get these cameras away from me

Wanna park and act like an a**hole? Enjoy paying thousands.

Years ago, I worked as a security officer in a high-traffic tourist area (graveyard shift).

One of my responsibilities was to make sure my building’s loading/unloading zone is kept clear because at all hours of the day we’ve got vehicles coming and going for people going to meetings, visitors, tourists, cabs, etc. The curb is painted white and marked in big bold letters ✶ LOADING AND UNLOADING ONLY ✶ NO PARKING ✶. At the end of the zone there was a single handicap parking stall painted bright blue.

Now the building I worked at was nearby a few large night clubs, so every Friday and Saturday the area would be crazy busy with drunken fighting, vomiting, occasional alleyway sex, etc. All night long there’d be cute girls milling around in skimpy outfits, so the job had its perks too.

Clubbers would take advantage of my building’s valet parking service and pay to park in our garage before heading out to one of the clubs across the street.

Some clubbers would think they could get away with parking in our loading zone all night. My coworkers and I would aggressively patrol the area in the earlier evening hours and advise as many people as we could so they’d leave and avoid getting a ticket. It was also better for us if they left, because when there were too many vehicles parked out front, traffic would become a complete clusterf*ck regardless of the time of day.

Most people would be grateful for the information and leave. Occasionally, some douche would laugh in our faces, say something about pigs or rent-a-cops or whatever and leave their car anyway. In those cases, we’d call our city’s parking enforcement and they’d get a $90 ticket for their troubles.

One Saturday night, after finished a round of patrols, I went to take a leak. On my way back out, I walked past Dispatch and my buddy calls me over to the surveillance bank.

“Hey bro, you got one out front.”

I turned to the grainy feed just in time to see a piece-of-junk ‘97 BMW sloppily parking in front of our building. I murmured that I’d go out and advise the driver, but before I could leave, the driver exited his vehicle.

My buddy and I watched in silence as the driver, a young black male adorned with flashy cheap bling, hiked his pants up at the crotch and blocked the path of a couple girls walking by. He started hitting on them in the slimiest way possible, even trying to grab their hands and asses at one point, staring shamelessly at their tits while he was schmoozing them. He took out his phone and shoved it at them, presumably asking for their numbers.

Eventually the girls were able to dodge his grabbers and ran off toward the club across the street. He repeated this routine several more times with various groups of girls walking by, even taking out a small bottle of vodka from his back pocket and offering swigs. With each rejection, he’d get angry and presumably cuss out the girls as they hurried off (our cameras didn’t pick up audio but this seemed a reasonable assumption).

I sighed and looked at my buddy.

“Well, I guess I’ll go talk to him.”

I made my way out to the front and approached him just as another group of girls ducked away from him. I called out to him. He turned and stared at me blankly.

“Hey, man, just wanted to let you know that this zone is for loading and unloading. Normally it’s not a big deal to park for a bit but if everyone does it on the weekends, traffic gets backed up pretty bad here.”

The douche looked at his vehicle, then at my badge.

“F*CKYOUB*TCHASSN☻☻☻☻I'LLF*CKYOUUP. PIGASSWANNABECOPMOTHAF*CKA.”

I looked at my watch. It was about 10:30PM. I continued my spiel.

“Parking enforcement here is pretty strict. You should move your vehicle or you might get ticketed–”

“F*CKYOUN☻☻☻☻SUCKMYD*CK. BETTERNOTTOUCHMYSHITN☻☻☻☻ILLF*CKYOUUPN☻☻☻☻.”

“Have a good night sir.”

He flipped me off and went across the street, where he was promptly denied entry for dress code violations. He cussed out the bouncer and wandered off down the block. I walked over to his vehicle and saw that it was parked crooked, the rear of the vehicle partially blocking the lane of traffic. Half of his vehicle was in the white zone, the other in the blue zone. I key’d up my radio.

“8million to dispatch.”

“8million, go ahead.”

“Can you call parking enforcement for this vehicle? Lemme know when you’re ready for the plate.”

Fifteen minutes later, the parking officer arrived. He looked at the vehicle and promptly issued a $90 ticket for parking in the white zone and a $900 ticket for parking in the blue zone without a permit.

I thanked the officer and went back inside to have a snack.

A couple hours later, two of the local cops stopped by to say hi. As Officer Morris and his partner walked over, Dispatch radio’d me.

“Hey 8million, is that Jones and Morris?”

“Sure is.”

“You gonna do what I think you’re gonna do?”

“Yep.”

Officer Jones and I lit up our cigarettes as Officer Morris looked on disapprovingly. We all smoked and chatted for a bit, then I casually motioned over my shoulder at the BMW.

“Hey, Jones, check out the parking job on that piece of shit.”

We all walked over to the corner and looked at the vehicle, the two tickets stuck on the windshield flapping in the wind. Officer Morris grabbed one of the tickets, read it over and looked at me.

“What’s the story here?”

I told them what happened and the driver’s response. Officer Jones and Morris looked at each other.

“8million, you got the time?”

“Yeah, it’s… 12:27AM.”

“Well it’s a whole new day now isn’t it?”

Officer Morris proceeded to write another $90 ticket for the white zone, then another $900 ticket for the blue zone. He paused for a moment after finishing the second one.

“Hey Jones, looks like this vehicle is parked more than twelve inches from the curb. What do you think?”

“Sounds about right.”

Officer Morris wrote another ticket for $120 and slapped it on the pile of tickets on the windshield. I shook both officer’s hands and they left to continue their patrols.

The next few hours of my shift went by fairly quickly. Around 5AM, Dispatch scared the hell out of me.

“HEY 8MILLION, ARE YOU STILL ON THAT CALL?”

“Negative, I just finished clearing it.”

“RESPOND TO DISPATCH ASAP.”

I ran down to the surveillance bank, where my coworkers were all gathered and laughing their asses off. Sunday was street cleaning day and the BMW was getting ticketed again by parking enforcement.

