Can we hear the full fluffalupagus story because that sounds interesting?
Hello there! For the first time The Gay Wife is answering directly! When my wife started the blog, I told her that I didn’t want any direct hand in it, because I should never be my own editor for the ridiculous shit I say. But, I didn’t want to pass this (rather unremarkable) story on secondhand.
So I work retail in a very small downtown shop. We get a fair amount of business men coming in on their lunch breaks to run fast errands. Usually these guys make me gnash my teeth, because they are always in a hurry to be assholes to me. Not all of them, but most.
So these two neatly dressed, trim, 30-somethings walk in all tucked inside their business causal suits and I am fully expecting to get the pass-by. But then we were talking, and they were ribbing on each other, and it was sweet, and we got on Muppets? Somehow? And I mentioned I love Fozzy Bear.
The older, more severe looking man looked at me, and said, “Now I hope this won’t be offensive to you—”
And I swallow pure acid because 100-fucking-percent it was going to be offensive.
And he says something like, “I always tell this hyper religious co-worker of mine, a real piece of work, that he is more than welcome to believe in Mr. Snuffleupagus, but I am the rest of Sesame street, and I don’t see him. You may see God, but I don’t see him. So I send him pictures of Mr. Snuffleupagus when he gets on his high horse.”
The man’s friend made a few remarks about how that isn’t all that cool, and yeah I kinda agreed but what the hell did I know anyway? So instead I say, “Yeah, but Mr. Snuffleupagus is real. They said so in a 1985 episode.”
The man looked at me like I had just smacked him with a halibut. His whole center of stuffy office atheism had been thrown off his axis. He immediately started asking for proof and links and for evidence. I provided. His friend was declaring that he was going to tell this fellow office member that he was right all along. And if that was true, what of God? Was the Divine Muppet there in front of you the whole time, but you weren’t looking? Is God a droopy-eyed anteater-elephant that is always just right there, but you were too busy ‘humoring’ the ‘believers?’ Maybe this is your sign Greg???
I swear I saw this information wash over the man like a dramatic crash of the immortal sea against a once proud cliff face. Totems were falling. The castles of his mind were crumbing into dust. He saw every shitty thing he ever said to this other man flash before his eyes. It was vivid play of images of Mr. Snuffleupagus with the words SHAME and BELIEVE flashing over the Muppet’s face.
Anyway, they paid for their cards and I thanked them for shopping local and had to wonder what I had wrought on a nameless office, in a nameless space, where Mr. Snuffleupagus would forever be watching.