get in small groups!

[Self-Care] Daryl Dixon x reader

READ: This is my first ever Daryl imagine, please feel free to request any twd one-shots @samwilsonlove

Summary: Just a run gone wrong. [Fluff] 

Warnings: None just zombies. 

Word count: 1800

[Female Reader]

Originally posted by prettymuchdixonalready

[Set before the negan era in Alexandra]

It was around midday, the sun beamed down on us as we swiftly weaved through the broken down cars and derelict buildings around us,  going past all sorts of walkers around us. A small group of us were checking out a grocery store that had been overrun. Desperate for food and supplies we figured out a plan to draw the walkers one way and find some way to get inside and gather as  much food as we could and get out as fast as we could.  

In our small group there was me, Daryl, Tara, Rosita and Glenn. The plan was me and Daryl would draw the walkers away and the rest would rush in and get the supplies I rode in the passenger seat of the car next to Glenn who was driving, while Tara and Rosita were in  the back and Daryl was on his motorcycle.

We arrived at the location and exited the vehicle, distant growls were heard from the walkers up ahead. I looked around at everyone and nodded, the plan was in action. The girls and Glenn went and hid someone where walkers couldn’t get them as we drew them away while I looked for a way to get the dead’s attention.

I looked at Daryl, waiting to see if her was ready. Once I saw he was ready I started banging against the fence, “Hey dead freaks, some fresh meat over here if you want it, yeah come and get it,” I shouted at the top of my lungs. ‘well shit’ I mumbled underneath my breath as they started coming towards me, there were probably around 50 of them.  I turned around  and looked at my companion, “ Well I think I’ve gotten their attention,”

Daryl rolled his eyes, “ Yeah well get moving before we become their lunch,” He grunted and walked to his bike and got on just as the hoard started to reach us I hopped on behind him holding onto the back of the bike for support. We lead them away  enough for the others to be safe and circled back round again.

I jumped off the bike, we were back outside the store but there were some walking surrounding it, “ Daryl something doesn’t look right, do you think they’re still inside?” I asked, worry dripping from my tone. My heart was beating fast, “ Maybe we didn’t get all of them, what if they’re-”

“They’re in there and they’re alive so shut it. We can try get in from the back, if there’s walkers insidee they’ll need are 'elp” He stated and ran round to the back. I nodded and followed with a brief sigh. The apocalypse is stressful.

We reached the back and found and entrance, eventually getting into the store, getting our hands dirty a few times. Inside the was some shouting and screaming along with growling, “Glenn?! Tara?!” I shouted out as I ran towards the sound. I ran frantically around the corner to be met face to face with a dead one. It lunged towards me and I froze, not being able to react quick enough, it was about to take a massive chunk out of my shoulder.

Before I could scream it’s body fell to the floor with a thump, a green arrow sticking out of it’s head. Out of breath i looked behind me, Daryl nodded to me in reassurance and we kept going. There was no time to thank him right now,  our friend  were in danger .

There was a crowd of the rotten creatures around them, Tara looked hurt and barely able to defend herself but there’s no way any of us would let her die. I immediately went in, pulling out my machete I made my way to them, Daryl covering me with his crossbow when the jerks got too close. I swung the blade into one’s head, blood spurting out as their brain was split in half and crushed, I pulled it out and quickly forced it into another’s head.  I shoved one away from me as i attempted to dislodge my weapon.      

“[Y/N]!” It was Rosita shouting my name , I turned to look in her direction and one of the freaks tumbled over and fell on top of  me. I kept it’s face away from my flesh, using all my strength to push it away but in that moment I felt so weak, as if that was my last moment. Someone was screaming my name but it was muffled, the sound of the walkers teeth chomping the air filled my ear till someone pulled it off me and I came back to my senses.

I practically gasped for air as I pushed myself of the floor and saw we had made it to the others. Relief washed over me but it wasn’t the time to celebrate, we still had to get out of this mess. Daryl threw me my machete, he was the one who saved me again. But before I could think of how to repay him I sliced the head off a walker. We needed to get out.

We worked at it, standing in a circle, the dead surrounding us. I was at the front, along with Glenn as we tried to clear the path to the door so we could get out. Bodies dropped around us every minute as we made progress. We were close. I slashed two walkers and bam there was a path. I screamed at everyone to follow. I saw Daryl at the back helping Tara walk  or limp    faster towards the door.

Daryl had Tara’s arm wrapped his neck to support her but he let go of her for a second to kill a few walkers who got in the way and that’s when Tara had tripped over herself and went down, screaming out. Daryl quickly snapped his neck backwards to look in her direction. I was going to got help them when Daryl shouted, “Go, I’ll get 'er!”

I was going to proteste but Rosita pulled me backwards  and quite frankly i was pissed that she wouldn’t let me go, “They need our help! We need to go get them!” I screamed, clearly frustrated. I was scared they would get hurt, that he would die. Of course I didn’t want Tara to die either , not to mention Daryl wasn’t going to let that happen, but Daryl was important to me.

“Look we just have to trust that they’ll get out alive , they’re strong but right now if we don’t get out and defend ourselves. If we die we won’t get to see them again, you want that?!” Glenn talked some sense into to me. I shook my head and focused on the way out. Once we were outside we cleared out some of the walkers and rushed back to the car, waiting for them to come out. I so badly wanted to go in there. 

I felt so on edge, waiting for them to come out. Pacing along the road and watching the exit. My heart almost dropped onto the ground and shattered when Tara hobbled out alone , I rushed to her to help her, “Where’s Daryl?” I asked thinking I would regret it when he came running out like a second later. I sure liked to jump to conclusions sometimes.

“We need to go, now!” He shouted as walkers trailed behind him, I helped Tara into the car and jumped in after. Then we drove off with Daryl following behind us. I leaned back in my seat and sighed.I looked at Tara in the seat next to me , we were in the back.

 "You okay?, what happened back there ?“ I asked worried.  She had a pained expression spread across her features. Blood soaked her left leg staining her jeans. I felt sorry for her, she obviously felt guilty,I could tell by the look on her face.

"Uh I’ll be fine when we get back. I tripped and tried to grab onto a shelf to regain my balance but it kinda wasn’t stable and it may have fallen on my leg and also knocked over 3 other shelves and it must’ve drew all the walkers inside and the stray ones outside and suddenly we were surrounded,” she sighed, obviously blaming herself.        

“Hey, don’t blame yourself, we’re all alive, no one’s badly hurt or bitten and you’re legs going to be fine. Not to mention you got a good amount of supplies to bring back to Alexandria, ” I reassured Tara and tried my best to make her feel better. She smiled and thanked me, I returned the smile and looked at Daryl riding next to us and silently sighed.

The journey seemed like it took longer than it already was so when we finally arrived i jumped out and stretched mt legs. Glenn parked the car and the rest of us helped  get the supplies out the car. The bags mainly contained food, something we really needed right now so we got lucky.Daryl carried the heaviest bag full of canned goods and walked along side me to the pantry.

I looked over at him and noticed some blood on the side of his head. I put the bag down and gave it to Olivia. Just as Daryl was about to walk out i grabbed his arm, he turned around and looked at me “You’re bleeding, did you hit your head somewhere?” I asked and wiped some blood dripping down the side of his head.

He stared at me and pulled away, “I’m fine, I hit my head wrestling wit a walker,” He said and walked out. I scoffed underneath my breath out of annoyance and ran after him. Did he really think I was going to just let him walk away? I thought he knew me better. I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the infirmary, earning a groan but he reluctantly followed.

I sat him down on one of the beds and cleaned the blood, “You look after others too much. You seem so heartless but really you want to save everyone, ” I sighed looking at his wound.

He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow at me, “Yea 'nd why is that such a bad thing?” he commented his face resting into a gentle expression.

I sighed and threw away the blood stained wipe, “Because you forget to look after yourself, ” I said and sat next to him. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer, I rested mt head on his chest.

“Hm, I thought you did that for me,” He put his head on top of mine. I chuckled and playfully  hit his chest.

“Yeah, well don’t get too used to it”

George Gordon “That’s Lord To You” Byron lived the sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle well before one of those things had even been invented. In a day when poetry was the public’s poison, Byron leveraged his prose (plus his rock star hair) to embark on a veritable world tour … only instead of cities, he visited a collection of orifices so vast that it couldn’t possibly fit on the back of a T-shirt. Along the way, he recorded his escapades in detail in his memoirs, which he later passed on to fellow poet Thomas Moore. He also left strict instructions for his publisher, John Murray, to only publish them after his death, presumably because he didn’t care to be present for the spontaneous combustion of Europe’s collective pants.

