get over it karkat

davekat au: dave has a youtube channel where he reviews things. just… things. his most popular video is 17 minutes of him eating an apple in slow-mo, occasionally pausing to describe the precise details of the apple experience. he’s so deadpan that no one can tell if it’s a joke or not. karkat binge-watches his videos in an exhausted, insomniac haze at 3 in the morning, and then sends him an exhaustive 10-page mostly incoherent rant about how his channel is confusing and pointless in all caps. karkat promptly passes out and, the next morning, assumes it was all a strange and elaborate dream, until dave’s next video is a totally deadpan “review” of karkat’s “concerns.” the video gets over 100,000 views and its own meme. it launches dave into internet fame. karkat has never been more infuriated in his life. he rage-messages terezi, who owns a popular shitpost blog, who says OH Y34H 1M MUTU4LS W1TH H1M and then copypastes dave’s url. fast-forward 5 months and they’re dating

3

hi im bagel and my favourite trope is “everybody loves and supports eridan”

((anyways happy eridan day!!!!))

please tell me this isn’t the epilogue we’ve all been waiting for. or that there’s gonna be more. that includes dialogue and ties up loose ends. HUSSIE PLEASE. I NEED MORE THAN JUST PICTURES. WHAT IS DAVE AND KARKAT’S RELATIONSHIP? ARE THE PALE OR RED? i NEED CLOSURE IF I’M GOING TO GET OVER JOHNKAT. WHEN WILL KARKAT WILLINGLY FISTBUMP JOHN? IS HE OVER HIS CALIGNOUS CRUSH OR NOT? HAS HE VACILITATED? ARE JOHN DAVE AND KARKAT GOING TO BECOME POLY? WHAT’S GOING ON?

I’m never going to get over the fact that John is absolutely delighted by everything Karkat does

He loves everything that most people are annoyed by. Karkat’s insults and rants and incomprehensible metaphors are just amazing to John. The fact that he goes on some elaborate scheme to troll him backwards through the timeline is downright fantastic. It doesn’t matter that he’s only talked to Karkat on good terms over the course of a couple days, he’s going to miss him and think about him just as much as Dave and Rose, whom are his best friends. 

John is just so awed by Karkat’s quirks and what would ordinarily be considered unpleasant qualities and that’s honestly so wonderful I’m getting emotional about it okay. 

To the Davekat Haters:

So I’ve been seeing this lame thing recently in the davekat tag, people saying that davekat is abusive. You wanna tell me exactly how it’s abusive all you davekat haters? I’d actually love to hear why you think it’s abusive when Dave and Karkat help each other become better people. 

If it wasn’t for Karkat, Dave would have never had that conversation with Dirk before the final battle, he would have never been able to talk about his feelings. He even said in the conversation that Karkat was the only one who he could sort of talk to about these things; this means that Karkat helped Dave get over his emotion hiding problem. 

Dave helps Karkat relax. I mean take the vriskagram for example. Karkat spends the majority of his time on the meteor with Dave, and he looks genuinely happy! it s the FIRST TIME we see him smile in canon, and it’s AT DAVE. Also didya notice that Karkat was pretty okay (as okay as Karkat can be) with letting Vriska take the reigns as Leader for them? Old Karkat would have never been cool with that.

So go ahead and send me things, tell me why you think Davekat is abusive. I would love to hear it. 

Johnkat: Is it good?

oh boy, Johnkat, my old friend. this was my first homestuck ship and funnily enough, I’m actually not that embarrassed about it! other people have much worse ships as their first otps and quite frankly i’m glad this one was mine. but thats to say, its still not that great objectively, why? well, lets find out.
Karkat did canonically have a black crush on John, which was cute. but you have to keep in mind they are kids still, they arent going to make out or anything like that. Karkat gets over this crush after awhile, accepting John as his friend and not a romantic partner. this is the first main problem with the ship, it was explicitly stated that Karkat had no interest in being Johns kismesis anymore, and John never had any interest to begin with. but hey, i’m all for going out of canon, thats fine. how would they react to one another in an alternate dreambubble where they are together? well, I’m afraid i don’t think very well, this ship is NOT terrible. but i don’t think either of them would do much for eachother in any kind of quadrant, it wouldn’t be unhealthy but it would also be far from fulfilling for both of them given both of their personalities. in conclusion, Karkat had a crush, a cute BOYHOOD crush, that he got over and accepted John as his friend. i would feel weird shipping them in any quadrant, they are good friends and good boys.

archiveofourown.org
Rose: Beta Karkat's fic. (2264 words)

CG: …
CG: WELL?
TT: This is certainly something.
CG: OH GOD. DON’T SUGARCOAT IT, ROSE, IT WON’T MAKE IT TASTE ANY BETTER GOING DOWN.
TT: As my dear ectoslime brother would say: calm your tits, Karkat.
TT: It’s very interesting in a way I’m having trouble putting into words.

So heeeey remember this thing? It occurred to me finally that I’d never actually finished it, so I went ahead and did that. Enjoy!

Btw I don’t know how popular a headcanon this is but like Dave was 100% gay 4 John when he was 13 but repressed it so hard he just thought they were really weird and misguided platonic advances towards him?? Like yes maybe if I met John irl I would kiss him and hug him really hard but that’s just because we’re really good friends like our really good frieNDSHIP is the reason why

i just need acknowledgement of their romantic relationship where it cant be denied. i dont need a kiss, all i need is kanaya asking how long karkat’s been dating dave and karkat being like a few months. thats what i need, i cant have these gay kids go under the radar, please

but i mean, in the ideal world, we’d get to see karkat talk about dave. both of them pining over each other. it doesnt have to be sad i just need to hear them talk about their feelings and maybe not to each other but to discuss why they like each other so much. dave getting gushy about karkat and john is like dude. 

let them kiss. let them kiss and let john maybe, finally understand and talk to dave about his issues and let dave be happy and accepted and karkat be happy and accepted like the gay kids they are