After that, we all stopped by Dispatch every 5-10 minutes to see if the owner had returned. Finally, at about 6AM, douchebag came stumbling up the block, looking completely worn out. His formerly-white t-shirt was stained and dirty and it looked like he’d lost at least one fight.

We watched in suspense as he looked at the pile of tickets crammed together on his windshield and slowly removed them. He stood there, pants sagging below his knees, shuffling through each ticket as if he were a toddler with a handful of Pokémon cards.

With a look of abject defeat on his face, he got into his vehicle and drove off. The whole room erupted in laughter and high-fives.

As the laughter died down, I picked up the office phone and started dialing. My coworkers eyed me curiously. I put the call on speaker just as the call connected.

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

“Yeah, hi, I’d like to report a possible drunk driver. I have the vehicle and driver description when you’re ready.”

Problems with the Witchblr Community

There are some serious fucking problems occurring on this website, like:

  1. Peoples’ grimoires are way too artistic. Like seriously you all need to tag that shit like “hey this may trigger you because this Van Gogh beautifully-crafted art style might blind you and gush your morality with its beauty and cause your perspective of your own grimoire/BOS to wilt like a flower on fire”. I don’t take the time to even update my BOS, never mind decorate it with these gorgeous illustrations.
  2. The quality of pictures are way too high. I don’t know where people are getting all these professional cameras. Like I take pictures with my phone or shitty Samsung and post them, and I know I wouldn’t even reblog that shit, the quality is way too low. This results in a standard of high quality Instagram-worthy pictures that is too high for me to keep up with, y’all need to lower your photography skills.
  3. Peoples’ altars are too perfectly positioned in the sunlight, like bathing in the holiness of the sun or moon and washing any of vestige of mortality away from that spot. This kinda weaves into the photography complaint but basically, y’all stop being so artsy.
  4. Digital sigils are too easily and perfectly displayed. I don’t know how people make those sigils, it’s like an elusive angelic society that just sprinkles down talent and useful spells like falling stars. Seriously y’all need to post a how-to on that shit because I don’t have a tablet and just take pictures of hand-drawn sigils, but even those who post their hand-drawn sigils draw them incredibly better than I draw my sigils. 
  5. The witches on this site are way too creative. They’re all thinking of tips and techniques I never thought of before, and it makes everyone else feel dumb because they didn’t think of them first.
  6. Pretty much every witch on this site seems to have a green thumb. They say taking care of plants doesn’t require a green thumb, but I beg to differ because pretty much every plant I own dies. Like I don’t know if it’s because I’m a death witch and am literally radiating death energy, but I can’t keep plants alive for my own life. Green witches gotta share their real secrets, HOW are you keeping your plants alive.
  7. Then there are some problems like elitism, transphobia, homophobia, racism, nazism, blatant disrespect for peoples’ religions and cultures, the hatred with which we argue, and the fear that I’m always being scrutinized and that no matter what I say extreme SJWs will cherry-pick the things I say and misconstrue my argument into something i never said in the first place so i might as well just not even say my opinion on anything which i’m doing right now so i’ll just shut up and continue the joke
  8. The spooky and ethereal Witch Aesthetic™ is too on point. All the hanging herbs and lit candles and smoke from incense are too entrancing and immediately calm my mood and cause me to daydream about the eloquence of the witchy aesthetic. It’s too romanticized. It causes me to enjoy my own craft too much, and I reblog too many of them. We need to cut those down by a bunch.

Just had to get that off my chest.

the wardrobe

James: Look at him being all “I’m a cool teacher”. Wanker.

Lily: Shut up you are just jealous.

James: Jealous? Jealous?! He became everything we hated Lils.

Lily: You are as dramatic as Sirius today Jamie.

James: Ooh, the Longbottom kid is first, I bet he is afraid of Augusta, Merlin knows Frankie was.

Lily: Did he just say-

James: Oh yes he did. That bastard bullied that kid so much, he became his biggest fear.

Lily: I- I’m-

James: I’m so excited! He is gonna make Snivellus look like Augusta, I remember that red handbag!

*Wands at the ready, Remus opens the wardrobe Snape walks out*

Lily: *watching warily* He looks so different, like he is taller.

James: It’s because the poor kid is scared of him shitless, Riddikulus Neville come on.

*Riddikulus and Snape is now wearing Augusta’s clothes*

James: *doubles over laughing* Moony– You– legend.

Lily: *tries not to laugh, fails* If Severus hears this–

James: *still laughing* Moony doesn’t give a fuck.

Lily: *grinning* I can see that.

James: Merlin– that hat. It suits him well. *tries to regulate his breath*

Lily: *smiling* That smirk on Harry’s face is all too familiar. 

James: Like father, like son.

*Boggart morphs into a mummy in front of Parvati*

James: That Parvati girl did well! 

Lily: Oh my– Seriously Seamus, a banshee?

James: I mean, kid has a point, that thing is scary.

*Dean walks up to the wardrobe*

Lily: A severed hand, like the one from the Addams Family?

James: From the what?

Lily: Don’t worry about it, Muggle thing. 

James: I know most Muggle things.

Lily: *disappointed* I never had the time to show you this one.

James: *changes the subject* Oh, Ronniekins of course has spiders for Boggarts.

*Harry walks up to the wardrobe, wand at the ready, looking excited*

Lily: It’s Harry’s turn, what if–

James: It wouldn’t assume his form Lils

Lily: But

*Remus throws himself in front of the Boggart*

Lily: Of course, it’s the full moon. 

James: The one thing he is scared of. 

Lily: He probably thought what we thought, still protective of the fawn.

James: Well, of course he is, don’t you remember how scared he was when he first held him?

Lily: *with a smile* Of course, I do

James: Well at least there’s someone who’s looking out for him now.

Lily: Soon, he will have Sirius back, too.

