I went to the doctor today because of a cold which I was convinced had turned into a sinus infection that was eating into my brain. (Seriously, people, the bone separating your nasal cavity from your brain is a thin one. This aspect of human development was clearly not well thought out. The bone separating your brain from your snot should be a thick one! I’m just sayin’.)
Anyhoo, my new doctor starts stressing the importance of clearing out your nasal passages by putting water up your nose. I told her that we have a name for this - f*cking drowning.
She goes on to tell me that it’s perfectly safe and makes you feel so much better. She then grabs a sinus rinse squeeze bottle and does a treatment on herself to demonstrate how safe it is.
OH. MY. GAWD.
Boogers, debris, and I think a small German made automobile came flying out of her nose. When I paid for the visit, I made sure that I was not charged a service fee to see that mess come out of her nose.
I think this whole “try to drown yourself via a sinus rinse” and “oh look what just came out of my nose” thing is an acquired taste.
On this day in 1875 the famed automotive engineer Ferdinand Porsche was born in Mattersdorf, Austria-Hungary. From an early age Porsche demonstrated a keen interest and great skill in technology, and soon landed a job in an electrical company. In 1897 he built an electric wheel-hub motor which garnered significant attention after being featured at the 1900 World’s Fair in Paris. Some of his career highlights before 1931 included building the first gas-electric hybrid car and working for Mercedes-Benz. In this time he also briefly served in the army and acted as chauffeur to Archduke Franz Ferdinand whose assassination in 1914 sparked the First World War. In 1931 Porsche founded his own company - the company that carries his name which is still famous today for its cars. Throughout the 1930s and 1940s Porsche, by then a German citizen, sympathised with the Nazi Party and eventually became a member of both the party and its paramilitary wing the SS. It was Porsche who was charged by Adolf Hitler with designing and building the ‘people’s car’ (Volkswagen), and from these efforts came the Volkswagen Beetle. Porsche’s company was also involved in the Nazi war effort by designing and building state of the art tanks for the German army. After the end of the war Porsche was arrested and jailed by the French as a war criminal but his son kept the company going and they soon unveiled the new Porsche sports car. Ferdinand Porsche died in Stuttgart, Germany on January 30th 1951 at the age of 75, but his company lives on and remains one of the most sought-after car brands.
The Rolls Royce Dawn isn’t the only luxury four seat convertible that we’ve had in the office; Mercedes also dropped off an S500 Cabriolet. It may not be quite as opulent as the Roller but it proved perfect for swanning around in the sun.
Pull up to the gym in a German automobile an watch the heads turn. WTH, I wasn’t expecting you to be… sshh
Has taken my sight
Taken my speech
Taken my hearing
Taken my arms
Taken my legs
Taken my soul
Left me with life in hell