get a fake id

anonymous asked:

fun fact! i lost my virginity when i was 15 to my teacher..??? i didn't know it was my teacher until school actually started. so ig u can't blame me. i had a fake id so i went to a bar getting lit by myself. and we just fucked outside in the park next to the bar. it was uncomfortable for a little bit it was EXHILARATING. anyways it was awkward the rest of the school year.

that’s hilarious but also don’t get in trouble friend

Be My Boyfriend

[ao3]

“Dean, be my boyfriend!” Castiel hissed.

Dean’s attention was pulled away from Charlie (who snorted into her drink) when Castiel grabbed his arm.

“Uh,” Dean said, feeling like he was missing out on some vital information. Castiel’s wide eyes were a little too bright and his cheeks were flushed with pink, indicating that he was probably a little bit drunk, though that still didn’t help clear up the situation.

“Come here!” Castiel dragged Dean by the arm across the crowded room until they stood in front of a short brunette who Dean thought was named Meg. Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist and squeezed him to his side.

“I told you!” he told Meg triumphantly. “I have a boyfriend!”

Meg looked Dean up and down incredulously. “You’re dating Dean Winchester?”

Starting to catch on, Dean put a possessive arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “Yeah, he is. Got a problem with that?”

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Last night I cried because the days were speeding up –
When did the space between sunrise and sunset
become shorter than a breath?
-
Just yesterday I was thirteen, pasting black liner around my eyes
and emphasizing the exclamation mark between panic and the disco;
each month felt like a decade, each new year a miracle.
-
Today my girlfriend’s two-year visa runs out;
I remember when she got it, wrapped in shiny silver packaging,
just yesterday.
When we went out to celebrate, I held my breath as I surrendered a fake ID.
Today I don’t even get carded.
-
I type this on an old laptop with a cracked and bleeding screen,
which was once a “coming soon” fantasy on the Apple website.
-
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if the days got better as they sped up,
but I’ve started to measure time by the rocks in my stomach,
the weights on my shoulders,
and the laugh lines around my mouth, which are now just lines.
They are the only thing that change.
-
Already, a week has passed since I started to write this poem
on the back of an old bookstore receipt.
The receipt is dated from six months ago,
although I bought that book
just yesterday.
—  Just Yesterday, When We Were Young
Good Girl CH 1: Tequila and Bad Decisions

Chapter 2, CH 3CH 4, CH 5. CH 6, CH 7, CH 8, CH 9, CH 10, CH 11, CH 12 CH 13, CH 14, CH 15, CH 16, CH 17, CH 18, CH 19, CH 20, CH 21, CH 22, CH 23, CH 24, CH 25

I scan the crowd of both Asians and Americans but regardless of races I can say confidently that they are all pretty shady. My eyes go to my grinning friend Jihyo, who has somehow convinced me to come to a very nice club that just happens to be crawling with creeps. Some of her other friends had told her how amazing the club, EXO, was but seem to forget that you have to either look really slutty or really rich to get in. That is how I ended up having to take off my jacket and stockings and now have to stand in line in the freezing cold in nothing but a tight leather skirt and one of Jihyo’s crop tops that could pass for a bra. She is in a similar skimpy out fit, but she is actually wearing her only pair of shorts like that which meant I had to wear the skirt.

“How much longer?” I groan as I begin jogging in place, something I found easy in her five-inch heels.

She rolls her fake green eyes at me, “We haven’t been waiting that long.”

“It’s been an hour. What are they waiting for?” I glance down the line toward the closed doors.

“I thought you didn’t wanna come?” She teases with a confident grin.

I scoff at her, “I still don’t, it just happens to be better than freezing my ass off out here.”

“Maybe if you go shake it up there we can get in.” She gestures to the large bouncer standing outside the main door.

“Fuck that, I would much rather fuck Hoseok to get in,” Jihyo grins at the mention of her friend that works in the club and also happens to have a massive crush on me.

“Would you please? I offered but he didn’t believe me that you would follow threw.”

I glare at her, “You offered what?”

“Your precious virginity,” She grins at me evilly.

“Ugh don’t say stuff like that.”

She continues to tease me, “What, can’t handle the truth that you’re a 17 year old virgin?”

“Not all of us can be lucky enough to lose their virginity in a school bathroom when we were 14,” I snap back. She just grins at my mean words. “I can’t believe that you offered my virginity to some guy to get into a club,” I pause as I rethink my words, “That’s a lie, I expect nothing less from you.”

“I learned my bitchiness from you.”

“I’m giving this place five more minutes than I’m leaving, with or without you.”

She fakes hurt, “You would leave me to get drunk at a club by myself?”

“Yes, what will you do without someone to take care of your drunken self?” I pat the younger girl’s head.

Just then the doors to the club opened and the bouncer starts weeding through the people lined up in front of him. I’m not surprised when lots of the guys or undeniably less attractive girls start getting denied and pushed out of the line as others get to go inside. When it’s our turn to be checked out, again, I’m not surprised when the bouncer waves us in without as much of a glance at the fake IDs we worked hard to get, though I understand why. Jihyo is an undeniable beauty with her long raven locks and perfect doll like face. With the body of a fitness goddess and legs for miles, I have always envied her 5’6 height. Standing at a small 5 foot but thankfully 5’5 in heels, I’m still dwarfed next to the beautiful girl. Though I won’t admit it out loud I’m quiet a looker myself.

