get at me i dare you

ENTP to any Introverted Type

ENTP: *scootches chair over* heyyyyyyy

ENTP: *continues to get closer* heyyyyyyYYYY

Ixxx: ….

ENTP: Why you no talk to me

Ixxx: ….

ENTP: hey

Ixxx: ….

ENTP: Well imma keep talking until you say something

ENTP:….

ENTP: You ever heard about the theory that we can’t understand other dimensions simply because we haven’t send them? Like, if we saw the fourth dimension, we could probably understand all dimensions! I mean it’s kinda hard to fathom, but-

Ixxx: *is more intensely quiet*

ENTP: Did you hear about that time that someone dared me to lick peanut butter off of my friend’s sock?

Ixxx: ….

ENTP: What type of music do you like????? I honestly prefer-

Ixxx: *slight stare*

ENTP: K, well what do you do in your free time??

Ixxx: …. I like to read books.

ENTP: no wAY ME TOO!!!! What type of books do you like?!? Sci-Fi? Fantasy? Romance??

Ixxx: *pulls out book*

ENTP: NO WAY I READ THAT TOO!!!! Such a shame that the main character was so horribly underwritten, I mean, they could’ve done so much more!

Ixxx:…you think so too?

ENTP: Yes!!!! Hey, if you like that book, you should read this one! You can borrow it if you want!

Ixxx: That would be nice. Thanks.

ENTP: No problem! If you ever need a new book, I know how to break into the library so you can read them for free

Ixxx: …isn’t that what libraries do anyway?

ENTP: *whispers*That’s what the government wants you to think….

Ixxx: *smiles slightly at the dork*

Aaaaand that’s how the ENTP makes friends. Annoy them into submission.

anonymous asked:

Bigender Jeff?

i’m down for this

  • on girl days, when she’s uncomfortable changing in the middle of the locker room, PBG makes sure she doesn’t get caught changing in one of the bathroom stalls (since she’s not allowed to)
  • GALAXY PRINT SKIRTS
  • in fact just glitter everywhere. he discovers cosmetic glitter & it’s a mess. all of caddy’s clothes are lightly coated in glitter bc it gets all over their dorm room. he looks like jared for god’s sake
  • jeff & paul are doing a public debate for the student council election & somebody in the audience shouts something transphobic at jeff during paul’s turn. paul spends the next ten minutes GOING OFF on them & defending jeff’s honor. no one dares to stop him bc once that boy gets going you can’t shut him up. once he finally calms down he’s just like, “yeah……….. so……… vote for me i guess. what were we talking about, again?”
  • his character for D&D group is nb & was a big part of easing himself into telling everybody
  • someone tells her she plays like a girl “haha thanks i know!!”
Celeste: Let's 'effin go, mate!
  • Celeste: Fight me Moss Man, I'm tired of your pickiness when it comes to my Japanese.
  • Genji: Bring it Shorty, get good or get reckt
  • Aria: My money is on Celeste : holds up money:
  • Vilna: Genji no.
  • Celeste: S-Shorty!? : Enraged:
  • Genji: laughing his ass off:
  • Gabriel: …: Smoking a cigarette: $5 on Celeste
  • Vilna: ...I can’t decide…
  • Aria: chants Fight, Fight, Fight
  • Celeste: You and your stupid homework, I’m gonna shove it down your throat, mate!
  • Genji: How about you turn in your homework on time, hm and then we can discuss that?
  • Celeste: :gasp: How dare you...how dare you and your dyed green carrot top wanna be as--
  • Vilna: Woah Celeste...woah.
  • Genji: …Come again? : crosses arms: Say that to my face...oh wait..you can’t you’re too short...lemme get you a stool.
  • Celeste: :takes off heels: I’m gonna fu-- :about to throw shoes at Genji:
  • Aria: C-Celeste don’t throw your shoes! Those are expensive!!
  • Vilna: Wait are those my shoes?
  • Celeste: … :Looks at shoes:...You know what I’m not sure…

I just need Consular.

I just need to get Deemz through the class story.

God help me I don’t want to play Consular. You all keep saying it’s great it’s fantastic how dare I whine about it, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GOING TO SLAP HOLIDAY SO HARD SHE SPINS HER HOLOGRAM ASS INTO THE CENTER OF THE DAMN PLANET AND I’M GONNA SHAKE THARAN UNTIL HE STOPS SOUNDING LIKE A POMPOUS ASS AND OH MY GOD I’M STILL NEUTRAL SWEET BABY JESUS OUTLAW GROW A SPINE AND GO DARK SIDE YOU FREAKING PANSY

y'all were joking that Sombra would reveal the gay characters, but that might be true af, because like she said in her origins video, she finds people’s weakness. During a match she could provoke the other characters by threatning to hurt their loved ones, and the way they reply can easily tell how much they care for their supposed lover.
Just imagine.