Having lived at the turn of the 19th century, Byron of course died terribly, and at the ripe old age of thirty-goddamn-six. He’d been leading resistance fighters in the Greek War of Independence against the Ottoman Empire at the time (“poet” used to be synonymous with “tough guy”), and it took a full month for his pickled remains to get back to England. As they did, a small group, including Moore, parliamentarian John Hobhouse, Murray, and Murray’s 16-year-old son (heir to the publishing business), gathered in Murray’s office to decide the fate of Byron’s memoirs. After a series of heated arguments and probably a slap fight or three, the group took the two bound manuscript volumes and, page by page, fed them to a fire.

4 Vital Pieces Of Pop Culture We Lost Forever

2

Okay so, me and Harostar were talking about this before the chapter came out.

Urie was not there when Shirazu and Mutsuki met Touka he’s probably not going to know who she is unless he speaks to Takeomi or Saiko who know Yoriko by sight.and Touka at least by photo. Meaning probably at least one of them will go with him to try and find out what Mutsuki was going after/possibly where Yoriko was taken.

If Urie finds out the connection Haise seemed to have with Touka, he probably will not want to get the CCG involved except maybe the small group that is doubting Furuta’s BS (AKA Kuramoto, The other Quinx minus Aura, Suzuya and possibly his squad.)

If he does this could be important for a number of reasons. For one it brings the group of people Mutsuki mentions as people he feels like Haise/Kaneki betrayed.

For another it can be the catalyst that makes a bunch of necessary reactions to happen.

  • Takeomi meeting the ghoul his Fiance was so close to.
  • Nakarai finally having that talk Kiyoko really wanted him to have with Shinsanpei…
  • The group of Furuta doubters possibly learning the truth and possibly coming to Kaneki’s side of things.
Gaeltacht 101

Going to the Gaeltacht for the first time can be SCARY. I remember when I found out the first year that I was going I genuinely cried because I was so afraid. However, six summer courses later (four as a student and two working as a ceannaire), and I still don’t know what terrified me so much. It’s a great opportunity and it’s essentially a holiday (if the weather holds up!).
Since it’s still so scary for many people, I’ve made a list of tips, supplies, and other useful bits for first-timers!

- Pack in advance. Make sure you bring sports clothes (even if you don’t like sports you’ll probably HAVE to do them), beach clothes, spare towels, more clothes, socks, and underwear than you think you’ll need. PRACTICAL SHOES. Holy god please don’t wear heels in the Gaeltacht (maybe bring a pair just for the last night). You’ll be picking yourself out of the muck for a week.

- Bring water. If you’re going to a coastal Gaeltacht (An Rinn especially), there’s a good chance that the drinking water will be manky AND that you won’t get enough of it. They do big packs of bottled water in Lidl for fairly reasonable. Some places mightn’t want you having water but h o n e s t l y. Just don’t have a water fight indoors like a gobshite.

- Have at least enough Irish to get by. If you can’t string a sentence together as Gaeilge you’re going to have a very rough time of it. Try to step it up in school in the months leading up to the summer. If your teacher is useless, try Duolingo to get your basics down.

- Buy/bring a backpack. Trust me, even those dinky ones from Penneys are lifesavers. Where else are you going to keep your suncream, water, camera, purse/wallet? In fact, get a small one so you don’t become the group suitcase.

- If you have a hurley BRING IT. 

- Don’t give the ceannairí/cúntóirí a hard time. It’s their job to make sure you’re trying to speak Irish and not acting the maggot too much. No, Páidí isn’t an arsehole for giving you detention, you’re the one screaming “WILL YOU MEET MY FRIEND” while standing on a bosca bruscar.  

- If you don’t want to go to mass, you might have to bring a letter from your parents. I know this is a tough one, especially if your mam or dad are religious/awkward. Some places will let you just stay back and do sports or whatever if you ask, but others have a hard rule about it.

- Wear your interests. This can be a risky one, but if you’re a little shy it can help to have a literal beacon to connect with other people who are also shy. In my time the emo kids always stuck together, and you could pick any one of us out by our clothes. Same with the bebo stunnahs, or any other group. I know it seems a bit silly, but it works. You won’t always get on with people who dress the same, but having something to talk about is a step to finding people you do get on with. Something as simple as a band shirt or even badges are enough, you don’t want to go too flashy in the Gaeltacht.

- Bring pocket money. When I say pocket money, I mean maybe €10-€20 in case ye go to the shop or have a shop on site. You really shouldn’t need more than that unless the coláiste tells you otherwise. 

- You might not be able to bring snacks with you. You might have to deposit them in a seomra soláistí/tuck room. You definitely shouldn’t keep them in your room/dorm. You definitely shouldn’t put them at the bottom of your suitcase or in an opaque bag because nobody can, without permission, search through your belongings to take them from you. You definitely also shouldn’t need to make sure there are no wrappers visible in bins or crumbs left around because you definitely won’t be eating in the dorms. You also definitely shouldn’t bribe a ceannaire with chocolate if they catch you with food. 

Recently, my boyfriend suspected that I was emotionally abused and manipulated as a child. I didn’t believe him at first and was frankly offended that he would suspect that of my parents however, when I started looking into examples of emotional abuse and manipulation I could relate to every. single. point. It really sucks to know that the people who were supposed to love and support me hurt me and screwed me up in such awful ways. It feels horrible but at least my childhood makes sense now.
—  Posted by Anonymous
Don't do drugs kids

I was working closing one day at my convience store. It was maybe 15 minutes to closing this day, meaning my register was the only register open. Occasionally you’ll get the handful of people who need to run in for a quick snack or some emergency cold medicine or whatever, and while I despise people that come into the store that late, those people normally don’t linger and want to leave as much as I want them to.

Except for these two guys that walked in this night, absolutely REEKING of weed and alcohol. I swear you could smell them as soon as they came through the door.

So while I’m helping the random scattered customers and cleaning up for closing, these guys grab a cart and walk as slowly as possible through the snack aisle, sometimes picking up an item to investigate it, sometimes just staring out into space. 10 mins to closing and they finally decide on a couple family sized bags of chips and dip. Then they move to look at the cans of soda. Again either investigating various items or simply staring into the Void™.

Just before one of my coworkers gives a five minute warning over the PA, I get another small group of customers that rush in for last minute things. The two strung-out bros finally push their cart of a couple chip bags and a couple 12pack sodas to my register. I give my usual “Do you have a rewards card with us?” all customer servicey while also trying not to vomit from the smell of weed (my body reacts HORRIBLY to weed) and the guys just… stand there. Staring at the card reader. They don’t pull their items out the cart either they’re just frozen. The small group of people are now starting to line up behind them and look as frustrated as I am with these two. I wave my hand at the guys and ask them if they needed help with something, and if they can actually put their items on my counter so I can scan them. That conversation went kinda like this:

Guy B: *slowly stacking items on counter*
Guy A:*very quietly* …Number…
Me: You have a number attached to your rewards card?
Guy A: *still quietly* …Want… number…
Me:*starting to drop my CS voice out of frustration* You want to attach your number to your rewards card?
Guy A:*i swear to god he got even quieter* …out… number… name…
Me:*handing Guy B their scanned and bagged items* Did you… want a new rewards card?
Guy B:*directed to me* HEY WHAT’S YOUR PHONE NUMBER MY FRIEND THINKS YOU’RE CUTE
Me:*now completely done with both of them* Are you paying with cash or card.

Guy A fishes his card out his pocket, pays, and they both quickly leave the store. It was five minutes after closing. Thank God the people left in line were nice and told me I shouldn’t have had to deal with that crap but that was maybe the second most frustrating transaction I’ve dealt with.

I have a presentation next class and I’m freaking out so here have a Lance doodle

The reason bap can’t seem to go anywhere despite having immense support online is because a majority of their fans are multifandom. Because of the fact that majority of their fans are international fans and the Int Fandom tend to be more multifandom. Like you can go to a bap related blog and 9/10 times it will be a multifandom blog. And the reason that is a bad thing is because these fans don’t have an infinite source of income. So when all of their faves are coming out one after another or worse at the same time; they have to pick an choose who they can support and invest their time in. The Fandom resources get divided into different groups and as a result creates very small revenue for the group. That’s all I wanted to say in case anyone is surprised if bap doesn’t win any awards again this time.

Honestly…okay. *ahem* I’m just gonna say it.

Adam Young/Owl City’s version of Waving Through a Window is…my new favorite version of the song. *cough*

I’ve been a Hoot Owl longer than I can remember. Owl City’s brought me through some pretty rough times in my life. I’ve had a blessed life, so my “rough” times are probably “mediocre” to others, but nevertheless, he was there. There isn’t a single song of his that hasn’t brought me joy and made me look at life a little differently. I’ve never really been able to express my love for him on my blog because he’s not done too much that relates to my blog interests. But this. This is the moment when that all changes.