James: If the idiot doesn’t get himself locked up for committing the murder he was locked up for.

Lily: Well, that’s a possibility but Remus is sensible, I trust him.

*cue to the scene where Remus says “together” and Lily just stares at the camera like she’s in the office*

Lily: Have you ever seen a Boggart?

James: Yeah, once when I was 18 and I couldn’t do shit until my mum came and found me.

Lily: What did you see?

James: All of you guys were de-

Lily: *looking away* Oh, I- I see.

James: Those are foul creatures Lils, I’m actually glad Moony stopped Harry from facing his Boggart. 

Lily: Me, too. 

The Habit of Planning

Prompt: During a busy day at Central Park, Lin mistakes Y/N as a paparazzi and he is not happy.

Pairing: Lin x reader

Words: 4,759 (brace yourselves)

A/N: I’ve been writing for this for so long, I’m glad it’s out of my head. I wrote the basis of the fic under the tags for ‘Monochrome’, and a couple of you guys happened to read it and told me I should write it! So thank you to all of you! I hope you guys enjoy!

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anonymous asked:

Prompt- lena is running for president and she meets kara on the campaign trail

“Ponytail” Kara jerked to attention, “Lena Luthor will be in National City for her Presidency campaign. You’re covering it.”

“What?”

“Did I stutter?” Kara adjusted her glasses shaking her head. Snapper had never given her anything so high profile before, it was just a shock. “Great. Don’t screw it up.”

//

“Sorry. Excuse me. I’m sorry.” Kara shuffled sideways through the row towards an empty seat in the middle. Clutching her purse to her side trying not to hit anyone in the face. Slipping into the seat, Kara dropped her purse between her feet rummaging for her notepad and pen.

Kara looked around the room as a man at the mic thanked everyone for attending and made Lena’s introduction. It was a small venue, a bit bigger than a school gymnasium, but not by much. There was press scattered throughout the room, but mostly it was women and young adults that filled the seats. A few held hand made signs of support, calling people to vote for Lena as president.

The clicking of heels on the stage brought Kara’s attention back to the stage. She was well versed on Lena’s platform, she had been paying attention to the poles, and the interviews, and generally staying informed, but she had never seen the woman in person. The cameras certainly didn’t do her justice.

//

Lena crossed the stage, as she had done a hundred times before. Ignoring the flashes of cameras and the random shouting Lena smiled into the crowd, thanking everyone once again for coming. The floor was immediately opened to questions from the public. Not all were relevant or profound but Lena answered each one as they were the most important question. Finally at her time signal, she opened the floor to the press.

The first to jump up from her seat was a tall blonde. Hair tied back in a ponytail, wearing a yellow sundress, and thick rimmed glasses.

“Hi Ms. Luthor, Kara Danvers from CatCo magazine.” Lena gave a smile of support as the young woman stumbled over her question. She was not the typical image of the female reporter Lena saw on the campaign trail. She was the exact opposite. Most women of the press she saw took on the same serious hard looks as the men. Kara Danvers however, stood among the sea of black like a ray of sunshine.

A snicker brought Lena’s attention back. She could tell Kara was nervous but she had still asked a relevant and important question. How did she plan to support (financially or otherwise) for her initiative to keep more young girls interested in STEM throughout their academics? As a woman that had built most of her career off a background in science, it was a cause dear to her heart. As she spoke she noticed the woman’s brows furrowing as she scribbled. Without realizing it Lena had started to move up on her toes, as if the motion would somehow let her see what was being written down so frantically.

As Lena made her way through the rest of the questions her eyes kept drifting to the reporter. Watching her as Kara watched other reporters ask their questions before scribbling down Lena’s answers. As the time slot came to an end, Lena gracefully made her exit, listening to her closer tell the audience that Ms. Luthor would be back on the floor in a minute to mingle and introduce herself. After a quick drink of water to prepare herself for the next hour of chatting Lena went back out to say more personal hello’s to those who came to show their support.

Immediately pulled in by a group of young women looking to get a photo, Lena looked away from Kara to smile at the camera. When she looked back at the chairs they were empty. Determined not to be bothered by the quick exit Lena continued making her rounds, nodding politely at suggestions offered, smiling for photos, and answering questions that didn’t have the opportunity to be heard when she was on stage. Catching a glimpse of yellow Lena turned mid photo.

“I’m sorry.” Lena smiled again for the camera before placing her hand on the person’s back. “If you’ll excuse me.” Lena departed before she heard groans of disappointment. Her eyes narrowing in on the reporter that was currently talking to a young man that had come out to hear her talk.

“Hello” Lena smiled at the young man before turning slightly to Kara. “Sorry, I interrupted… please continue.”

“No no Ms. Luthor, Eli here just finished answering my question on why he believes you have so many young people here today.” Kara smiled brightly as the young man took his cue to leave.

“I hope you won’t be using that as your code for LGBT” Lena’s lifted her eyebrow as she saw the realization flash across Kara’s face as she quickly took in the group again, suddenly seeing all the Pride paraphernalia she had missed before. “Apparently everyone here but you already knows my little secret.”

“I didn’t-“

“It’s ok, I came out of the closet long before I ever thought of running for president. But it would make a nice touch don’t you think? First lesbian president.”

“Yes it would!” 
Feeling like she poked enough fun at Kara, Lena decided to switch topics.“You didn’t seem impressed by my answers today Ms. Danvers.”

“I’m not sure if I was.” Lena was used to the doubt. She had been stuck with it ever since she was adopted and took on the Luthor name.

“Why is that exactly?”

“Your views. They are wonderful. But I feel that you are optimistic. That you will not be able to make them happen as easily as you think they will.”

“One thing I have learned Ms.Danvers-“

“Kara, please.”

“One thing I have learned, Kara” Lena smiled as the name rolled off her tongue. “Is that things rarely come easy.”

