gerti

I got this neat idea a while ago for a piece in honor of the Jungle Movie coming out this November and I’ve finally completed it! It’s my thank you to such a wonderful show. It’s helped me a lot in many ways, and I’m super excited for the movie we’ve all been waiting for for so long. 

EDIT: fixed a couple things, mainly I hadn’t realized I had blocked a good portion of Nadine’s face lol

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B99 + Adoption AU: in which Raymond and Kevin adopt Jake as a baby.

Raising Jacob isn’t easy. 

When they finally bring him home (once all the paperwork is approved, several months after Raymond found him abandoned at a crime scene), Jacob crawls over to Cheddar’s bowl and chokes on a dog biscuit. Kevin is frantically trying to explain the situation to a 911 dispatcher when his husband calmly announces he’s successfully performed the Heimlich maneuver. The moment of panic over, Jacob babbles loudly, grins, and places a slobbery hand on Raymond’s face. 

When he enters 4th grade (at the private school Kevin had chosen for its exemplary curriculum, prime student-to-faculty ratio, and exquisite lunch program; and Raymond had chosen for its safe and secure environment), Jacob is sent to the principal’s office for punching Keith Pembroke in the face. Initially, his fathers are confused because he had always been excellent at responding to bullies – they had made sure to brief him on what he might hear, being the adopted son of two gay men. When they find out he had reacted to a slur Keith had used against another student, and when the administrators still insist on punishing Jacob for his actions, Raymond and Kevin gladly move their child to a nearby public school.

When he first gets his heart broken (on the day of his bar mitzvah, which Raymond and Kevin had dedicated a year planning for), Jacob locks himself in a closet and cries for over an hour. Raymond is offended their hard work went unappreciated, but Kevin ignores his complaints and instead knocks on the door and gently coaxes Jacob to let him in. After another 15 minutes of sobbing against his father’s shoulder, he croaks out a semi-coherent explanation involving Jenny Gildenhorn, Eddie Fung, and stupid love songs. Kevin cheers him up by making his favorite breakfast for dinner and recounting the greatest love stories in Greek mythology. 

When he arrests a perp for the first time (after spending every summer at CSI camp, joining the junior police program, and finally completing his academy training), Jacob pays his fathers a visit in his newly acquired secondhand Mustang. Kevin is appalled he made such an impulsive purchase, especially after everything they had taught him about saving money. Raymond tries to hold back tears of pride as Jacob points out the dent that formed when he had thrown the guy against the car.

When he falls in love for realz (with his partner, Amy Santiago – and honestly, Raymond had seen this coming since eight-year-old Jacob started pulling her pigtails at CSI Camp), Jacob’s fear of commitment almost screws up their relationship. Kevin had always been the one to help him navigate his girl and boy issues, but this time, Raymond sits him down and tells him about how they first got Gertie. It’s a story Jacob has heard once or twice before, but it still pushes him to sell the crappy Mustang they had been fighting about and purchase a brand new, fuel-efficient, crash-tested (and interestingly) family-friendly car. 

Raising Jacob isn’t easy, but hot damn, it sure is worth it. 

→ inspired by Influence by VivaRocksteady / @tallycola 

Shout out to @elsaclack@cassianperalta, and @peraltiagoisland for the help!!! ♡♡♡

B99 Themed Ask

joke peralta - what is your favorite joke or episode of b99?

pineapples - do you have any nicknames?

amy - how organized are you?

santiago - favorite font?

ames - what is your myers briggs personality type?

rosa - are you a pessimist, optimist, or realist?

ro-ro - name 3 things that make you happy.

emily goldfinch - what do strangers usually think about you?

charles boyle - how clumsy/prone to injury are you?

captain holt - are you a good leader?

raymond - tell us about something petty you’ve done.

BONE?!!!??! - who was right about the monty hall problem?

gina - have you ever gotten any stitches or broken bones?

kwazy kupcakes - what is your favorite app?

dancy reagan - are you a good dancer?

terry jeffords - do you like kids?

minivan dad - tell a dad joke.

terry’s reading glasses - do you wear glasses?

peraltiago - do you enjoy the will they/won’t they dynamic in tv shows?

dianetti - what do you hope happens this season of b99?

pimento - who/what do you hate?

CJ - what’s the most expensive frivolous purchase you’ve made?

cheddar - do you have any pets?

coral palms - have you ever been to florida?

the hiatus™ - are you looking forward to anything?

the pontiac bandit - who is your favorite character in b99?

gertie - do you have any worthless objects that mean a lot to you?

sexarella - have you ever lost or broken something important?

nikolaj - what was your favorite toy as a kid?

teddy (from jazz brunch) - are you the life of the party or the party pooper?

hitchcock and scully - what is the weirdest thing you’ve eaten?

Having a bad day?

Here’s a quick and easy pick-me-up.  Just think about…

-Douglas doing something clever and sorting out each and every mess that the MJN crew gets into.

-Martin diverting because Arthur was sad about the cat in the hold.

-Arthur teaching the whole crew about the simple joy of tossing an apple back and forth.

