gender double standards

“My boyfriend isn’t allowed to talk to other girls,” is just as unhealthy as “My girlfriend isn’t allowed to talk to other guys.”

“You can’t hang out with [boyfriend’s female friend] anymore,” is just as abusive as “You can’t hang out with [girlfriend’s male friend] anymore.”

“My man isn’t allowed to go out with his guys unless I’m with him,” is just as creepy and possessive as “My girl isn’t allowed to go out with her friends unless I’m with her.”

A woman who controls and manipulates her boyfriend is just as abusive as a man who controls and manipulates his girlfriend, pass it on.

When you call a woman a “girl”, you reinforce the infantilization of women as helpless, irrational, weak beings in need of protection. A diminutive term, “girl” denies a woman her adulthood, her maturity and her power. Notice the frequency in which we call men “men” or “guys” but call women “girls”. This is no coincidence. This use of language is rooted in sexism and it is disrespectful, patronizing and disempowering. A woman is not a female child. Stop calling women “girls”.

Thought of the day (while reading a “gender marketing” translation with painfully outdated views): I am really, really sick of us only talking about “gender” when women are involved.

A surprising number of important realizations could be made if we develop the habit of talking about gender dynamics even – perhaps especially – in the context of all-male or mostly-male groups.

How does it affect productivity, public image, collaboration, negotiating, client acquisition, etc. to have any group of people involved be entirely men? What effects does this drastic gender imbalance cause in its environment?

LET’S TALK ABOUT GENDER AND MEN, PEOPLE. Gender is not an exclusively female domain.


Me, interviewing the director of basically any film ever: “So let’s talk about the extreme gender imbalance in the casting of this film. What was the thinking behind that? Was there a particular statement you were trying to make, a satirical observation on the politics of society, perhaps? That kind of came out of left field, when we watched the film and all the parts but one were men. Can you tell us a little about the background of that?”


Director: “Um… I didn’t actually consciously think that much abou–”

Me, interrupting: “Come now, don’t be modest! That was a fascinating artistic decision! The drastic disparity between the number of men and the number of women in the film makes it clear to even the most casual viewer that gender is a central theme in this story. Can we delve into that a little bit further?”

Director: “…”


This would be a fun tack to take in regard to race, too.

“I noticed something very interesting about your film, which is that every single one of the leading roles is played by a white actor. Clearly there’s some conceptual message you want to communicate with this creative choice. Could you talk about that?”

Director: *sweats nervously*

*Man hits his wife, rapes, behaves aggressively, drinks, smokes, does drugs, etc etc*: “but he never had a good relationship with his father and he’s got issues 😢”

*Woman goes through terrible, traumatic experience and speaks out about it*: “OMG MOVE ON get over it you can’t let it rule your life you need to stop going in about it and just live your life and move on”

“Man, why do all these comic book chicks have daddy issues?”

Tony Stark’s character arc is driven by ambivalence toward his father’s legacy.

Bruce Banner’s powers are the literal, physical manifestation of his alienation from his own capacity for violence due to the abuse he suffered at his father’s hands.

Thor… man, do I even need to explain it?

A better question might be: why are daddy issues only contemptible when it’s a woman having them?