get away u cute lil shit

Reminiscing

I was thinking about this amazing scam I pulled a couple months ago and realized I never did a post on it even though it was iconic. 

So I’m gonna leave the names of the cities out for privacy but let’s say I’m in big city A and this guy from big city B, he messages me on SA and asks if I want to have a “night of fun” in his city. We go on and it’s really really clear to me he’s just looking for an escort, which at the time I wasn’t okay with doing/had stated in my bio I wasn’t okay with pay for play. 

But my scamming ass has always wanted to go to big city B. So I play along. This man gets straight up raunchy, asking me if I do anal, bareback, face fucking, swallowing, the whole 9. I’m like of couuurse anything for the $600 you’re offering me. *eye roll* 

So he buys me this first class train ticket and I’m stoked as hell. I never planned on meeting this guy at all, I was just going to get my own hotel and have fun exploring this city, but then my brilliant hoe mind decides to change my Tinder location to this city to see if I can find any hot vanilla guys to show me around. Of course I find a bunch but one in particular who I really liked. We messaged over the next few days and he said he’d meet me for lunch when I got there and that I can sleep over if I’m comfortable with it. 

SA guy says he’ll pick me up from the train station and I give him the description of an outfit totally opposite to mine for him to look for a girl wearing, and when I get there I block him off Text Plus and SA and run away like  

Originally posted by justinbieberssexybody

I met up with this cute ass vanilla guy for lunch and he gave me a fun lil tour of the city and then we get to a mall and he’s like I need to go to a meeting but pick up something cute for dinner and I’ll Venmo you however much it is. So I’m like shit ooookay Tinder boy u like a mini SD (he’s 27). I got a cute dress and some bracelets. 

He took me to this really nice seafood restaurant and a bitch had like a 3 course meal with wine and was so god damn happy. Then we go back to his place and I’m like ok this guy is loaded, he had this huge apartment with an amazing fireplace and a patio and just top of the line appliances and stuff.

We literally didn’t even hook up even though I kinda wanted to, he just wanted me to be comfortable and feel okay, we made out and cuddled and watched movies all night and then he took me to the train station in the morning AND when I got back to city A he paid for an uber from the station back to the place I was staying at. 

Anyway this is just to show you that instead of just ignoring salty ass guys you can really take a dumb situation and turn it into a full on finesse if you a resourceful bitch. Happy scamming heauxs. 

Originally posted by gifsme

anonymous asked:

hey, i was wondering, do you have any recommendations for good boys love mangas?? you seem to know a lot of them, so i was wondering if you had any favs you'd suggest

HAHAHAH OFC I DO WHO ARE U KIDDING

hmm i know i have a list somewhere lemme find itttt

haha im sry i just copied and pasted this but here u go!!!

here are the “light” one where htey dont rly do that much

  • KURAYAMI NI STORBE OMG- THIS IS MY FAVORITE BL  anything by hayakawa nojiko is gorgeous ok just read all of them. her art is great and eherpaneling is jurgh alsobss. and this one is dumb high school boys so mhhhm yes my favorite
  • seven days- this ones a classic and it has absolutely GORGEOUS art
  • slow starter- the art is rough, but i love it, and damh the chaaracters are so freaking cute and it has the cutest confession scene ive ever read. the general atmosphere is rly sweet and nice too
  • blue sky complex- same mangaka as slow starter and this one is also rly slow and sweet. ch 4 is amazing tera is the cutest lil shit and im just dying for ch5 cause im p sure they get together ajdn just gyyaaaa!!!
  • konya mo nemurai- k this one is super cute and also has fantasy and demons!!! who doesnt love those. p much anything by this mangaka is super cute rly ^u^
  • Saiyaku wa Boku o Suki Sugiru-  k the beauty of this one iS IT HAS A SIMPLE PLOT THAT ACTUALLY RLY RLY INTERSTING. adn the art and characters are super sweet too. like they dont get togeth right away its super gradual and jus t mhmmmm they havent even gotten toghether lmao but is so cute
  • aitsu no daihonmei- k this one is rly crackish and funny and the art is ok, nothing special. the couple get together rly quick, but its still ongoing so its just about the antics they have with their friends and what not, it has a lo t of wtf moments tho LOLOL but its pretty popular cause damn the main couple is just the cutest thing ever ok you will see

here are the hot ones 

  • honto yajuu- sry you probably already read this one, but they couple is super cute , but one of them is alos super horny lols so they do it all the time and dammnn you can see the mangaka gets better at drawing those scenes as it goes on. cause its like.. 5? volumes and still ongoing hell yes
  • rutta to kodoma-  hah idk if this rly count its more a sweet story, but hey htey do it like every chot and its rly rly sexy ok. it stayrs of rly iffy but i rly loved how it developed and they totally are heads over heels for each other its adorbs
  • JUNKO’S WORKS (esp. konbini-kun, recipe no ouji-sama)- her art is gorgeous and the stories are generally rly cute but damnn the sexy scenes are rly hot ok
  • junketsu drop-  the art is rly unique and damn that denial is beautiful and wants me bang my head at the same time
  • hana wa saku ka-  god this is one of my faves ok its rly slow but the build up is great and its so sweet when they finaly get to gether its totally consensual even tho theres a 20 year age gap lmao
  • hana no mizo shiro- its takarai riihito so gorgeous art ofc!!! and the story is rly angst but rly sweet and absolutely consensual no doubt whatsoever =u=

bUT YEA THESE ARE MY FAVES I CAN READ THEM OVER AND OVER ESP KURAYAMI AND SLOW STARTER THOSE ARE JUST MMHHHMMMMMM

Bias vs the rest
  • *group member does something cute or sexy*
  • Me: AWEE u lil shit i love you can i marry you and have ur babies then marry u again and have more babies
  • *bias does something cute or sexy*
  • Me: What the fucking fuck who do you think you are u alien walrus soggy cheeto lookin ass get away from me I will set you on fire
Celebrating Larry Masterposts: 2013 Boyfriends

Celebrating Larry Masterposts: Part 4

At the time it felt like there weren’t that many cute moments on the Take Me Home Tour but I’M HERE TO PROVE THAT WRONG BC THESE LIL SHITS WERE AS EMBARRASSING AS EVER ON THIS TOUR AND IT WAS WONDERFUL

i’m only here for harry gripping louis by the shoulder and whispering in his ear

Keep reading