get lost in the experience

It’s around that time of year when kids start getting letters of being waitlisted, rejection and deferment. Just wanted to say hang in there– not everyone’s collegiate path is a strict linear progression. Taking gap years, transferring, going to your ‘B’or ‘C’ school, etc– they’re all completely valid ways to self-discovery and getting to where you want to be. From my own experience, things have a way of working out in the weirdest ways. Just keep your head up & mind open and don’t give up. 

7 Things INFPs Should Stop Doing if They Want to be Successful

A lot of things determine how successful you’ll be: the career you choose to pursue; the company you keep; the things you love doing; whether you possess a burning desire to prove other people wrong. There’s no one-size-fits-all prescription. This is good, because we all define success in different ways.

For idealistic INFPs, success often means having the freedom to live a moral, beautiful, and virtuous life. Success in the conventional sense (power, prestige, money) doesn’t matter as much as pursuing your passions, expressing yourself creatively, and growing without restraint.

Unfortunately for INFPs, these idealist qualities can be difficult to manage in the real world. The career fields you are naturally suited for (the arts, counseling, education) aren’t always respected, and others may not understand the “higher goals” you seek to achieve. In work and in life, you are acutely aware that others are judging you against standards that clash with your value system, which cheapens the experience for you. Even if you are objectively successful, you might not feel it because success, for an INFP, feels like an all-or-nothing event. You are notoriously hard on yourself for not always living up to the standards you promote.

So how can INFPs feel successful and satisfied with their careers and lives? The answer lies in doing less, not more. Here are seven recommendations which could help you lead an authentically successful life, whatever your goals.

1: Stop living according to the expectations of other people

If you want to shape and live your own successful life, you will always end up disappointing someone. Parents, partners, bosses, colleagues, friends - at some point, they will all tell you to knuckle down, get a secure job, go for the promotion, or go for some other outcome that doesn’t feel right to you. Trying to meet other people’s expectations is a sure-fire way to get drained, disconnected, and lost in the crowd. INFPs experience success by focusing on their own ideals, not by becoming something they’re not.

It’s horrible to disappoint others, especially if you are wary of conflict. But remember, it is simply not in your nature to conform. You will always be much happier being true to yourself. Dare to stop living according to other people’s expectations and start living it your way instead.

2: Stop going wide (go deep)

Being successful in life has a lot to do with clarifying what really matters to you and giving those priorities the time they deserve. You have to focus, otherwise there’s a risk you will get distracted by multiple endeavors. INFPs in particular have a tendency towards the dilettante, always trying new things and getting restless easily.

While it’s great to leave the door open to new possibilities, it’s equally important to narrow the focus onto the one or two areas that you really care about. Successful people don’t experience specializing as a restriction, but as a permission to go into the depths of a goal. Whether you have a business idea, an interesting hobby, or a potential relationship that you’d like to nurture, if you are completely dedicated to it, you stand a better chance of being successful than if your attention is scattered over several playing fields.

3: Stop waiting for the perfect moment

Waiting around for the perfect timing to go after your goals is counterproductive and hostile to your success. That’s because holding out for a stars-aligning “perfect moment” is a type of procrastination; it’s a stall. As Neil Gaiman once said, “If you only write when you’re inspired you may be a fairly decent poet, but you’ll never be a novelist because you’re going to have to make your word count today and those words aren’t going to wait for you whether you’re inspired or not.” That piece of advice applies to anything. A bad job won’t get better just because you wait around for a new boss to take over. A bad relationship won’t turn into a great relationship just because you tolerate your partner’s inadequacies, giving the relationship more effort than it possibly deserves.

Procrastination is an untamed beast that rages wildly in INFPs, but the fact is, you’re going to have to work for your success. Why wait to start that journey? For tips and insights on dealing with procrastination, check out the Ted Talk from master procrastinator Tim Urban.

4: Stop believing in miracles

Believing in fate or miracles is really the desire to sweeten one of life’s bitterest lessons: that if we want something to happen, we’re going to wake up every day with purpose and make it happen. Success overnight is a myth. It involves a lot of hard work and effort.

