A Little Confused.
Hey guys, just a little gender ambiguity post from yours truly.
So, I’m a biological girl, eighteen years old, thinking a lot about gender and sex and orientation and things of that nature, and honestly, I’m not sure where I fit.
I’ll get straight to the heart of the matter and work from there.
I have a strange relationship with my vagina. Now, let me explain. You know that friend on facebook that you’ve chatted with once or twice, but haven’t actually seen face-to-face in a long while, so you’re not even sure where you two stand, but you’d never say it to that person? That’s kind of what I’m dealing with in relation to my vagina. I feel like it’s a part of me, yeah, but…I don’t know. I feel like it’s not really a part of my body. I feel like it’s someone else’s or something. I love my boobs, though, so I don’t feel like I’m trapped in the “wrong body” as some people put it. I don’t even know if I want a penis instead of a vagina. I just sometimes feel like because I have this weird almost fear of my vagina that I’m not cut out to be a woman a lot of the time, and because of that, I bind and pack and pretend to be a boy for a day so I can pretend I’m not afraid of my own body. I consider the possibility of being Agender, and just not wanting anything down there, but then I think of sex and question how much I’d really like not having anything to work with down there. It’s all very confusing, and while I’m not feeling like it’s an urgent problem, I still feel like I should really talk to someone about it, like my therapist I’m not currently seeing due to money problems. I’d like to tell my mom that I’d like to see her again (which she said I could if something happened), but I’m worried about telling her my situation. That’s just awkward. "Mom and Dad, I’m afraid of my vagina. Can I see my therapist, please?“ So, what do you guys think? Any words of advice or comments or questions?