Thought of the day (while reading a “gender marketing” translation with painfully outdated views): I am really, really sick of us only talking about “gender” when women are involved.
A surprising number of important realizations could be made if we develop the habit of talking about gender dynamics even – perhaps especially – in the context of all-male or mostly-male groups.
How does it affect productivity, public image, collaboration, negotiating, client acquisition, etc. to have any group of people involved be entirely men? What effects does this drastic gender imbalance cause in its environment?
LET’S TALK ABOUT GENDER AND MEN, PEOPLE. Gender is not an exclusively female domain.
Me, interviewing the director of basically any film ever: “So let’s talk about the extreme gender imbalance in the casting of this film. What was the thinking behind that? Was there a particular statement you were trying to make, a satirical observation on the politics of society, perhaps? That kind of came out of left field, when we watched the film and all the parts but one were men. Can you tell us a little about the background of that?”
Director: “Um… I didn’t actually consciously think that much abou–”
Me, interrupting: “Come now, don’t be modest! That was a fascinating artistic decision! The drastic disparity between the number of men and the number of women in the film makes it clear to even the most casual viewer that gender is a central theme in this story. Can we delve into that a little bit further?”
This would be a fun tack to take in regard to race, too.
“I noticed something very interesting about your film, which is that every single one of the leading roles is played by a white actor. Clearly there’s some conceptual message you want to communicate with this creative choice. Could you talk about that?”
Model Teddy Quinlivan came out this week as a transgender woman, saying the current political climate inspired her to be public about her gender identity.
Now 23, Teddy says she began her transition at age 16, but has been presenting as a cisgender woman in the fashion world for fear of hurting her career. But a growing number of transgender models have paved the way for inclusion and acceptance in the industry, and she felt the time was right.
The 23-year-old Massachusetts native, who also walked for the likes of Carolina Herrera and Diane Von Furstenberg this week, said she felt “a great sense of urgency” given a recent spate of anti-trans violence, as well as the various ways in which President Donald Trump’s administration has rolled back rights for transgender Americans.
“We made an amazing progression under the Obama administration, and since the new administration took office there’s been a kind of backlash,” she said. “There’s been violence against transgender people ― particularly transgender women of color ― since before I even knew what transgender was. I’m very fortunate to be in [a] position [that] I never really thought I would be. It’s really important to take advantage of a time like this.” […]
“I think one of the ways we can help people in the trans community is to give them a platform,” she told CNN. “The fashion industry dictates what’s in fashion, what’s cool, what’s acceptable. It’s not just about who’s walking fashion shows … it’s about who’s on every newsstand in the country.”
Congratulations and thank you for this important moment, Teddy.
As someone who was assigned female at birth, and is white, I think my message of gender as a spectrum is certainly received better than people who are assigned male at birth and are people of color. We still have this ideal that non-binary only means white, hairless, androgynous people. I think there’s room for every body type, every type of expression, but as we’re aware, there’s so much work to be done in terms of the trans, non-binary community when it comes to people of color.
FINALLY, THE MUCH AWAITED AND PROBABLY MUCH, MUCH NEEDED UPDATE TO THAT NONBINARY COMIC I DID LAST YEAR (last year????? I don’t remember)
I’ve learned a lot since then, and while I have to say the truth is a bitter pill to swallow, it does open my eyes to issues that I previously have not seen nor considered before. Being a cis Muslim woman is already hard enough as it is. But being an afab nonbinary Muslim? Oh boy. If I were to touch on that here I will not have the space to do so, and it’s honestly still something I’m learning about, so I don’t have the resources or knowledge enough to talk about this here.
Yes we still have a lot of things we need to work out on. Yes, I probably will never take my hijab off knowing what kind of things I might end up getting if I did (I could get kicked out of my own house, for one). I realize and understand these are issues faced by nb Muslims like me EVERYWHERE.
But you know what?
In the end only Allah can judge you for who you are. And I highly doubt He cares what you identify with. All I know is that He is Most Merciful and Most Forgiving. So fuck what people tell you. You’re valid, your gender is valid, your beliefs are valid, and you can be both at the same time and still be a good Muslim.
Fuck what everyone says. Be you, do you!
*My ask box & IM is open for any nonbinary Muslim that wants to talk or vent about it to me. You’ll always find a place here with me. I promise.
Nonbinary people with unsupportive family members are so strong and valid! I admire them every day. It’s hard not to have your family behind you, but their lack of understanding, their disapproval, in no way diminishes the validity of your identity, and you still and always will deserve for that identity to be respected.