Being from a Korean father and a mother who is a mutt herself I was lucky enough to inherit some very good qualities from different races. The nice curves and wavy locks that I received from my dark skinned mom seem to fit my cat like eyes I got for my dad. Though I also got my short height from my dad’s side of the family too. My hair is a blend of them, giving me perfect loose, black waves that hang daintily against my back.

“Jooyoung!” Jihyo brings me out of my thoughts to have me gawk at the massive club with her. The bar is to the left; circle booths line two of the other walls while the huge DJ booth takes up most of the other wall. Lights flash as the music blares through the massive speakers making it hard to hear what Ji is trying to say to me. Realizing that I can’t hear a word she is saying she just nods her head in direction of the bar. I follow, our hands locked together to make sure we don’t loose each other in the thick crowd. Once we reach the bar Ji manages to find an empty stool that she quickly places me on. She stands close behind me, her hands resting on the bar, locking me in and all the others out. Even though I’m older Ji is taller and a little bit bigger than me, something that has made her a little over protective, though I don’t really need it in places like this. Even though she is always the one bringing me to them and the trouble along with her.

“Four shots of tequila!” She yells to the hot bartender, who grins at us. Farther down behind the bar we see none other than Hoseok busy mixing drinks and flirting with customers. So different from his normal cutesy self, he seems so much hotter with his hair pushed back and a sly smirk on his face.

“Damn,” I accidently say out loud. Ji follows my eyes and grins. That grin stays as the bartender places the four shots in front of us. Giving me two and keeping two for her self, Ji raises the first one and holds it up to me expectantly. I hold my little glass to hers’.

“To getting drunk!” She clinks our glasses and moves to drink but stops as I begin downing mine, “And to getting layed!” With that she does hers’ in one go like me. We both slam the shot glass back down on the counter, grimacing as the awful liquid burns its way down our throats. I glare at her little add in to our toast.

“I’ll sleep with someone when I want to!”

“Who said it was for you? I need some fun too, it’s been way to long.” She teases as she rests her head on my shoulder, grabbing her other shot and, again, holding it up to mine. “How about to you just doing something that will get you out of your funk and make you that happy go lucky girl I met in elementary?”

I give her a soft smile, clinking our glasses and down the shot. “Four more!”

“That’s what I’m talking about!”

“I’m so going to regret this in the morning.”

“Oh shut up, when was the last time you got actually drunk? You are the best person to be around when your drunk, you’re just so cute and friendly.”

“I turn into a child. That’s not how I want to be in a public area with creepy guys all over the place.”

“You’re a step a head of most since those killer instincts seem to keep working threw your buzz. I wouldn’t question anything if Freddy Kruger himself came up and offered me a ride home. But you, you can see threw the best con man after downing a bottle of tequila.”

“It’s a gift.”

“One of few,” She tease as she holds up a shot, “To me becoming a better judge of character and to you becoming more careless. I’m tired of being the only one walking up in a stranger’s bed.”

As more and more shots are downed and things wrong with my life are listed I have never been so grateful but so annoyed with this girl at the same time. She is the only person I share anything with, the only person who even somewhat knows what’s going on in the mess I call my head. But as she stands there telling me all the things I should be worried about or work on I get kind of angry. After having enough shots for now, I pull the tall girl to the dance floor with me, hoping to shut her pretty mouth up. We dance like there is no tomorrow, forgetting all that is troubling us; actually I seem to be the only one with troubles.

As hours fly by of dancing and more shots here and there my mind begins to fog. I stop caring about the unknown hands that grope me, too focused on my high and the music. My feet are numb and my legs feel like jello but I some how continue to stay on my feet. Jihyo is a grinning mess in front of me, twirling around and stumbling every few minutes. It has been along time since I’ve felt this good, this free, like nothing could ever hold me back. Jihyo would have usually abandoned me by this time and I would take that as an okay to find a way home but not tonight. I am no one’s babysitter tonight!

Suddenly the crowd starts moving toward the DJ stand, they all huddle, trying to see something that must be pretty interesting. Being the nosy girl she is, Ji tries to drag me along with the rest of the crowd to find out what is going on. I try to pull her away from the gawking people, knowing whatever it is, it can’t be good.

Running away isn’t a possibility with Ji trying to pull me the other way and the crowd pulling me as a whole. As my instincts scream at me to run, the sound of gunshots can heard above the music. The pull of the crowd towards the noise is gone as people try to avoid the bullets that are flying in every direction. My eyes scan the crowd, seeing at least a dozen people on the floor either crying out for help or already dead. Blood covers the almost empty dance floor. Without another thought I start dragging Jihyo to the bathroom as the rest of the crowd breaks out in a panic as they all drunkenly scramble to the front door. Some how through my very drunken state I’m able to maneuver Jihyo and myself through the small bathroom window, out into the empty alleyway. The cold nips at my cheeks as the wind blows it’s freezing air around us.

Jihyo lands on her butt, “Ya! That hurt!” She whines loudly.

“Shut up you idiot!” I scan the alley for anyone else who exited the club, finding a van waiting. On the other side of a massive garbage bin the back door to the club busts open. A long line of extremely attractive guys strut out, the last one, who is taller than the rest, has something large, and strangely human shaped, hanging over his shoulder. I slam Jihyo and myself up against the wall and pry that they don’t see us. To be completely honest, I couldn’t careless about my own safety but Jihyo has so much to live for, I don’t want to risk her life.