Crossing her arms Lena continued when she saw Kara’s eyes soften. “I just want to make a difference, you understand that?”

“Yeah…”

Lena finally broke eye contact as she saw Jess motioning off to the side.  “I do have a question for you though Ms. Luthor-“

“Lena.”

“Lena.”

“Unfortunately Kara. I have to keep making rounds. But…how about I take you out to dinner?” Lena smirked, lightly biting down her bottom lip. “And you can ask me anything you want.” Lena signalled Jess to approach.

“Jess, can you give Kara my card? And write my personal number on it please.” Lena mouth twitched as she watched Kara’s lips fall open slightly in surprise. “I hope this isn’t the last time we talk.”

Kara took the card from Jess was she watched Lena walk away smiling to a couple she moved towards. “I hope not either.”

maramcgregor  asked:

Bitty spends so much of the year alone. Kent Parson suggests he adopts a pet. He may strongly suggest a cat. One may (or may not) show up.

“I’m not really a cat person.”

Kent gapes at the camera like Eric just backhanded him from three states away.

“I’m sorry, have I dropped into some parallel universe where you’re suddenly a shitty person? Everyone likes cats.”

“I don’t know why I’m just more of a dog guy. Maybe I’ll get a puppy or something when the season winds down.”

“It’s like I don’t even know you,” Kent laments, lifting Kit up to the screen. “How can you say no to this?”

“She is pretty cute,” Eric sighs and waggles his fingers so Kit bats at Kent’s laptop screen. “But just not for me, you know?”

“No, I don’t know, traitor.” Kent lowers Kit and frowns at Eric. “I’m judging you. Cats are the best. Dogs can’t take care of themselves when you’re away.”

“Says the man with a cat nanny for overnight trips.”

“Kit has a very specific diet, okay? She needs special attention.”

“I’m not getting a cat,” Eric says, final. 

Kent huffs. “Fine. Next best option: billet a rookie. They’re basically pets: you get to feed them and take them for walks and dress them in little outfits. They’re helpless. You’ll love it.”

The Only Exception (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,442

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, hot firemen, sarcasm, cynicism, bad jokes

A/N: Okay, so I saw a movie a long long time ago that was terrible, but it inspired the ‘bad’’ love advice and the firemen. I’ve been dying to have fireman!Bucky in one of my AUs.

And yes, the title comes from the Paramore song. I felt like it’s how reader feels throughout. Hope you guys like it. I had some writer’s block, and some house guests, so this is a little late being posted.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 -

Originally posted by 8bit-arc-reactor

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Daydreaming

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a superstar actor in Hollywood, and the reader works as a photographer for an upscale fashion and pop culture magazine. One day, she is assigned to take photographs of Bucky to promote his upcoming movie, but her schoolgirl crush on Mr. Barnes proves to be a problem.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 3,547

Warnings: Smut (a little bit of D/S undertones, unprotected sex. Don’t get pregnant or catch STI’s,kids). Also some fluff, it’s not 100% smut.

A/N: This is my submission for Kait’s (@bionic-buckyb) 5k AU challenge! My prompt was “Model/Photographer”. Hope you enjoy! (also if anyone can guess what reference I’m making with the fake movie title I put in this fic, you get brownie points!)

Originally posted by little--batman



Another day, another photoshoot in the studio with some rude celebrity who thinks they’re better than you.

You sigh, shuffling over to the strobe to make sure it’s synced properly to your camera. With a quick press of your shutter button, the light goes off, and you’re satisfied that everything is set up perfectly for today’s shoot. Your contentment doesn’t last long, though; the thought of having to deal with another snobby subject clouds your brain. Sure, the concept of meeting celebrities every day at your job seemed cool, but once you got used to it, you realized that they’re all just regular people. There was hardly anything special about anyone you met, aside from the few who were very nice and complimented how good you made them look with your camera.

“Oh, wonderful, you’re all set up!” Michael, the fashion consultant and your bosses’ assistant, bursts through the studio doors. “James will be here in a second. I want you to make him look SO sexy in these photos, got it, Y/N? Carol needs to be proud of our work when she’s back from vacation.”

You shake your head and give him the slightest pathetic smile you can. “I can’t make someone sexy if they already have an ugly face, Michael. Now which James are we talking about?”

“James Barnes?” Michael looks shocked, his eyes widening as he says the name. “For his new movie, ‘Farewell, Atlantis’?”

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anonymous asked:

RFA members react to mc trying to find out if they are ticklish 🙈

Im low key ticklish to certain people, like some people will get a reaction from me, some people won’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ~Madre

Yoosung
•It was a beautiful day outside, birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, Yoosung was in his room playing LOLOL
•Until you got curious
•Was yoosung ticklish???? He seems like the kind of person who would?????
•you made up a small plan in your head and acted upon it
•sneaking up behind yoosung h̶e̶ h̶a̶d̶ h̶i̶s̶ h̶e̶a̶d̶p̶h̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ o̶n̶ t̶h̶a̶n̶k̶ g̶o̶d̶
•you slowly advanced a hand to his armpit and attacked
•the noise he made was that of when you accidentally step on a dogs tail. So like a high pitched whine
•After assaulting his arm pits Yoosungs face was red
•"Mc~ Why did you do that~“ He asked
•You just went back to your spot on the bed and smiled “Testing out a hypothesis.”