-Martin going out of his way to deliver a bottle of brown sauce to Douglas for his anniversary, and then being the bigger man and not exposing Douglas’s actual rank in front of his wife.

-Douglas paying 75 Euro for Arthur’s ‘mainly chocolate thing’ just to make him happy.

-Arthur throwing the ‘mainly chocolate thing’ in Ruth’s face and valiantly defending Carolyn.

-Carolyn actually being rather sweet to the paranoid bassoonist.

-Douglas carrying Martin out of the smoke-filled fuselage.

-Carolyn carrying Arthur out of the smoke-filled fuselage.

-The crew indulging Arthur and finally playing charades with him.

-Douglas and Martin going to rather extreme lengths to give Arthur a fantastic airborne Christmas.

-Douglas and Arthur helping Martin sort out the piano move.

-Everyone being so proud of Martin landing GERTI after the terrifying bird strike.

-Martin and Douglas’ unabashed and vengeful glee as they get back at Gordon Shappey for hurting Arthur and Carolyn.

-Arthur and Douglas hanging out in the airport bar swigging pineapple juice.

-Arthur taking such good care of Martin’s mum.

-Carolyn and Douglas giving Simon what-for and making Martin feel like he is on top of the world.

-Carolyn’s huge show of character development as she basically says ‘who cares about the money, we have to go surprise Martin and pick him up from his big interview.’

-The MJN crew being a true family to one another.

“Douglas, where is my hat?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea, Captain.”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I know the fandot’s still reeling a little bit from Yverdon-les-Bains but chin up, Cabin Crew, all is not lost! Trust in John Finnemore to see MJN through and trust in your fellow members of the fandot to write, draw, create, toss apples, and spot yellow cars in the mean time. ^_^

So, Happy Valentine’s Day, Cabin Crew!

MJN Air logo used with kind permission of taggianto (blog | signatures | Redbubble).

🌟old movies renamed🌟
  • <b> rear window: the boy who cried murder<p/><b>an american in paris:</b> i guess we should add some singing to all of these dance numbers<p/><b>the philadelphia story:</b> i want you back, i want you back🎵<p/><b>how to steal a million:</b> gullibility and sarcasm fall in love and steal a dinky statue<p/><b>cabaret:</b> drag and scandalous dances in WWII<p/><b>the sound of music:</b> where a kid can be a kid (and fucking sing like a normal child)<p/><b>bringing up baby:</b> can we keep him? please?<p/><b>seven brides for seven brothers:</b> abduction cause its romantic<p/><b>singing in the rain:</b> good morning🍊🎵there are 16 oranges in every tropicana pure premiu-<p/><b>it's a wonderful life:</b> a cute old man fixes jimmy stewart's many problems<p/><b>the shop around the corner:</b> we're better staying pen pals than actually dating<p/><b>breakfast at tiffany's:</b> she's lowkey a psycho but it's all about love and cats anyway<p/><b>roman holiday:</b> tomboy princess takes a day off and then has to face reality again<p/><b>star!:</b> gertie get your shit together<p/><b>my fair lady:</b> men are snobs and the english have a social system based on speech<p/><b>sabrina:</b> you got hurt and couldn't go on dates with me so i dated your brother instead<p/><b>thoroughly modern millie:</b> everyone is extra and there are white people who play asian people and horrible sex trafficking but it's okay because carol channing<p/><b>west side story:</b> why the fuck do you love him after he literally murdered your brother oh well he died so who cares anyway<p/><b>harvey:</b> polite and innocent man is a bit loopy so everyone tries to lock him up<p/><b>gone with the wind:</b> you don't love me?!?! but you gotta, i guess i'll marry all of the south to make you jealous<p/><b>casablanca:</b> paris and kids being looked at<p/><b>the african queen:</b> oh we almost died but we didn't so let's kiss and build a torpedo from scratch<p/><b>on golden pond:</b> where everyone won best actor/actress and 74 year old katharine hepburn did her own fucking stunts<p/><b>annie get your gun:</b> frank butler is a fucking selfish wienie<p/><b>lawrence of arabia:</b> nice, noble man goes crazy over the course of 4 hours<p/><b>the wizard of oz:</b> everything magical and good in the world is a hoax, kids<p/><b>cinderella:</b> cinderelly, cinderelly, we're woodland creatures providing comical pastime<p/><b>snow white:</b> practice makes perfect, disney, because this movie was on drugs<p/><b>sleeping beauty:</b> let's take a story about rape and make it for kids but then add unrealistic body types<p/><b>gold finger:</b> look it's the german villain from chitty chitty bang bang in a bond movie<p/><b>chitty chitty bang bang:</b> this movie was also on drugs but it's still great<p/><b>funny face:</b> audrey and fred in france<p/><b>🌟i love all these movies so much so don't get your panties in a wad it's a joke:</b> <p/></p>
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Completely flabbergasted he went to ask his wife for advice, who was just attending a private concert in Georgana Willett’s bedroom.

When the door flew open (severely bisecting Rabea Cormac) and Dr Robertson marched in with a baby, local gossip was immediately ablaze.