“Joo-ah!” She calls out drunkenly, drawing the attention of the last of the men.

God dammit you dumb bitch! I love you, but you dumb bitch! I scream in my head as I hear their footsteps coming our way. In a desperate moment I whisper an apology as I punch her across the face, knocking the drunk girl out easily. Quickly I throw the stray trash bags on top of her, hiding her from who ever is coming. I’m crouching down next to where I’m hiding her, behind the garbage bin when someone comes rushing down the alley way on my side. The person stops when he sees the group of men coming his way. I can easily see the terror on the poor man’s face as he reaches one of the over hanging lights just a few feet away from me.

My heart stops when another gunshot rings out in the alley. I watch as the man drops to his knees, clutching his stomach his eyes drift away from his killers to me. The anxiety building up in my chest almost bursts when the gun fires again, this time hitting the man’s forehead, making him collapse, his eyes never leaving mine. But as if my heart knows what is to come it pounds harder than I’ve ever felt it before, as the footsteps continue toward us.

The suspense of them finding me begins to annoy me. My chest is hurting from the tightness of my anxiety and my thighs don’t appreciate being stuck in a low wall sit for this long. But it finally happens. A man dressed in all black stands over the body for a minute before crouching down and going through his pockets. He pulls out the dead man’s wallet and flips it open, automatically finding something that makes him sigh.

“Poor bastard had a family. What a shame, should watch wear he wanders.” The man mumbles to himself, dropping the wallet on the man’s chest. I debate on whether I’m a horrible person or not for not busting out in tears at the fact an innocent man was just murdered in front of me and that I could possibly next. The low amount of empathy I normally have for people seems to have reached an all time low when I realize how I feel absolutely nothing for the dead man in front of me.

But instead I study the killer. He looks young, but from the way he carries himself I feel as if he must be older. In a nice suit, which was obviously made for him, he is extremely handsome. The uncaring expression on his child like face tells me this is something he has done many times before, something that should disturb me more than is does. Just as he is about to stand up he pauses, his eyes not really focused on anything. I resist the urge to scream as he tilts his head and his cat like eyes find me. “Hello there baby girl,” The cat man purrs with a threating yet attractive smile.

Mickey "The shitty Boyfriend" Milkovich

Mickey and ian have known each other there whole life.

Mickey was there for ian the first time monica showed up. He was there to make him realize Kash was taking advantage of him. He was there for ian when ian wanted to go to military school. When ian was studying his geometry shit. When he didn’t get into military school because they gave the scholarship to lip. When he was taking away by CPS. He gave him advice about being in the groups home. Gave him a place to stay so he wouldn’t have to stay in the group home. He was there when ian left. He went after him, to look for him. He got him off the side walked where he had just been drugged and molested. He took him home. He gave him his bed to sleep it off. HE GAVE HIM A BLOW JOB WHENEVER HE WANTED IF IT MEANT IAN WOULD STAY. he came out for ian. In front of his dad. He went and look for help when he didn’t know why ian didn’t want to get out of bed. He never once gave up on ian when fiona, lip and everyone wanted to take him to a ward. He was go8ng to take care ohf him. He her us. Ian was fucking family. He gave ian a home. He let ian take care of the child ian swore to love so much. He didn’t get mad when ian LITERALLY STOLE HIS BABY. He went to look for ian. To bail him out. He understood what was going wasn’t ian fault, that he couldn’t help it. He took ian to the get help. He was there first thing the other day when visiting hours started. He went back to ian, even tho he realized thing were going to be harder now. He jumped on top of an army officer when they were gonna take ian away. He went after ian AGAIN when he ran away with monica. He pour his guts out to ian, said he loved him and ian broke up with him. He risked getting caught by the police just to see ian one more time. He told ian his plans. He said you “should come” ONCE. He never repeated ian going to Mexico, the complete opposite actually, he kept saying “tell me goodbye”, “this goodbye?”

I’m so tired of the mickey hate I keep seeing. People saying his a shitty ex, forcing ian. Saying he doesn’t care about ians dreams and future. That’s bullshit. Ian’s a grown ass man. He made the decision to go with mickey. He had a choice. He made that choice. HE WANTED TO GO. Mickey didn’t take him away from anything. Ian isn’t getting a fake ID or passport. He is still ian gallagher the EMT. He can get a job where ever the fuck he likes. Mickey is not a shitty ex. He won’t “set a match to ians life” maybe he might give it a little more purpose. Ian himself said he hasn’t felt that thrill again. Not with anyone. If you think mickey is a shitty ex or is wrong for ian or destructive or whatever, you must be watching a different show. And if there relationship was destructive, (AFTER SEASON 3)it wasn’t on mickey’s part

x files fic: under the stars (minimal fate required)

or: ways mulder and scully could’ve been happy

for @leiascully‘s challenge: list sort of

01.

The X-Files are never shut down and Scully is never abducted.

They fall into a comfortable rhythm of partnership: an incredible solve rate, an easy repertoire. (He never convinces her to believe in aliens, and she never convinces him not to.) They start spending time together outside of work - getting drinks, watching movies over long-abandoned paperwork. It’s at least two and a half years before Mulder realizes that she is his best friend. (Even over the Gunmen, he thinks about telling her, but how would that go down? They don’t say things like that to each other. She’s only ever called him Fox once, and he’s called her Dana a total of six times before she asked him to stop; what kind of friends are they?)