Sombra: “That omnic monk might be useful to have under my control. I can easily hack him.”
Genji: “I won’t let you harm my master.”

Sombra: “It would be such a pity if Mercy’s valkyrie suit just happened to malfuction middair *giggle*”
Pharah: “Don’t you dare./While I’m here nothing bad will happen to her.”

Sombra: “In a blink of an eye, I can get rid of Tracer.”
Widowmaker: “Back away. She is my target.”

Sombra: *talking to Roadhog* “Let me try to find a picture of what your real face looks like.”
Junkrat: “Oi, leave my big lug alone.”

Me Watching Yuri on Ice: The Journey

Episode 1-2: Ahah, yet another fanservice sports anime 

Episode 3: ……this warms my heart for some reason also high budget lips 

Episode 4: WHY IS THIS SO PAINFUL TO WATCH 

Episode 5: ( ( ( P T E RO DA C TY L N O I S E ) ) ) 

Episode 6: SON YOU NEED TO STO— 

Episode 7: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????!!!! 

Episode 8: GET A GODDAMN ROOM I SWEAR TO GOD— 

Episode 9:  *brain.exe has stopped functioning*

okay, but jokes aside round and golden must be— 

Episode 10: AN ACTUAL PAIR OF GOLDEN RINGS I THOUGHT IT WAS A POTATO 

Episode 11: i didn’t sign up for this shit how dare you 

Episode 12: when i die, please put this on my grave, throw flowers at it everyday, make blood offerings and worship this fine piece of art for 12 generations, heck this will be written in my will and none of you gonna convince me otherwise

My Name Is Cow: Masterpost(?)

(The first few stanzas covered by i-ddpej here.)

my name is Cow,
and wen its nite,
or wen the moon
is shiyning brite,
and all the men
haf gon to bed -
i stay up late.

i lik the bred.

my name is Dog,
and wen its tea,
i hope they giv
sum foode to me -
i hope they shair
befor its gon -
they never do.

i dont get non.

my name is Cow,
and this is tru -
my caynine frend,
its up to yu.
so just be brayve
and smart insted -
and be like me.

i lik the bred.

(Bridge, dividing original content from fan content: First Of All How Dare You)

my name is Cat
no cares have i
be it sun or moone
that lytes the sky
by night i prowl
by day i stretch
i salute u, Cow

u bold old wretch

O clevr Cat
Who roams the barn
I promys you
I men no harm
As yor a friend
With stelthy tred
I invyte you

To lik sum bred.

I am the bred
With yeast I ryse
Mine amber crust
Doth pleas thyn eys

The cow and cat
Whos tongues delit
Upon my crust
Both noon and nite

Are easy stop’d
By dor and slat
Perhaps the baker
Noes not that?

  • Person A and B are in the kitchen. Person A is a small muffin, B is slightly taller.
  • Person A: *struggling to retrieve items from top shelf*
  • Person B: Do you need me to get it for you?
  • Person A: *gasps* HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE VERTICALLY CHALLENGED!
  • Person B: *laughs*...okay then
  • Person A (Moments later...): *defeated sigh* help meeee
  • Harry: GINNY!!
  • Ginny: What?
  • Harry: Where's the Sword of Gryffindor?
  • Ginny: What?!
  • Harry: Where. Is. The. Sword. Of. Gryffindor??
  • Ginny: I, uh, put it away.
  • Harry: Where?
  • Ginny: WHY do you need to know??
  • Harry: I need it!
  • Ginny: Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no daring-do! We've been planning this dinner for two months!
  • Harry: The Wizarding World is in danger!
  • Ginny: My evening is in danger!
  • Harry: You tell me where my sword is, Ginny! We are talking about the greater good!
  • Ginny: "Greater good?" I am your wife! I am the greatest good you are ever gonna get!
5

Cas: I can’t believe I’m married to this human.
Dean: I dare you to talk shit about my husband in front of me. I’m the only one who gets the right to be mad at my husband, right babe?
Sam: Can you see the stuff I’ve got to put up with?

Seijou Players as Things That Have Been Said in my Workplace

Oikawa: Look, I’m not gonna say it was aliens. Because that should go without saying. I’m just gonna say, maybe use the side door for awhile.

