gender socialisation

Stopping girl hate doesn’t mean you have to like or get along with every other woman. It just means you don’t tear women down for being women. It means you let go of your internalised misogyny, envy, and jealousy of other women. It means not using gender based insults to undermine other women. It means you don’t push other women under the bus for men. It means you stop holding other women to the arbitrary and restrictive gender roles you’ve been socialised into. 

I saw a little girl today who was absolutely riveted by the life in the rotting seaweed around the harbour. I love seeing these little moments, because it takes me back to some of my first experiences as a ‘young naturalist’ of sorts.

I was nearby, photographing and identifying pollinators: I was just about to go over and ask her what she had found…

Both of us had our moments shattered, however, as her mother started screaming at her about getting her clothes dirty. Unfortunately, I also have memories of moments like these, where the female obligation to be decorative trumped my right to be fascinated and curious about the world around me.

She immediately started crying when he parents took her by the arm and led her away.

For those of you who are parents or caregivers, think of what is means to prioritise a child’s appearance over her learning and interests. It’s not fair to socialise girls this way: it breeds self-consciousness, insecurity, and I’m absolutely sure has a direct link to why girls and women are under-represented in the sciences. 

  • radfem: humans are shaped by their experiences, and therefore someone raised with the privileges of a man will be shaped by that and will not ever fully understand what it is like to be born female & to be shaped by the life experiences and forced gender socialisation that being female brings
  • libfem: i cant believe youre reducing women to their genitals

it’s not just a new definition.  it’s not just “please don’t use ‘women’ to mean ‘female people’ any more.  if you want to describe female people, you can say ‘flerb’ or ‘knish’ or ‘grifka’”.  that would be irritating, but possible to work around.

it’s “there is no such thing as ‘female people’.  if you want to describe a certain social experience, say ‘dfab people’.  if you want to describe people with vaginas, say ‘vagina-havers’.  to describe people with uteri, say ‘uterus-havers’.  but you can’t make a new word to replace what you thought ‘woman’ meant.”

it’s “‘woman’ never really meant what you thought it did.  when decades of feminists wrote about women’s rights, they were either

  • not referring to ‘members of the female sex’
  • exclusionary, regressive, hateful, & delusional

feminism is not about the injustices of a sex-caste system.  feminism is not about sex.  there is no sex.  there is no sex-caste system.”

these are the rules of the new sexism:

there is no shared physical experience between “members of the female sex”.  even if there were, it would not be worth describing.

vagina has no relation to uterus has no relation to menstruation has no relation to pregnancy.  these are not part of a system.  they are disjunct, a coincidental ragbag of organs.  they are not worth linking together as part of a “unique but not universal” classification (e.g. “not all female people menstruate, but only female people do”).

to label people as members of a certain sex is reductive & deterministic.  it belittles people.  it prescribes a certain social role.  it is unjust & oppressive to classify sex.

there is no shared social experience between “members of the female sex”.  even if there were, it would not be worth describing.

you do not undergo gendered socialisation: you do not spend your life assimilating the cultural prescriptions imposed upon female sex.  you do not exist as a class of people subordinated by another class.  you have no common interests.  you have no use for solidarity.  there is no such thing as sex-based oppression or systemic exploitation of female reproductive capacities.

to seek to organise as a “female sex class” is unjust & oppressive.  it excludes.  it kills.  it is an expression of supremacy.

Psychologists often find that parents treat baby girls and boys differently, despite an absence of any discernible differences in the babies’ behavior or abilities. One study, for example, found that mothers conversed and interacted more with girl babies and young toddlers, even when they were as young as six months old. This was despite the fact that boys were no less responsive to their mother’s speech and were no more likely to leave their mother’s side. As the authors suggest, this may help girls learn the higher level of social interaction expected of them, and boys the greater independence. Mothers are also more sensitive to changes in facial expressions of happiness when an unfamiliar six-month-old baby is labeled as a girl rather than a boy, suggesting that their gendered expectations affect their perception of babies’ emotions. Gendered expectations also seem to bias mothers’ perception of their infants’ physical abilities. Mothers were shown an adjustable sloping walkway, and asked to estimate the steepness of slope their crawling eleven-month-old child could manage and would attempt. Girls and boys differed in neither crawling ability nor risk taking when it came to testing them on the walkway. But mothers underestimated girls and overestimated boys–both in crawling ability and crawling attempts–meaning that in the real world they might often wrongly think their daughters incapable of performing or attempting some motor feats, and equally erroneously think their sons capable of others. As infants reach the toddler and preschool years, researchers find that mothers talk more to girls than to boys, and that they talk about emotions differently to the two sexes–and in a way that’s consistent with (and sometimes helps to create the truth of) the stereotyped belief that females are the emotion experts.
—  Cordelia Fine, Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference