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anonymous asked:

I want some more background on the hermit crabs mustard, chicken nugget, and the other one

i am here to provide

  • jake gets a fake id the summer of his freshman year in high school so he can buy a pet bc he’s generally the only person in the house and he’s lonely
  • but he’s like super busy with all the extracurricular activities he does so he needs a pretty lowkey pet and he’s walking towards the fish area when he sees them
  • and as soon as he sees the bin of hermit crabs he knows what he’s going home with and he only planned on getting one but when he pressed his face to the glass three kinda moved towards him and he loses his damn mind bc it MUST be fate
  • so he ends up going home with his new buddies and literally no money bc he spent it all on getting them the best shit the store had to offer
  • he rushes to set everything up and just. stares at them for a soild two hours he’s so amazed at their existence and then he remebers he has to name them and he’s a dumbass so he just does whatever comes to his mind first
  • homerun is the smallest one and she’s kinda grumpy. mustard is really fast and always does this thing that looks like she’s dancing. chicken nugget is kinda a mystery, like if he had hair he’d have an emo fringe.
  • and he loves them so much whenever he has to introduce himself he’s like “HI I’M JAKE DILLINGER AND I HAVE HERMIT CRABS”
  • he does his homework with them. eats dinner with them. watches tv with them. basically he always has at least one of them on his shoulder when he’s home. 
  • he tells him everything, like be out with his friends and someone will do something stupid and he’s legit like “yo i cant wait to tell the kids about this”
  • it’s literally so pure and his whole friend group sources the way jake talks abt his pets as one of the cutest things ever
  • one time he and rich are playing video games and they pass out and jake wakes up to rich screaming bc mustard is in his pants
  • he and michael bond over pets bc michael has a shit ton of reptiles like they r always sending pictures of their pets to each other and buying each other dumb shit they see like jake buys micahel an eraser set where they r shaped like lizards and michael gets jake this hat that’s just a giant shell (he wears it all the fucking time it’s So Much djjndsk)
  • anyways jake loves his hermit crab kids and would do anything for them
Into the Lion’s Den

@thecoffeestudyblr

Hey! I was hoping I could have a Sam!Sister request where the Reader helps Charlie hack into Dick’s computer and they both get caught by Dick and Sam gets really worried and protective since the Reader is really shy and anxious and then he and Dean goes and saves them? Charlie and The Reader really hit it off since they both love Hermione Granger and comic con? Lots of angst and fluff?

Thank you so much to @thecoffeestudyblr for being super awesome and i hope you like it.

Originally posted by the-roadgoeson


Sitting in the cabin with both your brothers you started to get anxious, you three had been on the run for a while and it was hard on all or you. But it’s what you guys had to do to stay out of Dick’s radar. Suddenly you hear Sam’s laptop beep, Sam walks over to it.

“Huh, it’s from Frank.” 

“Franks still alive? I thought he’d be dead by now.” You say walking over to him,

“Winchesters,  if you’re reading this, I’m dead… or worse. This e-mail was sent because some prince is trying to hack into my hard drive right this second. So unless it’s you, you got trouble.” Sam looks up at you and Dean before continuing, “ My drive is full of compromising info. Your new aliases, hangouts, where you stored your car..”

“Baby, they know where Baby is.” Dean says giving you guys a scared look,

“Dean we have other things to worry about, like the fact that Dick now knows all of your guy’s information.” Grabbing the computer from Sam you start clicking around on it, 

“Really, just take it out of my hands why don’t you,” Sam says throwing a fit,

“Oh calm down, I’m trying to figure out where Frank’s drive is.” You say clicking on some more stuff,

“Really you can do that?” Sam asks you,

“Of course I can big brother, I’m amazing. Ah hah, found it! Oh, Frank’s drive is at Richard Roman Enterprises.” 

“Perfect It’s in the middle of the Death Star.” Dean grumbles 

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Dylan Strome imagine

I read on some puckbunny pages (it’s kinda helpful to find out which dudes are asshole if you want to check it out, i’m not really interested in who’s banging who but more into who treats girls like shit) that Dylan does kind of get around. I don’t know if that’s true but i’m going to assume it is for the sake of this imagine.