He helped me get through rough times in my early high school years - that awkward kid with the braces and the super small friend group. His music was there to get me through it all. I danced to his songs in my bedroom, in the car, at school dances, when I graduated high school. But this, this is like the frosting on the cake. He’s covered one of the most revolutionary pieces of theatrical music in today’s culture…and all because one thing: He saw himself in Evan Hansen. Much like the rest of us, I believe.

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve marched to the beat of my own drum. […] I embrace being an outsider. I look at myself in the mirror and I feel nothing but confidence, optimism, assertiveness and happiness.” 

Honestly, his music allows me to feel that sense of ‘confidence, optimism, assertiveness, and happiness’ that I rarely feel when I listen to other music artists. And now having WTAW along with his signature musical style added to it…it’s like real life has collided with Adam’s whimsicality to create an entirely new reality. And that’s something I never knew I needed until right now.

So with that, Thank You, Evan Hansen Adam Young for sharing this with your Fansen Hoot Owls. This literally made my life.

❤︎✨

Third Wheels - Kaldur x Reader

Prompt: Can you please where Kaldur'ahm/Aqualad (YJ) is taking the reader (who is either a civilian or a superhero that the team isn’t familiar with) on a date and the team decides to stalk them during their date and somehow in the end, they get busted/caught?

“I’m having so much fun tonight, Kaldur.” You said as you walked hand in hand down the pier. “I wish tonight would never end.” You sighed and leaned your head on his arm. He glanced down and smiled at how peaceful you looked with him.

“Me too.” He said.

The two of you walked in comfortable silence for awhile, the only sound being the waves crashing against the shore. It was just you, him, and the occasional passerby but for the most part the two of you were alone. As you were starting to get tired you noticed that a small group of teens had been following you for some time.

“Hey Kaldur? I think someone is tailing us.” You whispered low enough so that your shadows wouldn’t hear. Kaldur casually glanced behind him and his hand slid to the hilt of his water bearer that was hidden on his hip. The pair following you caught the motion and stopped in their tracks.

“Shit Rob! Run!” An all too familiar voice yelled before sprinting in a suspiciously fast pace in the opposite direction.

“I told you this was a bad idea!” Robin called to Wally as he ran after him. When they disappeared off into the distance you turned to Kaldur with a perplexed look on your face.

“I can’t believed they followed us.” Kaldur said.

“I can.” You replied.

Dancing On My Own

A/N: I’ve been wanting to do a one shot to this song for awhile, but the idea I initially had probably would have angered a decent portion of the Rucas fandom.  Then Nat ( @reytonbleyer ) did a beautiful cover to this song, and another idea immediately hit me.  So, this little one shot is dedicated to her and to my birthday girl Augustė ( @hopefulforus ).  

The song is “Dancing On My Own” by Calum Scott (with a minor lyrical alteration that Nat also did in her cover).

Word Count: 5917

Rating: T

College AU:  Farkle never figured out that Riley was stepping back for Maya; therefore, Farkle never stepped in and made the NYE announcement.  

Angsty. (Are you surprised? haha)

Note: I turned this into a multi-chapter.  This is chapter 1.  The other chapters are below:

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | J | Q | K | A | J |


Riley Matthews hissed as her fingers brushed against the hot curling iron.  She quickly set the device down before she turned on her sink.  As she ran her throbbing fingers through the cold water, she groaned in pain.  “Good going, Riles,” she mumbled as she examined her tender fingers.

She looked up at the mirror as she examined her appearance.  She had about half of her hair left to curl and then she would be done.  She had spent the better part of her day picking out the perfect dress to wear that evening.  Part of her, a bigger part than she would ever admit, didn’t want to go, but she knew that there would be no way out of it.  Besides, it was one of her best friend’s birthdays.  She wasn’t going to miss that for the world, even if it meant another backslide, another night spent staring at something she knew she could never have.

‘Because you lied in 8th grade, and never attempted to tell the truth.’

‘You’re my brother, Lucas,’ she once told him.  Those four words had haunted the brunette for the last seven years—nearly a third of her life.  She thought that she was doing what was best for everyone.  She and Lucas had their chance at a relationship, and it resulted in them not even being able to communicate with one another.  She didn’t want that.  She never wanted that.  He was one of her best friends, and she could never imagine her world without him in it.

At the same time, ever since that 8th grade proclamation, her world with him in it was slowly destroying her.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

the band going to a pride parade?

2D: 2D would be a bit timid at first. He’s not used to crowds being so loving and friendly. After a few minutes of walking around and talking with people he would definitely get into it. He would go get his face painted, he would grab some flags and wave them around, he would dance with everyone he could touch. 2D would be having the time of his life. He loves all the support that comes with going to a pride parade.

Murdoc: Murdoc would get a new thong just for the occasion. He would be thrusting and dancing in every direction. He would have his face painted the colors of the bisexual flag. He would even sneak onto a float and start dancing with everyone. Murdoc would probably make out with everyone in reach.

Noodle: Noodle would be a bit more calm about the parade. She would dance around with everyone, she would be completely decked out in gay pride colors, and she would be making new friends left and right. Noodle would get on the floats and sing along with everyone. She would take pictures with people in the crowd and give out hugs.

Russel: Russel would be having a great time. He would get his face painted all sorts of colors, he would dance around in the crowd and dance with anyone close to him, he would love the music and even start a small rap group in the crowd. Russel would get some flashbacks from the old times but he wouldn’t let it get him down. He would smile and remember the good times and continue to have loads of fun with all the supportive people.

new headcanon:

clarke is watching the prisoner ship that landed, to see if anyone comes out. and madi is gathering herbs and while madi is out in the woods, she runs into a small group of people and she immediately gets defensive and uses the training she learned from clarke.

but a deep voice commands to his people, “drop your weapons.”

and they do. and he gently asks madi to reveal herself as he removes his helmet. madi does as he asks, realizing he’s a friend. clarke’s friend. bellamy.

madi steps out from behind a tree and says, “i know you. you’re bellamy.”

the others remove their helmets and madi sees she’s surrounded by friends, not enemies. “you’re monty. harper. raven. murphy. emori. echo.”

they all stare at her in utter shock. murphy speaking first, “no offense but who are you and how are you alive?”

“i’m madi. my nightblood kept me alive but clarke saved me.”

bellamy doesn’t move and madi isn’t even sure he’s still breathing. so she says to him, “she’s alive. i’ll take you to her.”

harper says, “if we aren’t back in three hours, they’ll send more people and they aren’t friendly.”

madi nods but waves them to follow her anyway. as she walks through the forest that has become her home, she explains. “clarke told me all about you guys. she’s drawn you over and over again.” glancing at a still quietly shocked bellamy, “she talked to you every day over the radio. or tried to.”

madi leads the group to the rover where clarke is just getting settled in with a sketch book on the hood. madi looks back at her friends, their faces a mix of shock and relief and love.

“clarke,” bellamy breathlessly says. clarke’s eyes widen as she slowly turns to face him. and the world stands still. no one dare move, not even when clarke smiles the biggest smile madi has ever seen and rushes into bellamy’s waiting arms.

this is it. the moment clarke has dreamed about. madi smiles at the sight. friends reunited. lovers reconnected. never to be torn apart again.

luckyladylily  asked:

I experience being reduced to my genitals a lot. Chasers, men who want to use me as a "half step", and women attracted people who wont even consider me. It hurts. Thank you for saying something on the subject. I feel like it has more weight coming from you. A lot of people think of us as predatory on an unconscious level (it is a very prevalent stereotype) so one of us saying something like that is often interpreted as a guilt or coercion tactic to manipulate people into sex.

You’re welcome!

Apologies for hijacking your ask with more ranting, but hearing about your difficulties makes me want people to REALLY understand what they’re doing when they’re reducing people to genitals. 

I think a lot of people reblog the “TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN!!!” posts without actually internalising the politics they’re reblogging, and I want to encourage people to actually consider what that means. 

If you accept that trans women are real women (as you should), then you must accept that at some point in the future you could fall in love with/be attracted to a woman with a penis. 

“But!” you say, “I just don’t like penises! It’s a personal preference!” 

Honey. It’s not a personal preference if it’s something the entire world tells you you should be doing. It’s not a personal preference to prefer non-hairy women, or thin women, or conventionally attractive women. These are things that society tells you to prefer. If you think you just suddenly came up with this idea of not being attracted to penises in a bubble, you’re confused about what social conditioning is and you need to read up on it and educate yourself on it. 