Jaehee
•You wanted to know
•Does Jaehee Kang is ticklish???
•Plan one was going to be to sneak up on her, but quickly remembering that she has a black belt and WILL flip you
•You thought otherwise
•So you went with the second best option. Asking her!
•"Hey Jaehee, are you ticklish?“ You asked it out of the blue
•She was confused where the question came from.
•"I probably am. Why did you ask?”
•"It was better than sneaking up on you.“
•You did go to tickle her sides after your statment
•Jaehee’s giggles sounds like an angel

Zen
•"Is Korea’s biggest actor ticklish? That is the question I’m going to answer.” You whispered to your phone
•You are currently recording a documentary on if Zen is ticklish or not
•It made you feel like one of those people on animal planet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
•You quietly tip toed to the living room where zen is working out
•"Here we have Zen Hyun in his natural habitat. Doing his afternoon routine.“
•You were behind the couch at this point, your voice getting quieter, currently unaware that zen can still hear you, but being nice he decided to ignore it
•"I must be quiet, for even the slightest sound can make him run away.”
•Skillfully tip toeing from behind the couch you move towards zen only for you to step on a weak spot on the carpet, causing the floor underneath it to squeak in protest
•at that moment you knew, you fucked up
•Zen turned his head to you and smirked before quickly getting up and running to you
•"ZEN NOTICED ME! I’M CURRENTLY RUNNING AWAY FROM THE WILD ZEN AS HE TRIES TO CATCH M E!“
•He quickly caught up to you and held you in his arms, kissing every piece of skin he could reach
•with you distracted he took your phone and looked at the camera
•"The wild zen has captured her princess, for disturbing his peace, he will devour her~”
•You didn’t find out if he was ticklish that day

Jumin (sorry for shortness)
•It was an odd thought
•Was Jumin ticklish?
•He’s getting better at showing emotions, even if it’s a little
•Plus you haven’t heard him laugh before
•It wouldn’t hurt to try
•You walked out to his home office, ignoring his questions on why you are in there
•you put your hands at his neck and wiggled your fingers a little
•"Hehe.“ It was a small sound. But as you got more determined you wiggled your fingers faster
•Jumin tries to stop you, but its hard when the love of his life is tickling his neck from behind
•His laugh is deep and loud
•it was hot

Seven
•Is he ticklish?
•Yes
•Can he be tickled?
•Unless you come up with a plan that he won’t know about…
•Saeyoung is hard to tickle, since he is always a few steps ahead of you
•So you made a plan to tickle him when he decides to go to bed
•It took a while to figure out when he goes to bed but it was worth it
•tonite when he got into the bed to snuggle up close, you quickly wrapped your legs around his waist and flipped him onto his back
•He was confused and tired
•while he was trying to figure out what was going on, you started attacking his sides with your fingers
•it was a challenge to keep tickling him, since he tries to squirm away from your assaulting fingers
•but it was worth it to hear his cute little laughs and small empty threats~

Viktor and Yuuri do an engagement photoshoot after the season ends and after they get officially engaged. I say ‘officially engaged’ because Viktor thinks they’ve been engaged this whole time, but Yuuri Katsuki probably won’t accept anything other than Viktor getting down on one knee in front of God and everybody and carefully announcing the words, “Yuuri Katsuki. Yes, you. Love of my life. Light of my world. Will you marry me? As in be my husband? As in be bonded to me by the rite of holy matrimony for as long as we both shall live?”

So they do an engagement photo shoot once all of this happens, mostly because their fans cry ugly tears at them over multiple social media platforms until they do it, but also because Phichit has this Shiny New Photography Degree that he’s aching to do something with, and because they both agree that they want something to remember the whole thing by.

And of course, the whole world is going wild imagining what Viktor “Extra” Nikiforov’s engagement pictures will look like. There will be skates. There will be gold medals. There will be costumes with either sequins or feathers or maybe both. The eye make-up will be able to kill a man and it will look like a Cirque du Soleil publicity release. There might be doves? Probably artificial snow. Will Katsuki even be IN them or will it just be Nikiforov, standing there and looking profoundly and intensely Russian.

When the photos are finally released, they are posted very quietly to Instagram at one o’clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday. Phichit posts the whole roll on an account he has exclusively for his more professional photography; they are all captioned, “Celebrating the engagement of my two good friends and two good people, Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov.”

They aren’t what anyone was expecting.

The pictures are taken in the Saint Petersburg flat. Yuuri and Viktor are both barefoot in most of the pictures. They are wearing matching sweaters, both in subtle and calm shades of blue. Black jeans. In one picture, Yuuri is kissing Viktor’s cheek and Viktor is looking at the camera with soft eyes and soft mouth and imperfect hair. In another, Yuuri is sitting on the couch with Makkachin draped over his lap; Viktor is standing behind with his arms braced on the back, almost like he’s presenting them; this is them, my little family, the two beings in the world who mean the most to me. 

The picture that gets the most likes–the only one that Yuuri reposts; the only one that Viktor cross posts to all of his social media; the one that ends up being printed out and hung in apartments and houses around the world, from Hasetsu to Saint Petersburg to Bangkok–is taken on the little balcony off their bedroom. The sun is setting, and Viktor has Yuuri between himself and the railing. They are facing away from the camera. Phichit told them to hold their rings up to the sun, and they did. The shot is done over Viktor’s shoulder–silver hair, the top of a raven-haired head, and two hands stretching out towards the sky, rings glinting gold.

Taehyung's vlive: A summary

- half a million people watching him eat 2 burgers and fries (it made me so happy)

- him walking off for 30 seconds just to come back and show us some shirts

- Soft Jazz music playing in the background

- Turns on singing in the rain and starts dancing to it for about a solid half a minute

- 3 quarters of a million people seeing him spill liquid on his shirt and pants and watch him get up and wipe off his shirt

- walks away from the camera again and when he walks back into the shot about 20 seconds later he is buttoning up a new, clean shirt. I was shook.

- Turns on Frank Sinatra and then leans back in his desk chair and straight up makes eye contact with the camera lens for 25 seconds….and does nothing.

- long haired Taehyung

- glasses Taehyung

- messy eater Taehyung

Punk (Chap. 5)


Summary: You’re head over heels for your best friend Bucky and hate the nickname he gave you as it doesn’t exactly scream romance.

