get offa me

I wonder how The Cat Guy from the first Twilight movie is doing. Where Is He Now? A room full of people thinkin’ about sex & money and that dude was just heart eye emoji-ing at the thought of his cat. FUCK Edward & Bella. I wanna read a trilogy based on this soft boy.


“ So, you’ve been tellin’ everybody I’ve been sleepin’ with ya, huh? Well that explains it! That’s why these people treat me like some dime-store floozy. They think I’m screwin’ the boss! Oooh, and you just love it, don’t you? It gives you some sort of cheap thrill like knockin’ over pencils and pickin’ up papers! Get your scummy hands offa me! Look I’ve been straight with you since the first day I got here, and I’ve put up with all of your pinchin’ and starin’ and chasin’ me around the desk because I need this job. But this is the last straw! Look, I’ve got a gun out there in my purse. Up until now I’ve been forgivin’ and forgettin’ because of the way I was brought up, but I’ll tell you one thing. If you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I’m gonna get that gun of mine, and I’m gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot! And don’t think I can’t do it.

Michael Shannon auditions for the role of Doralee in “9 to 5″ (x

Moral: Hugging Strangers Is Not Always Necessary

Me (DM): On your way to the town, a big muscle-y man on a horse with a big cart comes riding your way. He has a big scar from his right cheek down to his throat, and he doesn’t look that friendly at all.

Druid: I say hi-

Paladin: I give him a big hug!

Me: *chokes on laughter* Wha, really Vreski? (Using her In-Character name)

Druid: Why?!

Paladin: He looks like he needs it!

Me: *shakes head* Okay, fine… Roll for Charisma I guess?

*rolls a 2*

Me: He shoves you off and growls, “Get offa me girly! Can’t a merchant ride on a trail without bein’ glomped by a tiny lady paladin?!”

Paladin: It sounds like it’s happened before!

Druid: I ask him what he has for sale-


Druid: *while laughing* No! Stop hugging people!

*rolls another 2*

Me: He shoves you off again, even more roughly than last time with a warning growl. “You gonna buy somethin’ or should I just leave?!”

Druid: I hold HER back *points at Vreski’s player* and ask him what he has for sale!

Me: The only thing he has for sale is a shoddy, sloppily-made tiny wooden shield. “I made this shield mahself, and for you two I’ll give ya a special price!”

Paladin: See?!

Me: “Ten gold pieces more! That’ll be a total ah thirty gold pieces!”

Druid: *laughs for a while before shaking her head* We don’t have that much, sorry!

Later in the story they ended up having to team up with the man to kill a king so they could rid a town of mind-controlling bread. Talk about awkward.

anonymous asked:

(kamen-rider-con-soul; Digimon AU) "Get offa me, you chick!" Junky yells at a TorikaraBallmon that has attached to his leg.

“Calm down, its just a baby digimon” Megumi says.


Gif source:  (Unknown)

Imagine you’re a super-soldier like Steve, so you and him like to have intense sparring sessions that wind down to be playful wrestling.

——— Request for anon ———

“Get offa’ me, Rogers,” you grunt, struggling in his grasp as he straddles you on the mat, hands pinning your palms into the cushion. He grins at you, cocking a brow as he realizes you’re still not using your whole strength on him.

“Why don’t you make me?” Steve keeps you pressed into the mat when you scoff and roll your eyes, before encouraging you once more, “I know you can do it, or maybe you’ve lost your touch-?” His question is cut off when you twist your legs around his, rolling the two of you over enough to be on top and pushing with your knees in order to get him to let go.

Before you know it, you’re the one straddling him, “What was that about losing my touch?”

“Nevermind,” Steve pants a bit, eyes glinting in amusement as he looks up at you, “you’ve still got it.”