When someone says, “oh, I’m a lesbian and I totally accept trans woman but I could never sleep with someone with a penis because it’s my preference!” I hear something that sounds like, “Look, I love and respect all women, I just can’t be attracted to black women, it’s a personal preference!” Yes. It sounds actually that bad. 

If you say are rejecting a minority out of ‘personal preference’, you’re probably not. You’ve been subjected to decades of social conditioning that gets you to subconsciously prefer or expect certain traits in people. If you were born in a different era, you’d had a ‘personal preference’ for chubbier women, or rich women, or whatever was the trend for women to be at that time.

What is considered ‘attractive’ is VASTLY, VASTLY socially constructed. What it means to be a ‘lesbian’ is vasty, vastly socially constructed. We have been taught over decades that girls have vaginas and boys have penises, and naturally you thinking there is that you like girls and girls have vaginas, so you like vaginas and not penises. That’s far too simplistic. 

Now our understanding of gender is more complete, we understand that ‘girl’ doesn’t mean ‘vagina’, and people who think the only people who can REALLY be women are people who are born with vaginas are TERFS and they’re extremely bigoted people who don’t believe being transgender is possible. 

As I mentioned in my previous post, what people are typically attracted to, according to studies and sociological experiments, is secondary sexual characteristics. That’s asses, breasts, broad shoulders, muscles… the shape of someone’s body that suggests someone is masculine or feminine (or neither). These things can all be acquired with hormones, and can actually have nothing to do with genitals. We learn to associate these traits with particular genitals. And what can be learnt can be unlearnt. Sexuality preferring men,women, both or neither is innate. However it’s secondary sexual characteristics people are attracted to, not genitals. You don’t think “WHAT A NICE VAGINA!” about the cute woman walking down the street, do you? No, you find her attractive, and THEN assume she has x genitals. Unlearn that assumption, or at least, be open to accepting what’s there might be different than what you expect. 

There are some exceptions - survivors of sexual trauma who get triggered by penises, other small groups of people who for some reason have a fetish for a particular type of genitals, but in general, the vast, vast majority of lesbians who say “I won’t sleep with someone who has a penis” are doing it because they don’t understand how their attraction started, how social conditioning works, and because they’re not interested in challenging conventional ideas about gender. 

If this post makes you angry, if you’re reaching for the “ANON” button to tell me how you’re different and I’m WRONG WRONG WRONG, don’t. Step back. People are always ANGRY when they’re having their belief system challenged, angry and ready to fight. Instead of fighting with me, treat this as an opportunity to learn something about yourself. Think about it. This is a turning point for you. 

You don’t have to jump into bed with someone who has a penis straight away. It can take YEARS to unlearn all this stuff, and you should expect it will take you some time.

But, just like white people have to dedicate some attention to not being racist, cis people need to dedicate some attention to not being transphobic. 

If you believe trans woman are women and you’re not aro ace, then you need to accept that at some time in the future you could fall in love with and/or be attracted to a woman who has a penis. 

If You Asked...

This is a G!P fic. It’s not a smutty one though. In fact, it’s barely in there. I know some of you may not be into that, so I thought I’d give ya’ll the heads up.

If you asked Clarke, she would tell you that she doesn’t remember the very first time she met Lexa. Not because the girl wasn’t memorable or anything like that, she most definitely was. It just seemed like Lexa was always there. Her first really clear memory of the brunette was in second grade. She was on the playground for recess and Lexa was on the swing, keeping to herself as she would for the years to come.

September 1997

Clarke was playing four square with Harper, Zoe and Monty as usual during recess. The four were locked in a heated battle, Harper refusing to let Clarke win for the billionth time in a row. Seriously, how was one kid so good at four square? They all whipped their heads around toward the swing set when they heard a sudden shout of pain. All the kids ran over to find Lexa Woods clutching her arm, but only Clarke noticed the more rambunctious boys from their class, Bellamy, John and Finn, snickering to each other.

The yard attendant ran over and helped Lexa to the office, as they passed Clarke noticed the unshed tears that threatened to run down the small brunette’s cheek. Clarke was immediately impressed that she wasn’t actually crying. Her glasses were askew and she held her injured arm tight to her chest.

“Harper.” Clarke whispered. “I think Bellamy and Finn pushed Lexa down.”

Harper looked between Clarke and the boys, who were still laughing. “Why would they do that? Lexa doesn’t bother anyone. She’s quiet and smart and when she does talk, she’s nice.”

Clarke shrugged. “I think they’re bullies. We should asked her to play with us, so they leave her alone.” Harper nodded, so did Zoe and Monty. “She lives down the street from me, I’ll try to talk to her later.”

When they got back to class, Mrs. Kane sent Clarke to the office with Lexa’s backpack. When she rounded the corner to the nurse’s office, she was saddened by the sight of Lexa sitting in the hall with her head down and tears still in her eyes, not falling. She still had her arm clutched to her chest.

“Kiddo, what are you doing in here?” Jake Griffin, school principal and proud father, quietly asked as he approached his daughter from behind.

“I brought Lexa her backpack. Can I sit with her until her parents come? She’s hurt and she looks so sad. Please Dad?”

Jake looked from his daughter to the injured girl. “Okay kiddo, back to class when her parents get here.”

“Yes, sir.” Clarke made her way over to the seat next to Lexa and sat down slowly. She didn’t speak for a while, just sat next to the girl. After about three minutes, she looked over to find Lexa wiping a tear from her cheek. She slid her and over the brunette’s uninjured one. “Is your arm okay?”

“Hurts.” Lexa was known for being a girl of few words. She was the kind that always knew the answers in class, but didn’t offer them freely. She had to be called on from the teacher even though her hand wasn’t raised. Some of the kids were not so nice to her because they thought she was weird for that, but Clarke didn’t think she was weird. She knew the smaller brunette was just shy and the other kids were mean.

“Did Bellamy or Finn push you? I saw them laughing after you got hurt.” Lexa didn’t respond at first, but after a minute or so of Clarke looking at her, she nodded. “Tomorrow, you should hang out with me and my friends, so the mean boys leave you alone.”

Lexa chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to find the words to answer the blonde. “Thanks, but I like the swing.”

Clarke’s shoulders slumped a little. “Oh. Okay. Well, if you change your mind, you can hang out with us anytime.” Again, all she got was a nod. Then the front door of the office swung open and a concerned Dr. Emily Woods, one of Clarke’s mother’s coworkers, stepped in side.

“That’s my mom, gotta go. Bye, Clarke.” Lexa whispered as she picked up her backpack with her uninjured hand and quickly shuffled away.

The brunette’s arm was fractured, she came to school the next day with a bright green cast. The fact that it was broken and Lexa hadn’t really cried about it impressed Clarke. She told her dad that Bellamy and Finn pushed Lexa, and he called and told both of their parents. That only made them tease her worse, but they kept their hands to themselves from then on. They called her really clever names like “four-eyes” or “tattletale” or “nerd.” If you asked Lexa, it really didn’t bother her that much back then.

Clarke continued to try to get Lexa to hang out with her and her small group of friends during recess, but the brunette always politely declined. She did, however, manage to get her to sit with them at lunch time. She usually sat quietly across from Clarke, only sometimes interacting with Harper and Monty. Lexa did not like Wells, and Zoe moved away.

In the third grade, Clarke really started to get the hang of this whole school thing. She started paying attention more and daydreaming less. She made it her goal in life to score higher than Lexa on anything they had to turn in. She never did, though. It became a sort of playful rivalry between the two. Lexa always scoring one more point than her and then saying something like, “Oh, so close. Next time.” Clarke began to wonder if that next time would actually come. It truly was just an unspoken game between the two, and it lasted for years. Clarke was really the only person Lexa would speak to by choice outside of the lunch table at school, which got her teased even more. Through the years, she still sat with Clarke and her friends at lunch, but she was usually just reading quietly. However, she did mention that she was happy Wells moved in the middle of fourth grade. Harper laughed and Monty nodded with a smile.

In the sixth grade, Clarke had a birthday party and insisted Lexa come.

August 2001

“Clarke, kids, come on, it’s time for cake.” Abby called from the kitchen out to the pool area of their home. The Griffin’s lived in Santa Barbara, California and August was a perfect time for pool parties. It was only in the mid seventies, but the water was perfect. The kids who were in attendance all climbed out of the pool and toweled off before running inside the house. As Clarke stepped inside she was met by two additional guests, Lexa and her mother.

She smiled brightly at the latecomer. “Lexa! You came!”

“Hi, Clarke.”

“You’re just in time for cake, then we are going back in the pool. Did you bring a suit?”

“I, um.” Lexa looked to her mother who smiled softly and shook her head. “I can’t stay, but I wanted to bring you this.” She handed the birthday girl a small wrapped box. “I wrapped it myself. Hopefully it helps you actually beat my grade some day.” Lexa smiled softly and pushed her glasses up on her nose.