Word count: 2942

Warnings: Same as always

A/N:  FYI on Chap. 4 I had to go back and make a minor change bc of a continuity error.  Bucky’s hair is short (think TJ Hammond style) in this fic and i slipped up an put in a man-bun note (it’s my weakness). Sorry!  Now, back to the story….



Abandoning Wanda in your closet to hunt through the mass of new clothes you’d unceremoniously shoved in there earlier, you raced down the floor towards Nat’s room, ready to call the whole night off after that disaster of a dinner.  You rounded the corner and attempted to stop short but your socks had no grip and you crashed into a wall of muscle.  “Sorry, Sam,” you mumbled.  “You okay?” Sam laughed and steadied you back on your feet.

You heard Bucky snort from behind and winced. Great, he’d just seen you stuff your face full of Chow Mein and apple pie and now he caught you hurdling down the hallway like the giant boulder from Indiana Jones.  “He’s fine,” Bucky clapped him on the back.  “Not even you could crack this thick skull.”  

And with that he pulled Sam’s sweatshirt hood over his eyes and gave him a noogie before guffawing like a doofus and racing past you with Sam hot on his heels.

“Ay yo!  What the hell’s that mean?!” he hollered.  “And don’t touch my hair, man!”  Sam’s voice carried down the hallway as he chased your best friend.  A loud thud and muffled ‘ooof’ confirmed that he’d caught up to him and apparently rugby tackled him in the living room.

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Going with Harry to tape the BBC Radio 1 interview with Grimmy (Fluffy af)

Or when you have to keep secret that you filmed a video question for Harry…

“Nervous?” you ask before taking a large bite of toast with butter and jam.

“It’s just a normal chat with Nick,” he wipes the crumbs from your lip before you can swat his hand away, adding, “I’m just nervous for it to air.”

“Yeah, too bad we can’t be on the beach with Nicky when that happens,” you smirk from your perch on one of the tall stools by the breakfast bar.

Harry smacks your thigh lightly from his seat next to you, nearly spitting out his tea. “You know he hates when you call him that,” he tilts his head to the side as his body shakes silently with laughter.

“‘S’why I call ‘im that,” you say with a mouthful of jam.

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wither me down

Summary: It’s strange, how Otabek doesn’t mind that his lungs are filled with flowers and each day is more agonizing than the last. After all, loving Yuri Plisetsky is a privilege in and of itself. (belated happy valentine’s day! warning for character death, otayuri, hanahaki au, word count: 6166)



He first meets Yuri when he is twelve, almost thirteen. He is hunched over, heaving from the strenuous exercise that Yakov made them do, and he looks up to try again when he sees him. He must be ten at the oldest, and is without a doubt the best student in that room. Otabek never pays much attention to the other students, but this time he looks at this boy, who manages to complete the exercise he’s been struggling with effortlessly.

And then the boy’s head turned to look at his direction, and he is captivated.

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Camping AUs 

‘cause you get lighter the more it gets dark by arolouis

 Alternatively, Louis and Harry go camping with Doris and Ernest, and have a lot of feelings. (8k)

counting the steps between us by @zarahdetand

AU. So, yeah. That year abroad helped Harry establish that he is in love with his best friend. Now, if Louis would stop treating him like a little brother, that would be awesome. (Additional ingredients: a collapsing tree house, a lot of pining, the other three boys as Louis’ new best mates from university, and a camping trip. Serve hot.) (24k - a fave)

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cannedtalent  asked:

Ok idk how decent a prompt this'll be or what even counts as a decent prompt, feel free to ignore me... but.. something that has Kent and NHL!Bitty in it (maybe Jack too IDK)??? idk?? they'd conceivably all be at the All Star Game at the same time (idk how the divisions work out there but shit that would mean Kent and Bitty on the same team???)

Reynolds is going over the Falconers new marketing proposal for the second time when Jack’s phone starts buzzing in his pocket. He ignores it, but it starts up again right after.

“Excuse me for just a moment,” he slips out of the meeting room into an empty office to see it’s a facetime call from Bitty. He answers to find it’s not his husband, but a grinning Kent Parson.

“Zimms! Hey, guess who made the All-Star team?”

“Lord, give me back my phone.”

Kent looks over his shoulder. “Shush, Tiny Boat, I’m your captain now.” He looks back to Jack. “I’ll give you a hint, his team lost last night, and you’re fucking him.”

“Parson!” 

“Or he’s fucking you. Equality or whatever.”

“Okay, yeah, I get it. It’s Bittle.” Jack sighs, before realizing what Kent had even said. “Wait. Bittle’s playing in the All-Star game? With you?”

“Yeah, and against you, Iceman. But you do realize you’ll lose with the fastest guys in the league playing on my squad. It’s going to be a fantastic year! So, it’s party time!”

“Congratulations, Bits!” Jack says loudly so Bitty will hear it. “Hey. Tell him ‘I love you’.”

“Aw,” Kent grins, “hey Bittle, Jack says he loves me.” 

The roar of laughter behind Kent gives Jack the feeling that Eric probably made some kind of rude gesture. Rightly so. A thought strikes him and Jack checks his watch.

“It’s only two in Seattle, you’re can’t party at lunch on a Tuesday.”

Kent’s jovial expression sobers. “Excuse you,” he tilts down his camera to reveal a bemused Bitty, Jeff, three men Jack doesn’t recognize offhand, and a lunch spread Jack is immediately wildly jealous of. “I’d say this is a party. Kudos to your Ride-or-Die B for hunting down a Michelin star reservation on like zero notice. Check out the charcuterie platter, it’s a thing of beauty.”

“I come here after every second home-loss. You just followed me here.” Eric protests from out of frame. “Jack, he took my phone.”

Kent turns away from the camera with a snappy nod. “And who ate the last piece of Sopressata? That’s right. You eat my wild boar, I make an awkward phone call to my ex on your phone. He’s snippy. Swoops, give him more wine.”

Bitty curses at Kent in response.

“Jack, I love him. We’re going to run away together.”