800 words

Originally posted by smolsnakeking

You were currently making breakfast in yours and Dylan’s kitchen when said boy made his way into the room.
“Mornin’ ” he mumbled a pressed a kiss against your cheek. He was only clad in boxers and reeked of last night.
“Your hookup staying for breakfast?”
Dylan who was halfway falling asleep on top of you hummed.
“Or do you need me to pretend to be your girlfriend again so she leaves.”
“Nah, last night was great. Might as well give her some bacon for it.”
You sighed and cracked another egg open in the pan. Dylan left to go shower and a few minutes later last night’s puckbunny stumbled out of his bedroom.
“He’s in the shower. If you want you can go join him.”
She stared at you for a moment, obviously ashamed of being seen. After she saw your shirt she loosened up a bit. Dylan had gotten you the shirt a week after you moved in with him. The front said in big bold letters not his girlfriend while the back proclaimed just his roomie. It has become your regular sleep shirt, just in case one of his hook ups walked into you.
The girl looked like she wanted to follow your advice and you sighed.
“Second door to the left. Before you go, how do you like your eggs ”
She turned around and walked towards the bathroom door. Before she disappeared she turned back to you.
“I’m vegan.”
Of course she is.
After an awkward breakfast with double bacon and eggs for you, Ellie or Nellie or something like that left and Dylan threw himself onto the couch. He turned on the tv and leaned back.
“What’s the plan today?”
You put away the last of the dishes and joined him on the couch.
“I’ve got school and then work. You’ve got practice at 5 and at 9 you’ve got a Skype date with McJesus scheduled.”
You liked Connor a lot. You’ve been friends since you were little kids and he was the one that suggested you and Dylan room together because apparently he “trusted Dylan with you” which only made you a little mad. As weirdly depowering it was he also “trusted you with Dylan” so you thought it had to do less with your gender and more with your personality.
Dylan was awesome. He let you live in his spare room rent free and didn’t protest when you started to take over basic tasks all over the place like cleaning the apartment or cooking. He never treated you like you had to do these. His friends sometimes joked about you definitely being the mom friend but they were the same friends that needed your help to do their laundry. You’ve come to find out hockey players are just overgrown children.
You went to your room to change before taking your bag and getting ready to leave for university.
“Bye Dyl-pickle.”
“What? I don’t get a goodbye kiss?”
You walked over to the couch, took his face between your hands, and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“Don’t spend the entire day napping and if you have a puck bunny over…”
He cut you off.
“No sex on any surface that you could come in contact with aka sofa or kitchen, the shower is okay but clean it after and don’t let her use your shampoo. I know the rules Y/N. Now go or you’ll miss class.”
You sighed and walked towards the door.
“I might go out with Y/F/N after work and I need you to be dd for me if I do. I’ll call.”
With that you walked outside. The drive to campus wasn’t long and less than an hour later you plopped down onto the seat Y/F/N saved you. She took one look at you and sighed.
“Rough night?”
You let your head rest on the tiny table in front of you.
“Yeah. Dylan brought home another girl and I swear they were doing it against my wall the entire night.”
“Oh sweetie. You know if you’d just tell him how you feel…”
She pulled you into a hug and you had to hold back tears.
“It’s okay. I told you I’d get over him eventually. Wanna get drunk tonight?”
You weren’t legal in Erie yet but thankfully you’ve got fake IDs.
“You know getting drunk won’t solve anything, right?”
“I know, but tonight I just really really want to hook up with a stranger and get over Dylan.”

#4???

Person A lives in a neglective home and struggles to survive every day. Person B is a runaway and is being chased by cops. Person A often runs away into a forest get away from their life. One day they see Person B at a large oak tree by themselves. They meet up at the tree every day and hang out, they soon become great friends and do a bunch of crazy shit together. (Dropping water balloons on people from the top of buildings, graffiti, egging random houses, teaching how to pickpocket, etc.) However the cops have tracked down Person B and they’re in risk of being taken away. Person A decides that they would rather spend their whole life running from the law with Person B than rotting away in house they dont even get fed in. They both run away together while stealing credit cards for food and getting fake ID’s so they wont get caught. They even poke fun at the cops chasing them with selfies they post on instagram or snapchat. When they finally have the cops of their asses they live normally and Person A thinks they made the best decision in their life when They see Person B waiting for them at the alter. 

anonymous asked:

Valentine's Day prompt: Yuuri and Phichit celebrating Singles Awareness Day during their time in Detroit, preferably with Phichit teasing Yuuri about his crush on Victor.

“Please, don’t make me do this,” Yuuri whines as Phichit dances around their dorm room in just his underwear. 

“Of course you’re doing this,” he sings, shaking his hips in time with the song blasting from the small speakers of his laptop. “You’re not going to let me go alone, are you?”

Yuuri sighs and flops on his bed. “No,” he answers. He should have known Phichit was going to guilt-trip him into this. He should have pretended to have a date for Valentine’s just so he could send Phichit on his way and have the whole dorm to himself for the night. 

But no. Of course not. Phichit, thoroughly single (by choice! He can hear Phichit yell), decided last week that they were both going to be celebrating Singles Awareness Day. 

Yuuri doesn’t care if he’s single. Prefers it, even, if it means not having to go through all the hassle of getting ready for Valentines. But now he’s going through the trouble, the effort, of getting ready to go out on Valentine’s Day anyway. 

“Remind me why we’re doing this again,” Yuuri asks as Phichit dabs concealer under his eyes in the mirror. 

“Because we’re single and proud,” Phichit answers back quickly. 

Yuuri scratches delicately at an itchy spot on his eyelid, trying so hard to avoid smudging the mascara Phichit put on him earlier. Single, yes. Yuuri’s been ‘single’ his whole life. He’s never found a reason, or the right person, to take on as a lover. Proud? Well, Yuuri’s not upset he’s single, if that’s what Phichit means. He doesn’t care if he’s alone at night. It’s less stressful than having to worry about another person besides himself. 

Phichit is also single - has been for a couple weeks now. But he seems to have more luck in the romance department than Yuuri, although their strict training schedule doesn’t allow for much extracurricular time in which to date. Proud to be single? Yuuri’s not sure. He’s making a fuss of it tonight, but it’s probably a case of ‘protesting too much’. 