Rare talent and extreme giftedness does not spare you from this unpalatable truth. Even Mozart went through years of rigorous, tedious practice before he became a master musician. If you want to be successful, you’re going to have to take the game of success seriously. You’ll have to go all-in at 100 percent.

5: Stop trying to control so much

Some things in your life you can control. Most of it, you can’t. That’s a difficult message for an idealist INFP to handle, since you feel compelled to make the world a better place. There’s a tendency to believe that you raise other people to your own high standards or control certain situations that simply cannot be influenced. And the frustrating thing is, you feel safe when you are in control and utterly exhausted when you are not. That sets you up for disappointment, because control does not really exist, except perhaps in the mind.

If, like many INFPs, you have a tendency to behave like a backseat driver, you probably need to work on balancing your high ideals with the realities of everyday life. You can certainly control your own independent destiny, but you can’t control people or the minutiae of situations for your own sense of safety and worth. Without resolving this conflict, you will never feel happy or successful, and you may become paralyzed and confused about what to do with your life.

6: Stop giving all your time to people who will not take you further

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. No matter how much you try to live life your own way, sooner or later, the people with whom you spend most of the time contribute to what you become.

For idealistic and value-driven INFPs, this presents a major problem. You tend to choose your friends carefully, looking for people whose values are very similar to your own. Like-minded people can certainly offer wise counsel and make you feel safe, but can you learn from people who share your views, opinions, and values? Will these people challenge your decisions or push you out of your comfort zone?

What you really need, is a connection with people with different perspectives whose ideas rub up against your own. These people can pressure-test your choices and nudge you off the path of least resistance towards a place where you where you can learn, grow and make a bigger difference.

7: Stop mistrusting your instinct

As an INFP, you instinctively know when something you’re doing feels wrong. You may not know why something is off in your life, but you definitely know that it is. This level of self-awareness is the reason why you learn so quickly, and why you are so open-minded and flexible in all aspects of your life. It’s also the reason why you feel so out of place when ploughing a path that wasn’t made for you.

The only thing that separates a successful INFP from a less-successful INFP, is that the first person figured out when she was flogging a dead horse and trusted her gut instincts enough to try something else - even if the change seemed unfamiliar and crazy. When INFPs take action, they know immediately if their instinct was right. Your intuition is a strength that can often lead to better consequences, so give it the respect it deserves.

Final Thoughts

If your life isn’t as successful as you’d like it to be right now, there’s always an alternative. You can always choose to do something else. For INFPs, that usually means living in congruence with your values. Of all the types, you have the strongest need to act authentically and will never be happy unless you are true to yourself.

Of course, there’s always the possibility that your options are discouraging - at certain points, we all face moving from one set of problems to a different set of problems, none of which are particularly exhilarating. But the fact remains, you have a choice. If you stop believing that you have a choice, you automatically become a victim and feel helpless. INFPs in particular have to be careful that their idealism does not turn against them. If it does, you will never achieve goals or make changes for fear that you will never find the “perfect” career, lifestyle, creative endeavor, or person.

Ultimately, success for INFPs depends on you finding ways to honor your deeply held values while managing the constraints of everyday life. Accepting that life is full of shortcomings and compromises is difficult when you hold such lofty ideals, but it will help you to feel more effective and fulfilled. You have plenty of success qualities - self-awareness, intuition, empathy, adaptability, curiosity, open-mindedness - how you choose to apply them, is up to you.

“I was out in the woods one time, and I got caught in a storm. I was lost and didn’t know how to get back. I was wet. At first I was really worried, but then something changed. I was so wet that I couldn’t get wetter. The rain washed over me, and I thought, ‘This is really wonderful. I like being lost.’ The experience stopped being scary and started being an adventure. There was a bit of adrenalin and a bit of “Oh, let’s see what’s going on here.’ Everything was new at that point. I was hooked on being lost.