“You fucking wish, Parson.”

“I’m going to hang up now,” Jack announces over the brewing argument. “I have a meeting to get back to. Tell Bittle I’ll call him when I’m done.”

Jack ends the call and stares at the blank phone screen for a moment, listening to the dull murmurs of the meeting next door. He grips his phone tight and clenches his teeth together to hold back an excited cheer.

Bitty’s first All-Star game. Their first All-Star game.

Crossed Wires, Part 4 (Cole Sprouse x Reader)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Imagine: Upon Cole’s rejection of your feelings, you have vowed to leave show business for good. When you decide to attend the Teen Choice Awards as your last big event, he does something that surprises everyone.


“And the award for Choice Celebrity Couple is… Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart!”

The crowd went wild. While Riverdale cleaned up at the Teen Choice Awards this year, the Choice Celebrity Couple Award was a newly-introduced category, and stars from all aspects of show-business were vying for the title. Cole smiled gratefully, hugging KJ and Camilia before walking up to the stage with Lili hand-in-hand.

You sat at the end of the row, smiling politely and clapping for your friends. You’d initially refused to attend, but your agent convinced you–a of last hurrah of sorts (you couldn’t say no to free food). You had to admit, it was really fun to be on-stage with everyone to accept the Choice TV Drama Award, and hear everyone’s cheers when you were nominated for Choice TV Drama Actress (which went to Lili, of course).

Cole stood on stage, taking the surf board trophy from the presenters. He looked dapper as ever, trading in his sheep-shear jackets and striped hoodies for a fitted tuxedo and slicked hair. Despite everything, it made your heart flutter to see his James Dean smile.

“It is such an honor to receive the first ever Choice Celebrity Couple award,” Cole said. “I’d like to thank Roberto for bringing us all together, and Lili for being a great co-star… and KJ for staying out of our way!” Everyone laughed. KJ acted fake-angry.

“Yes, I’d like to thank our families and friends for supporting us in everything we do!” Lili said with a smile. The audience cheered.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!” The audience chanted. Cole grinned, leaning into Lili. She wrapped her arms around his neck tilting her face into his. The audience screamed with excitement.

Your heart dropped. You stood up, excusing yourself to the restroom. You didn’t need or want to see this. Not on your last day in show-business. KJ grabbed your hand to try and make you stay, but you wrestled it out of his grasp.

You were almost out the door when you heard something from the stage.

“Wait,” Cole said.

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imagine: bts @ pride festival

Seokjin- Agrees to wear three inch heels and a corset with his jeans if it means he can sit on top of their float and wave the whole time. Looks fucking amazing and rubs it in everyone’s face, both as a group and at least once to each as an individual. Wins an award he didn’t know he was up for. Gets hit on by half a dozen people and has no idea until Namjoon tells him the following day. Buys everyone a water and a souvenir. Gets himself a sparkly pink button that just says “Princess Bitch” on it. Brings up every embarrassing thing he witnesses of the other members at every opportunity for three weeks.

Yoongi- Wears exactly what he always wears, but with a tiny rainbow sticker on his cheek. Complains about the glitter. Complains about the noise. Complains about the walking. Stops complaining when Hoseok kisses him on the mouth. It doesn’t mean anything, but upon shutting up Yoongi entwines his fingers with Hobi and smiles along with him the rest of the night. Gets a button with the date and “PRIDE” on it. Later discovered that a picture of him and Hoseok kissing made it across half the internet and into three newspapers. Can’t explain how he finds 30 condoms in his pockets the next day. Vows to never go again.

Hoseok- Puts rainbow chalk in his hair and paints his face. Takes off his shirt and writes FREE HUGS on his chest in rainbow. Beats personal hug record, including every single person with a sign apologizing for their past homophobia. Kisses yoongi on the lips to shut him up, fully aware that they’re right in front of Jungkook’s camera. Engages in an extremely sexual dance off with a guy from the gay rodeo and gets his number. Steps away for ten minutes to help a family marching nearby with their grumpy child by carrying it on his shoulders. Gets a “look at me now” pin. Cries.

Namjoon- Wears a supportive t-shirt and rainbow suspenders and gets a rainbow flag to wear like a cape. Laughs and hides his face when Jimin grinds on him for reasons unknown. Tae tries it, too, but Namjoon is staring at Jin’s outfit and doesn’t notice. Goes to give a protestor a piece of his mind on Jungkook’s behalf, ends up hitting him on accident, tries to play it off as dancing. Loses his wallet. Gets an “all you need is love” button, which he puts on his computer bag, always wishing someone would ask where he got it. (No one ever does.)

Jimin- Black booty short, stilettos, about 40% of a shirt. Feels tall and confident. Grinds shamelessly into the air. Grinds shamelessly on Namjoon. Grinds shamelessly in the faces of the protesters. Laughs about not looking as good as Seokjin does in his corset. Briefly loses his confidence, but oh my god this is his jam and he can’t believe they actually played it can you believe it Yoongi- oh he’s occupied. Meets drag queens through Taehyung, thrilled. Lets a drunken lesbian lick his abs and leave a lipstick stain on his neck. Jealous that Yoongi got his picture in the media and he didn’t. Gets a button that says “kiss my ass” and a winky emoji.

Taehyung- Also heels and booty shorts, but his are rainbow instead of black, and he just wears a sash instead of anything remotely resembling a shirt. Make-up on point. Meets back up with some old drag queen friends, gets 8 million pictures. Holds one of every flag the whole night. His smile gets glitter in it, but he doesn’t care, because it’s his glitter. Tries to grind up against Namjoon, gets ignored. Tries to grind up against Jungkook, gets a blush and an elbow to the ribs. Grinds against protesters. Ends up putting all the flags in his back pocket so he can hold sparklers, walks so they wave. Gets a button that says “Warning: Bigots get DRAGged to hell.” Drags everyone (including Yoongi) back the following year.

