Horoscopes by Gil Hizon - July 25 - August 1, 2016
Um, that yappy, inconsiderate four-legged furry bitch is not a service animal. #Starbucksasshole
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
I think you’re being unfair to certain queens who are trying to make do with the situation you inadvertently put them in. Obviously, your friends care a lot about chu and will do everything they can to stretch any ethical boundaries to appease your needs. What you absolutely can’t do, however, is paint these bitches in the corner with your impossible demands. Be more fucking reasonable.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
I am so impressed by your adaptability realness these days. If this situation happened a year ago, you would feel fucking paralyzed and helpless. But this is a new age, my dahling. You’ve been put through the ringer this past year and it has caused you to really exercise that flexibility outside of the bedroom. I urge you to keep stretching. Something big is on its way. You’re gonna have to open real wide with this one, gurl.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Okay, bitch. I get that a lot is happening. I surmise that there’s a lot of shit to get done. But you’re not doing yourself any favors by acting like an electrocuted muppet on Vicodin. Take a deep fucking breath and really assess the situation. By doing this, you’ll find that the predicament you’re in is not a free-for-all attempt to destroy you. You’ll find that there’s a simpler way to solve all of it.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
There will be other bitches trying to penetrate your force field and I predict that you’ll look at their ugly ass faces and laugh your fucking tits off. That’s right, bitch. You’re the shit, and this week, more than evah! You have the power to make other queens fight themselves to death – Hunger Games style – for the chance to kneel in your presence. I suggest you take advantage of the situation. Limited time only, gurl!
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
I get it, bitch. In the thick of summer, you can’t help but feel restless. This restlessness is causing you to see things that are not there. This includes romance. Somehow, your recent encounter with a past ho is igniting all these nostalgia and feelings bullshit that you’re better off not having. Can’t you just enjoy each and every fucking moment rather than forcing what’s probably not there?
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
What the stars have for you this week is so sleep inducing that I am forced to take matters in my own hands and reinvent you as this mythical creature who has a lot of shit going for herses. As such, I bestow upon you the personality of Chartreuse Ambrose. She’s a grown ass bitch who makes others eat it. More importantly, she’s someone I feel comfortable snorting coke with like it’s 2003. So it is done.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Um, yes, I’m standing outside your house of cray-cray and I’ve been knocking on your door. I know you’re in there so I suggest you open up. I’m not the only one who’s had this problem when trying to reach yo ass. Consider the rest of us concerned fucking citizens. I suggest you make more of an effort in explaining what’s in your house of crazy so as not to worry us into thinking you’ve lost it. That’s all.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
No matter how much the stars portray you as this open, welcoming fish, there is a part of you which remains closed off to a lot of bitches. It’s such a shame, really, because when others see you clamp up, they shut their pie holes as well, and where’s the good in two bitches who can’t open up to each other? You really should dig deep this week and figurr out why you are doubting your ability to open your heart.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
You are a lot stronger and more resilient than you think, gurl. What’s more impressive is that, these past few trying weeks, your constituents have seen your strength; and in turn, they have been inspired to fucking rally behind yo ass. This is the time to really rely on these hos to get you to the next level of self-awareness. Use them bitches and use them well.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
So here’s the cause for your emotional constipation. You’re too busy entertaining both the positive and negative possibilities with a certain situation. Conflicting internal bullshit just isn’t you, gurl. You are more used to simpler pastures brought to you by Foster Farms. I suggest you focus on the pros rather than the cons. It’s that fucking simple.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 21)
Here you go again: letting your doubts and fears plague your ability to fucking go out there and make others eat it. You have the opportunity to take advantage of your network this week; why squander it because you’re feeling unworthy? I mean, where is all this negative shit even coming from? Self-sabotaging is not your gig, gurl. I suggest you get over this skepticism bullshit.
CANCER (June 22 – July 22)
I think you’re being unfair by not giving a chance to a few newbies who wanna be part of your life. You are known for being loyal to the past, so much so that you tend not to give any consideration to new experiences these fresh bitches can provide. You must trust that the people you’re loyal to will always be there, no matter what other hos may come your way.
(DISCLAIMER for all entries: This is all a shit show!)
Well I did come across a post saying that ir is unjustified and that IH Chances of happening is low.but I always thought that with the latest chapters how can u say that I'm confused sorry if to long.
personally since I’m not a fan for this ship I wouldn’t care about whether it is or not reasonable for them to be together.
Everyone has their own tastes, so don’t judge or disrespect.
In my opinion Rukia is Ichigo’s mentor and in a odd way a friend that you are unwillingly attached to but grow fond of.
That’s just my opinion about their platonic relationship, one of many bonds that correspond and help Ichigo in many aspects of his life.
Ih chances of happening is low…?
Sorry, but some people are so fixated on their ship becoming canon they will dismiss the chances of anything that comes into their range of threat.
This includes the moments that some antis will exclude from the manga because it doesn’t circulate well with their expectations or illusions.
By latest chapters I think you are referring to these below, with some antis comments toward them?
“Ichigo only sees Orihime as a sister, there is no way he could regard her as anything but a friend. It’s not like he would blush for her.”
“T-That is just so pathetic, poor Orihime she is soo slut shamed. The only reason because Ichigo is blushing is because he is embarrassed.”
yep, pretty much antis responses toward the scene where for some reason we have Ichigo blushing like a total dork toward Orihime’s new outfit.
But I bet if it was their otp, they would be ecstatic at the fact that Ichigo blushed toward a girl that has a love interest in him…
“Ugh, ichihimes can’t see that it’s just Ichigo being a good friend. Not to mention it is an ishm moment, because Orihime is missing Ishida her babe.”
honestly Orihime is the most emotional from the group of the karakura team, you can’t have strong guys like Ichigo and Chad speaking out loud about how they are so worried or happy about their sweetheart Ishida.
Not to mention that she knew Ishida before any of them, and has a stronger bond than Ichigo- lol but they are more ;p -or Chad.
It’s perfectly fine if you consider this either ships moment.
But don’t exclude the fact that just how Orihime is worried/thankful over finding out her friend is not an enemy…
Also consider the fact that Ichigo, the punk, glanced back in his own worry toward Orihime while they are freaking running, and asked what was wrong.
“Orihime getting in the way again. This is such a small thing, not even considered an Ih moment, all he is doing is saving a useless friend.”
um, take into consideration that Orihime has a shield that she can use to protect herself and has in earlier chapters to protect her friends.
There was no need to show Ichigo grabbing her out of the way, especially with that gentle looking arm around her shoulder. If anything he could have told her there was danger behind them, but instead he opted to do the saving.
And only save her.
Like whoops sorry Chad, but you can defend yourself unlike Orihime who has a freaking shield that could have protected all of them.
If it was me in that similar situation I would have probably saved my friend, but not hold her in that position or manner.
Like damn get over here gurl, ugh sorry for pulling you so harshly.
But Ichigo wasn’t having that for Orihime. He had to put his arm around her shoulder and then pull her to his side, and cradle her head against his chest with a gentle hand.
I see you, Ichigo. (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Sorry, if my post was too long. But I hope that answers your ask.