Iwaizumi: Is there anyone here who DIDN’T google how to do their job??

Hanamaki: (Talking to a tray of burnt cookies) How dare you. How dare all of you. What kind of disrespect-

Matsukawa: Actually I was hired for my impeccable jazz hands, the memes were just a bonus.

Yahaba: Hey, I’m super ahead of schedule, so I’m just gonna go have an existential crisis real quick. I’ll be back in like thirty minutes.

Kyoutani: I took this job because I wanted to avoid people. Leave me alone with my bread.

Watari: Can you get that bag of flour down for me? I’d do it myself but it’s literally bigger than me. And above me. I don’t want to go to the hospital before lunch.

Kindaichi: I like to think I have realistic goals. I want to suck less. I don’t have to not suck at all. Just… less.

Kunimi: (Hand bleeding profusely) Goddammit it is too early for this. I’m getting coffee and a bandage IN THAT ORDER.

trippster890  asked:

I just want to say that your drink mix posts inspired me and two of my friends to go to 5 guys and try combinations until we literally couldn't continue. I have to say that Sprite 2 was by far my favorite, and Brown Sprite was a close second. Also, Cursed Beverage should never have been created, how dare you. Thank you for being the cause of one of the most entertaining afternoons and please don't stop making drink mix posts!!!

I tried “Acrid Citrus Requiem” today at Jack in the Box

I took one sip and couldn’t handle this. This shit was just way too intense for me. I had to dump it out and when I tried to put regular rootbeer in that cup? Fuck dude, the entire cup was just tasting like orange. i couldnt get any drink to taste normal again after being tainted by the acrid citrus requiem

Anime Filler Episodes
  • Literally every anime: -has a filler episode-
  • me: that was cute, I can't wait to get back to the main story though
  • yuri on ice: -has episode 10-
  • me: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY RIGHT NOW?! HOW DO YOU BREATHE AGAIN?? I NEED OXYGEN!! SWEET PRECIOUS METALS ARE THOSE GOLD RINGS?!?! YUURI DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE- FUCK ME YOU DID IT!!!! I WASN'T READY I WASN'T FUCKING READY GODDAMMIT
  • IM ACTUALLY HYPERVENTILATING. GIVE ME SOME ROOM GODDAMMIT. -insert pterodactyl noises- NEW INSTAGRAM PHOTOS!!! FUCK IT UP YUURI YAAAS BITCH WERK THAT POLE WITH THEM KATSUDON THUNDER THIGHS YAS BITCH WORK IT!!!!!!!!
It seems like Victor enjoys Yuuri's reaction when he's getting a liiittle too close for comfort to Yuuri?????

But after a while Yuuri would be so used it wouldn’t phase him at all

Victor: *taking Yuuri’s face and hand in his hands* Let’s get to know each other a little better
Yuuri: Victor Nikiforov. I know the exact location, shape, and size of the freckle on the underside of your left asscheek. What more is there to know?


Victor: *walks into the kitchen completely naked except for skates on* ♫oh yuuuuuuuuuuriiiii♫
Yuuri: *rolling his eyes* Jesus Victor. Phichit, Chris, Yurio, and Beka will be here for dinner any minute. Now unless you want me to burn this food you’ll go back to our room and get dressed immediately
Victor: *grumbling and sighing* ….i don’t even know why they’re coming…it’s just Chris’s birthday. geez..
Yuuri: *yelling down the hall* AND DONT YOU DARE SCRAPE UP THIS WOOD FLOOR WE JUST GOT REDONE BY DRAGGING YOUR FEET


Victor: can you show it to me soon Yuuri?? Can you show me your true eros???
Yuuri: I have like 4 times in the past 2 hours but if you wanna go again… *starts pulling his shirt off* alright then


Victor: *comes up behind him and grabs his waist* well good morning my sexy little katsudon
Yuuri: *turns around and whispers in Victor’s ear* you haven’t brushed your teeth yet have you?????


