple.

The parted quickly, or as quickly as they could seeing the girl was kneeling on the carpeted floor.

“Can’t you find a room to do that in?” Zayn asked and stood square in front of the couple. The guy quickly trying to button his pants back up as the girls sheepishly stood up, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand. “What you’re doing is not only rude but disrespectful.”

“Sorry bro,” the guy apologized, shocked at Zayn’s outburst. “Didn’t realize you’d be so against a quick blowie in the library.”

Zayn looked over at Liam and quickly pulled him closer. He wasn’t going to look like the asshole alone. “I don’t care where you get your jollies mate. Just don’t do that to the books.”

“Th-the books?” He gawked, running his hand through his hair. “You can’t be serious.”

“These books deserve better,” he explained. “These beautiful pieces of literature were not written so you can have a quickie amongst them.”

The girl looked over a her boyfriend and then at Liam, hoping someone could make sense of what was going on. “I-I’m sorry, but you’re upset over some books.”

“Some books,” Zayn scoffed looking over at Liam for some help, tightening his grip on their connected hands. “Please.”

“Ignore him,” Liam told the couple. “As you can tell he’s very passionate about this. Can you just umm, I don’t know. Finish this up somewhere else, okay?”

“Sorry bro,” the guy repeated, this time to Liam. He patted him on the back as he and his girlfriend passed by. “That goal to end the last season was sick man. Epically sick.”

“Thanks,” Liam took the compliment graciously with a tight smile. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Zayn huffed at Liam, releasing their hands with a upset sound. He stomped back to his seat to collect his things. He was so upset over the couple and his lack of completed work that he was even considering not getting his iced latte after all. But hell, he deserved it. He had put up with enough crap today that he’d even give himself two shots on hazelnut.

“What’s wrong?” Liam asked once he caught up with a fast moving Zayn. “You can’t be that upset over some books.”

“Some books,” he scoffed and zipped up his bag. “You don’t get it Liam, do you?”

“Obviously not,” he laughed. “Look if it’s any consolation, these things rarely happen around here.”

“Liam,” Zayn began with a sigh and threw his heavy bag over his shoulder. “One day I want what I write to be on these shelves. I’m not mad at the kid getting off, more power to him honestly. It’s the principle of it all is it.”


“I don’t want my work to be thrown up on a shelf and be disregarded like these works are,” he continued to explain. “I respect the written word. And maybe that makes me a nerd or whatever but so be it. That’s just who I am I guess.”

“I can respect that,” Liam told him with an understanding nod of his head. “Don’t get it but I respect it.”

“Don’t you have something you’re so passionate about that it drives you insane?” He asked, his eyes wide and animated with emotion.

Liam stood in front of Zayn silent. He shuffled on his feet and visibly swallowed his nerves down. Honestly? Yeah, Liam did have something he was truly passionate about that drove him insane and it was Zayn. He all started at the beginning of the year. He’d watch him come to the library almost everyday and sit in his lonely section. Liam would just spend the whole time watching him as he studied, trying to find the courage to talk to him. He was attractive but that wasn’t what kept Liam feeling helpless. It was passion and his drive as he worked so hard at whatever he was working on. Zayn the English major with soft eyes and sharp cheekbones with black ink painting both his arms. He was breathtaking.


“Get coffee with me,” he blurted out.

“Wha-what?” Zayn asked, taken aback at Liam’s outburst.

“Get coffee with me,” he repeated boldly. “You want to know what I’m so passionate about then come get coffee with me and I’ll tell you. Just warning you that it’ll shock you.”

Zayn scoffed. “After today nothing is going to shock me.”

“Is that a yes then?” Liam asked, hoping it didn’t sound like he was begging.

“It’s a yes,” Zayn confirmed. “You’re buying though. And just to let you know I want a double shot of hazelnut.”

“I can do that,” Liam laughed. “Come on. Niall should be closing up soon and his cart is the only coffee I trust on campus.”