“Is it a miracle? How’d you get it to fit in a box?” Clarke joked. “Thank you, Lexa.”

“You’re welcome, Clarke.”

Lexa and her mother left after they ate some cake. Clarke saved her birthday present from Lexa until she was alone. It was a fancy calculator with a note from Lexa, thanking her for being her friend. If you asked Clarke, that’s the moment she knew Lexa was special to her. The girls in attendance at the party asked Clarke why Lexa was so shy, to which the blonde shrugged and said it didn’t matter. It really didn’t, Lexa being shy wasn’t hurting anyone. Lexa didn’t seem unhappy about it either, and she never seemed to let the comments of the bullies bother her. They still ate lunch together through the rest of elementary and middle school and sometimes, Clarke would convince Lexa to watch a movie at her house on the weekend. In these times when they were completely alone, Lexa would say or do the sweetest things. Clarke wasn’t sure if they were things reserved for just her, or if it was just Lexa’s natural way. If you asked Clarke, she would deny that she had a crush. She totally did though, a big one.

Many boys tried to get her attention, but Clarke had no time for them, not if she was going to somehow score higher than Lexa on something. At the end of eighth grade, Harper had her first big birthday party.

May 2004

“Okay, everyone sit down in a circle. We’re going to play a game.” Bellamy announced and all the kids groaned. Harper hadn’t invited him or Finn, but their parents were friends so alas, they were there. It was only the second time anyone had ever seen Lexa at a party. Having the kids who bullied her there made her very uncomfortable, and Clarke could tell.

“I think Lexa and I are going to pass on your games, Blake.” She shouted, with an annoyed tone.

He looked between them and furrowed his brow. “Come on Princess. Hang out with the cool kids for once. Stop babysitting the nerd.”

“Yeah, she’s just a loser. A freak. Don’t lower yourself down to that level.” Finn added.

Lexa stood calmly and walked out of the room. She didn’t stop until she reached the front porch, but then she had no idea where to go, so she sat on the steps.

“Lexa! Wait!” Clarke ran out the door after her, then sat down next to her. “Hey. Don’t listen to them, okay?”

“You should go back inside and have fun Clarke. My mom will be here soon to pick me up anyway. I don’t get to stay over like the rest of the girls.”

“Oh. Well I’m not going to have fun knowing you’re sad.” Clarke put her hand on Lexa’s knee. “Why can’t you stay?”

Lexa looked at her slowly, chewing her lip like she did when she was thinking over something very complicated. “My mom said no, because she doesn’t know Harper’s parents.”

“Oh.” The blonde thought for a second. “You’re mom knows my parents, could you maybe stay over at my house?”

The brunette shrugged. “Probably. Why?”

“We could have our own sleepover. Harper said the boys are staying tonight too, but in the living room. I told her my dad wouldn’t like that.”

If you asked Clarke, that first sleepover was the best ever. If you asked Lexa, well she was terrified of the first half, but slowly got more comfortable.

In ninth grade, their little group of friends took sex ed. Lexa and Clarke both confessed they thought girls were better than boys, though Clarke thought some boys were nice too. Neither of them thought it really made a difference.

It wasn’t until tenth grade that Clarke found out the main reason behind Lexa’s shyness.

April 2006

“Bellamy Blake, you stop showing off and pass that ball.” Coach Titus yelled as Bellamy moved the ball down the field. It was only PE class, but he was hell bent on impressing Clarke, who he had been hitting on since the beginning of freshman year. It was pathetic really, she had told him to shove off so many times that he should have been embarrassed. She even told him that the way he treated her friend made him the ugliest person she had ever met. His younger sister, Octavia, was in Clarke and Lexa’s circle of friends now too, and she even told him he was embarrassing himself. She also found out how he still tormented Lexa and told him if he didn’t knock it off, she would tell their mother and Aurora Blake was not a woman to be trifled with.

The two girls had made a pact to make sure that one of them was with Lexa at all times to prevent Bellamy, Finn or John from messing with her. They were really the only three who still picked on Lexa after middle school. Both Finn and Bellamy had made it their life mission to score a date with Clarke, and the more times they saw Clarke laugh at something Lexa said or touch Lexa’s arm softly, the more they wouldn’t let up on the poor girl. Although Lexa never complained, and when asked about the guys messing with her, she would just shrug nonchalantly. Sometimes though, they would say just the right thing to chink Lexa’s armor, and only Clarke would notice the deep frown that would appear.

So it was during this exhilarating period of PE in which he was attempting his newest tactic, showing Clarke what a great athlete he was. He sprinted down the field with the ball, and squared up to the net. Lexa was at goalie, where she had actually earned her spot on the school’s co-ed team, so it was time for him to kill two birds with one stone. Embarrass Lexa, by scoring a goal on her and proving he was the superior athlete, and impress Clarke. He looked over his shoulder to make sure the blonde was watching before he made his move.

He crossed over in front of the net and then turned back toward the goal and he ran full speed then kicked the ball as straight as he could. Lexa, however, was able to stop it with the palms of her hands as she dove, but she was not able to pull it back in. It dropped back to the pitch about three yards from where she was scrambling back to her feet, Bellamy ran over as fast as he could and kicked the ball as hard as possible. Lexa stood to full height at that precise moment and the ball ricocheted off her midsection. She dropped to the ground with a yelp of pain. Bellamy kicked the ball into the net finally as Lexa rolled to her knees attempting to catch her breath. Clarke and Octavia ran over after watching the whole event. Bellamy was still celebrating and Lexa was still on the ground, which concerned Clarke immensely. She quickly made her way over to the brunette.

“Lexa? Hey, you okay? That looked like it hurt.”

“I’m - I’ll be okay, just need a second.” Lexa breathed out hard and waved her off, but it didn’t stop the concern Clarke felt. She went over to Coach Titus and voiced that concern, then ran back over to Lexa’s side.

“Come on Woods, it couldn’t have hurt that bad, you big baby.” Bellamy taunted as he stood back and watched as Lexa slowly made her way to her feet.

“Shut it, Bell.” Octavia yelled and pushed his shoulder. “I told you to leave her alone. Jesus.”

Clarke sidled up next to the goalie and put a soft hand on her shoulder. “Come on Lexa. Coach told me to take you back to the locker room to change then to the nurse if you need it.”

Bellamy glared as Clarke put her arm around Lexa and they slowly made their way off the field and toward the girls locker room. As they reached the bench in front of Lexa’s locker, she sat down slowly and winced, still in pain. She gave Clarke the combination to her locker and sat back as the girl grabbed her things out of it.

“Uh, Lexa, why is this in here?” The blonde held up a brand new athletic cup, still in the packaging.

“Clarke, please put that away.” Lexa pleaded as she looked around for anybody else who might be in the room, Clarke looked over her shoulder and the girl’s eyes matched her tone.

“Okay.” Clarke whispered as she put the cup back where she found it. “Are you, like, transgender or something? I mean, I don’t care either way. You’re still Lexa and I’ll still get a better grade than you at some point. Someday.” She smiled softly at the brunette who only looked to her feet. A move Clarke had come to know as ‘Lexa is embarrassed.’

It was a long few seconds, but “intersex” was mumbled. Clarke’s eyes went wide, because she may or may not have heard ‘into sex’ because of said mumbling. But there is no way that was what Lexa had said.

“What?”

“Intersex. Not Trans. I was born with both male and female anatomy. Please don’t tell anyone. No one outside of my family knows. Please, Clarke.” The pleading was back.

“I would never.” Clarke tried to reassure the poor girl but she still couldn’t get direct eye contact. “Hey, look at me.” Slowly the brunette did. “Can I hug you?” Slowly she got a nod. Clarke knelt in front of her and wrapped her arms around the taller girl, she tucked her head into Lexa’s neck. “You’re okay. I’ve known you forever, Lex. I would never betray you like that, okay?”

It took a long while but eventually Lexa was slowly nodding. “Okay.”

Clarke kissed her cheek quickly. “Are you still in pain?”

Lexa froze for a second then shook her head. “I think I’m alright now. Thank you.”

Clarke went home that night and waited by the door for her mom to come home. As soon as Abby stepped through the door, she started firing off questions about people who are born intersex. “What does it mean? How does that happen? What percentage of the population does it affect? Google is only so helpful, Mom.” All questions were answered to the best of Abby’s knowledge. When she asked why Clarke was so curious, she was told, “Not my secret, so I’m not sharing.” Which Abby respected her daughter for. If you asked Abby, she knew it was about Lexa.