“So what are we supposed to be doing tonight, besides bringing awareness to how single we are?” Yuuri asks. 

Phichit rolls his eyes before carefully sweeping on some winged eyeliner over a light dusting of gold eyeshadow. (He’s done it every morning since Yuuri and he first started rooming together, so the move is practiced, producing a clean, black line that Yuuri is jealous of. ) “We’re going to bring awareness to the other people there how single we are.”

“I’m not really looking for a one-night stand.” Yuuri huffs. 

“Well, I am.” Phichit says, glancing over at his friend in the mirror. He wastes no time in finishing off his other eye. 

“Then can’t I just stay here?” Yuuri asks. It’s going to be awkward watching Phichit head home with someone tonight while he makes the lonely trek home by himself. 

“And what, moon over your Victor Nikiforov posters?” Phichit teases. 

Yuuri glances over to the embarrassing amount of posters he has of the skater tacked up around his bed. Okay, well, maybe that was his plan tonight. Maybe he’d been hoping to spend a couple hours daydreaming about what his idol was doing tonight. Or what he’d do if he was there with Yuuri.

“I’ve lost him!” Phichit cries when he sees the glazed look on Yuuri’s face. He grabs jeans from the floor, sniffing them to make sure they’re alright before pulling them on. He’s not sure if who’s they are, but they sure are tight around his thighs. 

“I just think I could be more productive here,” Yuuri complains, watching as Phichit struggles into the tight pants. 

“Productive? You mean you’d be jerking off to posters of Victor Nikiforov.” Phichit doesn’t hold back. 

“URGH,” Yuuri responds, flipping him off. It may the truth, but it’s hard to hear, even coming from his best friend. 

“Okay, well, what if Victor’s at the bar?” Phichit asks. 

Yuuri scoffs. “He’s not. He just posted an instagram pictures from St. Petersburg a few hours ago.”

Phichit rolls his eyes again. “Well, just imagine he might be, okay? Wouldn’t you want to go out and meet him? You’ll never meet him, or anyone else for that matter, just hiding away in your room.”

Yuuri sighs, but Phichit’s right. Even if he’s not looking, he can’t just skip out on life by hiding away and staring at his posters. “Okay,” he concedes, “I’ll go.”

“Fantastic,” Phichit says, pulling on a clean black tshirt with a very deep v-neck, “because I’m ready.”

“Finally,” Yuuri mutters, sliding off the bed, fixing his own v-neck shirt and grabbing his wallet off the desk. 


Yuuri’s barely legal and Phichit has a fake ID to get him through the club doors (it also helps he’s got a cute face to smooth the way). 

The ID, although the picture shows a caucasian male named ‘Kyle’, has never brought Phichit any trouble. Yuuri’s hoping one day that it will fail and they’ll have to go home early. 

But tonight won’t be that night. All the clubs in the University area are looking to attract single, desperate people to fill their dance floors. It’s ridiculously loud inside and Yuuri almost turns around and goes right back out, but Phichit’s got a death grip on his wrist. 

“Two vodka seven’s,” Phichit calls over the bar after he pushes his way to the front. 

There are far too many people in here, especially for Valentine’s day. Phichit’s at least nice enough to find them a secluded corner where Yuuri feels a little more relaxed. 

“So, which one do you think I should go for?” Phichit asks, sipping his drink and eyeing the crowd. 

“Are you asking which gender, or did you have a couple people in mind?” Yuuri asks. 

“Not picky tonight,” Phichit shrugs. “As long as they find me attractive, it doesn’t matter.”

“Well, there’s at girl over by the dj,” Yuuri nods to her with his chin. 

Phichit looks her over, but doesn’t seem too impressed. “I’m pretty sure I dated her friend? Crystal?” He says. 

That’s not something Phichit needs to get tangled up in again, so Yuuri moves on to the next person. There’s a cute red-head by the bar, but Phichit vetos them as well for no other reason than their shirt is ‘too blue’. Yuuri thinks it’s more of a turquoise colour, honestly.

They both scan the crowd again. Yuuri’s happy to be Phichit’s wingman as long as his own single-status doesn’t come into play. 

“Oh my god, Yuuri - look!” Phichit elbows him after a couple minutes, almost making him spill his drink. 

“What?” Yuuri asks, looking up. But he immediately knows what Phichit’s talking about. There’s a tall lean figure leaning against the bar with gorgeous silver hair. His first thought is: Victor? Could he really be here, in Detroit, in the same bar Yuuri’s at?

But he dismisses it quickly - the man at the bar has long hair and Victor cut his short over a year ago. 

The man turns in their direction and Yuuri doesn’t actually mind his face. It’s obviously not his idol, but he isn’t that bad looking either. 

“Wooooow,” Phichit whistles. “Yuuri, you gotta go ask for his name. Maybe he’s related to him or something.”

“Not a chance,” he says, although the person’s build and hair are strikingly similar to Victor Nikiforov’s. 

“Go!” Phichit nudges, looking excited for Yuuri. 

Yuuri hesitates only for a brief second before downing his drink and then weaving his way in between people towards the bar where the man still is. He runs a hand through his hair, gelled mostly into place by Phichit, to make sure he’s presentable. 

“Hi,” he says when he’s close enough. 

The man turns around at his voice. He takes a long, slow look up and down Yuuri’s body, showing interest. 