Oswald: Why you gotta one up me all the time? What do you get your jollies from making me look dumb?

Bruce: Who said I think you’re dumb? Maybe I just-

Oswald: Maybe you just what?

Bruce: Maybe I just like you.

Oswald: Maybe I just like you too.

Bruce: Oh, really?

Oswald: Yeah, maybe I really liked you for a long time but didn’t realize it because I hated you so much.

Bruce: Are you saying you like me or not?

Oswald: Are you saying that you like me or not?

Bruce: I’m saying I like you.

Oswald: I’m saying I like you.

Both: Fine.

Bruce: I guess we’re boyfriends now.

like believe you me i know how difficult it is to date in the gay scene as a trans guy, it’s just that a) when talking about cruising specifically, i don’t think it’s all roses and candy for cis guys either (to a lesser extent, sure, but you know, it’s anonymous hook-ups ffs) and this article never even touches on that b) what business is it of’s, who are not a LGBT publication and have a mainly cis, straight audience, what gay dudes do. fuck off and get your weird persecution porn jollies off elsewhere. 

Christmas Asks
  • Candy Cane: Sweetest gift anyone has ever gotten you?
  • Caroling: Favorite song to sing in the shower?
  • Christmas: What is your favorite part about the holiday season?
  • Coal: Meanest trick/prank you ever pulled in someone?
  • Decorations: How would you describe your sense of style?
  • Eggnog: Who do you turn to in your time of need?
  • Elf: Are you considered dependable?
  • Feliz Navidad: Can you speak more than one language?
  • Frosty The Snowman: Who was your childhood hero?
  • Gingerbread House: Describe your dream home and where it would be?
  • Jingle Bells: What song would you hate to get stuck in your head?
  • Jolly: What makes you the happiest?
  • Mistletoe: Describe the best kiss of your life so far?
  • North Pole: Would you rather be hot or cold?
  • Nutcracker: Your most painful injury?
  • Ornaments: On a scale of 1-10, how creative would you rate yourself?
  • Poinsettia: What flower has the best scent?
  • Presents: Do you like being spoiled?
  • Reindeer: What animal would you associate yourself with most?
  • Santa Claus: Who do you look up to most?
  • Snowflake: Do you consider yourself to be unique?
  • Stockings: Do you have any unusual traditions?
  • Sugarplum: What satisfies your sweet tooth most?
  • Tinsel: What is one accessory you can't live without?
  • Winter: Name 3 people you would cuddle up with in front of a fire?
  • Yuletide: The top 3 things in your life that make you the most happy?
The Prankster and The Criminal (Part V)

The blonde jock seemed to glared at you, but you glared right on back. You almost found it laughable how defensive he got about his sport, after all it was just a sport. There was really nothing special about it, so you didn’t understand why he was so mad when people insulted wrestling, it was a lame sport anyway. “You don’t have any goals, you wouldn’t understand,” he spat. You scoffed and rolled you eyes. Who was he to assume you didn’t have any goals? You had goals. they just weren’t what idiots like him might consider “worthwhile”, but you had goals.

“I’ll have you know, Mr. Tough Jock, that I have plenty of goals, they just don’t involve playing games in tights like a fucking ballerina. But if you get your jollies being all up close to sweaty guys, then who am I to judge.” You could feel Bender shaking with laughter next to you, but giving a smile was all you did to acknowledge it, as you were still staring at the floor ballerina with a purposeful glare. 

It was the nerd though who really made you smile, though you hated to admit it. He seemed really into the conversation once he heard you mention the fact that the jock wore tights. And it was almost with fascination that he asked the other boy if he really did wear tights. The blue jacketed boy turned around to look at the nerd and answered in an insulted tone, “No, I don’t wear tights. I wear the required uniform.” He raised his voice a little a the end, and you couldn’t really tell whether he was mad or just annoyed, but did it really matter? It was still fun to see him get a little worked up either way.