May 2006

“Lexa, can I asked you a really personal question?” It was about three weeks since had Clarke found out about Lexa being intersex and she had done an immense amount of research into the topic, but she hadn’t brought it up with the brunette again. They were currently in Clarke’s room, watching TV on Clarke’s bed.

“Sure.”

“So, don’t freak out or anything, but I’ve been doing some research on people who are born intersex.”

“You have?” Lexa raised an eyebrow in questioning, honestly surprised.

“Well yeah. If I was born with something different about me, wouldn’t you research it? It’s our nature as nerds, Lex.”

“Yeah, okay. You’re right. What’s your question?”

“Do you hate it?” Clarke looked to her nervously, not wanting to make Lexa uncomfortable.

“Being intersex?”

“Well sorta, but I meant, specifically your penis?”

“Oh. Uh, no. I actually don’t. I know a lot of people do, when they are born like this. I just don’t want to be viewed as a freak. I already have a hard enough time because of my immensely selective personality in regards to socializing. But, if everyone were as accepting as you, I wouldn’t hide it.”

“Cool. Want to watch Lion King?”

Lexa chuckled softly at the segue, as she shook her head. “Sure, Clarke.”

If you asked Clarke, Lexa’s laugh in any form was the best. After that conversation, Lexa would actually interact with the other people who were present, outside of Clarke their friends. She felt safer knowing Clarke knew her secret and wouldn’t tell. Two of the new kids joined their group too, Raven and Lincoln. Octavia was immediately all over Lincoln, and her brother hated it, which made Clarke’s day.

By the end of sophomore year, Clarke started making Lexa hang out with her more. “Lexa, summer reading is so boring. You’re the only one who is as big of a nerd as I am. Keep me entertained.” Or “Lexa, please? College applications are like, almost here. I have to get into Harvard.” Or, Lexa’s favorite, not that she would ever tell someone. “I just kinda need you around, Lex.” This led to many days lounging around the Griffin house. If you asked Lexa, these were her favorite days of high school.

November 2006

“Clarke, I need your help.” Lexa whisper yelled as she got to their lunch spot.

“Sure, anything.”

“You know that new girl, Costia? I think she has a thing for me, and she was just flirting and asked me to go see a movie. But I didn’t realize it was like, a date thing until I said sure and I was walking over here. It was like an epiphany as I walked. What do I do?”

Clarke shook her head and laughed under her breath. “Oh Lexa. Do you want to go on a date with her?”

“I, uh. I don’t know. I don’t know anything about her.” Lexa sighed.

“Funny thing about dates, Lex. You talk and get to know someone on them.”

“So I should go?”

“It’s up to you. Don’t do anything you don’t want to.”

Lexa went on that date and showed up three hours later at Clarke’s house. She could tell the girl was upset, but she just sat on the end of Clarke’s bed silently for a while.

“She wanted me to touch her during the movie.” Lexa clenched her jaw and looked straight ahead at a painting Clarke had done that hung on the wall. “I told her I wasn’t that kind of person, that we didn’t really know each other, and she got upset with me.”

Clarke stared at the side of Lexa’s head from where she was leaning on her dresser. “What the actual fuck?”

“Yeah.” She exhaled hard. “Can I sleep over?”

“Of course, Lex. We can cuddle and watch Lord of the Rings.”

The rest of junior year went on like nothing happened. Lexa was able to block out that one shitty night and pretend it never happened. Clarke told their friends to be wary of Costia, but wouldn’t say why. She said they were more than welcome to ask Lexa, but she wouldn’t give up any details. Everyone just let it go.

July 2007

“Lexa, it’s so damn hot.” Clarke whined from the spot she was currently occupying sprawled out on the hardwood floor in the living room. It was hot outside, like really hot. A sweltering 92 degrees which was the highest on record for the area in nearly thirty years.

“I don’t control the weather Clarke.” Lexa replied matter-of-factly from her mirrored position on the opposite side of the coffee table.

“Let’s go in the pool.”

“I uh. I don’t know Clarke. I haven’t been-”

Clarke cut her off before she could finish. “Lex, if you’re not comfortable, that’s okay. But, it’s just you and me here. You’re safe.” Clarke has known about ‘little Lexa’ as she referred to it for a little over a year. It had brought up exactly three times. The time she asked if Lexa was okay with it, the time they were learning about male reproductive health, and last month when Lexa said she had a doctor’s appointment for a fertility screening. Needless to say, Lexa felt comfortable with herself around Clarke.

“Okay. I just need to run home and get my stuff.”

“Really?” Clarke rolled over, proper herself up on her elbow and looked at her friend. “I mean it you know. I would never pressure you into anything.”

“I know Clarke, I promise I’m okay. I trust you.”

Fifteen minutes later, Lexa walked back into the Griffin house, appropriate swim attire in hand and was met with Clarke’s voice telling her to head into the pool. Abby had called and she needed to finish changing. Lexa, tied her hair back, dressed quickly in trunks and a bikini top, then grabbed towels for the two of them and hopped into the pool. She was standing about waist deep when Clarke finally emerged from the house. She was wearing a navy blue bikini that left little to the imagination. The blonde had yet to look at the pool, but was talking anyway.

“Lexa, is your anatomy the reason you didn’t stay that time you came for my birthday?”

“Uh. Yeah. It is hard to try to explain why I wear swim trunks, without telling everyone my secret.” Clarke looked to her friend, who was staring down at the water. She raised an eyebrow, knowing something was troubling the brunette, and slowly eased into the water. Making her way over to her friend, she came to a stop just in front of the other girl, who immediately backed away.

Clarke didn’t take another step toward her because she wanted to make sure Lexa was comfortable, and right now, she was sure Lexa was not. “What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

“Nothing.” She still didn’t look up.

“Then why won’t you look at me? You only do that when you’re uncomfortable or embarrassed.” She watched as Lexa flushed a shade of dark pink she had seen once or twice on the brunette. “Lex?”

“I, uh. I didn’t think this through enough.”

“What? Swimming?” Clarke questioned softly.

Lexa’s shoulders dropped a bit. “Well, yeah kinda. Mostly, you in a bathing suit. You’re just…” She finally lifted her eyes from the water, finding piercing blue eyes instead. “You’re really, really beautiful. And I am really attracted to you but I don’t want to be, um, disrespectful or objectify you.” She pointed down to the water, and the point was made.

Nope. Not expecting that. It took a few seconds for Clarke’s brain to process what Lexa had said. When it finally did, she was already unconsciously moving forward, toward the other nervous teen. This time Lexa didn’t move back. She placed on hand on Lexa’s cheek and brushed her thumb over the bottom lip that was currently being chewed to hell and back. “So are you, Lexa. So beautiful. And god, I’ve been attracted to you for years.” She whispered, then leaned in and placed her lips on brunette’s. It was slow and timid at first, both girls not exactly sure what to do with themselves. Lexa was the first to figure it out and gently put her hands on Clarke’s hips. She pulled the shorter girl closer to her as their lips continued to slide over each other. Clarke wrapped her arms around the brunette’s neck and pulled her in even tighter. If you asked Clarke who made the first move to deepen the kiss she’d blush and tell you she didn’t know. It was her, it was totally her.

Life didn’t change much after that, aside from Lexa and Clarke now being a couple. They spent the rest of summer completing their AP course summer work. They applied for colleges, they playfully competed for Valedictorian, even though Clarke was sure she would never beat Lexa’s score on anything.

One month into the school year, Clarke had enough of Bellamy and Finn with their tirade against Lexa for no apparent reason. She went to her dad, who called Marcus Kane, the high school principal. The boys were suspended and told they would be expelled if it didn’t stop. They did.

Three months into the school year, Clarke actually convinced Lexa to go to a party.

November 2007

“This music is awful.” Lexa groaned as she and Lincoln pushed their way through the crowd at Raven’s house. The only thing Lexa liked about the party so far, is that it was almost over. She had stayed with Clarke and their friends through most of the night, as they drank and laughed. They only separated when a buzzed Octavia announced she had to pee and drug Clarke along with her. She instructed Lincoln, who was also sober, to make sure her brother didn’t bother Lexa. “How late do these things usually go?” She nearly yelled, to make sure her question was heard over the thumping of the bass line.

“Until people start puking or the cops show up.” Lincoln shrugged, like it was all normal. She was working on her second bottle of water when arms slipped around her waist from behind.

“You’re really sexy, you know that?” Clarke husked into her ear, then kissed just below it. Public displays of affection still weren’t either Lexa or Clarke’s thing, they chose to keep their relationship private. At school, they held hands but nothing really more than that. In private, they were not quite as reserved. “We should get out of here. I want to make out.”

Lexa chuckled softly and smiled. “Okay, we can go. Do you want to get food first?”