“I’m here celebrating Singles Awareness Day,” he says, not believing that this kind of pickup line is actually coming out of his mouth. “What about you?”

“Hmmm, I suppose I’m celebrating that too,” the man says, licking his bottom lip. 

“I’m Yuuri,” he introduces himself. “Maybe we can celebrate it together.”

“Felix,” the man purrs, leaning in to whisper his name next to Yuuri’s ear. “Can I buy you a drink?” He offers and Yuuri accepts. Phichit’s giving Yuuri thumbs up from their corner. 

They end up making out on the dance floor for a solid hour. Yuuri’s pretty buzzed by that point, having let Felix buy him a couple more drinks and a shot or two. His lips feel nice against Yuuri’s. 

Phichit’s already texted that he’ll find his own way home and that he wishes Yuuri ‘good luck’ with Felix.

Felix is good. Nice. Not horrible. Handsome. He should be everything Yuuri wants. And he’s attracted to Yuuri too, it seems. He can’t go wrong here. But still, somehow, he can’t help but compare him to Victor. And he just pales next to the figure skater. 

He tries to remind himself the Victor Nikiforov is just some personality put on by the media - that he isn’t actually what Yuuri daydreams him as. He’s not the suave, playboy type he’s portrayed as in magazines. He’s probably not as handsome in person either. And he’s probably an asshole.

Felix is real. And he’s right here in front of Yuuri, giving him the kiss of his life. 

Yuuri tries to tell himself that settling for someone that looks like Victor isn’t really settling at all. It’s probably better in the long-run. 


“Ah, Single’s Awareness Day. What a great name,” Phichit says when he stumbles into their dorm at 10am the next morning. He looks disheveled, but happy. 

“Urgh,” Yuuri agrees, rolling over and covering his eyes. He tries to will away his headache. 

another random fahc headcanon:

a lot of Ryan’s reputation as the Vagabond is worse than he actually is. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still one of the best mercenaries there is. But he isn’t nearly as cold hearted and destructive as rumors have him out to be. It takes a while for the rest of the crew to understand this though.

When Ryan first joined up, all they saw was the Vagabond. Ryan’s carefully constructed act that was created to protect himself through intimidation. He hardly talked, loomed over everyone, and made sure they all knew of the several weapons he has on him at any point in time. But he finds that he really likes everyone in the crew and slowly starts putting his guard down. Which catches everyone off guard. The first time Ryan cracks a joke over the comms in a heist everyone looses their shit.

And so Ryan starts being more comfortable and the others start learning what a huge dork he truly is. But they can’t help themselves with being cautious still, theres still all the rumors surrounding him. How he once took out an entire cities police force, how he once chopped up a body and left the remains scattered about in his own fucked up scavenger hunt, how he killed old partners of his just because he could. The stories grow worse from there and the crew never want to confront him on it. Until of course Gavin does.

Gavin makes an offhand comment about some rumor of Ryan taking the right hands off of every person he kills and Ryan just looks over at Gavin with such a confused look its almost cute. “Why the fuck would I do that? I don’t need decomposing souvenirs, I just need to get as far away as possible as soon as possible before the body gets found, taking the right hands would take too much time.”

Then everyone starts asking about other rumors about him, finding his reputation really is much worse than reality. (“No I did not kill an entire police force, that would be a waste of time and just get the FBI more on my ass.” “I need to confirm kills, you cant do that as well if you chop up the body and leave it everywhere.” “no my facepaint is not made out of blood where did you even hear that one?”).

Ryan admits that he’s fully aware that the stories and rumors about him are there and admits he spread some of his own back when he was starting in this life. It kept him protected if people were too afraid to go after him. Even if it meant everyone was too afraid to even talk to him. Except this crazy crew of course.

The crew make it a game to find the craziest rumors and ask Ryan about them. So far the only rumor they’ve never gotten an answer from though is the one that he’s killed past partners…

what the actual heLL. DAN FREAKIN FRACKIN SMITH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DOES HE KNOW WHAT HES DOING? WHAT IS HE EVEN SINGING? BASTILLE SONGS ARE MAINLY ABOJT DEATH. WHY IS HE CHANNELING HIS INNER JASON DERULO. IM CRYING. HMITWWWCIYWIFHCICBAIYHIFHCICG.

Seventeen as Things I've Heard at School
  • S.Coups: Get your hands out of his shirt!That's a little too much bromance over there. ~said by a teacher
  • Jeonghan: Have you ever had a wet dream about a horse?
  • Joshua: Come on! We have to hurry up and recite the exorcism spell before class starts!
  • Jun: Tienes un amigo <em>especial</em>? ;)
  • Hoshi: Are you sure you're not an emo furry?
  • Wonwoo: I can say I want to die in 9 other languages.
  • Woozi: Son of a nutcracker
  • Dokyeom: I can say I like cheese in 9 other languages...
  • Mingyu: CAN I BE A GAY DAD IN OUR NEXT PLAY??
  • The8: GUYS I FOUND LOCKER NUMBER 666 COME LOOK!! *pulls friends out of class just to show a locker number*
  • Seungkwan: IF HE'S A GAY DAD, CAN I BE THE GAY COACH THAT EVENTUALLY FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM??
  • Vernon: Yeah, you guys can fall in love in our next play, just don't do anything inappropriate that'll get me fired.
  • Dino: This ID is about as fake as a giraffe.

anonymous asked:

Hi could you please do a Connor Murphy x reader smut. About how Connor and reader go to a bar and get hammered then do it in the bathroom? Thank you! ❤️😁

Fake ID (Connor M. X Reader)

a/n: holy shit balls this is my first smut ever. i need to go drown myself in holy water now. also, sorry i’m taking so long on all of my requests guys!

w/c: 768

“Are you sure these will work?” You worried once again, glancing at your fake ID.

