Eu passo grande parte do meu dia tentando esconder metade dos meus sentimentos. No fundo eu tenho medo que descubram que por trás dessa proteção toda, existe alguém capaz de sentir. Tenho medo que em algum momento alguém descubra como me atacar e acabe me machucando. Tenho medo que, em algum descuido, eu me deixe levar e acabe abrindo meu coração novamente e deixando a mostra o que tenho de melhor e de mais sincero. Porque por trás dessa proteção toda existe um coração machucado que não resistirá a mais um ataque. E é exatamente por isso, que eu venho tentando esconder esses sentimentos que estão crescendo em mim. Já fui machucada o suficiente para saber que não posso mais confiar em ninguém, a não ser em mim mesma.
So I just came back from an insanely incredible talent show and I was literally blown away by the sheer amount of talent these people have. Each and every one of them made me smile or gasp from them showcasing themselves in a creative way. There was some singers, musicians, dancers, freestylers, and poets. One of the poets spoke about friendship. And this is one that made me cry.
Because it was so honest about how thankful she was for these people in her life and how her friendship with these people had so much love that’s so so deep and true. And it just made me think of all the people I’ve met here that have filled my life with so much happiness since I’ve known them. Because I don’t trust or befriend super easily, not really, so it makes me feel so good to know that I know you. The people who I want to meet in person. The people who’s laughter and smiles mean the world to me. Who’s hopes and dreams I want to come true. Who I know are deserving of so much good in this world and I want nothing more than to see them succeed in life and in what makes them happy. Who’s presence has made me a better person. And I am so grateful for the person I have become since knowing you because you’ve each made a difference in who I am. And I want to thank you for your kindness and your friendship, and that individual bit of you that you share with me and with others. I am beyond grateful that you have come into my life and I am so thankful for each and every one of you.
that was never the start of something good. especially when it came from chris’ mouth. sometimes it was okay, like adding barbecue sauce on pizza and trying something new or even moving the mattress down to the living room for a game night. other times, that statement lead to tie-dying tee-shirts and splattering paint on each other instead and geo-caching at 3 AM in the sketchiest places in jersey
but this night, you two could finally notch a tally in the “something good” category.
chris took the inflatable kiddie pool, meant for your nephews when they came over, and blew it up as much as possible. you assumed he would fill it with water and leave it, but instead, he filled it with blankets and put it in the actual in-ground pool you two had. he climbed in, and then you followed behind.
you two floated in the large in-ground pool while cuddling with blankets in the kiddie pool, and you two talked and watched the sunset fade into the night sky and full of stars.
“i want to get away,” chris sang along to the hum of the lenny kravtiz tune. “i want to flyyyy away.”
“don’t you mean float?”
chris cleared his throat. “i want to get away.. i want to floatttt away.”