The slightly intoxicated blonde’s eyes lit up. “Oh. My. God. Yes. Babe, you’re a genius. Octavia! Lexa’s a genius. Go get Harper, we’re going to Denny’s.”

That’s how Clarke, Lexa, Octavia, Lincoln, Harper and Monty all ended up at IHOP at two thirty in the morning. Harper had argued that the Denny’s they had set out for was crawling with drunk college guys at that time. Clarke had her own food in front of her, but insisted on eating Lexa’s fries, humming happily after each one she stole. They all sat there laughing and talking until Clarke and Harper were pretty much sober, Octavia was a whole different story. Everyone bid each other farewell, as they all went to their separate vehicles. As Lexa navigated the streets back home, Clarke’s hand inched it’s way over the center console. It finally reached the soccer players lean thigh about five minutes into the trip. It stayed there the rest of the way, and Lexa chanced a couple of glances at stoplights, seeing that Clarke was just looking forward, smiling. She looked content, like she didn’t have a single care in the world. If you asked Lexa, that’s one of her favorite looks from Clarke. Once they pulled into the driveway at Lexa’s, Clarke finally made her move. She leaned over the console to press a kiss to the brunette’s lips, at the same time, her hand went to the nape of the driver’s neck. She kissed her girlfriend passionately, until she needed to breathe.

When Lexa managed to get air into her lungs, she decided to pose a tricky question. They hadn’t done anything more that some heavy make outs and a little bit of grinding on each other. “Do you want to stay over tonight?”

Clarke looked at her somewhat shyly, considering how aggressively she had just been kissing her girlfriend. “Are your parents still out of town?”

“Yes, but I didn’t mean that in that way, babe. I just want your cuddles. And if we do go there I want you to feel just as comfortable as you always make me feel.”

Clarke smiled softly. “I know. And I appreciate that. I love you, Lex.”

“I love you too, Clarke.” It was Lexa’s turn to lean over the console and kiss her girlfriend, but it was a short, sweet kiss. “Now, am I walking you home or are you coming up?”

“I’m coming up.”

They grabbed a glass of water each and a movie from downstairs then settled into Lexa’s bed, with the brunette as the big spoon. The movie played as the sun rose but neither girl paid any attention. Instead they laid there, trading slow lazy kisses. At some point, shirts were removed so they could gently caress each other’s skin. At another point, Lexa’s lips left Clarke’s and she pressed them to every inch of the girls exposed torso. When she reached the waistband of Clarke’s shorts, she was asked to keep going, so she did. She pulled them down slowly keeping her eyes on the perfect face of her girlfriend, looking for any sign of discomfort, she never found it.

She continued to worship the body beneath her until her name was being moaned out, over and over again. She continued to worship the goddess that made her feel so entirely comfortable with herself, that sometimes she forgot she was made differently.

Clarke looked at her with so much adoration and love after she tumbled over the edge for the second time, that Lexa almost forgot what they were doing. Long fingers gripped her chin and pulled her back up to meet the blonde’s lips. “Lex, please. I want to feel you too, and I need you to feel me.” If you asked Lexa, that was the moment that she knew as long as she lived, no one would ever compare to Clarke.

The rest of senior year went perfectly.

Three weeks before graduation, Clarke found out she got into Harvard. Two weeks before graduation, Lexa found out she got into MIT. One week before graduation, Lexa and Clarke were told they were Valedictorian and Salutatorian, respectively.

One day before graduation, Clarke did not show up for the practice run through.

June 2008

“Lexa Woods, please report to the office.” The office secretary’s voice came through the PA system. Lexa made her way to the office quickly, unsure of what she could have possibly done to get summoned on the last day of school. She opened the office door to find her father standing at the counter with a sad smile.

“Hey kiddo.” Alexander was a somewhat intimidating man to those who didn’t know him. He was a construction manager who had worked his way up from the very bottom. He was physically a large guy, built like a bull as he would say.

“Dad. What’s wrong?”

He sighed and nodded his head out the door. “I’m taking you home early.”

“What happened to mama?”

“No! Nothing. Munchkin, mama is fine. It’s Jake Griffin, he had a heart attack on the way to work this morning.”

Lexa’s eyes immediately welled with concern. Jake and Abby had always been like a second set of parents to her. “Oh my god. Is… is he going to make it?”

“I don’t know, munchkin. But mama called me to come get you so that you can be with Clarke.” She nodded and they got into the car and drove wordlessly to the hospital. When they arrived, Alexander guided her to where he was told the Griffin women were waiting. Clarke looked up when she entered the room and both of them broke out into sobs as Lexa through her arms around her. They stayed there, wrapped up together, neither girl ever moving to let go, until the doctor came in hours later and told them Jake was going to be okay.

Lexa read Clarke’s speech at the graduation ceremony the next day. It was the only way Clarke could convince her to go. As soon as it was over, she was right back at the hospital along with their friends.

The first years of college passed quickly for the couple. Clarke and Lexa were both in the Boston area making life so much better during college. They were the ideal couple to their friends, and yes, Lexa made more friends. College was good to her. They only had one big fight during the their undergrad.

September 2010

“Lexa, please. I need you to help around here.” They moved into a small apartment after their first year of college so they could be together. Lexa had taken up app developing with a friend in her spare time, and she tended to zone out when she was really into it. “Lexa? Are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, babe. I’m listening.” She replied from her spot on the couch, eyes not leaving the screen.

“What did I say then?” Clarke’s hands went to her hips and she cocked her head to the side.

Lexa finally looked away from the computer. “Okay, to be completely honest I missed the first part of what you said. But I am listening now.”

Clarke closed her eyes and shook her head. “Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me. Lexa this place is a disaster. It’s so gross. I get that college is easy for you and you’re like a natural genius who never needs to study, but maybe in your free time you could pull yourself away from the computer for five minutes and wash the damn dishes.”

Lexa sat up straight and looked around the room, then looked back at Clarke with a furrowed brow. “Okay, babe. I’ll wash them right now.” She got up and went into the kitchen to find two coffee cups and a plate. She was confused even more now, so after rinsing them and placing them in the dishwasher, she returned to the living room and picked up the three pieces of paper on the coffee table. She placed them in her back pack, then sat back down at her laptop. She began the sign off procedure for the developer tool she was using, making sure all her work was saved.

Clarke came back into the room at that precise moment. “Really, Lexa? Really. You couldn’t stop and do what I asked for five minutes?”

“I did what you asked Clarke, and I am turning my computer off to help you with whatever you need for the rest of the night.” Lexa stood and faced her girlfriend. “What is going on with you?”

“What’s going on with me? Really?” She folded her arms over her chest. “I have to do everything, all of the time, and I asked you to help me this once, and something is going on with me?” She dropped her arms to the side. “You know what? I’m leaving.”

Lexa’s jaw dropped and her heart sank. She didn’t say anything or move to stop the furious woman, she just stood there, in shock. Clarke left the apartment with a slam of the door.

She returned four hours later to a spotless apartment, freshly laundered sheets and clothing which was put away appropriately, and a crying girlfriend sitting on her side of their bed.

“Lex, baby.” She slowly approached their bed. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. It was wrong, I was unfair to you. I know you do stuff around here. Hell, I know there were only three dishes in the sink earlier. I’m so sorry.”

Lexa sniffed before looking up at Clarke. The brunette was not a crier, Clarke had maybe seen it three times in the years they have known each other. She immediately started crying as well, knowing how much she had to have hurt Lexa for there to be tears. “Why?” Was all she managed to croak out at first. “I love you more than anything in this world Clarke. You just left. You left me.”

“I know baby, I know. I shouldn’t have left. I love you too. I promise I’ll never do that again.” Clarke slowly leaned in and pressed their foreheads together, tears still rolling down both of their cheeks. “I’m so sorry.” Lexa was the one to lean forward and press their lips together in a salty, tear filled kiss. “I think I figured out why I flew off the handle like that. It’s not an excuse for how I acted.” She lifted the plastic Walgreen’s bag and pulled out a pregnancy test. “I haven’t had my period for the last two months. I chalked it up to stress because we always use protection.”

“You… You think you might be pregnant?” Lexa’s jaw dropped as she looked at the box.

“It’s either that or I have a huge hormone imbalance for some other reason.”

Clarke wasn’t pregnant. She went the the doctor who basically just shrugged and said it happens, then put her on birth control to help regulate her. There were no more outbursts, but there was a lot more sex. Now that they were sure there would be no babies in their near future coupled with the fact that they both loved the feeling of not have a condom barrier between them. If you asked Clarke, that fight never happened, because she is still mad at herself to this day about how much she hurt Lexa.