“Tights!” The nerd’s eyebrows raised and he nodded his head, as if to say “duh.” You could have applauded him. He might have really annoyed you with his goody-goody personality earlier, but you were beginning to like this kid. In fact you were pretty sure it was safe to say that out of the four who were still seated at the tables, the nerd was beginning to become your favorite. The feeling only increased when the jock, having nothing else to say about the nerd’s comment told him to shut up. You saw the girl in the back glimpse up and smile as she doodled or something. You didn’t mind her either.

Your attention though was drawn away from the black haired girl when you heard a noise from behind you, and whipped around to see Vernon in his office throw something in the trash. Bender hustled back to his seat, and you followed his lead, him sitting between the two preps, while you scampered to where he was originally sat, as it was a bit closer than your spot. You stood, trying to watch Vernon, ready to take a seat and look like you had been there for a while at the first sign that he would enter the room. He didn’t though, and you fell into the seat with a thankful sigh, as you didn’t know how much more you could take of that guy. At the same time Bender made some weird noises before he stood, discreetly casting you a wink as he made for the door.

“You know, there’s not supposed to be any monkey business-” you rolled your eyes and groaned, while Bender, in a striking impression of Vernon asked him if he had finished his paper. The respect you were gaining for the dweeb was slowly dropping again. You watched with a smile and slight admiration as Bender looked for Vernon, noting for some reason how he popped the collar of his jacket before he did so. Once he was sure the coast was clear he reached up and started unscrewing the thing that kept the door open. 

“Come on Bender, don’t screw around!”

“Oh shut up!” A boot hit the jock in the head, your boot to be exact, and landed with a thump on the floor as he turned around to glare at you. “Well shut up! It’s not like you’re at risk of getting in trouble.” You didn’t see why they cared what he did, it was his choice.

“What are you gonna do?” The redhead asked, trying to see exactly what he was doing in a nosy fashion.

“Drop dead I hope.” There went your other shoe.

It was silent for a few moments, as the wrestler was turned half around in his seat, looking from you to Bender, the others too watching the criminal as he worked at unscrewing the screws. It was Brian, who had been watching fretfully who spoke this time, “Bender that’s- that’s school property there, that’s you know-  that doesn’t belong to us, it’s something that’s not to be toyed with.” Damn, did you wish you had another shoe to throw. 

The door shut with a slam that Vernon had no doubt heard. As Bender hastened to take a seat, the other two boys urged him to fix the door. “Am I a genius?” He asked as he plopped into the chair next you.

“No you’re an asshole!” The Letterman retorted in a yell as he turned around in his seat. 

“What a funny guy,” Bender said in a fake voice as he folded his hands on the table,and pushing his chair in, the jock still yelling for him to fix the door. Bender though, was just trying to get everyone to quiet down before Vernon came. The idiot persisted though, and Bender kept telling to be quiet, until you yelled over them all to shut the hell up. Whether it was you or that fact the Vernon’s yelling was heard at the moment that made the room fall silent you didn’t know. You crossed your arms over your chest and relaxed in your seat just as the jerk turned around and Vernon walked in looking pissed. You weren’t afraid, you had gotten yelled at by teachers plenty of times before, but you couldn’t say the same for some of the others in the room.

(Part I) (Part II) (Part III) (Part IV) (Part V) (Part VI) (Part VII)

listen, I’m also a bitter hag of a human being and I get wanting to complain about things you find annoying because I do it, too! but sometimes you gotta shove that shit under a readmore link or complain to a friend who feels the way that you do and let other people be. stop getting your jollies from making people feel bad about harmless fun and just accept that you’re not morally superior for being uninterested.

A Princess of Nothing

+ Peter Pan- Once Upon a Time


Prompt: Peter falls in love with a mistake of the night, in what was a moment of weakness. Now, he can’t tear his eyes away from the royal beauty and he’s gone too deep in what was supposed to be another visit to the mainland. 

There was a boy named Peter. You met him long nights ago, escaping from the illusion that was your diluted family. 

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