Now I’m always chasing the idea of being lost. I like to go to new places where I don’t know where I am, going one way and trying to find my way back, not knowing how or when I’ll get there. The sensation of being lost is not something you experience every day so it’s really interesting when you do—if it’s not too scary.”

Cambridge, MA

Eternal // Dylan O’Brien

Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Dylan x reader
Word count: 2,899
Warnings: fluff
Request from @morganschiebel 

A/N: I feel like this is longer than it should have been but I wanted to add more stuff in addition to your request. Hope you don’t mind. Enjoy!

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Cassian still wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or not. Still wasn’t sure if he’d woken up in Nesta Archeron’s bed after she’d kissed him on the roof. He’d been awake for a half hour, and he hadn’t dared move for fear that he’d break whatever illusion this might be.

But it wasn’t an illusion, and it wasn’t a dream. It was real. And he knew it was real because he was going to piss himself, and no one pissed themselves in their dreams—well, children, but he was not a child.

He thought about getting up to relieve himself. Thought about how close the bathroom was, how he could leave the door open, and she’d be able to see and hear him if she woke up.

But Cassian did not want Nesta to wake up in an empty bed. Not again. Not ever again. Sure they’d talked about it, she’d said what she’d needed to say, but that wasn’t a wound that would close overnight. There was no trust between them. He needed to earn her trust.

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anonymous asked:

Lol have fun studying medicine for 6 years and having absolutely no social life or life experiences

ummm yeahhh ok… 

so yeah I will have fun because studying medicine is - surprisingly - what I want to do, and usually when you are interested and passionate about something you have fun doing it? 

another revelation… you can have a social life and study medicine
*dun dun dun*
I know it’s hard to comprehend, but there are actually some medical students out there with… friends (omg who knew it?!) and they do things together like go to dinner or out to clubs just like normal people *gasps* (medical students, normal people?? nooooo)

and yeah you compeltely lost me on that last point about not getting life experiences?! the experiences you get as a doctor are - in my opinion - some of the most exciting and worthwhile experiences you could ever get. having the opportunity to go on an elective anywhere in the world during med school, being responsible for someone’s life, literally saving lives, meeting and interacting with a massive range of types of people - god you’re right, those things don’t sound like life experiences I would want to have…

Originally posted by usedpimpa

The Good

*The Good* The Bad The Dirty

Genre: Fluff / Angst / Trigger Warning ( It gets more angtsy as the chapters progress )

Pairing: You x Yoongi

Synopsis: A King would never hurt his queen unless a reason is present. Prior to that, until death do they part.

Yandere!Yoongi AU

Word Count: 1833

Note: So basically I, Admin kai, was listening to these songs, and suddenly had the urge to make a scenario with that name and title. and all I knew was that I wanted it to be an angst. And Admin Kat wanted to make a Yandere AU. So why not…

Originally posted by stuffskpopsiatcs

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anonymous asked:

i really agree with the last anon??,, like i used to be so up to date on everything they did, i was so obssessive and now that i've been a fan for a while it's definitely died down a lot lmao. it's nice and calming to just appreciate the music, which is why most of us stanned in the first place and just bc you aren't a hardcore stan anymore, doesn't mean you love them any less!

Anonymous said: i think i know how u feel but whenever bts have comebacks my passion for them reignites!!! ofc that ‘magical spark’ has simmered a little but what remains is comfortable adoration i think… i’m not good with words so i don’t know how to describe it but what ur feeling is normal!!!! i still love them so so so much but i feel more 'yes. bts. i love them.’ i really don’t know how to put it properly into words but yeaH lmaO

Anonymous said: tbh I also have questioned my passion for bts lately also. idk if its just temporary or just life being rough right now… but it seems like bts has me all hyped for their comeback again.