Oh and that app Lexa was working on? Well, it sold to Facebook two years later for an undisclosed amount of money. Lexa was now an undisclosed amount of loaded. (She had $140 million.) Neither of them would ever have to work again if they chose not to, just on the interest alone.

It wasn’t until after graduation from grad school, Lexa garnering a double masters in engineering and architecture, Clarke finishing law school, that they broached the subject of marriage.

November 2014

“Clarke, baby. Wake up.” Lexa gently shook her sleeping girlfriend into consciousness early on a Saturday morning.

“Five more minutes, Lex.” The blonde mumbled and pushed her head deeper into the pillow.

“Clarke, come on. It’s important.” Lexa whined from next to her. Clarke slowly rolled onto her side and came eye to eye with her girlfriend. “Hi.”

“Hey. Do you know what today is?”

“No? Should I? Our anniversary is in July. Your birthday is in April. Mine was August -”

“Okay, okay. Technically it’s none of those, but it’s also all of those. Today is special for its own reason.” Lexa explained. “Today’s date is 10/22/14. Your birthday is August 10th, mine is April 22nd, and our anniversary is July 14th. And I would also, very much like it if, it could be described as the day you agreed to marry me?”

Clarke’s eyes went wide. “What?”

Lexa pulled a small ring box out from under her pillow. “Clarke Abigail Griffin, would you please continue to make me the happiest woman in the world by marrying me?”

Clarke’s eyes filled with tears and she nodded vigorously. “Yes. Yes. Yes yesyesyes.” She punctuated each yes with a kiss.

If you asked Lexa, there was no happier moment in her life, up to this point, than when Clarke said I do the next year on the same day. If you asked Clarke, Lexa is the world’s biggest sap. It’s totally true and Clarke totally loves it.

The wedding was a small, intimate affair. Their wedding party consisted of Harper, Octavia, and Raven on Clarke’s side, and Lincoln, Monty and Anya (Lexa’s college friend) on the other.

They did a traditional dollar dance at the wedding and they donated the money to a school in Thailand. Drunk Monty paid three times, danced with each girl once and then initiated a group hug style sway on the third. Lexa cut him off.

When they got back from the honeymoon, Lexa and Anya architecture firm exploded in popularity. They hired Raven, Monty and Lincoln to work with them, paying for them and their spouses to move to Boston. Clarke went to work at the district attorney’s office and life continued pushing forward. Harper became a highschool teacher and Octavia a social worker.

Octavia and Lincoln got married next, it was also a small wedding. Lexa and Clarke made a large, anonymous, donation to wedding their fund. Everyone still knew who it was, no one questioned it. At the wedding, the women did their best to keep away from Bellamy, who still seemed to harbor some sort of grudge.

March 2016

“You can chill the fuck out or you can leave. Those are your two options Bell.” Octavia poked him in the chest to further make her point.

“I’m not leaving your wedding, O. You’re my sister. Make her leave.” He squared his shoulders and clenched his jaw.

Octavia had enough. “Why would I do that? You have tormented Lexa for her entire life, Bellamy. Her whole life. If someone did that to me, there is no way I would be friends with his sister. She has never once, never ever, said a cross word about you to me. God knows she could, but she doesn’t. So what the fuck is your problem?”

“How was she so weird all through school and she still got Clarke to fall for her?” Bellamy glared over her shoulder to where the happy couple was chatting with Raven and Anya. He clenched his jaw again as Lexa leaned over and pressed a kiss to Clarke’s temple.

“That’s what this is all about? You’re upset you could never land Clarke. Un-fucking-believable. Okay, number one she wasn’t ‘weird’, she was quiet. There is a difference. Number two, you know what, no, I’m done talking to you. If you so much as think about going near either one of them, I will have your ass thrown out of here so fast, Bellamy Blake.” She turned and stomped away, an elegant feat in a wedding dress. She turned and stomped back quickly. “Just so you know, they have treated me more like family in the past ten plus years than you ever have. Look around you, they’ll never admit it, but they are the ones that paid for everything. Pull your head out of your ass.” She stomped away, for good this time.

The dance floor was opened up after the newly married couple swayed to Etta James’ At Last. Next, Clarke and Lexa slowly swayed to Elvis’ I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You, which was their first dance song just a few short months ago. When the song concluded, some pop medley came on and Lexa excused herself to the restroom and to grab two more drinks. At 25 years old, Lexa liked to think her level of self control was pretty damn high. That being said, she was completely unsurprised by the events of the forty five seconds between her re entering the ballroom and Bellamy holding his bleeding nose in the middle of the dance floor.

“Clarke, can I talk to you for a second?” Bellamy nearly pleaded as he approached the blonde in the middle of the dance floor.

“That depends, do you have an itemized list of all the things you’re going to apologise to my wife for?” She really enunciated wife, just for him.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously before stammering out his response. “No, I was just hoping to talk to you. Maybe you could give me another chance to prove that I’m a good -”

“Oh no. We’re not doing this. You aren’t going to stand here and disrespect my marriage.” Clarke turned to walk off the dance floor when a strong hand griped her bicep.

“Clarke wait.”

She shot him a glare. “Let me go, Bellamy.”

“Just let me finish-” His pleading was cut off by a fist to the face. He stumbled backward and hit the ground with a thud, clearly not prepared for the hit.

“You do not get to put your hands on my wife.” A very livid Lexa was standing over him, one hand bunched in his collar. “You bullying me in school was one thing. I didn’t fight back because I would have hurt you, severely, and I couldn’t have that on my record. But I swear on all that you hold dear, if you ever touch Clarke again, they will never find your body.” With that, she released him and gently took her wife’s hand, leading her from the dance floor.

Lincoln came up to Bellamy after the women walked away. “O said to tell you that you deserved so much more than what you just got, and you should feel lucky that Lexa is such a good person. And also that she warned you, now it’s time for you to leave. I’ve gotta say, man, I definitely don’t disagree.” He waved over two of his friends who were ushers for the ceremony. “Make sure he leaves.” Lincoln shook his head in disappointment and walked back to where his wife was standing with their friends.

“Damn Lexa, where’d you learn to throw a punch like that?” Raven questioned, handing over a bag of ice for her knuckles.

“I’ve been taking muay thai classes since I was six.” Everyone’s jaw dropped as they gaped at her. Everyone except Clarke. “What?”

“So you could have handled his ass a long time ago?” Lincoln asked, brow furrowed.

“Well, after the arm incident, they physically left me alone, so there was nothing I could do. If I hit him first, it would have been on my record forever.” Lexa shrugged. Clarke had known for many years about Lexa’s martial art prowess. She even went to a few matches in high school. It was just one of those things Lexa chose not to talk about with anyone besides her, so Clarke left it that way. “I tried to never let him get to me, guys, but tonight was the last straw. Sorry this happened at your wedding O.”

“Oh, no. That’s okay. He deserved it. I even warned him to stay away from you both.”

Harper and Monty got married next, but it was a quick, courthouse ceremony. Harper was pregnant and they needed to add her to Monty’s insurance. He still worked for Lexa and Anya, and they tried to pull some strings but the insurance company wasn’t having it.

December 2016

“Look at her Lex. She’s perfect.” The Griffin-Woods stood in front of the viewing window of the nursery at Mass General. “Emma Amelia Green. I can’t believe she is finally here.”

“Me either, babe. You know, I did the math. She was definitely conceived around the time of Linc and O’s wedding.” They shared a laugh, then continued watching the tiny infant sleep. “I want one.” Clarke was surprised to find that she was hearing those words instead of being the one to say them. She looked at her wife, surprise evident on her face.

“You do?”

“Well, yeah.” Lexa shrugged. “I want everything with you.” Clarke hummed and nodded. “Can you imagine? A little girl with your nose and my eyes.” Lexa chuckled and wrapped her arms firmly around her wife.

“I was thinking a little boy with your hair and my eyes.”

Lexa pressed a kiss to Clarke’s temple before mumbling. “That would be nice too.”

If you asked Clarke, she was ready to have Lexa’s baby all those years ago, when they thought she might be pregnant. If you asked Lexa, everything that has happened between her and Clarke happened at the precisely perfect moment.

They had managed to keep Lexa’s secret about being intersex from their friends until the time that they conceived. None of them batted an eye.

Alexander Jacob Griffin-Woods or AJ for short, was born April 29th, 2018 at 6:43pm. He was 6 lbs 13 oz of physical perfection. He had Clarke’s hair and Lexa’s eyes. After she saw him for the first time, Clarke looked at her wife with a wide grin. “If you asked me way back in third grade, I would have never guessed this would be when I finally beat you at something.”

Lexa just shrugged, smiled, then kissed her and then kissed her son as she stroked his blonde hair. “Yeah, you earned this one.”