It’s funny how you realise
you can’t speak
only after you try to prove
that you can

It’s strange to imagine
how you could sleep
while they stole everything
you could be

Hush baby, cry baby,
Not your baby
I feel crazy

I became the crazy ex
Not somebody you invite
to a party

Enslaved to my hormones
restricted by biology
reduced to somebody only
meant to be pretty

xylocept  asked:

I tend to agree with you on most things, but, your views on trans people are mostly based in ignorance.

Your assumption that our views on trans people are based in ignorance is ignorant. You assume that women disagreeing with you must just be silly girls who don’t know what we’re talking about. We do. We have a sound knowledge of gender socialisation, male violence, the history of the concept of gender and the ideological shift from understanding the social roles of women and men as sex roles to the postmodern concept of “gender identity”.

women: make radical feminist tumblrs to discuss radical feminism with each other, form friendships and communities with other women, deepen their understanding of gender socialisation and unlearning cultural misogyny

an inevitable man: *chortling* i’ve Debunked Buzzfeed, Are You Triggered Yet

i hate terfs they’re evil and because of them legitimate issues get taken and twisted by them in their transphobic tirade. stuff like gender socialisation is really important to talk about for various reasons (namely that it fucking sucks the way ppl are conditioned based on assigned gender), but all terfs do is go “trans women are just evil violent men bc socialisation”

the isolated idea of radical feminism is something i’m super about - as per the wiki definition, “a perspective within feminism that calls for a radical reordering of society in which male supremacy is eliminated in all social and economic contexts” - but “radfem” as it exists right now is mostly poisonous anti-trans drivel that is about eradicating trans women and invalidating trans men and its sickening

i hate terfs i hate them theyre evil and the things theyve said have made me turn on myself and doubt myself in the past and i hate them for doing that and i just fucking hate them and i honestly think the world would be a better place if every terf died tomorrow

Pledge for Trans people to use “Transsex” to refer to themselves instead of Transgender because it is similar to Intersex (which is what being trans may be) and we need to distinguish Trans people with sex dysphoria and people who are transitioning from gender roles and socialisation.

The term gender is too infused with socialisation and gender roles. We need to let go of this gender bs. We are not transitioning because of gender (roles), it is to do with being born as the wrong sex.

titoramus  asked:

I never quite understood why gender is changing now. Can you tell me why gender, of all things, is being called a spectrum?

I don’t fully understand it too, but I have a few thoughts.

First of all, gender (and gender socialisation) is a most important part of sex based opression. This is exactly that thing what represents identification with the ruling or oppressed class and assimilation of deep-seated models of behavior of this class.

In our society you can’t be raised just as a human being: you are either a lord or a slave. But the main task of neo-patriarchy (and also pop-feminism) is making people think that it’s not true and everything is okay. For example, women still need to wear makeup, but they can do it in a feminist™ way! “yeah it’s not fair that you need to wear makeup and heels at your work even if you don’t like it, but look! It’s killer heels! And your eyeliner is sharp enough to kill a man! Let’s slay the patriarchy with this red lipstick yea gurl” (approximate quotation of someone’s comment that I’ve seen a while ago)

Same logic goes with gender. It’s a tool of opression too, but we can pretend that it’s not! If it’s not hierarchy, it’s a spectrum, and if you don’t like the way that society treats women, you’re not a woman! (another approximate quotation of someone’s comment that I’ve seen a while ago)

In this way, the situation in our society remains the same. Good old patriarchy, but now in a progressive™ way.

btw fellow radfems feel free to add comments, because I’m not very sure in my responce

lmao when people decide that women choosing careers in fields with lower pay isnt the result of gendered socialisation but their own fault… but the fact that working class men are less educated than women IS the system failing on them and is by no means their own fault… when women fall short its their own fault but when men do society and the toxic rise of feminism is at fault!! ur totally not conditioned to blame women for your problems!! not see through at all!