It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s like you still love them but just something is missing and I can’t really explain it either. But then I also feel like it’s just a rollercoaster of feels where one day I won’t feel much for them but then the next day I’m super excited. idk !! /:

I mean… Maria Robotnik was a gentle sweet person who believed powerfully in humanity and also seemed kind of introverted but, let’s be honest, she was the adored, cherub-faced terminally ill granddaughter of the head researcher. And she’s a Robotnik, which means, y’know, she is probably an incredible super genius trapped on a station full 99% of people much older than her and respected scientists, and one sorta jumpy kid she gets along with mostly, and her only other friend is the engineered superweapon her grandpa made.

There is a lot of area to be lonely and bored there, especially with the whole illness hanging over her head- it’s not a setup of people who are likely to respect her as someone who seems athletic and energetic and who wants to try new things, explore, experience.

And the ARK is a massive, sprawling, at its lowest levels pretty lovecraftian, structure.

My takeaway is: I think Maria got into a lot of trouble, and she’s so cute and Gerald would’ve given her the sun in the sky if he could, so she got away with a lot. Probably, Shadow wasn’t even supposed to be that far out of observation and tearing around with her unattended considering other experiments like the Biolizard seem to have been handled much more impersonally- but Maria Gets What Maria Wants.

That’s really how I imagine Maria as a character, not quite this idealized soft ‘Lost Lenore’ but Shadow’s whipcrack-smart, sweetheart but calculating, big-sister figure who knows she can screw up her face and look sad and promise she didn’t mean to get lost in the restricted experiments wing and as soon as the adults are out of the room settles into a sulk and goes “okay, so, new plan: next time, less fire alarms.”

I guess Maria feels… really under-explored as a character. Even compared to other dead characters like Tikal, or Elise’s father, she almost feels ephemeral, this idealized portrait of a person more than someone who was really alive. Shadow and Gerald both adored her, but at times she’s treated as sort of an icon in their stories more than she is her own person. (though, Gerald himself, after his brief stint as a terrifying postmortem antagonist, also becomes that kind of benevolent idealized ghost)

And I’m really intrigued by stories that have her survive, but, at least from what I’ve seen, there’s been a lot of them that… seem to act like she’d be largely unaffected, or remain that soft presence from Shadow’s memories, when, as I just got done saying, I don’t even know if that was the real her.

Because she was so much more than a sad-eyed girl in a blue dress, and I feel like there’s a whole story there that was not really told. 06 really kind of closed the book on Shadow’s personal arc but it seems unfortunately like ARK and a lot of its mysteries were also buried with that- when there feels like a lot more than just Shadow himself going on there.

a positive spin on "negative" things

• waking up early by mistake, but then being able to watch the world change from black silence to baby blue bustling

• finishing a book you love, but then realizing that a whole new world and a brand new life is just a new, unfamiliar title page away

• being woken up by a storm in the middle of the night, but then falling back asleep to the gentle rumbles and the pitter-patter of gentle rain drops outside your window

• getting lost while driving, but then getting to experience an amazing adventure, while also discovering more about the city you’re in

• being rejected by someone (whether romantically or career-wise), but then realizing that if it was meant to be, it would have happened, and the Universe has infinite surprises in store for you that better suit what you deserve

• getting called on in class, but then realizing that the teacher/professor values your thoughts and opinions, and thinks you worthy of utilizing your right of speech

• having jet lag from travelling far away, but then experiencing one of the most amazing adventures of your life

• getting called out for a mistake, but then realizing that this will make you learn, will prevent you from doing it in the future, and will make you grow as a person

• getting home exhausted from a day of work, but then realizing that you are helping at least one person in someway, and that you are contributing to the production and evolution of the world

• stepping into your tub and realizing you’ve poured it too hot, but then taking joy in watching your skin flush, and feeling a deeper clean than if the water had only been lukewarm


reblog with your own additions!!