“Jesus Christ, yes, now act like you’re 21.” Connor mumbled, stepping up in line and handing the guard his ID. The guard nodded and handed him his ID back, checking yours out next. He glanced at you suspiciously, sighing and letting you in.

“Holy shit, that worked?” Connor laughed, grabbing your hand.

“Wait, what?” You questioned. “You didn’t know if they were going to work?”

“Hell no! I only said that to make you relax.” Connor smirked and kissed your cheek, pulling you towards the bar. The club was dim, the only lights being the disco ball, glow sticks, and LED lights at the bar. The music was pounding, making the whole building vibrate to the bass.

“Let’s try not to get alcohol poisoning, yeah?” You laughed as Connor ordered two rounds of shots. Connor shrugged and smiled, clinking his shot glass to yours. You both counted down to three and quickly downed the shot. You scrunched up your face and coughed, which made Connor laugh.

“Next round!” Connor yelled, reaching for his next shot. He handed you yours, and you clinked glasses once again. You downed the shot, not reacting the same way you did before. Not too long after, you and Connor were slurring and giggling really hard.

“Hey, you wanna go dance?” Connor slurred, giggling and pulling you towards the dance floor. You nodded and giggled, moving your hips to the music in a slightly seductive way. Connor danced with you, eventually ending up grinding on you. Connor aggressively spun you around and smashed his lips onto yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth and groping you.

You pulled away from the kiss, a string of spit connecting you two. Connor grumbled and yanked you off the dance floor, stumbling towards the bathrooms. You laughed loudly and tripped a few times, letting him pull you. Connor slammed the door open and called out, checking if anybody was in there. When nobody replied he smirked and locked the door, shoving you against the sinks. You gasped as he eagerly yanked your pants down and dropped them to the floor.

“Eager?” You giggled, ripping Connor’s shirt off. You scanned his chest, noticing how he wasn’t ripped, and that he had a few freckles scattered around his chest. He had a bit of chub, which was normal for a boy his age. You still thought he was the most beautiful person ever.

“Shut up.” Connor growled, yanking your panties down to your knees. You kept giggling as you worked on undoing Connor’s pants.

“Fuckin’ hurry,” Connor groaned, getting impatient and tugging down his pants and boxers at the same time. Your eyes widened as the rest of your boyfriend sprung free. You were both sobering up just a bit, but still drunk on lust.

“Are you sure you want this, Connor?” You whispered, gently reaching forward and touching his length. Connor gasped and nodded, pulling a condom out of his pants that were on the floor. Connor reached forward and slid your shirt off, slowly undoing your bra afterwards. He handed you the condom and let you slowly slide it on. Connor awkwardly propped you up onto the sink, positioning himself. You noticed how he slowly became nervous and hesitant with his actions.

“Uh, are you ready?” Connor mumbled, turning red. You nodded and leaned forward, kissing Connor to reassure him. Connor gently slid into you, making you gasp loudly. He didn’t move for a few seconds, letting you adjust. You nodded and Connor started to slowly rock back and forth in a rhythm, slowly getting faster.

You felt a knot in your stomach and knew you wouldn’t last long. Connor moaned and you knew he wouldn’t last long either. You whimpered as you both finished at the same time, and Connor backed up, his knees shaky.

“Wow,” Connor whispered, tossing the condom into the trash.

“Yeah, that was, wow.” You laughed, hopping off the sink and kissing Connor gently. Your legs ached, and you had to pee.

“Hey!! Are you almost done?! Some people actually have to use the restroom!” A voice yelled through the door, making you and Connor giggle and get dressed.

taiyyosheart  asked:

Sooooo how does Viktor get by without an ID?? Does he have fake ones to travel and sneak around undercover? XD

Ah, he has an ID :D
A FAKE ONE, YEAH!
It’s just something he has for travel and stuff like that, yeah :3
Plus, he owns a house and everything, so, just regular stuff XD
Is good, so that way if anyone tries to look him up, he doesn’t just…not exist XD

my favorite throwaway line in the weirdmageddon trilogy is when the time cops show up and bill just “just play it cool! ditch the time punch, let me do the talking!” because it implies one of three things

1. at least one of the henchmaniacs isn’t like. old enough to drink? or allowed to legally? like fuckin’ “remember, 27 of your faces are minors, creature with 98 faces, and teeth, you’re not legally allowed to drink since the incident, so if the cops show up, tell ‘em we’re clean, okay?”

2. that time punch isn’t booze but it’s like some really strong illegal drug or something, which is funny because imagine getting arrested because you were using something called time punch. idk the name just cracks me up

3. bill isn’t old enough to drink. bill cipher, inter-dimensional nightmare, dream demon, breaker of minds…  needs a fake id to get into a bar in the nightmare realm. “i’d use his molecules to salt my margarita if i could…” yeah, sure, and he’d need pyronica or kryptos to buy that margarita for him in the first place