gender schtuff

Okay look friends

There are a lot of reasons that the “only” non-binary folk you see online are “stupid little girls with their stupid little identities.”

Those “stupid little girls” are right around the ages of 12-16, which is to say, the beginning of adolescence. Psychologists sometimes refer to adolescence as the “discovery phase” of human life, which is to be highly encouraged for proper emotional growth in adulthood. In layman’s terms, questioning and throwing labels around yourself to figure out who you are from the ages of 12-16 is competely normal and healthy behavior.

Then there’s the fact that we live in a patriarchal society, no doubt about it, and this leads to double standards for people who are assigned male at birth (AMAB) and assigned female at birth (AFAB). Generally, it’s a lot easier for AFAB people (i.e. your “stupid little girls”) to explore their gender identity because it is not shameful for a “girl” to have masculine habits, because it makes sense to society on a subconscious level: it’s good to be a man/be masculine, therefore AFAB people with masculine mannerisms are okay for the most part. There are even common terms for these people, often referred to as “tomboys” or simply “one of the guys.”

On the opposite end, however, AMAB people have a harder time with their “discovery phase” because they are frequently discouraged from exploring things like femininity and gender roles. Again, society’s subconscious: being a woman/feminine is bad, therefore, “men” who want to do feminine things or be a little more like stereotypical women are bad.

Those are the main reasons that you’re less likely to see AMAB enbies open about their identities. Because society mostly just brushes off “silly little girls with their silly little identities,” whereas young AMAB folk who want to shave their body hair or wear makeup are immediately perceived in a negative light.

So kindly shut your damn mouths about how the only non-binary people are actually just women. Just shut up. Shut.

Yesterday after our first show there was a Q&A with high school students and one genderfluid kid who was in the audience we ran into when we were on break getting dinner. They said “so you mentioned being nonbinary; what are your pronouns?”
And this ass of a guy in my choir blurts out “HIM.”
Ex-fucking-cuse me
1) they asked me
2) that’s not my fucking pronoun you dickmunching fuckwad.
I said so and he was just like “well /I/ say him.”
Don’t talk to me. Just fucking walk away. Get out of my face. Don’t look at me. Don’t think about me because you’ll use the wrong damn pronouns in your head.