contributors:
@rovangogh
@velvet-thhhunder

My favorite experiences at pride

-getting lost while looking for our float
-petting all the dogs we saw
-gay Jesus riding a skateboard
-gay Jesus coming in with a gay flag and annoying the protesters
-someone telling me they loved my flag
-“happy pride”
-random people asking me about my flag and where I got it
-sorting all the beads
-the trans march
- a sign that read “exclude terfs”
-finding my float
-walking in the parade
-seeing all the tiny children
-someone had a cat with them
-some 30 old black woman asked for me when walking in parade and I talked to her for a bit and she held my hand and told me I was amazing and happy pride sweetheart and gave me a gay flag
-handing people sunglasses and then saying ‘yass mommy’
-handing out sunglasses and a fellow ace saying 'yes fellow ace brethren loving seeing you all’
-some girl yelling at me saying I was pretty
-the fireworks
-running a booth
-making friends
-talking to random strangers
-the kindness in the lgbtq which everyone seems to forget
-having heat exhaustion and not having any water so a guy and his boyfriend have me 10$ even though I told them not to worry about it
-just the overall happiness it gives me

[ bookshelf ]

pairing; seventeen wonwoo x reader

genre; fluff, reader wonwoo

synopsis; standing at a not-so-tall height, it was never easy for you to reach the books on the the highest shelf. unlike what happens in most dramas and fantasies, you didn’t receive help from any charming, cute guy — you nearly killed one instead. with a falling book.

word count; 939 words


I clutched my books close to my chest, as if they were invaluable diamonds that one would try to snatch away from me. I briskly made my way to the campus library, dropping off the three books I had borrowed a few weeks back. Pushing the glass door to the library open, I stepped in, immediately feeling warmed by the heaters placed by the walls of the library.

I glanced around, briefly scanning the area. I was glad it wasn’t overly crowded today. The library was rarely crowded, actually. Not many people appreciate books as much as I actually do. Everyone somehow stereotypes the fact that people who read a lot are nerds. 

That’s not true in any way. I loved reading, but hated studying. 

I walked over to my usual shelf which was labelled ‘Fantasy and Romance’. My favourite genres. The writers who write on this genre are always so descriptive in their writing, it makes me get so lost in the book, I actually experience its series of events with my five senses. 

That makes me beyond happy and relaxed because it’s like living in a dream. I mean, what’s the possibility of one being able to live in a far away mansion, with the love of her life being a perfect man who loves her unconditionally? What’s the possibility of one being able to live with super powers like telekinesis? Zero. At least for me.

I brushed my fingers through the books on the middle shelf, my eyes briefly reading the titles of the books on their sides. None captured my attention, so I looked up at the shelf above that. Nothing too.

My eyes flew across the titles of the books on the uppermost shelf, and the one named ‘Heavenly Fire’ caught my eyes. It was a fairly thick book, one of the books from the Mortal Instruments series. I’d finished the first few books of the series, but never got to the end of the series.

I extended my hand, and my fingers barely brushed past the bottom tip of the book. I rolled my eyes. Not again. 

I went on my highest tiptoe, and felt the balls of my feet hurt. I attempted to grab at least the corner of the book to pull it out, but the other books right by its side prevented me from getting a good grip.

I sighed, sneakily looking around, then resorted to jumping. I really wanted to get that book down.

I jumped once, and my hand slipped from the corners. I jumped again, and the book still didn’t budge although I was sure I had tugged it a little.

The third time I jumped, I somehow accidentally pushed the book further into the shelf. It wasn’t just further in. It pushed the other book on the other side of the shelf, and I heard tumbling and a “Woah, woah!”

I widened my eyes, cursing my clumsiness under my breath and I quickly ran out from behind the shelf, going to the other side where a couple of books had fallen, along with the one pushed. 

A boy was right in front of the shelf, exactly symmetrical to the previous position I was at. He was holding a book in one hand, and rubbing his head with another, distancing himself from the shelf.

I gasped, hesitantly walking over to him. He was still looking down, so he hadn’t seen me yet.

“I-I’m so sorry,” I said, my hands placed awkwardly together in front of my mouth. He looked up at me then, and I recognised him. I didn’t know him personally, but I saw him often around the library. We never talked. We were as good as strangers.