I’m so bad at posting my own stuff here. Anyway, here are some of my notes for my sociology exam tomorrow and the books I’ve been studying from! I’ve been revising for the last two weeks but, as always, I don’t feel ready at all although topics like gender, migration and socialisation seem quite obvious and easy to come up with even without studying and I’ve been doing this in high school, but I’m a bit worried about the time! It really sucks being so anxious about everything, because when it comes to exams I’m literally going crazy. I’ve been calm until this morning when I woke up earlier with a stomach ache because of stress, eh. Anyway, fingers crossed that I’ll be fine, because in 5 days I’m going home for Christmas and I can’t wait!
Hope you all are having an amazing and productive day!

Statements like “trans women ARE WOMEN” and “it is LITERALLY NEVER EVER okay to use the wrong pronouns” are not those foundational self-evident undeniable grounded facts trans activists think they are. Take that away from them, and they really don’t have anything to respond to us with. I never see any reasoned and responsive argument from them, I just see these statements flagged up again and again, as if they’re cul-de-sacs in this discourse, as if I’ve just argued that pigs can fly and you’re reminding me of that obvious undeniable observation that actually gravity keeps everything tending towards Earth. 

 I have never seen nuanced argument in response to why this ‘feeling’ of gender identity is closer to the truth than the role of gendered socialisation. I’ve never seen even a consideration of the consequences of the erasure of 'she’ having any meaningful definition anymore, if it’s just ANYONE who feels it is appropriate for them. It should describe the group of people who are systematically raped and violently attacked by men; women. Women are treated like this regardless of their 'identity’ and THAT is a fundamental truth.

it rly ticks me off that ppl seem to think radical/gender critical feminists think that your biology should determine how you dress/behave.etc. and call us biological essentialists when it’s really quite the opposite. acknowledging that there is a system in place wherein society sees someone’s biological sex and raises them to the corresponding social role is not an acceptance of that system. we have to acknowledge that biological sex is the basis for gendered socialisation before we can put an end to it. acting like sex isnt a factor and that gender is self-determined is the real “biological essentialism.”

Saying that women who make traditionally feminine choices do so only because of ‘patriarchy’ or ‘socialisation’ is pretty misogynistic.

I’m not saying that social pressures don’t exist. I’m not saying that society doesn’t have gender expectations or that they can’t be a factor in women’s choices. But if you’re saying this is the only factor then you’re pretty much saying that these women are incapable of making their own choices. You’re saying they don’t have minds of their own.

Women who do things which lie outwith our societal expectations are often labelled ‘strong independent women’. And by saying any woman who does traditionally feminine things is only doing so because they have been socialised to do so, or because of ‘patriarchy’, you’re in some ways saying those women are weak and incapable of independent thought. You are removing the power of self determination from those women. You are judging them for the choices they have madeAnd in doing this you’re also inflicting a whole new set of expectations on them.

People on tumblr who insist on acting as if socialisation is some far-fetched concept that doesn’t make sense and is really difficult to understand either haven’t gotten out much or just aren’t very bright. I honestly try not to be a snob about things but this is one of the most basic ideas in social studies and general psychology and sociology classes you take in middle and high school. And even if it’s completely new to you, there is an abundance of resources on the internet you can use to learn about it. It’s really not hard.

Socialisation also lies behind the notions of privilege in social justice discourse, ex.: privileges listed in male privilege checklists say things like “when I fail at something, I can be sure my failure won’t be attributed to my sex.” Like you don’t think that differential treatment comes out of thin air, do you? Social privileges of certain groups of people are replicated through lifelong patterns of socialisation in which some people are treated better than others, and the effects don’t fully disappear even when you’re old enough to know that it’s okay for girls to play sports and for boys to play with dolls. Again, this is a really simple concept.