Victor: Yuuri, do you have any suggestons? Something that would excite me?
Yuuri: *grins slyly*
Victor: What did you think just now?
Yuuri:  well, quite a few things *whispers in his ear*
Victor: *blushes like mad* and… y-you would wear the-
Yuuri: al. ready. wearing. it.

me: I hate the way the writers are pushing this toxic, unhealthy relationship down our throats and treating my favorite character like shit

the straights™ : it’s just a TV show lol get over it 

me: Lena Luthor is a lesbian 

the straights™ : HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT CHARACTER IS GAY #STRAIGHTERASURE

me: 

i want to say, as a catholic born-and-raised and loves-jesus-amen sort of girl… i am irrevocably here for you, no matter what faith you come from. i believe we are all seeing god through different glasses; he’s got a big garden and i’m sure there’s more than one gate to get into it.

for all of you out there who are wondering if your family is going to be safe, who are worried that if you leave for a family emergency you’ll never be allowed to come back, who are labelled terrorists despite all common sense; for all of you who dared be born on another continent: i’m praying for you and that the tide turns the way it should, that the waves bring you back home. you belong here, beside me, and i am one of those who will stand up and fight for you to come home to us, in this country of many gods.

for all of you who are out there watching nazis sweep into our government, who are watching the pasts of their families become suddenly more relevant, who have to listen while hand-wringers debate if a call to genocide is as evil as a swift punch to the face - who have to watch their friends say i wouldn’t fight for you, i’m too in love with my own peace; who have to watch the grey-morality of bystanders turn the other cheek - i’m here for you. and i am praying.

my christian girls and my queer lovers of the bible, like me, who struggle with our sexuality and our faith, who are watching it thrown back into our faces, who are hearing a man use our god to torture our brothers and sisters into heterosexuality, who are threatened with prison for daring to take control of their bodies, who are watching the church suffocate - i am praying that god knows we love him and feels the same.

and for those of you who are agnostic or atheist or just unsure. it’s okay. i don’t divide the line anyway. i believe in science as an expression of god (what else could the big bang be, anyway), and i love you for your faith. religion is becoming more dangerous every day. a weapon or a burden. and i’m asking you, please, don’t just write off our names. read, make opinions. learn about what the religions really have to say. muslim isn’t a bad word. catholics aren’t evil. jewish people are just like you (Einstein in particular). and keep fighting. breathe science into every corner of this earth, because we need that right now. the only answer to lies is objective truth. don’t let him get to you.

we are one nation, indivisible. 

he will not divide us.

╰◈╮PROTECTIVE SENTENCE STARTERS.

“ Where do you think you’re going? “
” I really don’t want you hanging out with them. “
” Where have you been all night? “
” I think it would be a good idea to get tracking devices. “
” I’m putting cameras up all around the house for security. “
” Don’t leave the house with the pocket knife or mase. “
” I think we should get some better security. “
” I’m going to get us a dog for security purposes. “
” You really need to find better friends. “
” I don’t think your friends are really your friends. “
” Okay, call me as soon as you get there. “
” Don’t you dare text and drive! “
” Please don’t text while you’re driving. “
” Is that outfit really appropriate? “
” I think we should go shopping for your new clothes. “
” He careful when you go to walk down the steps. “
” Always knock before going inside. “
” You have the emergency contact list right? “
” Are you skipping school again? You know I’m going to give you a talk. “
” I don’t want you going anywhere with those people. “
” You aren’t aloud out past ten, you know that. “
” Hey, I don’t make the rules around here. “
” You should probably stay home with us tonight. “
” Why don’t you stay home and have some family time? “
” You missed family game night for that? “
” That’s the second time tonight you missed family game night? “
” I can’t believe you’re dissing us for your fake friends. “
” Hey, why don’t you come out and socialize with your family? “
” Look, I’m just worried about you is all. “
” You don’t want me to take you to school? “
” Where are you going? I can give you a ride. “
” You’re not allowed to go out without one of your brothers or sisters. “
” You can go as long as your brother/sister can go too. “
” I put double locks on all the windows in the house. “
” I think we should move to a nicer neighborhood. “
” I do not want you out driving at night. “
” I dont want anyone out while the storm is coming. “
” Remember to stay indoors when the storm comes. “
” We need to go over our fire escape route again. “
” You aren’t supposed to shower during storms, dear. “
” Are you feeling okay? Want me to draw you a bath? “
” You’re sick, just stay home today and rest. “
” I don’t want you to be home alone. “
” Would you like to come to work with me today? “
” Why haven’t you answered any of my calls or texts? “
” You do not ignore me like that again. “
” I can’t believe I’ve been up all night worried sick! “
” No, you could get alcohol poison. “
” I don’t want anyone drinking in this house. “
” What happened to all that money I gave you? “
10

… while an unhelpful boyfriend member offers no support…

And just when I think it’s OTP heaven…

OT3 makes its appearance!

What can Jun-kun and all the rest of us do but join in the merriment?

└ According to Sakurai Sho, the first thing Jun does upon waking is…

*cough* And how might you have known that Sho-kun? *cough* *cough*.

Cr: VS Arashi 17.11.2016 Opening Talk