“The book on the other side fell— I mean, I was trying to get a book from up there on the other side and I hit it and it just, kaboom—” I blurted, not knowing what to do. “I’m so sorry.”

He smiled a little, chuckling so quietly I wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t see his shoulders lift a little. “It’s alright.”

He bent down, picking the fallen books up. I bent down too, quickly collecting the books and piling them in my hands. There were a total of four of them, and he had five in his hands. He put the books back onto the upper shelf, and I tried. But once again, my shortness wouldn’t let me.

He chuckled again, much louder and audible this time, before taking the books from my hands and putting them up with ease. My height was just a bit over his shoulder, so he was definitely much taller than me.

He held onto the book ‘Heavenly Fire’, somehow knowing that that was the book I was trying to get. He passed it to me, and I took it gratefully.

“Thank you so much, um…” I paused, frowning. I didn’t know his name.

“Wonwoo,” he told me, the soft, subtle smile lingering on his lips. “Jeon Wonwoo.” He stuck out his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Wonwoo,” I said, shaking his hand. “I’m Y/N. Sorry we had to meet this way…”

He shook his head. “It’s alright. Makes everything more fun, doesn’t it?”

I smiled at his optimism and friendliness. “I guess. I nearly killed you, though.”

He laughed. “I can’t be killed by books.”

“Right.” I nodded, laughing.

He checked his watch, and bit his lips. “I’m gonna be late for class. Whoops.”

“Oh, right. Go ahead,” I said, moving aside to allow him to leave. 

“I’ll see you around, Y/N,” he said, giving me a casual wink before jogging out of the library. 

I squealed as quietly as I could. Wonwoo was so horribly cute and kind — just like fantasies in books. Except this time, it was real.


✧ a/n:

progressing on seventeen scenarios to fill up their masterlist !! :) also, i still have unanswered asks in my inbox, i’m so sorry for the long wait! :( i’ll get to them real soon, hopefully by this weekend! && happy birthday to mingyu 💗 i wrote a dedi to him on my ig already soo :-) i have two tests tomorrow and i ditched revision for this HAHA i’m going to do midnight studying now. have a good night / day everyone! xx

Tips for Learning Languages

For anonymous (this is my last post for your message - I promise - I bet you didn’t expect to get this much of a response). 

Again, under the keep reading - just scroll past if you don’t want to read it. I write a lot, I talk a lot. You only wish you were one of my roommates so you can hear me talk all the time out loud: to them, to myself, to the walls. 

I still remember years ago a little boy that told me I would have a boyfriend if I just didn’t talk so much (dear little boy: I am still single. I am proud and happy to be single. Do not force upon me your socialized concept that people can only be happy in relationships.)

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I went to Crush SoCal on Saturday, it was my first rave & I had never felt more alive. Getting lost & letting the music just take control of me, it truly was an experience

Nursing is tough, for even the toughest of nurses. You can love what you do, but still question, “what’s it all for?” You may be grateful for employment, and thankful for great coworkers, but still find yourself searching for where you truly belong. You may adore patient care, or administration, but perhaps frustrated with the limits of your job. You may have had great plans for your career, but find yourself just getting through the days, like some sort of marathon. You may enjoy precepting new nurses, but perhaps wishing you had more to offer, and ponder if they’re truly getting the best experience when sometimes you feel as lost as they do. It may be you wish you had a chance to begin all over again, with the wide eyed wonder of it all. Nursing is tough, maybe not only for the skills, but for the daily endurance and desire to be, and do more. At the very heart of nursing is a will and tenacity to carry on. On the darkest days you may feel you’ve lost your way, an uncertainty about what to do next. Perhaps the secret isn’t in what rests behind us, or what may lay ahead; but in the daily curiosity and fortitude of mind - some days it just doesn’t feel enough, and you strive….for more. Nursing may be tough, but on the darkest days we may encounter a solitary patient that reminds us of the original dream, and why we do what we do. These are the people, and moments we need to carry on.
—  Nurse X