Jungkook- Dressed normally, save a rainbow bandana around his neck. Lowkey checking out everyone there through his camera lens. Close to tears when he sees protester, but meets a dog and gets over it. Takes pictures of said dog, and later finds Namjoon in the background of one, hitting a protester in the face. Ignores it. Won’t stop asking what each flag means. Takes the picture of Almighty Jin that wins Jin an award. Takes a picture of Yoongi and Hoseok and kissing, shows it to Taehyung, and doesn’t understand when he starts receiving funds from newspapers over the copyright. Ends up a hundred dollars and 16 dog pictures richer. Gets a button that says “I Survived PRIDE” but still wonders how every time he sees a rainbow.

BEHAVE

SUMMARY - With Steve on a mission and Bucky in a meeting , you decide to have a little fun sexting. Things get dirty when Bucky comes back from the meeting . 

WARNINGS- daddy kink .SMUT , NSFW GIF , oral (MR , FR), phone sex 

WORDS - 3k+

A/N - This was completely Taw @supersoldierslover idea . Thank you so much . You know I love you .And I am so fucking happy that you liked it . If any warnings should be added pls send me an ask . I do not want to make anyone uncomfortable.


[ insert Steve and Bucky image , since my stupid wifi wasn’t uploading a pic]

Walking around the tower , eating biscuits , listening to music , talking to few of the agents , you spend the last hour waiting for Bucky to come back from the meeting .

2 WEEKS . Two weeks since Bucky and Steve were sent on different missions . Two weeks since you had seen either of them . Two weeks since you had touched yourself . Two weeks since you were properly fucked . Two weeks filled with burning desire to be filled , and to orgasm . But you still remember the last words uttered by your boyfriends before leaving for their mission .

“No touching . Okay baby doll . Behave and you will be rewarded .”

There was no way they’d know if you did pleasure yourself , but you wanted to behave . You knew if you refrained until the time they came , you’d cum harder than ever .

But now Bucky was back home in the tower , but you couldn’t do anything . The meeting was sure to last another hour . So you decided to have a little fun of yours .

You went back to the room , put on your sexy matching lingerie that you knew both of them liked .

It was pink in colour . They liked it because you looks sexy and innocent at the same time.

You stood in front of the mirror admiring the way it looked .Picking up the phone in your left hand , your right hand under your panties , you clicked a picture and send it to the group chat that you guys created for the three of you . A little teasing wouldn’t hurt .

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Not So Boring (Riverdale & Teen Wolf) ~ Jughead Jones

“Isaac get off of me!”


“What do you mean you idiot?


You’re on top of me!”


“Am not!”


“Am to!”


“Not!”


“To!”


“Would you two both shut up before I scream!” I finally yelled, hushing the two dorks I call my best friends immediately as they thought to my banshee scream that I shared with my cousin Lydia.


Luckily, Stiles and Isaac stopped arguing verbally at my threat, but continued jabbing each other in the ribs, which ended up jabbing me considering all three of us were tucked into a very small space…other wise known as a dumpster.


Long story short, Scott heard about some weird stuff going in on this town called Riverdale, and while he was touring his college choices, he sent Isaac, Stiles, and I to the small town to figure out what was going on, and more specifically what was behind it.


I blamed Stiles for all this considering whenever something strange or out of place happens, the Stilinski boy’s mind instantly jumps to the land of the supernatural bring the cause. And Scott, of course has to be Save-Everyone-McCall, even if they live on another freaking planet…or in this case, a really boring town.


Back to the dumpster situation, we needed somewhere to hide that was close enough to the scene of the crime where Jason Blossom was murdered, apparently by the supernatural. The plan was to hide out in here, then have Isaac use his super-hearing to clue us in one what was going on.


“What do you hear?” Stiles whispers after a few seconds of Isaac homing in on his werewolf powers causing the Lahey boy to glare at the human.


“The sound of my fist about to collide with your face.” He replied venomously, before getting back to business. “They’re saying something about how the cause of death wasn’t drowning, but a gunshot, right between the eyes.”


I sighed, leaning my head against the rusty wall of the dumpster. We had come all the way out here for nothing.


“It could still be supernatural.” Stiles tried to add in optimistically, causing me to turn and send a death glare his way, causing him to take a gulp in fear.


“What kind of supernatural creature uses a gun?” Isaac growled through his teeth.


“One with guns for hands?” Stiles suggested, though he knew he was screwed.


“You know what?” I sighed, “The both of you just shut up, and let’s get out of this boring little town.”


Stiles and Isaac nodded, opening up the lid of the dumpster before all of us hopped out and landed on the sandy ground.


“You’ve got a little something right..” Stiles trailed off as he reached up to grab something from my hair, but stopped short as he noticed something behind me. “Oh, hi.”


I turned on my heels to see a boy our age with a strange beanie on his head, and a camera around his neck, standing a few feet away. I had to admit he was pretty cool, in a kind of creepy-way.


Isaac pushed his shoulder against mine to bring me back to the real world, probably so I could explain to the guy why he had just seen three strangers climbing out of a dumpster.


The guy looked at me, his green eyes shining, “You’re not from here.”


I nodded, “Nope. We’re here to find the killer.”


The boy studied me for a moment before speaking again, “I’m Jughead. Jughead Jones.”


Stiles snorted from my left, “Strange name.”


Isaac rolled his eyes, “Coming from the guy who goes by Stiles. And don’t get me started on your real name, Mi-” Isaac was cut off by Stiles running at him pathetically.


“Don’t you dare, wolf boy!”


I rolled my eyes at the two boys fighting in the background, “Don’t mind them, they’re idiots. I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”


Jughead smirked slightly, “Well, (Y/N) welcome to Riverdale.”

I smiled lightly, maybe this town wasn’t so boring after all.

~~~~

“Wait. Did he say wolf boy?”


“Stiles!”